The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

by Idiosyncrasy101

This be the sequel to Bite Me, mateys! And...well, you'll just have to read, 'cause it's kind of hard to sum up. NOT HISTORICALLY ACCURATE, NOR IS IT MEANT TO BE. This is strictly for pleasure, not for praise or for profit.

13. Click Click, Boom Boom

Chapter 13

"Well..." Benji said, glaring at Miguel, who was looking rather sheepish. "You wanted proof."

"I'm sorry for doubting you..." the redhead apologized.

This island had been inhabited by cannibals. A lot of cannibals...

About twenty or so had been on the shore of the island, fishing Simon out of the ocean when the Archangel pulled ashore.

Now the group of natives was leering savagely at Benji's crew. They seemed to communicate by clicking their tongues in various fashions, with the addition of a few claps and snaps. It was a tough act to follow, but still quite amusing.

Benji was the first to approach them, the others followed warily, with the exception of Berkeley who was nowhere to be seen.

A few of the cannibals were tying a very irate Simon to a pole as he cursed at them. The others were waving their arms gleefully and "clicking" happily. "Click click. Oooo!"

"Let me go! Hey! Stop touching me! You touch me again and I'll bite you!" Simon growled, now dangling from the long piece of wood held by the savages. "HELP ME!"

"See, we would like to, but..." Benji shrugged, looking at Miguel.

"I don't speak cannibal..." Miguel continued, emerald green eyes sparkling.

Erik watched as the cheering people carried his brother away. "Wait! We have to help him," he pleaded.

Benji looked shocked. "Why? I say this is a fitting end for him. They should've sent a poet..."

Much to his own dismay Erik pushed past Benji and ran after the cannibals. "WAIT!!! YOU CAN'T EAT HIM!!!"

"YEAH!! HE'S A RATHER UNSAVORY CHARACTER!" Jiro shouted, quickly following the attractive doctor.

"WE HAVE FRUITCAKE!" Benji yelled.

"NO WE DON'T, BENJI!"

Rin shrugged and ran after them. "YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT HIM! HE'S FULL OF S-"

"RIN!!!"

"WHAT!? I WAS GONNA SAY STARCH!"

Monroe was the last standing, looking confused. "Okay. Good! I'll... uh... watch the ship!"

"Hugglemuffins!" Berkeley shouted over the railing. "Hugglemuffins? Hey, you! Boy who tastes of sushi, where is my Hugglemuffin?"

Monroe looked up at the rabid person frothing at the mouth. "He went that way... after the cannibals... I taste like sushi?"

"Cannibals?"

"People who eat other people."

"I KNOW WHAT A CANNIBAL IS!!"

"Sorry..."

"THEY WENT THAT WAY!?"

"Yeah... that way... After the cannibals..." Monroe repeated, still trying to process the "why" of it.

With that Berkeley jumped down from the ship, landing on the sand like a cat, and began to give chase on all fours—again, like a cat, which was rather impressive.

"Why do they always go toward certain doom...?"

XXX

After shouting various things at the group of wild people for an hour the cannibals finally halted. They stopped cheering and glared toward the approaching pirates. "Click. Click. Clu."

"Wait... wa... Oh. They stopped." Erik panted. "You... can't... eat... brother..." he added before doubling over in exhaustion.

Jiro, who was right behind him, caught the doctor before he hit the ground and propped him up.

"...my hero..." Simon sighed.

"DAHHHHHHHH!!!" One of the cannibals shouted at the captive, waving a pointy stick.

"GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE!!"

The man with the stick looked offended by Simon's rudeness and began poking him. "Click. Click. Click."

"Ow. Ow. OW!"

By that point everyone else had caught up. Benji surveyed the scene as Miguel offered a hand with Erik. It was obvious the doctor didn't do much running; it was true he was very healthy, but was not as able-bodied as the rest of the crew.

Rin stopped and began laughing immediately. "How I'm going to enjoy holding this over his head. Assuming we get it back as a souvenir..."

After everyone was done fussing over him, Erik stepped forward. "Please, sirs, I can't let you take him," he said, gesturing to Simon.

The natives looked confused, some spit toward the crew, while others hissed.

"Very good, little brother. Now say: 'I'm small and defenseless so if you don't listen to me I'll sic my big, strong boyfriend on you. And you'll be sowwy..." Simon said mockingly. "Or you could try a more pathetic approach... OWWW! CAN IT, SMALLS!"

The "stick man" looked proud. "Click!"

Erik exhaled, trying to think of something to say. "Simon..."

Just then something rushed past them, it was so fast all they saw was a purple blur.

Benji blinked. "The hell?"

Click. Click. Click. Silence.

Simon sighed. "Correction... there goes my hero..."

Then it came back. "HUGGLEMUFFIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS!!!"

"Berkeley?"

The berserk man looked at the two groups and stood up. "The mousy one told me you came this way..."

The group of cannibals drew closer together and began "clicking" amongst themselves. Then as one they turned toward Berkeley, dropped Simon, and launched themselves at him.

"Crap..." was all Berkeley had time to say before he was dog piled.

The crew watched as Berkeley was slowly buried in cannibals. Benji looked shocked and began waving his arms at them. "NO! BAD! DON'T EAT HIM EITHER!"

Miguel gasped. "We have to save Berkeley!"

Simon rolled over to spit out some sand. "What about me?"

Jiro shrugged and nudged his partner away from Simon. "You have teeth don't you? Save yourself, you bastard..."

Erik tried to protest, but couldn't find a reason to help his brother at this point.

The crew began shoveling cannibals off of their friend, getting bit a few times, but still they pressed on in the hopes that Berkeley was still in one piece.

Which he was, they realized, once they got to the base of the pile. Actually he was completely unharmed. And he was... clicking?

"WHAT THE CRAP!?"

Berkeley looked at the pirates and shrugged. "I... um... guys... This is..." he began dusting himself off. "This is my tribe."

Miguel looked skeptical. "Berkeley's a cannibal?"

"We're not cannibals!" Berkeley protested.

Benji interjected next. "Then why were they making off with Simon? Not that I'm complaining..."

"HEY!" came the muffled cry of Simon who was chewing at his restraints.

"Hold on. I'll find out..." Berkeley said turning to his fellow rabids. "Click, click. Chlu. Click." Snap. "Clu....?"

A random tribe member replied. Clap. Snap. "Click."

"Click clu?"

"Gamma Muuuuuuu..."

"Ooooo..." Berkeley nodded.

Rin blinked at the conversation. "This is too weird..."

"Yeah, no kidding..." Benji added.

Miguel looked up at Benji. "Did you have any idea this was Berkeley's native island?"

"Nope. I just found out he came from an island. Let alone this island. It just a coincidence..."

"Or a plot device."

Finally Berkeley turned back to the crew, who gave him their full attention. "We have to let them take the angry one..."

"NO!" Erik shouted.

"Why do we have to, Berkeley?" Benji asked.

"Because he's the sacrifice," he explained as if it were obvious.

"I'm not following..."

"The sacrifice! It's tradition! If someone from my tribe finds their mate for life they must find a sacrifice to give to our volcano goddess on their wedding day so their bond will be eternal. And if the ceremony doesn't go as planned the couple is cursed as punishment. That's bad!"

"But why Simon?" Rin asked, intrigued by Berkeley's story.

"Oh, because they said he's a very pretty man. We like pretty men here..."

Snort. "Him?" Rin choked.

"SHUT-UP!" POKE! "WILL YOU CUT IT OUT, SMALLS!!?"

Erik's head sank. "What happens to a sacrifice exactly?"

"We throw him into the volcano and dance triumphantly. It's what we do..."

Benji looked at Erik, his stomach knotting up. "Fine... Berkeley. Can you convince them to let us talk to the bride? Maybe we can persuade her to get another sacrifice."

"Okay. I can try. Um... click. Click." Snap. "Click clu?"

The tribe shrugged, retrieved Simon, and began leading the crew toward their camp.

"Okay?"

Berkeley nodded. "Okay!"

"Not okay!" Simon yelled.

Benji smirked as everyone followed the tribe.

Miguel, who was still curious about things, ran up to Berkeley. "So, uh, Berkeley. Where is this exactly?"

"Here? Oh, this is Crazy Frog Island home of the Boom Boom Click tribe."

"The Boom Boom Click tribe of Crazy Frog Island..." Miguel repeated.

Benji smiled. "Wait'll Hiei hears about this..."

XXX

The Boom Boom Click Encampment

Once they arrived at the camp Benji realized just how outnumbered they were. About fifty to one. Some odds...

Even more so he saw the resemblance Berkeley had to the tribe. The neon-bright hair was a dead give away, but the mannerisms... It was too much.

The previous group had Simon set up in a cozy little cage now, but he didn't seem very grateful which had them puzzled.

Immediately after laughing at him Benji was prompted by Erik to go talk to the bride. He grudgingly obeyed. "Okay, Berks. Where'd they say the bride is?

