Chapter 5 (recap)

When I was finished in the bathroom I made my way back to our table where Mike sat. He seemed nervous and his thoughts were confusing me. Come on Mike just say it. She's totally into you and she needs your help. Be a man. I swear to God if he kisses me I'll . . . but my thoughts were cut short when Mike suddenly said,

"You can tell me if you're bulimic, Wina. I can get you help," he said gently, reaching for my hand. I yanked it away.

Wait . . . what? Bulimic . . . oh hell no. That bastard was listening to me in the bathroom?

"Wait, why were you listening to what I was doing in the bathroom!? What the hell were you expecting to hear!?"

MPOV

Aw damn.

Chapter 6

Warning: This chapter contains minor language and brief sexual references. It shouldn't be too bad for anyone over the age of thirteen or so.

BPOV

I glanced out the Rabbit to see the foliage of Forks zipping by. It was cold and wet but what else is new? To my left sat Jake, a stony yet resigned look masked his face. He hadn't been the sun I had known and loved this past week. Ever since his grandfather's death Jake was rather forlorn. (A/N: I know this isn't true but it's our story.) These days his face was lined with pain and remorse. I had been staying with Jacob for about a week now.

We pulled into the parking lot of a little shack of a place with a banner that read, GRAND OPENING above the title Nacho Bueno. Well that makes TWO whole restaurants in Forks!

We entered the restaurant to find that there were a lot of people inside, most people I knew from Forks High School. I glanced around; in the center of the restaurant sat Mike Newton and a rather ugly girl with a bad perm and too much make up. I'd never seen her before.

She turned he head as we entered and our eyes met. They were liquid gold. There were only seven people I knew with honey colored eyes in the Forks area. Let's see. Carlisle and Esme had better sense then to do this. Alice, no it couldn't be the "girl" (if it even was a girl) was taller than that. Rosalie, please, she wouldn't be caught dead (or whatever she is) looking like that. Emmett, was bulkier and Mike would probably be unconscious by this time. Jasper? Please be Jasper. Please.

EPOV

I. was. pissed. To say the least. Mike wouldn't drop the fact that I was bulimic. Currently, he was trying to "talk sense into me" by attempting to force me to go see a counselor.

"Look Wina I know that you want to look good for me, hanging off these guns." He brought his flexed both of his arms and kissed where there would be muscles if he had any.

The only gun I want is pressed against my head in a vain attempt to kill myself and end this torture. I thought.

I tuned back into Mike using all of my self-restraint not to knee Mike in the balls, hard, and walk out.

". . . pudding . . ." I cut him off.

"You still didn't answer my question. WHY THE HELL WERE YOU LISTENING TO ME IN THE BATHROOM1?"

"I couldn't be away from you Edwina. We're made for each other you and me," was his excuse. "Life without you would be like a broken pencil . . . pointless."

What the hell? Did he just relate me to a broken pencil? Wait . . . and he thinks I need counseling?

"That doesn't mean you have permission to follow me into the bathroom!" I roared.

He looked bemused. Boyfriends don't follow their girlfriends into the bathroom? he thought.

Oh my god. What a douche.

Suddenly, a familiar smell hit me. It burned my nose and made me want to gag and then strawberries seem to hit me and a smell so mouthwatering it took all of my strength not to dart out of there and eat that delicious human.

At this time Mike and I had fallen into an awkward silence broken only by Mike's farts and thoughts of what pick-up line he should use. Ever now and then he would throw one in there, which were sure to be followed by even more awkward silence. My personal favorites were . . .

"What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My zipper."

"I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access."

"Do you have a mirror in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants."

Almost all of them were sexually related.

A few minutes later Bella and Jacob walked in. I growled, their arms were linked. Bella looked around the place and our eyes met. Her eyebrows shot up. Shock was etched clearly into her face. Jacob dragged her to their table a contemplating look on her face.

Before I had time to do anything about this fact Mike fumbled with something in his pocket. He pulled out a small black box. I swear to god it he proposes, I thought.

"Listen, Mike . . ." I had to get a few things cleared up here.

"If sexiness were a band, you would rock my world," cajoled Mike.

"Wow, um . . . I'm flattered. But . . ." I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly.

He cut me off. "Edwina your face is the spotlight on the stage of my life. I want you to have this ring as a token of our love."

Wait . . . did he say love?

"Let's think of this as a promise ring . . . not exactly a virginity ring if you know what I'm saying." He said with a glint in his eyes while waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

I was in shock. Our first date and he was already giving me a promise ring? Oh hell no! He knelt down on the ground.

"Edwina I love you, I'll always love you." I leaped up out of my chair.

At this point we were drawing some attention from the other people in the restaurant. To the third person viewer it would look as if Mike was proposing with him kneeling down a gold ring in a small velvet box and me out of my chair.

The clapping and cheering started along with, "Go Mikey!" "YEA BOY!" and a chant of "Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!" started up. Oh hell no! This was not happening.

I could see the phrase, "You're face is the spotlight in the stage of my life." Engraved into the ring.

"Damn Wina you need a shave." said Mike inspecting my hairy legs visible from under the dress.

That was it. I slapped Mike. Hard. A little too hard. Mike flew across the room straight into a mirror. He slowly slid down the wall, unconscious, ending with a large thump on the floor in a puddle of his own blood.

