Chapter 4- The 19th
I wake up stiff and depressed.
"Bliss, get up breakfast!" my mom yelled.
"Not hungry."
"Your never hungry. You never eat anymore. You lost too much weight. Come eat."
"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, NO?!" I stormed out of my room fully dressed heading for the door. She didn't have any intention on stopping me. She knows… she knows what today is.
As soon as I walk out of the door my phone starts ringing. If it's my mother I swear I will break the damn phone. I look at the caller I.D. number but I don't know who it is. It looks like a fimiliar number.
"Hello?"
"Yeah, Bliss?"
"Uh, yeah who's this?"
"Keith." my heart stopped. I wanted to hang up so bad. Just hang up don't put yourself through this.
"You there?"
"Um, yeah. I can't talk right now I'm comiting suicide." I chuckled.
"Oh… um. Ok. Call me back?"
"Yeah, sure. Whatever." I hung up after he said bye. Shaking in the middle of my drive through, I was about to shed tears of joy… from hearing his voice. Poor pathetic Bliss.
I turned my phone off and just walked around Bridgeport. I want to go to New York… get out of Connecticut for a little while. Nope… But I can't. Stupid sucker. Go to the park.
I can't erase him from my mind. I really can't. I miss him… So much… too much.
I reached the park and sit on the bench. I take out my pocket knife and add to my scars. Three more… Three thiny sliced bloody cuts. All named Keith. Pain, pain, even more, but I deserve pain. Deserve cuts and scars. Deserve death. I need to say goodbye once and for all. I will… one day. I hope it's soon. I wish sooner. Please, please God just take me away. Please? I don't want life. Don't deserve life. I can not live without him. I need to commit suicide. I need to leave. I need to die. To say goodbye.
I can't do this anymore. Soon it will be time to say goodbye. August 19, isn't worth living if I'm not with him. I hate this.