Berkeley blushed slightly, enjoying his nickname. Benji had never given him a "real" nickname before. "Well... the hut's over there." He said and began leading Benji to it. "And the bride's not a.... it's more like a... like our ship."

"A gay marriage?"

"Uh-huh."

"The bride's a man-bride?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's a relief... I thought I'd have to talk to someone with boobies who's not Rin. And I haven't done that since Erik was dragged kicking and screaming from the closet."

"This is it!" said stopping at a random hut.

"You're coming too. I need you to translate."

"Right!"

"So do I knock... or…?"

"I'll do it...." Berkeley said walking up to the entrance of the hut, he began knocking.

A click from the inside indicated they could enter, or so Benji assumed because Berkeley went in.

It was a nice place, with a kitchen, or something. And a living room... he thought. Oh, but there was a bed. That Benji could recognize for what it was.

Someone was occupying the bed. An old man, with faded orange hair. He looked ill, which was why there was someone at his bedside caring for him. The man at the bed had his back turned to the pair; he had orange hair similar to the old man's only brighter and healthier. Perhaps a relative?

It seems they were having a serious conversation before they had arrived, but as soon as the old man noticed them he smiled and started "clicking" excitedly to the other man.

"Click-Chloo?" the younger man asked then whipped his head around to face them. The sapphire blue eyes snapped fire as he looked upon them.

Berkeley jumped back, clearly frightened.

"Is that...?" Benji asked slowly, the blue eyes sparking something in his memory.

Benji's suspicions were confirmed when the young man leaped at Berkeley knocking him to the ground as he began pummeling him. "DAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!"

Deciding to let Berkeley settle this in his own way Benji stepped over the cat fight and sat next to the bed. He looked up at the old man and said, "Two doubloons on Palavi..."

The old man nodded wisely and got out his money.

XXX

Palavi hadn't let down one bit, he was still pounding on Berkeley's chest, and it seemed endless. It was then that Berkeley decided he'd have to stop this. He grabbed the man's wrists and held them in place. "Enough! That hurts!"

"Good." Palavi said, through gritted teeth. "I hope it hurts a whole damn lot!"

"Can't we talk about this?"

"Fine. Let's talk." He said, emphasizing it by elbowing Berkeley in the stomach. That got his hands free and he scrambled to his feet.

Berkeley was having a harder time catching his breath, but made it to his feet all the same. "Palavi. I'm so sorry."

"Oh, I forgive you."

"Really?"

"NO! You sneaky rat bastard!"

Then the arguing began. It was a fun time for all.

"You didn't give me a choice! You're so pushy."

"You ran away!"

"You scared me!"

"I told you I loved you! That's what scared you so badly!?" Palavi growled, his face knotted with rage.

"You're scaring me now..."

"I waited for you to come back!"

"Clearly! Because it seems like you moved onto the next available guy to come along."

"You don't understand!"

"What don't I understand?"

Palavi looked over to the old man. They were, much to Benji's assumption, related. He was Palavi's father. The man shook his head and turned back to Berkeley. "It's complicated."

"Fine. Don't tell me. Just... I need a favor. The guy you're sacrificing at your ceremony. You can't sacrifice him. Please."

"No."

"Please! He's... very important to Benji's friend. It's his brother."

"Benji?" he looked over at the white-haired man, who waved. "I see."

"His best friend, Palavi. If he lets him down, then he won't be able to live with it. They're like... family."

Palavi looked at Berkeley and sighed deeply. "Okay. I'll find another."

"Thank you."

"Not for you. For him and his friend."

Berkeley sighed and turned to Benji and said in English. "He'll let the angry one go."

"Really? Cool." Benji smiled at Palavi.

Palavi half smiled, but it was something at least. They pair turned to leave, but before they made it out Palavi spoke again. "Aren't you going to ask me?"

Berkeley turned around to look at him again. The blue eyes were softer now and his expression was sad. The purple-haired man wanted to ask him something, but didn't feel the right to do so. Besides it wasn't what Palavi was implying. "Ask you what?"

"Who I'm marrying..."

"No."

Palavi sighed and turned away one last time, the spiral curls of his hair twisting sharply as he whipped his head to look forward. Benji had already left, since it was no use eavesdropping because he didn't understand the clicking. And Palavi's father was now fast asleep, which was probably for the best.

And now it was finally Berkeley's turn to leave. As he did, he came to see familiar face. But not one he'd hoped to see. He knew this man very well. Even three years hadn't changed his scowl to something more attractive. Which he was already, he didn't need the extra boost.

His hair was midnight black with touches of bright red; he had violet eyes, and a darkly tan complexion. He was also the rudest man Berkeley had ever met. And he knew Simon.

"Mikayl..." he said acidly. When Berkeley was growing up he and Mikayl had been inseparable, the best of friends, until one day Mikayl had decided that Berkeley wasn't necessary and that there were better friends he could have. It took him all about two seconds to ditch him.

From then on he became more greedy, self-absorbed, and rotten. He would even go out of his way to hurt Berkeley because deserting him didn't seem enough for him.

What he remembered, worst of all, was the day Palavi told him he loved him. He didn't want it to be his worst memory, but it was...

Palavi had obviously liked Berkeley for a while and when he finally got up the courage to speak to him, which was all it took until Palavi wouldn't leave him alone. All the while Mikayl was madly in love with Palavi, and voiced it often, but Palavi wasn't interested in him at all. He only had eyes for Berkeley.

Berkeley couldn't know he was in love with Palavi. He thought having the little boy following him around, giving him flowers, and trying to cling to him was annoying. He'd even given him a pet name. Hugglemuffins.

The world works in mysterious ways...

Every time he would try to shake the little pest he would keep coming back more persistent than ever. He was as determined to be with Berkeley as Mikayl was to hurt him.

That was why he hurt Palavi...

He'd always remember how he looked that day. His always smiling face adorned with bruises, every inch of him cut and bleeding. Mikayl had told Berkeley many times that Palavi "belonged" to him, like some kind of property, but he didn't know how far he would go.

He had asked Palavi to go out with him and Palavi refused. He said to him, "I love Berkeley. I always have and I know now that I always will. And I would rather die alone than with you." Apparently Mikayl didn't take it well...

Even so he came to Berkeley again that day, like so many days before. He was still smiling, caring, and beautiful. And he still loved Berkeley. And Berkeley could see now that he felt the same way.

But Berkeley was scared. He didn't want Palavi to be hurt anymore and he couldn't protect him.

So he hurt him in a way that Mikayl never could. Berkeley had seen it in Palavi's eyes just now. And it killed him to know it.

And it was all because of him.

Years of hatred just grew and grew from that point. Now just the mention of his Mikayl's name seemed like poison in his mind.

"What are you doing here?"

Mikayl just looked uninterested and didn't even bother answering. "Are you going to move?"

"I asked you a question."

"You still don't understand, do you? I keep telling you." He laughed coldly. "If I must tell you again then I will. Palavi's mine."

"He doesn't belong to you, Mikayl. You know he hates you as much as I do. And besides he's getting married to someone else in case you didn't hear."

"I did, actually." Mikayl shook his head mournfully. "It's a shame really."

"Yeah."

"I asked him to marry me."

"Really?"

"Several times."

"...Wow. That's very interesting..."

"And now that he's accepted I have to tolerate that sick old man until he dies. Hopefully sooner than later..."

"What!!?"

"Yes. I know. There's always a catch, but we all have our crosses to bear."

"You bastard! What did you do? Threaten him? His dad? What?"

"Didn't have to. He finally came to me and asked. He finally disillusioned himself into thinking you were the one he wanted. It's sad really. But it doesn't matter now. I won." And with that last sentiment he shoved Berkeley aside, entering Palavi's house.

Leaving Berkeley alone. Thinking about the mistake he'd made...

XXX

"Aww c'mon Simon. She's so cute! And she likes you..." Rin said in a singsong voice, hanging on the cage like a monkey.

Simon growled from his cage, glaring daggers at the crew. It had seemed he had made a new friend. A young three-year-old girl who was, coincidentally "Smalls" little sister. As far as they could tell she had somehow squeezed into the cage and attached herself to Simon.

And the "Boom Boom Click" were very literal about everything they did. This girl had genuinely fastened her mouth around Simon's hand and wouldn't let go. It was questionable if she liked him or was just teething. The content "clicking" wasn't enough to distinguish it.

"Hey! Watch it, shrimp..." the dark man grumbled, trying to shake her.

"Shrimp" retaliated by wrapping herself around his arm, giggling wickedly.

"I like shrimp! Who else likes shrimp?!" Rin asked loudly.

The group, despite the situation, was enjoying themselves. They were sitting around a bonfire in the center of the village, which was right next to Simon's prison oddly enough.

