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Planning weddings is NOT my forte.

But it should be.

I AM A MASTER at weddings!

I didn't know it myself until yesterday. Yesterday was the day that the most horrible impossible crazy wedding ever to be planned, came off without a hitch. Yes darlings, it was a hitch-free, bitchin' beautiful wedding, and I did it all!

Okay. I'll give 10% credit to the beautiful bride and YUMMY groom. But the rest… the 90%? Me. All me!

Don't believe me?

Well YOU try planning a wedding that combines: A pregnant brides' maid, a bride in black, a stuffed hippo as ring bearer, a Chuppah Canopy, and a catholic priest – who knows sign language. On New Year's eve.

I am a god.

A tired god, but a god none-the-less.

"Here you go babe," Jorge placed Rex's Naked Cosmo on a coaster in front of him.

"Thank you, Love. What would I do without you?"

"You'd definitely live in a much messier apartment."

Rex tutted, "Stop picking on me. I've had a hard two months. Abby's wedding was a killer. An absolute killer." He took a sip of his drink. "'Course, it was amazing." He turned to Jorge. "I pulled it off, didn't I?"

"With your usual aplomb and panache." Jorge curved lower on the couch next to Rex and rested his head on his shoulder. "I still don't know how you got 'Sleep No More' to play at their reception!"

"Ha! I promised their lead singer your number darling."

Jorge raised a brow. "So you whored me off for Abby?"

"I gave him your number, but I assured him that you were my baby and wouldn't call him back."

"I'm the dangling carrot he'll never get?"

"Do you want him? To get you?" Rex asked a little hesitantly, his normal assuredness slipping slightly.

"Why would I, when I already have such a strong, handsome, blond, weddin' plannin', Norse-God for a mate?"

"Excellent question!"

They sat together in companionable silence for a few seconds before Jorge added, "I honestly didn't think that Jethro was going to make it down the aisle with Bert attached to his back."

Rex chuckled. "My Abby wants a stuffed farting hippo for her ring bearer, and a stuffed farting hippo she shall get! … Actually, Jethro the dog was easier to finagle down that aisle than Jethro the man was!"

"Ahh, yes, but WHAT a man!" Jorge said with a smile.

"No drooling over the Maid of Honor!" Rex admonished.

"He's never going to live that down you know, being the maid of honor at a wedding!"

"Who, in their right mind, is going to DARE to mock Mr. Jethro Leroy Gibbs … about anything?!!"

"And now YOU have asked an excellent question darling!"

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"Nice Tat."

Abby looked over her left shoulder to the brunette woman standing just behind her at the bar. Cool, nonchalant eyes filled with just a touch of mischievousness greeted her own.

"Thanks. A pain to sit through, but worth it for the stares."

As the crowd in front of them shifted a bit, Abby's tattoo fan moved a step closer. "Especially the stares from the 'boys' right?" She stared at Abby knowingly.

"Uh huh. They are kind of easy to play with, aren't they?"

"And fun too" added her companion with a feminine growl.

Laughing Abby turned to the side and extend her hand the short distance the separated them. "I'm Abby."

"Faith."

"Nice to meet – ooooh! We're up!" She yelled at the bartender, making certain her voice was audible, "I need one Mojito, one TnT, and…" she turned back to Faith. "What do you want?"

"A Buttery Nipple and a tequila shot."

Abby turned back to the bartender. "One buttery nipple and one tequila shot!"

As the bartender wandered off to fix the requested drinks, Abby turned to her new friend.

"So, what do you do for a living?"

"Uh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Abby raised a brow, "Oooooh, a mystery! I love mysteries!" She waited a second then gave up. "Tell me!"

"Patience not one of your virtues?"

"Highly overrated… unless you're making other people do the waiting."

Faith laughed and eyed the tall slender woman in front of her. Pursing her lips together, she tilted her head to the side and took a shot. "So, what do you know about Vampires?"

Faith more or less expected a bark of laughter or for the girl in front of her to back away as if Faith was insane. She didn't expect a squeal of … well 'glee' and a tome of knowledge to spew forth from the girl.

"Vampires – historically thought to be a negative or dark member of the 'undead'. They have died, but they haven't crossed over. Often thought to have lost their souls with their lives, Vampires are still associated with having the more corporeal emotions of humans. Lust, Hatred, maybe even, caprice. Personally, I question the loss of the soul if the body is still moving around, but, that's another issue. Anyway, Vampires traditionally sustain themselves through the taking of blood; animal, human, fresh, bottled. You name it. Vampires are as close to immortal as one can get without being a god. They historically are thought to be 'killable' , or severely maimed through: Garlic, Hawthorn branches, sunlight, crosses, wooden stakes (although, I've heard that metal works too), and holy water. The use of fire is still up in the air… it probably hurts, but will it kill?" Abby pulled in a giant gulp of air. "That's all I really know."

"Are you kidding me?" Faith smiled and lifted her hand to Abby's arm. Warm. So she isn't a vampire herself. Hmmm. "Fire works."

Abby's eyes opened a little bigger.

"The one thing about vampires that you didn't mention, is that they are hunted by people like me: Slayers."

"Van Helsings?"

"Just a myth."

"Really? So what's a 'slayer'?"

"Someone who hunts down vampires and other creatures of the night and makes them bite the dust."

"Your drinks ladies."

"Oh, here, keep the change!" Abby reached for the drinks the bartender had placed in front of her and turned back to Faith. "Wait, there are other creatures of the night? Like Werewolves? And Ghosts? Ooooh, oooh, oooh! What about Banshees? Are Banshees real?!" Abby squinted inquisitively at Faith, "What about witches? I knew this girl in New Orleans who I kept telling people was a witch, and no one believed me."

As the two women headed into the main area of the bar, Faith shook her head with a loud laugh, "You know Abs, you kind of remind me of this red headed witch I use to know; she didn't need to breath when she spoke either."