Author's Note: I know! I know! It's been an eternity! But here it is. The conclusion you've been waiting for! I hope you all enjoyed the story and I CERTAINLY enjoyed all of you! I got all wonderful reviews. Nothing nasty whatsoever and I LOVE that! Please don't make the ending of the story a reason not to review. I would REALLY REALLY like to know what you thought of the story over all. :)

Thanks: To Sterenyk Strey for sticking with me through the entire thing and always giving helpful tips! As usual, the ending is 99% hers.

Disclaimer/Credit: I do not own Stargate: Atlantis - nothing, nada. But I do own Jagrin, Thompson and the story line. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't but just to be on the safe side, please don't steal those without my permission. Thanks! :)

"...been through a lot. I tried to give him a sedative but it doesn't seem to work. He –

"John?"

Sheppard heard the voice call his name but he couldn't see where it came from. All he could see was a blank ceiling. And he could hear beeping - lots of beeping.

"John? Are you awake?"

He tried to reply, but all that came out was a half-hearted groan. Almost immediately, two faces loomed over him – both of which were very familiar. His head was still spinning however and it took him a moment to remember names. The man was easily recognizable however and he smiled slightly. "Carsssoon," he slurred. He remembered hoping to see Carson again, but other than that he couldn't recall very much. He did recollect that he felt very angry and sad before but he didn't know, or want to know, why that was.

"That's it, lad." Carson replied with an encouraging smile. "Are you feeling any better?"

John lifted an eyebrow. "I don't feel anything."

The other face construed slightly in worry and he turned his head towards her as well. His mind began to swim as he searched desperately for a name to match her face.

"Elizzzzzaabethhh," he drawled out, his brow furrowing as he looked at her.

"Yes, John," she nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "It's me. Don't worry, all right? Dr. Beckett is doing the best he can to get you back to your old self again."

A face flashed before his eyes and this time, it didn't even take a second to remember the name. "Jaaagrinn."

"You don't have to worry about him anymore, Colonel," Beckett assured, disappearing from his view, but his voice still audible. "We're not sure where he went, actually, but I think it's safe to say that he's –

"Carson," Elizabeth's voice cut the doctor off. "I think we should probably let him try to rest. Maybe we can go over the mission later, when he's feeling better?"

"You're right. Sorry, John."

Elizabeth rested her hands on his bed and she smiled at him. But the expression didn't reach her eyes and even Sheppard, as deluded as he was, knew that she was worried. "Get some sleep, Colonel."

John shook his head. He couldn't sleep. Not now. Things had to be done. Someone was in trouble – a team member? A friend? Swiveling his head around the room, he looked for someone – who, he wasn't quite sure but he knew someone was in trouble. He had to save them. This was no time to sleep.

"The mission's over," Elizabeth told him, as if reading his mind. "You can go to sleep. Everything's going to be all right. Your team is here, safe and sound."

For some reason, he immediately believed her and he nodded in acceptance. She disappeared from his view and he closed his eyes, trying to force his mind to relax. And, eventually, he found sleep.

xXx

"Visiting hours over yet?"

John looked up from his Sudoku book to see a jumpy Rodney McKay lingering at the door and wringing his hands. "Come in, Rodney." He suppressed a growl. To tell the truth, he was sick of visitors. All they would do was tell him how worried they were about him and how proud he's made everyone. Then whenever he would ask about the mission, they would turn tail and flee.

McKay entered and walked slowly towards Sheppard's bed – as if becoming indecisive of whether or not to go through with it.

Growing impatient with the scientist's hesitant entrance, he returned his focus towards his puzzle book and grabbed another saltine cracker from his tray. "If you're also here to tell me what a good boy I've been, then get the hell out."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sheppard saw Rodney halt and he cringed inwardly at the harshness he heard in his own words, but did not apologize.

"Well," McKay laughed nervously, "I'm not usually one to praise anyone but myself, so..."

John looked up from his book and glared at him. Trying to lighten the situation with humor was usually his task but Rodney sucked at it and he could tell he was merely trying not to flip the switch on the soldier's easily flared temper.