Every jaw in the restaurant was on the floor. Shock, worry, and revulsion were clear in everyone's faces.

Damn Edward. Think Fast. Uh . . .

"YOU'VE BEEN PUNK'D!" I yelled, dropping my sweet, sickly Edwina voice and waving my hand with emphasis. I pointed to the bushes where Emmett, Alice, and Jasper were hiding with a camera. Every head turned to look out the window. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper were there frozen to the spot. There faces were shock and Emmett's eye was twitching.

Surprisingly, Jasper was still there. Mike must have just struck up the balls to do this at the last minute, preventing Alice from seeing it coming. Even more surprisingly Jasper was fine. I searched his head for answers.

It's okay Edward. He smells like cow manure. I'll be fine on this one.

I sniffed the air. Oh my god. Jasper was right. The kind of odor that comes when you open the door to a port-a-potty hit my nose like a dodge ball thrown by that fat, mean kid. For the second time that day my eyes were watering. Damn. This was great.

After a second or two Emmett and Alice caught on to what I was saying and began to smile. Pointing to the camera.

Thoughts suddenly flooded my mind. All of them so different yet so similar.

Wtf, are they serious?

It's a guy?

The chicks a dude?

This is one surgery gone seriously wrong.

Ha, ha! I got punk'd. I've always wanted to be on this show! "HI MOM!" the guys said while waving to the camera.

It's a homo, someone thought.

"Who said that?" I asked, still in my normal voice.

An insane homo, the same person thought.

BPOV

I was silent. Yep, that was definitely Edward. God I knew I shouldn't have killed that spider in the bathroom this morning. Karma is a total bitch.

I glanced down at my napkin to find Alice's familiar cursive handwriting.

Emmett. Bet gone awry. Run while you can. Don't look back.

- Alice

"Jake . . . let's go I feel sick." I said with shifty eyes holding my hands to my stomach.

He raised his eyebrows. Damn, I had always been a crappy liar.

"What does that napkin say?" he asked.

"What?" I asked in my best, frazzled tone. "What napkin?"

"That one. Right there," he gestured to my napkin.

"Oh! This! This napkin, right here?" I asked slapping my forehead with nervous fake laughter. "Yeah . . . that's my grocery list." That sounded like a lie, even to me.

He narrowed his eyes. "Then why does it say Emmett on it?"

"What! It doesn't say that!" I choked out.

"Yeah it does. Right there." He attempted to point to the word Emmett but I covered the napkin by putting my elbow on it.

"Oh! Those!" I muttered, waving my hand at an attempt of being nonchalant. "Those are Emmett pickles. Why don't we go get some?"

"Really? Then why does it say Alice?" asked Jake, not dropping the subject.

"It doesn't say that."

"Yeah, it does." He tried to grab the napkin but I picked it up and blew my nose in it.

"Bella. Why are you acting so weird?"

"BECAUSE I'M NAUSEATED!" I hollered getting up out of my chair.

I turned around to find the whole room silent and staring at me.

"WHAT!!! WHY YOU STARRING AT ME? HUH? YOU GOT A PROBLEM!! WELL!!! DO YA!!!" I shouted. My right eye unconsciously twitching and my head spazzing to the left side every other second. Suddenly I broke down into sobs and fell onto the carpet in a crumpled heap.

Damn PMS.

EPOV

Wow, I thought. Perfect timing. After one hundred years of loneliness I finally find the right girl and then you turn her into a psychopath. Hell no!!!! Thanks god. This is why I'm now an official atheist.

I heard sirens and knew that it wouldn't be long until the ambulance got here.

Mike regained consciousness just in time for the paramedics to arrive. They hoisted him up onto a gurney and began to wheel him away. I walked by him as they wheeled. When he saw me he winced and tried to edge away. I turned my laugh into a cough. A bright red handprint was evident on the side of Mike's face.

Suddenly Alice had a vision.

An older looking businesswoman rang the door of Mike's house. Mike answered the door.

"Hello, I'm Ms. Jane Kelly. I work with child services. We are currently under suspicion of child abuse conducted within this household.

Mike's face was shocked. It looked as if some time had passed between the vision and now as the handprint was now a green, black, and blue bruise.

"It's alright; I'm here to help you. Most kids going through what you've been suffer from trauma and lack of concentration at school too. That's probably why you're grades are the way they are. May I come in and look around."

"W, What?" Mike spluttered. "I'm not being abused."

"Then where did you get that giant bruise in the shape of a handprint on your face?" She asked raising her eyebrows. "It's okay, everything will be alright."

She pulled a very shocked Mike into a hug; his mouth hung open and he opened and closed it like a goldfish.

The scene returned to the Nacho Bueno. It took all of the restraint I had not to laugh out loud. No doubt Emmett would be filming that.

"Sorry Mike, it's the damn Tourettes." I said coming up with a lame excuse.

"It's alright Wina. Keep the ring, lose the virginity," he whispered before being hoisted up into the back of the paramedics van. I couldn't tell if he was winking at me or his eye was twitching from the pain. I think it was a mixture of the two.

A/N: Thanks for reading!! Hope you enjoyed it! This chapter was written by myself, the amazing Evie! Please review and let me know your thoughts. Did you . . . like it, love it, hate it? Favorite part in the chapter? the story? Anything you want to see in upcoming chapters? We love to hear from you all. Have a great day!

- Evie, Dal, and Ava