Erik was leaning on Jiro's shoulder, trying not to look worried about Simon. No matter how horrible he was, he was still family and that meant protecting him from the volcano. Even if it was what he deserved....

Miguel was getting to know the locals; Benji had guessed he was trying to build relations, or allies. He wasn't too confident in his "clicking" abilities, but he figured out the basics of communication. His audience was nodding wildly and looking generally impressed. At least Benji hoped they were impressed and not just hungry instead.

Berkeley, looking very distraught, finally came to the group and sat down next to Benji.

"So... how'd it go?" the chipper captain asked.

The rabid man shook his head, looking tired. He said something inaudible then buried his head in his arms.

"Oh... you wanna talk about it?"

"No..." came his muffled reply. "When are we leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning if repairs go as planned." Benji shrugged.

"Good..."

No one had any idea what was going on between Berkeley and Benji, at this point they didn't want to get involved, but they were still curious.

"Can somebody get me out of this cage?" Simon moaned.

Jiro turned to the cage and thought about it. "Anyone got a muzzle?"

Simon growled, searching for a rock to throw at Jiro, mumbling profanities under his breath. It seemed the locals were getting bored with this show and decided to go retrieve the key.

"CLICK!!!!"

Berkeley looked around, perking up a bit. "What's...?"

There was a loud racket, from where no one could tell, but it was becoming closer.

"CLICK!" SNAP! "CLICK!" SNAP!

The group kept searching for the distressed "clicking", even the men at the cage looked about.

"Who cares? Let me out, you freaks!"

Suddenly a large, very angry man emerged for the bushes and he was marching toward the group of pirates. Berkeley tilted his head in awe at Mikayl as he saw what the source of the "clicking" actually was.

Attached to Mikayl's arm was Palavi. The orange-haired man had his feet in the sand, trying to stop the juggernaut, but failing miserably as he was being dragged along. He was screaming various things and hitting Mikayl's back with one fist still trying in vain to halt the larger man.

"Palavi?" Berkeley asked as they got into earshot. Palavi didn't seem to notice anything as he was flung to the ground by Mikayl.

Palavi growled angrily at him and began "clicking" again, this time hitting the sand with his fist. "Click, click, clu. Chloo, click, clu!"

Mikayl shrugged off the protests and kept to his mission.

Palavi looked up at Berkeley and shook his head, knowing he wasn't getting through Mikayl's thick head. He sighed and ran over to Mikayl, this time blocking Simon's cage with his body, shaking his head violently. "CLICK!"

"What are they going on about!?" Simon yelled at Berkeley.

Suddenly Mikayl snatched the key from the guards and "clicked" something at them, angrily waving his arms.

Palavi frowned and tried to get the key back, but the other man quickly threw him over his shoulder and carried him away without another click.

Except on Palavi's end, who was not happy at all; he was beating on Mikayl's back and screaming what the crew believed to be curses.

"Click-Chloo! Click-Chloo! Click-Chloo!" he yelled desperately at Berkeley as they disappeared from sight.

"What the hell just happened, Berkeley!?" Erik asked angrily. "I thought they were letting him go!"

"He was. Palavi said he'd find someone else, but from what I can tell Mikayl disagrees."

"Shouldn't he have a club or something...?" Rin growled, clearly disturbed by what just transpired.

Erik ignored this and immediately went back to Berkeley. "Well... make him un-disagree!"

"I can't!" Berkeley yelled back at the doctor. "He won't listen to me!"

The crew sighed collectively.

Benji had a plan, though. "Jiro, you take Erik back to the Archangel. You can help Monroe repair the ship. Me, Rin, Miguel, and Berkeley will stay put. As soon as ceremony starts tomorrow and everyone is distracted we'll bust Simon out. We'll meet you back at the ship and make a clean getaway..."

Erik nodded. "Okay... But if you don't bring him back-"

Benji smiled. "I know." And with that Jiro and Erik took off toward the trees. Benji turned back to the rest of his crew and asked, "Where'd Berkeley go?"

The question was rhetorical. He knew where Berkeley was.

XXX

Palavi's Hut

When Berkeley arrived at Palavi's place he didn't bother knocking, he barged right in. "Palavi!" he shouted, looking around, but it seemed that no one was here. Except for Palavi's father who was sitting in his bed drinking tea.

"Oh... sorry. I thought Palavi would be here." he sighed as the old man smiled at him.

"Don't worry about it. Come in and have some tea."

"Erm... thanks, but it's really important that I find Palavi."

"Tea first then I will tell you where my son is..." the old man smirked evilly.

It had seemed that being sick had only weakened his body, but his mind was still as sharp as a blade.

"Right. Tea." Berkeley said fumbling with the kettle. When he finally prepared the tea successfully he joined the old man. "Thank you, Donuha."

"Who?"

"Donuha. That's your name."

"It is?"

"Yes. Don't you remember?"

"Boy, I am old. How do you expect me to remember something so trivial?" he said, sipping his tea.

"Uh..."

Perhaps his mind was only as sharp as a marble.

"Well don't just sit there with your mouth agape. Tell me what's on your mind."

"It's about your son. He's marrying someone who is perhaps the worst man on this island. I have to stop him!"

"Palavi's marrying a man?" Donuha asked, flabbergasted.

"Er..."

"Well I suppose that's okay."

"Sir, did you even know Palavi's getting married?"

"He's my son! Of course I know he's getting married."

"But you just... DAH! I'm sorry, but are you going to tell me where he went or not?"

"Who?"

"Are you seriously kidding me?"

"No, your name is Berkeley. Geez, what kind of person doesn't even remember their own name? Young-un's these days..."

"I'm not a-"

"Oh yes you we're such a nice little boy. Always looking out for my Palavi. You're all he'd talk about all day long."

"Yeah?"

"It was annoying, but sweet."

Berkeley nodded. "I thought so too."

"But now he's marryin' that Mikayl. I thought Palavi didn't like him, I don't like him, nobody really likes him... Why would he marry someone he didn't like?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

"I always thought he would marry that Berkeley kid."

"Um?"

"Yeah he really liked him. I just saw him the other day. I hope he and my son make up."

Berkeley laughed. "Maybe I'll tell Berkeley that."

"But you are Berkeley. What's with kid's talking in the third person these days?"

"I'm going to go find Palavi now..."

"Oh, he went to that little clearing in the jungle. He always goes there."

"Really? Thanks."

"What for? Who are you?"

"Berkeley."

"Oh that's nice..."

Berkeley smiled and left the old man to his tea.

"What a nice boy..." he chuckled once Berkeley had left. "And so gullible too."

XXX

Back at the Archangel

When Erik and Jiro arrived back at the ship, Monroe was already hard at work on the repairs.

The blonde-haired youth looked up from his patchwork to greet his comrades. "Oh, hello. I'm glad that you weren't eaten by the cannibals. I didn't know if you were coming back at all, but I thought I'd fix the hole just in case you did. And you did, so yay!" Monroe cheered.

Jiro couldn't help but chuckle a little bit and this prompted Erik to do the same despite the day he'd been having.

"Need any help?" the chaplain asked tapping the boards.

"Erm... you don't have to..."

Jiro smiled. He really didn't want it to look like he was taking pity on the guy, but he did get left out of most things, and the rest of the time he was ignored. "I want to. Even though it looks like you've got it covered. You're quite the handyman, Monroe. Any more hidden talents you're hiding from us?"

Monroe blushed, "I don't think so..." and shyly got back to work.

Erik rolled his eyes. He knew what Jiro was doing with that "winning smile" of his. "Alright then, boys. Since I'm of no use here, I'll go see what I can do about provisions. If I'm not back in an hour..." he said, eyes narrowing to Jiro. "You'd better come find me."

"Don't worry. I will." Jiro said reassuringly as he kissed his partner's cheek.

"I mean it! If I die in there-"

"If you want me to come with you I'd be more than happy to."

"No... I'm actually getting sick of you."

"Really?"

"Oh, yes, it's true." Erik laughed to himself as he scaled the ship, heading for the store room.

"One... Two..." Jiro counted down as the seconds went by. "Two and a half... Three."

"Ya know. I'm pretty much done here." Monroe looked up at him, sympathetically. "It's been thirty seconds already, Erik could be in serious danger right now and without you he's a goner..."

Jiro laughed. "Monroe?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't wait up for me." Jiro smirked getting that glint in his eye as he took off after the doctor.

Monroe shook his head, nailing another board to his patch. "Boys will be boys..."

If he didn't love being around the crazy, star-crossed pirates so much he'd be really jealous. Okay, so he was still a little jealous, but...

Okay, he was really jealous!

That didn't matter because his soul mate was out there too. He just hadn't found him yet and seeing so much love around it was hard not to believe that such a thing as "True Love" didn't exist.

So he didn't mind being jealous. It was only going to be temporary, right?

XXX

By the time Jiro found Erik, the latter was already hard at work, taking inventory of what food they had in storage and making notes of what he recommended they pick up at the next port. He barely looked up when Jiro entered; Jiro seemed to take this as both a challenge and a personal insult.

