Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. If I did I would make Carlisle and Edward do bad things to each other while I watched. ;)

Author's note: I really, really need a beta. I have no time to edit and evaluate my stories. If anyone is interested please let me know. I'm desperate.

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EPOV

I just had the best fucking dream ever. I dreamt that I saw Bella again and we fucked all night before falling asleep in each other's arms. Just like it used to be. I miss that. What the fuck is that rustling? If Emmett or Jasper wake me up I am going to fucking kill them. I cracked open one eye to see who was disturbing my sleep to see Bella hurriedly pulling on a little blue dress. What the fuck? Did I not dream last night? Was it real? It must be. She was here, in my room getting dressed. I cleared my throat to get her attention. She pulled on the rest of her dress and turned around to face me though she couldn't meet my eyes. She was staring at my chest. Yeah all the ladies loved it. I worked out like a motherfucker to get this six-pack. She finally raised her eyes to meet mine and we just stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like hours but was only a few minutes. She was the one to finally break the trance I was in. "So . . . I guess I'll get going" she said rather awkwardly.

"You don't have to . . . I mean shouldn't we talk about what happened or something" I said although what I really wanted to do involved no clothes and Bella's lips wrapped around my cock.

"If you want to I suppose, you did say last night that you had changed and wanted to prove that to me" Holy shit. I did say that. But I hadn't changed really. I was still a dickhead most of the time. How did I get myself into these situations? I didn't want to lose her again but I didn't think I can handle a relationship either. I had the perfect solution!

"Yeah about that . . . I am kind of not really looking for a relationship right now. We are amazing in bed together though so maybe we could be like fuck buddies or something" I am a genius.

"Hang on, let me get this right. You want me want to be my friend, fuck other women and then when you are bored you want me to let you fuck me. Is that about right?" Wow that sounds fantastic. I would have the perfect life. I would get to fuck hot, slutty women and still come home to Bella. The woman that I love.

"Yeah that sums it up I guess"

"You are an unbelievable prick" she yelled as she slapped me across my face. Bitch was crazy. I didn't say anything that bad did I? I mean we are both adults.

"What the hell was that for?"

"You are the most egotistical asshole I have ever met. You just waltz back into my life and my bed then turn around and ask me to be your little whore on the side when you fuck anything with a hole between its legs. God that's it. I'm leaving. Don't call me. Don't try and find me. Don't ask my friends about me. I'm through with you Edward fucking Cullen." OK maybe I did deserve the slap. Fuck it sounded really bad when Bella said it. I am an asshole. I can't help it though. I was scared before and now it is just what I do. I sleep around. That's what my life has been since Bella left. I f Bella had stayed I probably would have grown out of it within a couple of months and begged her to take me back. But I had no reason to stop and it made me forget about everything for a little while. While I was contemplating on my life, it walked out the door. I had always known that Bella was my life and that we were meant to be together. I just wanted to live a little before we settled down. Is that too much to ask. I didn't think so. Would she agree if I asked her to wait for me? I will be ready some day, I think. Does she still love me? And if she does, does she love me enough to wait until I'm ready? I am only twenty three. I am not done sowing my wild oats and shit. I don't want to be tied down yet. Is that a crime? If I attempted a relationship right now I would fuck it up. I don't want to fuck it up with Bella. At the moment I am far too used to fucking any girl I find attractive. I don't think I could just turn that off, even if I was in a relationship. I need advice. I will have to call Jazz and Em; they are both in long-term, monogamous relationships. I need to know how they do it.

An hour later they were both at my door after a rather cryptic phone call on my part. I let them in and handed out a round of beers. I for one was going to need it. We all sat down and then they just stared at me, waiting for me to tell them why they were here. Shit where the hell to I start?

"I fucked Bella last night" I all but shouted at them. Fucking hell, do I not have an internal filter? Must I always say the first thing I think?

"I'm sorry you did what now?" asked Emmett.

"I fucked Bella last night"

"Swan?" asked Jasper.

"What other Bella do we know" I replied getting irritated. They both just stared slack jawed at me. "Why the fuck are you both staring at me like that?"

"I'm sorry I just can't believe that you slept with her? Where the fuck did you even see her?" asked Emmett.

"I saw in the club and she was dancing, and I use the term loosely, with some guy. Seeing her with someone else just broke me. I had to speak to her and touch her. I was pretty drunk so I did. I went over to her and started grinding on her and then I asked her if we could talk. She came back here, we talked. I found out she though I broke up with her because I was gay and she must have told someone. I think that is how the rumour at college started. We were talking and the next thing I knew we were fucking like bunnies. When I woke up this morning she was getting dressed, trying to sneak out without waking me. We had an argument and she left telling me never to contact her again."

"OK first things first what the hell did you say to get Bella into bed because she hates you?" asked Jasper.

"I told her I had changed and that I was going to prove it to her" I replied.

"Do you have any intention of changing?" asked Emmett.

"No, not really and that is what the argument was about this morning. I told her I still wanted to sleep with other girls and I didn't want to lose Bella so I asked her if we could be fuck buddies, I think I called it."

"So let me get this straight you asked your ex, who you were seeing for 7 years and who happens to be the love of your life, to be your fuck buddy so you could still fuck other people and you said this to her even though this was the reason you broke up with her?" asked Jasper seemingly disbelieving.

"Yeah" was all I could say. I was a dick.

"You little fucker!" shouted Emmett coming towards me. I felt pain in my jaw before darkness overtook me.

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Author's note: There it is Edwards POV, some people were commenting on what a dickhead Edward is being. He does have his reasons although they don't justify his behaviour. Will he change? Thanks for reading everyone. If you have any questions, comments or suggestions let me know. If anyone is interested being the beta for this story let me know.