"Right, um..." The scientist kept his outrageous distance of about ten feet as he clicked his tongue, searching for a subject. "So I heard you yelled at Weir?"

He sighed and looked back at his book. "That's not really big news around here, McKay. Besides, everyone keeps treating me like a ticking time bomb, especially Elizabeth. I might as well throw them a bone."

"Well, how do you want us to treat you? I mean, if one person even begins to try and be nice to you, you just snap at them! How do you expect people to react?"

Sheppard raised his brow.

"All right, even if that does describe me in a paragraph, that doesn't describe you." Rodney finally risked it and closed the space between them, standing in front of John with his hands stuffed in his pockets. "I mean, you're always the "rough and tough"," go get 'em" kinda guy, with that annoying optimism you seem insistent on carrying even when you're staring death right down the barrel."

"It's kind of hard to be optimistic when you don't even know what you're being optimistic about."

"What do you mean?"

Tossing the book aside, Sheppard looked at Rodney. "I mean the secrecy, the tip-toeing around the entire subject. I don't even remember what happened. All I know is that Carson was there and it had something to do with the Genii –

Rodney snorted. "It actually had a lot to do with the Genii..."

"McKay!"

"Sorry," the scientist winced. "It's just – Heightmeyer said that you wouldn't be able to handle it right now. She says that most of it has to do with a repressed memory or something."

"It happened yesterday!" John nearly shouted. "How can I repress something that recent?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "It might have been too painful for you and your mind just –

"What was too painful for me, Rodney?" he demanded. "I can't remember a damn thing and you all expect me to just shape up and get back to normal without even telling me what went down out there. I feel like a part of my life has just been erased and that scares the crap out of me."

McKay stared at him for awhile but finally nodded. "All right, fine. Dr. Weir, Carson and Kate are going to kill me for this but..."

Sheppard watched as his friend pulled the chair sitting next to the bed closer and sat down. "Now, there was a bit of speculation that you might remember everything once you were reminded of a small detail. So just...let me know when you've heard enough."

John said nothing but waited anxiously as the pain in his gut began to make itself more known. Something told him that his brain had good reason to block out everything but his curiosity was stronger than his gut-feeling at this point and he shoved aside all hesitancy.

Rodney rested his elbow on his knee and began biting his nail. "I guess I should start at the very end. That might make it a little easier for you."

"Just –

"Tell it. I know, I know. Give me a minute, alright? I don't want you to go into cardiac arrest or anything because -

"McKay!"

"You were in an underground Genii facility, okay? You were there for nearly a week."

"What took the rescue team so long?" Sheppard asked, narrowing his eyes.

"We didn't know which planet!" The scientist cried in self defense. "The last planet you were seen on was searched completely but it soon became obvious that whoever took you, Carson and...I mean, took you and Carson–

"And whom?"

"And...your M-16?"

"Rodney..."

"Look, I'm getting there, alright? I don't want to throw it at you all at once."

"Fine."

"Anyway, whoever took you and Carson definitely took you back through the Stargate because there wasn't a trace of you left on the planet...at all. So I, being the genius that I am, scanned the crystals in the DHD until I found the last fifty planets that had been dialed on that planet. We visited every single one and went through some....pretty strange experiences until we finally found a planet largely populated by Genii. Now, knowing that the Genii aren't often the most trustworthy alien race we've met, our ears went up and we began to search."

"You're boring me, McKay."

"Will you just – Okay, fine. I'll skip ahead. We found the underground facility and used our giant wall of meat – A.K.A. Ronon – to get through their relatively flimsy security defense. We found Carson first, who told us about that...thing you had on the back of your head and led us straight to the cell that was keeping you and...and Lieutenant Thompson."

"Lieutenant Thompson?" John repeated and furrowed his brow.

"Ring a bell?" Rodney asked, wincing slightly and looking away.

Sheppard only nodded. "She was the marine I took with Carson on this...ridiculous mission Elizabeth sent us on..."

"I think that's what she called it too after the third or so day."

"The Genii. They captured us – just me and Thompson at first. When we woke up, we were in a dark cell and...Jagrin..."