The corner of his mouth quirking up in a mischievous smirk, the chaplain came quietly up behind his lover and wrapped his arms around the thin waist, asking softly, "What̀cha doin'?"

"Working," Erik replied flatly. "And you could help."

Jiro snorted. "Could I? Could I really?" He tightened his arms around Erik, dropping feather-light kisses onto his neck. "And…is that really what you want me to be doing with my time?"

Erik drew in a shaky breath. "Y-yes. Yes, i-it is."

Jiro sighed and dropped his hands back to his sides. "You're no fun. Okay, what can I do to help?"

"Um…" Erik looked around. "Help me get this stuff in order. We have absolutely no system of organization down here…it drives me crazy… Let's start with the flour. We can stack all the sacks in that back corner."

"Yessir."

Erik chuckled and reached for the first bag, as Jiro grabbed another. It all went very smoothly until the pile grew taller than Erik; as he reached up to place the last sack on the top, it burst open, covering him in white. He stood there for a moment, his eyes wide behind his flour-covered glasses as though he couldn't believe what had just happened, then coughed; a cloud of white rose in the air in front of him as he did so.

Jiro clapped a hand over his mouth, but was completely unsuccessful in muffling the wild laughter that was determined to escape. Erik glared at him as he took his glasses off and tried to clean them on his equally filthy shirt.

"I-I'm sorry…you…you just… God, you're a mess!"

"Oh, gee, really? You don't say! Why, I'm just shocked!"

This only made Jiro laugh harder as he moved towards Erik. "Here, lemme help…"

Erik raised his eyes as Jiro came closer, and there was no mistaking what that glint in them meant… Unfortunately, the glint went unnoticed by Jiro, and his obliviousness earned him a face full of flour.

Jiro stood there for a moment, frozen just as Erik had been a moment ago, and listened to Erik laugh hysterically. God, I love that sound.

Erik's laughter faded slowly, and he slowly straightened from where he'd been bent over and clutching his sides, only to find Jiro staring at him. It was one of those stares that had always used to terrify Erik—the ones that pinned him down and refused to let him look away, that swallowed him whole and made him feel like he was losing himself and finding himself at the same time.

"Jiro? What's…what's wrong?" Erik asked hesitantly.

Jiro smiled slightly, reaching up to trace his lover's cheek with his fingertip. "You're so beautiful."

The blush on the doctor's face was evident even through the white that caked it. "I'm covered in flour!"

The smile grew a bit larger. "Doesn't matter." His fingers left Erik's cheek to thread through his hair, and he whispered, "C'mere…"

Erik did so willingly, giving himself over completely to the kiss that followed. Almost before he noticed, Jiro had pulled him onto the floor and pinned him between his arms, pushing more and more into the kiss, until Erik's head started to spin and a watery feeling in his knees made him glad that he was already lying down.

They barely managed to get their shirts off before they were interrupted.

"Ahem."

Jiro looked up, Erik coming back to himself commendably quickly and following his gaze. Benji stood in the doorway, his hands on his hips, with Miguel standing behind him and emitting disturbingly high-pitched giggles.

"There are beds on this ship, you know. The storeroom was not made for this."

Jiro blinked and looked down at the dazed man in his arms. "…He's right. C'mon."

And he pulled Erik to his feet and dragged him, stumbling and bemused, to his cabin.

XXX

Somewhere in the Jungle

It hadn't taken Berkeley long to find the clearing. It was where he used to play as a child, the only reason Palavi knew about it was because he had followed him there dozens of times.

"Palavi, are you here?" Berkeley called out, hoping that the orange-haired man wasn't hiding from him.

"I am," came Palavi's unsteady voice. "Just don't come over here, okay?"

Berkeley ignored him and walked toward him anyways. "No."

"Please go away." The trees began to rustle as Palavi was now moving farther away. "I can't save your friend. I'm sorry. Please just leave me alone..."

"That's not why I'm here, Palavi."

The trees stood still for a moment and Berkeley spotted the brush of orange hair in the distance. He had stopped trying to get away, now he just sunk to the ground, wrapping his arms around his legs. "Don't look at me..."

"Palavi..." Berkeley said softly as he walked closer to the huddled mass. He knelt next to the shaking form, stroking the olive-tinted arms wrapped around equally bronzed legs.

"I don't know what to do, Berkeley." He cried softly.

"Your father's... really sick, huh?"

"He's dying... and I can't help him." Palavi wept, leaning on Berkeley for support now, but not un-curling from his previous position. "I feel so helpless."

"Shh... it's not your fault." Berkeley whispered, hoping for a way to console his friend.

"His dying wish is to see me get married. He's all I have left... I can't let him down."

"Is that why you're marrying Mikayl?"

"Yes."

"There... This can't be your only option. Isn't there another way?"

"It's too late. I spent too much time pining and by the time I realized my father was on his last stride everyone had gone. They all have families now, happy families, and Mikayl was my last... only resort." Palavi stifled another sob and coughed. "I have to."

"No, you don't." Berkeley prompted, un-winding Palavi from his protective ball. At first he caught a glimpse of the tear-soaked face before Palavi turned away again.

"Don't." His hands wrapped around his form again, this time tighter than the last. His long hair hung loose about his shoulder's making him look childish.

"Palavi." Berkeley said softly, touching a shoulder. "Leave with me and Benji's crew. You'll be happier with us. The brig's big enough for the two of us. We even have a swimming pool."

"I can't leave my father here. And this is my home... I've never been anywhere else. The world is too big and I do not wish to leave. Please don't ask me this..."

Berkeley sighed.

"Would you stay with me?"

"No, I'm not staying. When I left, I was ready to go." Berkeley said, "And I never wanted to come back..."

"Then go. I'm not stopping you."

"No, wait. I didn't mean that!" Berkeley shouted. "You have to believe that I'd never want to hurt you. I can't let Mikayl hurt you either." He moved to face Palavi, this time forcing the young man to look at him. "Oh..."

Palavi looked up at Berkeley, completely shaken. The surface around Palavi's right eye was marred by a swollen black and purple bruise. The crying had only made it worse as both his eyes were now bloodshot. Berkeley thought how stupid he was that he didn't notice it before when Palavi had pleaded him not to look.

"He did this to you?"

"Don't-"

"Didn't he!?"

Palavi clenched his burning eyes shut. "I'm tired. Please take me home."

"Palavi, no."

"Then I'll take myself. I'd gotten this far without your help. Why not go the whole way?"

"No... I mean...." Berkeley sighed, picking up Palavi in his arms. "You need a doctor to look at that."

As he started to carry him, Palavi wanted to get away, but he didn't move. He didn't say anything. Instead he nuzzled into the embrace and let Berkeley tote him through the jungle.

"Hey Palavi?" Berkeley inquired quietly.

"Hmm?" Palavi murmured, absentmindedly brushing his knuckles across Berkeley's arm.

"Do you remember what you used to call me? Back when we were kids."

"Ugh... You'd ask me something that embarrassing? Now?"

"Why not?"

"Yes, but I find it's hardly worth mention."

"C'mon... it's not that bad."

"I was but a child then. I've grown up."

Berkeley laughed because he'd always thought that Palavi looked young for his age. Perhaps it was his face; all of the features of it were too small, except for his eyes; in that regard were way too big. It was a face that you could find exotically beautiful or hate it entirely. For Berkeley it was the latter of course. "It's only been three years."

"Long enough and I'm not saying it."

"You may have 'grown up', but your still as stubborn as ever." Berkeley chuckled.

"I hate you..." Palavi glowered.

"Heh heh... liar."

"Look at my face. Do you detect a lie? Hmm?"

"Ah..." Berkeley didn't want to look at Palavi's face, at least not now; it made him angry to do so. However, that wasn't Palavi's fault, so look he did. "It's a very stern face. And do I detect a wrinkle? I mean I know you said you've grown, but Palavi just how old did you get?"

"And I repeat." The orange-haired man growled. "I hate you."

"Wow. How very straight from the heart you are."

Palavi didn't respond to the remark, instead he closed his eyes, and rested his head on Berkeley's chest. "You've grown too. Stronger, kinder, and... with so many friends. True friends." He mused. "I am jealous."

"Why?"

"Because..." Palavi giggled. "They mean more to you than I do."

"That's not-"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make judgments. It's just that..." Palavi looked up at Berkeley; his eyes were clear as day now. The brilliant sapphire's making their first real appearance.

No longer dulled by anger or sorrow, they were at last the same eyes that Berkeley remembered, beautiful. "I've been waiting so long. It was only when I stopped believing you'd come back that you really did. But what hurts the most is that you didn't come for me at all."

"It's true." Berkeley wanted the least to see that hurt in Palavi's eyes again, but lying to him would be worse. "At first."

"I don't understand."

