Chapter 2- Mirror

He really doesn't want me back. This thought made me crouch down and start crying. I looked in my mirror. Looked at my blue nail polished fingers clasp around my mouth. My face turning red, as I try to hold back the shrieks. My tears run down my cheek black, because of my eyeliner. My makeup all ruined. I close my eyes. I didn't want to see myself. Not worthy… not worthy of him. Not good enough. I'm ugly.

I run into my kitchen and grab a knife. Sitting right in front of my mirror, I hesitate as I'm about to cut my cheek. I press the tip of the knifes blade against my right cheek. I start at the bottom of the bags under my eyes from crying and slice all the way down to the corner of my lips. My not good enough lips.

Carefully, I put the knife down, watching my cheek drip blood. I look at my reflection. Then look down at my hands.

I pick up the knife once more to gash open my wrists. I look at the scar on my arm and shiver… remembering the night of suicide.

I press down to make a line going vertically down my arm. Soon the blood starts dripping.

So painful. But I'm not worthy to wince in pain or even complain.

I just it in the corner of my room crying. Playing our song over and over again in my head. Replaying each moment we spent together. Replaying our conversations and laughter in my head. Just wishing I could hear his voice one last time. See his smile… Look in his beautiful eyes. I look up. The mirror is right in front of me as I realize I'm covered in blood.

I hope you lose a lot of blood and die I think to myself sit in the corner of my room trying to grant my wish. I honestly want to die. Across the room I see something shine. I crawl across my room floor, picking up whatever was under my dresser.

His chain. I hold it in my hands. Crawling up into a ball I begin to cry. The blood from my face now cover the chain. I pick up my head to look at it once more. I get up to throw it back across the room.

I start shrieking in pain. Pain from heart break. Punching the walls my fist start bleeding. My fist goes through all the way, but I continue punching. Remembering everything we did. He fucked me, then he left me! He just left. Both my fist bleeding. I stop. Finally, I decide I've had enough.

I go into my bathroom. Blood everywhere, I jump in the shower with my blood stained clothes. I take everything off in the shower and throw it out. Too much blood.

Sitting in the shower, I let the water run through my cuts. The water pink and red.

I sit there with my eyes closed for an hour… Sulking. Crying.