A/N: Sorry this took so long to post. Wasn't home much last week. Things are looking up in this chapter which, as you know, can only mean bad things are going to happen (there's a hint for the next chapter :D). On a slightly related note, I went to see Jethro Tull on Saturday night and they played the song this story is named after. I almost squee-d out loud :D.

Have to give credit to the Macmillan cancer website where I got all my information from

Chapter Eight

Syed felt like he was going to die he felt so bad. Although this was his third round of chemotherapy it did not get any better. This was the worst he had ever felt in his life. He had no energy so he just lay there on his hospital bed moving only to throw up. Christian had never left his side the entire time, holding his hand and whispering soothing words whilst he rubbed Syed's back. It had been like that since the chemotherapy had started and it made Syed feel slightly less miserable than if he had been on his own.

"How are you feeling?" Christian asked as he gently rubbed circles on Syed's hand. Syed smiled weakly at the contact.

"I've been better."

"It'll be over soon."

"For this time. But then I'll have to do it again and again and it gets harder every time I have to lay here and be prodded and poked and be filled full of poison in order to make me better. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling so sick all of the time and I'm tired of having no energy. But most of all I'm tired of trying to be so positive all the time. I just want it all to be over; I want to feel well again."

"I know, we all want you to get better but you can't give up."

"Can I just be on my own for a bit? I just need a little time to think," his tone was distant and not entirely friendly.

"Of course," Christian said as he stood up, not happy at Syed's sudden coldness towards him. "Just call me if you need me."

"I will," Syed said, softer this time. He smiled gently and allowed Christian to lean down to kiss him.

"I'll see you later," Christian said before leaving Syed alone.

He felt miserable. He was sick and tired of everything and for some unknown reason he seemed intent on pushing Christian away. He didn't want to, didn't mean to but yet he kept on doing it. He had some serious apologising to do once Christian came back. Even if he didn't have the energy to move right now.

Syed felt sick again, the unmistakable wave of nausea hit him and he quickly leaned over the cardboard basin and vomited. Not that he had much on his stomach to bring up so most of it was just bile and it made Syed feel even worse. He gently pressed the call button and waited for a nurse to arrive so he could ask for something to stop him feeling so sick.

"How are you feeling?" One of the nurses asked cheerfully as she entered his room.

"Sick," he replied quietly.

"I'll get you something," she smiled. "No Christian?" They had all become used to him being there.

"He went for a walk, get some air," Syed told her omitting the tiff they had earlier.

"The doctor is going to come by and talk to you later to give you an update. You might want your family here."

"Thanks," Syed smiled slightly. "I'll ring them later."

The nurse left after giving him the anti-sickness medicine and once more Syed was left on his own. He tried sleeping but he found he couldn't. Giving up on that he grabbed the hospital phone and dialled Christian's number.

"Hi, can you come back?" He asked. "I need you. Mum and dad too."

Christian was the first to arrive, followed shortly by Masood and Zainab. He sat on the bed next to Syed with his arm draped over his shoulders. Syed leaned into the contact and closed his eyes; happy just to lie there and breathe in his lovers scent.

The doctor entered a few minutes later.

"How are you feeling, Syed?" He asked.

"I'm okay," he replied, not opening his eyes.

"I've been looking over your blood and bone marrow tests and things are looking good."

"What does that mean?" Zainab asked anxiously.

"It means that there has been a marked improvement in Syed's blood count since the chemotherapy started. It is early days but I'm quietly confident."

Syed smiled slightly to himself and he felt Christian squeeze his hand. He looked up and saw him smiling too. For the first time in weeks Syed felt hopeful that everything was going to be okay.

"You hear that?" Christian said. "Things are looking up."

"This is good news," Zainab said; with a smile on her face. "We should celebrate."

"Maybe we should wait until I'm completely better," Syed said. "I don't want to jinx things."

"Nonsense, we have to celebrate even the little victories."

Syed looked to Christian for support. He really didn't feel like celebrating at the moment.

"Why don't we wait until Sy's feeling a little better? He must be feeling exhausted after the chemotherapy today."

"Maybe you're right," Zainab reluctantly agreed. "You do seem a little pasty."

"Thanks mum," Syed replied sarcastically. "You really know how to make a sick man feel better."

"Don't worry," Christian whispered, "I still think you're gorgeous," he leaned in and gave Syed a quick kiss.

"You're a charmer but I love you," Syed smiled and returned the kiss. Then he became very aware of his mother sitting there looking uncomfortable. "Sorry," he said to her.

"Maybe I should leave you two alone," she said and stood up. "I'll see you later, pappoo," she said and leaned down to kiss her son on the forehead.

"Bye mum," he replied as she turned and left, Masood following her. "I think we made her uncomfortable."

"She'll get over it."

"I'm sorry about earlier, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I know you were just trying to help."

"Don't worry about it. I completely understand why you did but you have to know that I am not going anywhere. You can shout at me all you want but I will still be there for you at the end of the day. I am not going anywhere," he repeated, adding extra emphasis.

"I know and that's why I love you."

Syed leaned into Christian's arms and rested his head in the crook of his neck. He felt so safe and comfortable there that he never wanted to leave.

"Things are going to get better now, aren't they?" He asked Christian.

"Of course they are," he replied but he was wrong.