Berkeley sighed and came to a sudden halt. He carefully lowered Palavi onto the ground at the base of a tree. That way he could face him directly as he spoke to him. "I'd forgotten everything I'd ever wanted when I left this place behind. Left you behind. I put you aside and found everything I'd ever wanted. I was able to forget all about you and I never even thought about you for years. Until yesterday..." Berkeley smiled too embarrassed to continue.

"Now I really don't understand..." Palavi said, disappointedly.

"When I saw you again." Berkeley reflected, affectionately brushing Palavi's long curls behind his ear. "I remembered how much I..."

Palavi blushed deeply, touching his cheek where Berkeley had brushed his hand across it.

"Oh for God's sakes! Why is this so freaking hard to say!?" Berkeley groaned. "I love you. Okay? I love you!"

Palavi's expression was a mix of confusion and excitement as he mulled it over. That is before he suddenly burst into tears again.

"Dah! Please don't cry, Palavi!" Berkeley cried desperately trying to console him. But Palavi didn't let up so he did the only thing he could think to do.

Berkeley cupped his hand under Palavi's chin and closed the distance between them, literally and figuratively, as his mouth pressed tightly over Palavi's.

Palavi's shoulders tensed for a brief moment before he quickly leaned into the kiss, his hands sliding up Berkeley's chest.

Berkeley smiled slightly, knowing this time for sure that Palavi had never even thought of kissing another man...

Because of how terrible he was at it. He would never tell him that though he'd hoped that he'd get better at it. "That was... um..." Berkeley murmured.

"Am I a bad kisser...?"

"No."

"I am. This isn't how I imagined it at all..."

"Don't worry about it. You'll get it eventually. It takes practice for some people."

"One more chance?" Even though he asked permission Palavi didn't wait to hear if he'd actually gotten it before he pulled Berkeley down for another kiss.

This time was a lot better, Berkeley thought, maybe a little positive enforcement was all Palavi needed.

As the kiss continued Berkeley pulled lightly at Palavi's shirt, marveling at the exposed caramel skin, and began kissing Palavi's neck.

"I love you," Palavi said breathlessly.

Berkeley stopped for a moment to smile at him. However when Palavi looked back at him Berkeley saw something in his face so doubtful. "What's wrong?"

Palavi's eyes adverted to the ground shyly. "I..."

"Was it something I did? Said? You can tell me, Palavi."

"You can start by telling me what you're doing with your hands all over my bride!" Rang Mikayl's angry voice.

By Palavi's shocked expression Berkeley had confirmed it before he'd actually seen for himself. "Damn it..."

"Palavi! Get over here, now..." Mikayl ordered in a very dangerous voice.

Palavi's eyes closed as he thought about what to do next, then they quickly snapped open when he reached a verdict he liked, which could've easily been a grave one for the both of them. "No."

"Excuse me? I believe I just gave you an order."

Berkeley sighed and turned to face the cold amethyst eyes. "He said no. And I don't think you're in the right to be making orders."

Mikayl chuckled darkly. "That's not what I wanted to hear... So I'll just pretend I didn't. Palavi, let's go."

"I don't want to go with you." The impish man said hesitantly. "I... want to stay with Berkeley."

"As if he's been so reliable to you in the past."

"That doesn't matter." Palavi started to rise from where he had been sitting, placing a vacant hand on Berkeley's shoulder. Berkeley, all the while was ready to step in if things got ugly, which they would and it wouldn't be pleasant. "He's here now."

"I don't care where he is! We're getting married tomorrow whether you want to or not. You made your decision."

"Yeah, I did. I just said quite clearly that I want to stay with Berkeley. And you'd actually have to have my agreement to marry you. It's the law."

Mikayl snorted angrily, not taking this turn of events well, and lunged toward the pair. "I'm giving you one minute to change your mind before I change it for you..."

"Threaten away. There's nothing you can do to me that would be worst than what you've already done." Palavi scoffed.

"Believe it. Because you haven't even seen the worst yet."

Berkeley just watched the two go back and forth, getting angrier by the second. He didn't know if Palavi even knew what he was getting them into. He'd just hoped he wasn't trying to get them killed. Mikayl was, as much as he didn't want to admit it, strong. Frighteningly strong. He'd pretty much avoided fighting him his whole life.

"Five... Four..." Mikayl started counting, taking one step closer to Palavi as he did, thinking it made him scarier. It only worked in theory, but it got the point across. "Thee.... Two..."

And just as he was a breadth away from knocking Palavi's face into the sand, Berkeley stepped up just in time to block Mikayl's blow, and push him back a couple paces. "You touch him again and I'll make you wish you didn't."

"Only words to my ears. Let's see if you can back them up..." Mikayl smirked, getting into his fighting stance.

As Berkeley went to do the same Palavi grabbed onto his arm, trying to pull him away. "You don't have to do this!"

"What?" Berkeley grinned and kissed the man's forehead. "Defending your honor is something I've always wanted to do." Secretly thinking to himself, But missed out on...

With that last regard Palavi backed off to the sidelines. Berkeley knew Palavi couldn't fight Mikayl, he wasn't nearly strong enough... Besides Berkeley thought that he, himself, had more of a chance.

But before he had a moment to think on it any more he received a face-full of Mikayl's fist. He fell to the ground and caught himself by sprawling across the ground on all fours. "That's just like you, Mikayl." He spat.

"Stop talking."

"Oh, right. I forgot you're beyond intelligent conversation." Berkeley growled, jumping back to his feet. He punctuated his anger by punching the giant in the stomach and leaping by before his opponent could get another hit in.

It was amazing how quickly Mikayl recovered as he grabbed Berkeley head and hit it with his own and then kicked Berkeley directly in the chest sending him spinning to the ground.

If he wasn't too busy seeing stars, he would have seen Mikayl going for his throat, but by the time he came to he was being raised in the air and thrown over his opponent's head into a tree.

And if that pain wasn't enough he was picked up again and tossed into yet another tree.

For a moment he could hear Palavi call out to him and Mikayl laughing horribly, but then it was only the blood rushing in his head.

He could vaguely remember Palavi rushing to his side as he swam between consciousness and "la la land".

He couldn't mistake the warm hands resting under his head and the gentle voice speaking to him, could he?

And when he finally came to it was exactly what he had hoped to see.

Good thing those blows to the head didn't give me brain damage.

"Berkeley, are you alright?" The vision of Palavi was accompanied by words now. Which gave him reassurance that Mikayl didn't kill him, or rather he was really really really dead.

"Yeah, I'm good, and I'm not done yet." Berkeley said stumbling to his feet.

"Are you sure you really want to do that?"

"Positive."

"Wouldn't it be easier to just run away... again?"

"After what you did to him? No way."

"I went easy on him." Mikayl smirked, glancing at Palavi, who turned his head in disgust. "Though next time I'll try to avoid that pretty little face."

"I can't imagine someone as vain as you giving their bride a black eye the day before his wedding..." Berkeley added darkly.

"What better way to let everyone know who's in control?"

At that point Berkeley would've done anything to shut him up. The best way he could think how to do this was to punch him in the throat. So he immediately aimed to do so.

And missed. He didn't hit his throat, but he did get a good shot as his jaw. Which made him growl like angry bear. Swinging wildly and utterly missing Berkeley each time. The purple-haired man had lots of dodging practice while aboard the Archangel. Though he did not know why Benji called it "Target Practice"...

Frustrated Mikayl picked up a large stick and began swinging that at Berkeley with little improvement. Berkeley was really just playing with him now, dodging, and tiring him out enough to make another hit. This process went on for another few minutes before Berkeley caught hold of the stick and held it still long enough to get two consecutive blows to Mikayl's face.

Finally Berkeley was able to wrestle the stick away from him and throw it aside. Without his weapon Mikayl froze long enough for Berkeley to keep his advantage and hit Mikayl's chest with a massive blow.

This had only slowed him down, but his punches were becoming more wild and inconsistent. Berkeley had won. He looked to Palavi, the "real" love of his life, as if to say. "I did it."

"Berkeley, look out!" Palavi screamed.

It was too late.

A sharp blade made a home in Berkeley shoulder, it stung as he ripped it out, and tossed it to ground. He ignored the pain as he turned to his rival. He was still very tired from the previous bought, yet who knew he would come so prepared?

Berkeley would wipe that smirk off his face once and for all. And with one final blown to his skull, his opponent fell, and soon after that so did he...

"Berkeley!" came the frightened voice of Palavi. Through blurry vision he could see him, barely...

"Palavi, don't cry anymore, or I'll have to kiss you again." Berkeley laughed, he couldn't feel much where the blade hit him, which probably wasn't a good thing, but it could've just meant he was super human.

"Oh my God. The blood... I need to get you a doctor. Berkeley, stay awake. I'm going to get help. Whatever you do don't go to sleep!" the voice cried. He felt the pressure of cloth on his shoulder and something propping up his head, but vision was fading in and out.