"Oh, yeah, Carson told us all about your new friend. Apparently he had a thing for Kolya?"

John ignored him and went on. "He shot me, stabbed me, whipped me –

"Whipped you?"

"And..." Sheppard drew in a sharp breath as the memories forced their way back into his mind. "He killed Thompson."

For once, McKay was silent.

He shut his eyes tightly. "Carson...did she...?"

"No, John," the scientist said quietly. "I'm sorry. She didn't make it."

Sheppard tightened his fists together and felt his face grow red with anger. "Rodney, could you give me a minute?"

McKay left the room faster than physically possible when he saw his friend's face.

Once John had ascertained that his friend was gone, he let go. He threw himself out of his bed and began to pace the infirmary, a sudden burst of energy fueling his anger. He remembered everything now; watching the bastard stab her, seeing her pain-filled face as he tried pointlessly to nurse her back to health, and feeling her cold, dead skin as he checked for a pulse that wasn't there.

And now, he couldn't even do anything about it. Somewhere, Jagrin was still roaming free, worshipping – or whatever the heck you'd call that – Kolya and doing whatever unfinished tasks the dead man had left behind.

Feeling his fury slowly begin to take control, he kicked over one of the oxygen tanks, threw his tray across the room and knocked over a nearby Atlantean-design scanner.

The doors to the infirmary suddenly slid open and in stepped three of his greatest enemies for the last 24 hours – Beckett, Weir and Heightmeyer.

"Colonel, you'll need to lie back down," Beckett told him. Behind the doctor, Sheppard saw a timid McKay watching the scene from outside of the infirmary.

"Rodney!" he shouted in anger.

"Look, John, I'm sorry," the man's voice began to sound genuinely worried. "I didn't know what to do, I –

"Colonel, get back on the bed or I'm going to have to sedate you," Carson said firmly and pushed on Sheppard's shoulders gently.

The response was a quick blow to Dr. Beckett's face. Once he saw the doctor lying on the floor, he became frightened. The two women looked at him, appalled. Nurses came rushing in from nowhere and began to push him back.

"You happy now, Rodney?!" Sheppard yelled towards the scientist. He could no longer see the little squealer, but he knew he was there.

At least four nurses now had him pinned to the bed while a rather sore Carson injected him with some sort of sedative.

John bucked against the nurses' grasp but he already knew it was too late. His head was beginning to spin and his muscles were relaxing against his will.

"Stop doing this to yourself." A voice whispered.

Surprised that anyone would be brave enough to say such a thing, he looked around for the source of the voice. To his right, he saw Thompson standing over him with a tear-stained face.

His bucking slowly ceased as he began to lose consciousness. But he still stared at the apparition.

"You're pathetic, Johnny boy." Another voice said.

Turning his head, he saw a new figure appear from behind Thompson.

"Kolya!" he spat.

"What's happening?" he heard Weir ask.

"He's hallucinating," Carson replied, "I'm going to try and give him another dose."

"You could never save her, and now you're a failure. How many soldiers have you abandoned across this galaxy already, Colonel? You're a failure as a soldier and as a friend."

"You're not a failure." The Thompson vision insisted. "You tried to save me. I know you did. It's okay, Colonel, you can let go."

"Can't..." John murmured.

"It's alright, John. It's almost over." A voice said soothingly. Whether it was Carson or Elizabeth, he didn't know, nor did he care.

"You can," Victoria insisted. "You have to. Your team needs you. Everyone needs you."

Behind Thompson, Sheppard could see Kolya beginning to fade away. Not long after, so did she.

"Don't go," he mumbled, slowly losing his grip on reality.

"We're not going anywhere, John." Weir assured. "We're right here."

Even in his damaged state, Sheppard could see that he needed to move on. He had to. Weir needed him, Carson needed him – everyone needed him. He had to shake this off.

"I'll let go," he agreed, though the Thompson apparition had completely faded away.

"That's it, lad," Carson patted him on the shoulder. "Get some rest. You'll feel better afterwards."

Looking to the ceiling, John caught one last glimpse of Thompson's contented face before he closed his eyes and succumbed to oblivion.

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