"You should get Benji. He'd know what to do." Berkeley coughed. "He's like... Jesus... or somethin'..."

"Oh, you're delirious..." The colors were blending together: blue, orange, olive, green... "Just... Please, don't die!"

Then there was the sound of footfalls in the sand.

Then nothing at all. Black nothingness.

Don't die... okay... I think I can manage that...

XXX

Back at the camp the crew was bored to tears. Long since the prospect of torturing Simon became old they began playing cards, which of course, Miguel won each hand.

"I'm sick of this game," Simon grumbled.

"Well then what do you want to play?" Rin asked in annoyance.

At that, Simon grinned. "Five card draw. Winner gets all the, erm... shells, loser gives up all his shells and cooks for the next week, starting after we get off of this island." He smirked. "You in?"

To everyone, but Benji's surprise, Miguel was the first to grin and say, "Deal me in."

Rin opened her mouth, but Benji shook his head. "You don't wanna get in on this, Rin. Trust me."

The game went on uninterrupted all though several natives were now gathered around Simon's cage watching expectantly.

Simon had always prided himself on his poker face, but he had quickly learned that Miguel, usually so prone to facial expression, had an excellent one, as well.

"Okay, if you've got this beat, I'll eat my own head," Simon announced, showing his cards.

Miguel stared at the cards, blinking. "Wow... that... is an amazing hand, Simon. You really are very good..."

Simon smirked.

"But... you're just not good enough."

"...What?'

"By your leave, Mr. Tavadon?" Smiling, Miguel laid down his cards. "Straight royal flush. Read 'em and weep. Very, very pretty."

"Ah, you got him with the pretty hand... as usual, right, Miguel?" Seeing the others' puzzled looks, he explained, "That's how he learned to play poker. He just arranged the hand so that he thought it looked pretty and won every time. Now that he knows how to play the game, he creams us on the rare occasion that we can pluck up the courage to play against him."

Simon growled and threw his cards at them.

Benji laughed out loud as Miguel swept all the shells toward himself. "Told you that you didn't wanna play against him, Rin."

"Thanks for that," Rin replied. "Alright. So you guys can play poker. But can you play Red Dog?" she asked evilly as 'Bad to the Bone' started playing. Everyone looked around trying to find the source of the sound. "Eddie. Put that away," she said to Eddie as he tried to sheepishly hide his electric ukulele.

"Anyone in?" she asked shuffling the cards. "And just so ya know. I've never lost," she said shuffling the deck. "Any takers?"

"How do you play?" Miguel asked curiously, eager to try a new game. He would probably lose--he had lost his first poker game, too--but that didn't mean he wouldn't try.

"Well first we gotta ante up. You can bet anything from the very least the ante or up to the entire pot..."

Dealing out five cards to Miguel, Benji, Simon and herself. "Alrighty boys. Let's do this thing," she said with a wicked grin.

Sadly, it was not to be. As a very frantic Palavi came running toward them, sweating profusely, with his hands covered in dried blood.

He ran directly to Benji and grabbed his arm, trying to pull him along, clicking in the native tongue.

"What?" Benji sighed, staying put.

Palavi heaved and gesturing to the jungle. "Eh...?"

"Miguel?"

"Yeah, I don't know either."

When it looked like Palavi was about to give up, he fell to his knees and laced his fingers together in a pleading gesture. "H..Hawp... Pwease. Hawp."

"Okay, I know what that means!" Benji shouted, jumping up. "Help where?"

Palavi sighed, very relieved now and took off toward the clearing, where Berkeley was hopefully keeping to his word.

XXX

Thankfully when they arrived Berkeley was awake, but not even close to fine. Benji crouched beside his limp body as Palavi placed his head gently on his lap.

Berkeley looked up at Benji and giggled slightly. "Heh heh. You're like a hamster... or a lizard... or a dolphin or something."

Benji shook his head and looked at Miguel. "We have to get him back to the ship. It's the only way..."

Palavi looked up at Benji expectantly awaiting orders. "Hawp Click-Chloo?"

"Yes. Help... Click-Chloo," Benji said attempting his first try at the "click" language. Palavi nodded to him as he took up the fallen warrior into his arms.

Palavi ran his hand over Berkeley's face as he began to move away.

Only moments later Benji heard the scream and saw the very large man from before. He had one arm around Palavi's shoulders and the other over his neck.

Of course Benji and Miguel were ready to defend him in any way they could, but Berkeley...

Palavi shook his head at them, pleading again. "No. Go! Hawp Click-Chloo!"

Benji hated to leave him there at the mercy of the man he assumed tried to kill Berkeley, but he had responsibility to his crew.

And his family always came first...

XXX

Jiro sighed inwardly as he felt Erik stirring against him, instinctively tightening his hold; he didn't want to let the doctor up. He wanted to wake up with him in the morning, for once.

He forced his eyes open, and was immediately disoriented. The sun was just beginning to climb into the sky, painting the horizon varying hues of yellow, orange and pink, and Erik was just beginning his first movements of the morning.

Jiro blinked, then felt a small smile start on his face as memories of the night before came back. The smile soon became ridiculously giddy laughter, and next to him, Erik's brow furrowed and he awoke, staring at Jiro as though seriously frightened for his sanity.

"Morning," Jiro said quietly, the laughter fading.

"Mmm…morning," Erik replied, snuggling happily back to Jiro's side and resting his head on his chest. He sighed heavily. "I have to get up."

Jiro's hold tightened. "No, you don't."

"Yes I do. At least, I do if we ever wanna get out of here. Benji's gonna need some help."

Jiro snorted. "Benji always needs help. Of all kinds."

"…True." Erik gave one more regretful sigh and pushed himself up, starting to search for his clothes.

Jiro watched him for a moment, then reached out to tug on his arm, pulling him into a long, slow kiss. Erik didn't pull away, but reciprocated happily, only pulling away when both started to run out of oxygen. Jiro smiled slightly, and shoved at him lightly. "Go on. Get out of here, you bum. Get off your lazy ass and do some work for once, good God."

Erik burst into laughter and reached for his shirt. "Yessir."

"ERIK!!!!"

"Benji!!" Erik screamed, trying in vain to cover himself. "Get the out of my room!"

"It's my ship and I can go anywhere I waaaaa... Oh... MY... GOD!!! Naked, naked Erik!" Benji screeched, shielding his eyes. "Oh my freaking God! Naked Jiro!"

"Benji?" Miguel rushed into the room, poking his lover rapidly. "Benji are you okay!?"

Benji suddenly grabbed hold of Miguel's shoulders, leaning very close to his face; he withdrew a fork from his pocket and held it up to eye-level. "I want you to take this... Take it and drive it through my brain!"

"Benji no..."

Finally managing to get his clothes on Erik joined in the conversation again. "Benji, what do you want!?"

Benji turned to the doctor, nearly sobbing. "I want Miguel to drive this through my brain..." he whined in a nasally voice.

Erik groaned and smacked Benji's forehead. "Before that!"

"Oh... I need you to fix it!" the captain explained. He ran out to the deck to retrieve the patient so he could show him to Erik.

Erik looked down at Berkeley and pondered what his next course of action would be. Without another word he picked up the "thing" and threw it overboard.

"DAAAAHHH!!!" Benji screamed. "Erik! What did you doooooo!? He could die out there!"

Erik blinked down at the body floating in the water. "I would, but I'm too paralyzed with not caring very much..."

Jiro suddenly came up behind the crew, also fully clothed, and turned to Erik disapprovingly. "Erik! Go and get him!"

"Fine..." Erik sighed, preparing to jump in the water to save Berkeley. Then, just as he was about to jump he shoved Benji into the water instead. "Benji go get him! Then bring him to the infirmary. I need a new test subject anyways..."

"I HATE YOU!" Benji bellowed from shallow waters. "And now I'm all wet..."

Miguel looked over the edge of the rail as Erik went to go prepare his station. "Don't worry, Benji. I'll get you something dry to put on."

Jiro looked at Miguel and shrugged. It really was just too easy...

SPLASH!!!

"Jiiiiiirrrooooooooooo!" Miguel whined, completely soaked to the bone. "Karma! That's all I'll say to you, my friend. Karma, karma, karma!"

"I don't believe in karma!" Jiro smiled, peering at the red-head pirate as he swam to shore.

"Ooooh... But it believes in you."

"You're not making sense."

It was Benji's turn to reply now, handing Jiro Berkeley's unconscious body. "He rarely does."

Miguel nodded. "Nearly never."

"Uh-huh." Benji shrugged.

"Nope."

Jiro rolled his eyes. "You people need help..."

XXX

The Archangel Infirmary

Berkeley stared forlornly out the window as the dark waves rolled by. It had been a couple hours since the fight and he awoke to something unpleasant...

Pain.

It wasn't something he'd experienced often. It had dulled down some now, but every now and again it would rear its ugly head and say, "Hey, I'm Paul and I will be your pain today." Needless to say Berkeley didn't like Paul...

"I'd like to make your life Hell for the next five hours, leave you alone for two seconds, and then come back with a vengeance! Maybe I should invite some friends, watching you cringe is only entertaining the first hundred times... Oh, who am I kidding? Bring on the cringe! Woo hoo!"

"Owww..." Berkeley added in the most agonized way he could muster.

The door to the infirmary opened and closed. A bag of ice landed on his bed and the patient looked up to see Benji who was chuckling.

It was Benji who had brought him back to the ship to make sure that Erik took a look at his injuries. He was grateful, but that didn't stop him from being annoyed at the captain for laughing at him.

Though he was puzzled about the rest. He wanted Palavi by his side, but for some reason he was absent.

Seeing that Berkeley ignored his kind gesture, the captain picked up the bag of ice, and put it on Berkeley's face. "Sooooo... Are you okay?"

"No. I think I'm missing DNA. Or parts of my bone. My stomach feels all funny..." Berkeley growled, picking up the ice, and dropping it back on the bed.

"Being in Erik's care will do that to ya. So! Are you... in pain?" Benji asked, playfully retrieving the ice, he began to play catch with it.

"Yes."

"...What kind of pain?"

"PAIN!"

"Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. That's what the ice is for, silly." Benji laughed, holding up the bag, doing his best Vana White impression. "To numb the pain."

"I don't want the ice."

"It'll make you feel better..."

"I don't want the ice. So drop it."

"Kay." Benji shrugged, literally dropping the ice on the floor. "Well... you wanna talk about it?"

"No, I do not want to talk about it."

"Right... So?"

"We're not going to talk about it..."

"And.."

"I can't believe we're going to talk about this..." Berkeley groaned, rolling his eyes.

"So what's on your mind?" Benji asked, pulling up a chair.

"I..."

"Go on."

"I need to stay here. With Palavi. Maybe not forever, but until he's ready to leave."

"So you want to stay?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. I have to stay here or else. Well, you saw..."

"Scary guy with the muscles."

"What? Yeah, his name's Mikayl. And he wants to force Palavi to marry him. Palavi... he's not submissive or anything, but he's not a fighter either. I can't leave him to a fate like that. And besides I... love him."

"Then you should stay."

"Benji, I don't want to leave Archangel!"

"Then don't stay."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to do what I would if I were you, Berkeley."

"And that would be?"

"What I usually do. I make a decision." Benji explained. "And usually no matter what decision I make my crew stands for it too. Even if it's the wrong one. Which, every time, it undeniably is..." Benji nodded. "At least I know that at the end of the day my crew is still standing beside me. And no matter how badly I screw up Miguel will always be there to say something nice."

"That's dependable..."

"He usually is."

"So what you're saying is that if someone, like Miguel, would stand by you. Then you should do your best to stand by him?"

"If I knew that would I be stalling right now?" Benji asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"I think I know what I'm going to do."

"Wait... are you still thinking as if you were me?"

"I don't think so."

"Good... because when you said 'I think I know what I'm going to do' you'd be wrong. Because I never know what I'm going to do next. Even if I thought I did it never goes according to plan."

"Well its good thing that I'm not you then."

"Good. Then I should probably tell you that your Palavi was kidnapped by that Mikayl guy after we picked you up."

'WHAT!?"

"Don't be mad."

"Ugh, no doubt Mikayl's..." Berkeley shuddered at the thought. "I said I'd protect him."

"You were bleeding to death... Besides it's the dead of night. You need to rest up. Then you can save Palavi. You're no good to him now so just try and get some sleep." Benji said, heading for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To Miguel. So I can sleep."

"Oh sure... you can sleep... because you don't have a conscience!"

"Nighty night!"

That night Berkeley did sleep, but it certainly wasn't nightmare free...

XXX

Palavi's Hut

Palavi didn't know what he was thinking. Besides "I love Berkeley" he hadn't really given much thought to anything else and now he was starting to see the consequences.

It really couldn't be helped. Besides everything else he'd ever had was taken from him.

It all started when he was twelve years old, when his mother left, he didn't remember why she did. His father would never say.

Four years after that Berkeley left.

Two years later his father got sick.

One week ago he gave up his freedom to marry Mikayl.

And only an hour ago he'd lost Berkeley again. Maybe this time for good.

He could only remember running his hand over his face as he faded out of his life. Everything else after that point had become unimportant. Mikayl hadn't hurt him this time. Maybe he really was too vain to have his bride looking less than perfect.

Moments passed.

He didn't know what he was thinking.

Mikayl had been angry. Palavi had always been so scared of him. Even now he was scared.

But he guessed it really didn't matter now. Before long he'd get used to feeling this way. It wouldn't be hard.

He could learn to be kept, he figured.

If he could learn to be without the one he loved he could do anything.

He ran his fingers across his mother's wedding dress. Tomorrow it would be his. A knot twisted in his stomach as he stared deeply into the green silk.

"Palavi?" From the doorway Palavi's father gazed at him, he had good days and bad days, seeing as he could walk today it was a good one.

"Father, you should be resting," the caring son said rushing over to help him to a chair. "I worry about you."

His father simply laughed. "I worry about you, too."

"You shouldn't." Palavi smiled half heartedly.

"Ah, your mother's wedding dress. I should hope it fits you. You've gotten so skinny. Do you still eat or is starving some new fad with you kids?"

"I eat enough to survive." Palavi scoffed. "And I'll fit just fine, thank you."

"I just don't know."

"I assure you the dress will fit."

"Not about that."

"Oh?"

"I wonder who will take care of you when I'm gone."

"Dad, my husband will, of course."

"No. I see the way he treats you and I don't like it."

"It's just..."

"I'm old. I'm not stupid."

"Okay!" Palavi sighed, trying to dig for his emotions. "He... beats me... is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Could've fooled me."

"You knew?"

"How could I not? You're here every day. You don't think I wouldn't notice all the bruises you've gotten ever since you became engaged to that loser? I'm sorry. What I meant to say was since you've been engaged to that 'asshole'."

"Well. I would like to tell you that Berkeley and I are in love. I would like to, but he's going back to his crew and there's no way he's staying here. He likes his freedom and I'm like some kind of cage to him."

"I don't think he's afraid of cages. I believe Berkeley is, to put it simply, running."

"Running?"

"Yes. And the one afraid of cages would be you."

"Me...?"

"You don't want to get married to the jerk because it means you'll be trapped. If he makes you feel that way then don't marry him. I'd feel a lot better if you didn't."

"But what about your dying wish?"

"My what?"

"You said your dying wish was to see me get married!"

"Palavi I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. I'm hallucinating half the time and the one time you decide to listen is when I'm babbling about marriage?"

"I'm screwed."

"Big time. Any chance that I might... die tomorrow?"

"Funny. I was about to ask you the same thing."

"But seriously?"

"Oh, I was being serious."

"Palavi..."

"I don't know. I suppose what is meant to happen will happen. If I'm meant to be trapped then it's the way it was intended to be."

"My new dying wish is to die before that happens..."

XXX

The morning was bright and sunny as any morning on Crazy Frog Island; Palavi had half hoped the day would reflect how he felt, but no such luck. He sighed inwardly as he dragged himself out of bed. The whole entire night had been restless for him. Good, he thought, I'll look like crap! How's that for silver lining?

And just when he thought there would be no saving him from the ugly... the bridesmaids appeared.

Curses!

Heck, it's not like he didn't like the women, he didn't even know them. And they had no idea that by beautifying him they were ruining his evil plan.

"And we need to do something with your hair..." said the older girl with the bubblegum pink hair. In his head Palavi had named her respectfully Bridesmaid number one.

"My hair is wonderful. I do it like this all the time..." Palavi suggested, ready to claw off his own face if the occasion called for it.

"Which is my point. This is your 'special' day right? A special occasion calls for some effort," number one said chipperly, going for the hairbrush from hell.

"Oh yeah. It's a special day alright."

"That's the spirit!" commented Bridesmaid numero du. She had neon green hair that Palavi was sure, if you stared at it long enough, would cause you to lose the ability to see that color ever again. "Now where did I put the paint...?"

"The... paint?" Palavi inquired.

"For that nasty thing on your face, dear," the third and final Bridesmaid said. This girl was surprisingly normal, black hair and tan skin. Probably his favorite person in the room thus far. Only because she wasn't going at his head with torture devices. She had been sitting in the corner calmly, barely saying anything, as she altered his mother's dress. Apparently it did need to be taken in.

"Yeah. It's horrible. Wanna hear how I got it?" Palavi glared at his own reflection.

"Not now, sweetie. I'm just going to add a little bit of color to the area. To take the focus off," number two continued.

"Sensational... thank you..." Palavi droned.

"The dress is finished. Would you like to put it on?"

However, the question went unanswered as Mikayl entered the room.

"It's unlucky to see the bride before the ceremony." Bridesmaid number one giggled as she tore outseveral strands of Palavi's hair.

"Oh, good. Mikayl, won't you come in?" Palavi said in false cheer.

"Ladies, would you excuse us?" Mikayl said in the most winning tone he could muster.

Numbers one and two began to giggle as number three let without a word. Soon after the other two finally left, but not before adding in a "Try not mess up his hair and make-up too much."

Like they had any idea...

Palavi immediately turned to the mirror. Avoiding direct eye contact was best in these types of situations. "Is there something you needed?"

He didn't know what this was about, but he could see from the corner of the mirror a hint of a smirk pulling at Mikayl's lips. He walked over to Palavi's chair and rested both hands on the bride's shoulders. "This is what I've always wanted. To be married to you. Are you not happy?"

The hands moved to Palavi's cheeks, gently turning his face to look up at the mirror, to see himself and Mikayl leering over his shoulder.

"I want you to be happy..."

"Because, of course, marrying you should make me happy?"

The false smile quickly turned into a scowl.

"I'm not happy and I'm not marrying you. I love Berkeley and you're a fool if you think you can come between us..."

The scowl that Palavi thought would get darker changed back into a smile. "You look very beautiful today." And without another word he walked away leaving Palavi both very confused and frightened.

Berkeley, you'd better come save me or I swear to the volcano goddess I will haunt you till the end of days...

But really... Please save me!

XXX

Simon was having a rotten existence. One, he was not being rescued. Two, Rin had taken it upon herself to get a front row seat to the ceremony. She was enjoying this...

And she would pay dearly if he could figure out how to untie himself and escape.

Yeah, no problem.

"Hey cavewoman! Any chance of you actually doing something to help me?"

Rin smiled and pulled out a bag of marshmallows. "Nope."

"Gee, thanks."

"Welcome!" she replied, popping a marshmallow into her mouth.

The ceremony was about to begin. Everything was in place at the base of the volcano. Palavi came soon enough, half dragged by two persistent Bridesmaids.

Through all his efforts of trying not to be pretty he was still a vision of loveliness. His spiraled orange hair had been tamed into a loose bun with some curls cascading down to frame his face. The top of his dress was emerald green that stopped just above his midriff and continued into a light blue sarong. Transparent blue fabric was wrapped around his shoulders and the entire gown.

Though the magnificent blue eyes were now, more than ever, were completely devoid of any emotion. They were simple pools of water. Empty.

The wedding ceremony wasn't like any wedding ever seen. There were no vows or exchanges of "I dos." Heck, they didn't even give Simon a chance to object!

Many strange rituals passed, some weirder than others, until it came down to the moment where Palavi and Mikayl were to finalize their union with a kiss.

As Mikayl leaned forward to force Palavi to kiss him there came a resounding. "I OBJECT!"

Everyone looked around to see what the source of the noise was only to find Berkeley, alive and well, and certainly as dashing as any pirate could hope to be.

Palavi snapped back to reality when he saw Berkeley again. He could barely contain his excitement as he leapt forward only to be pulled back by Mikayl.

"Really? That's the best you've got?" Mikayl snorted.

Benji smirked as he came up behind Berkeley, Miguel at his side.

"No." Berkeley shrugged. "This is..."

Suddenly Rin burst from her seat, producing a cannon out of thin air. "Ka-BOOM!"

"Where were you keeping that!?" Simon exclaimed only to get poked by Smalls. "Do I have to tell you again!?"

Smalls pouted and recoiled.

Rin simply smirked and tossed her hair back. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Even Simon couldn't deny that Rin was starting to look very sexy to him; however, he would try denying it anyway. Because if Rin was starting to look good then he really needed to get laid...

Palavi ripped himself away from Mikayl's grip long enough to pull his hair down from the bun it had been tangled into. The curls floundered free as he shouted to Berkeley. "You came for me!"

"Of course I did!"

Palavi smiled and began to run toward him before Mikayl could catch him again. The orange-haired man jumped into Berkeley's arms and hugged him tightly. "You came, you came, you came."

"Ow. Shoulder. Palavi. Pain. Ow."

"Sorry..." Palavi drew back, allowing a single tear to fall down his cheek.

"What did I tell you about crying?"

Palavi laughed. "I forget... would you remind me?"

Berkeley complied by gathering Palavi to his chest and kissing him deeply.

It was the most perfect kiss he'd ever been a part of.

And it appeared to be quite a show because everyone was cheering for the entire duration of it.

"I love you, Berkeley Jay Shawn Taylor."

"And I love you Palavi Welui." Berkeley chuckled, scooping the man into his arms. "Forever and ever."

"Hey!" Simon screamed through the excitement. "If these guys don't cut me loose, I will shove my foot so far down your throat that-"

Rin immediately stepped forward to cover his mouth. "The nature of this content is not suitable for children."

Palavi blinked at Simon and turned to Berkeley. "What'd he say?"

"That he's... happy for us."

"Oh! I almost forgot." Palavi waved at the guards. "You can let him go now. We won't be needing him anymore!"

The guard did as they were told. Smalls got in one last good poke before the angry Simon was set loose.

"Hey, Berks!" Benji shouted, "What should we do with him?"

During the excursion Benji and Miguel managed to trounce Mikayl into submission. Now he was getting himself well-acquainted with the sand while Miguel sat on his back, poking Mikayl's head with his big toe. "Fear the feet, loser..."

"To the volcano!!!" Berkeley cheered as the entire tribe moved as one to the mouth of the volcano.

What Benji's crew saw when they got there wasn't what they'd been expecting.

There, at the very top of the dormant volcano, was a throne. And on that throne was a very familiar newt-loving whack job.

"Hey! I've been sitting up here patiently waiting for days! I know I said I wouldn't tell you guys how to do your jobs, but really! Now where's my newts!?"

The tribe began to bow to her and click in unison.

"Um..." Berkeley turned to Palavi. "What's she doing here?"

"That's the Goddess of the Volcano! She appeared here last week as the prophecy foretold!" Palavi said as he too began to bow.

"Nooo. That's the freaky newt lady." He said, hastily pulling Palavi away from the crowd.

"The what?"

"Stop your useless bowing and get me some newts! You can worship me once I've eaten!!!" Keiko screeched.

Berkeley turned to the crew as they all gestured to Keiko mouthing the words, "What the hell?"

"HEY! YOU THERE!"

Berkeley turned back to Keiko, who had pinned her eyes on him. "You're from that boat!"

"Um…it's a ship, ma'am…" Benji corrected weakly, and then fell silent when she glared at him.

"SEMANTICS!" she spat with disgust. "Who needs 'em? It floats, doesn't it? Now explain what you're doing on my island!"

"Gee, it became her island awfully fast, didn't it?" Berkeley whispered to Benji, and then fought the urge to writhe in terror when Keiko lifted her spear and pointed it at him.

"YOU! Bring forth the newts!"

"Um…I…I don't have any newts, ma'am…" Berkeley said, as meekly as anyone had ever heard him speak.

"WHAT?! Who on earth walks around without a jar of newts on them these days?! WHAT KIND OF WORLD AM I LIVING IN?!" Keiko bellowed.

"….Um?"

"Okay, FINE! Someone form a hunting party and get me my dinner already!" When they hesitated, she bellowed again. "NOW!"

The speed with which the natives obeyed made the crew members feel slightly better—at least they weren't the only ones a little scared of the old woman.

"You know what?" Keiko said, her voice surprisingly calm now. "I don't really care what you're doing here. Stay, or don't. Just don't eat my newts." And then she turned all of her attention and focus on the spear she held in her hands, staring fixedly at it and muttering something about "Yusuke…rat bastard…shoving me on a boat with no newts…stranding me on an island with a bunch of idiots who don't have ENOUGH newts…stupid Yusuke and his stupid face…"

Benji inched away from the crowd—Keiko didn't even notice—waving to the crew to follow.

Simon was already way ahead of them, Rin in step with him, throwing marshmallows at him.

Miguel waited for Benji as Berkeley approached them. "Berks... you coming?"

Berkeley shook his head. "Nah. My place is here with Palavi."

Benji sighed. "Staying here then?"

Palavi looked at them, going back and forth, trying to figure out what they were saying.

"Staying here."

"Staaa... ang?" Palavi repeated, trying to get a feel for the word, though he didn't know what it meant in their language.

Berkeley chuckled and brought his hand to Palavi's cheek. "It means I'm staying with you, freak."

"Hugglemuffins!!!" Palavi cheered, wrapping his arms around Berkeley's waist.

Benji quirked his brow. "Hugglemuffins, huh?"

"Yeeeeaaaahhhh.... 'bout that."

"No need to explain. I guess I'm saying goodbye, then. Well..." Benji smiled, starting down the path. "...See ya around."

"Maybe sooner than you think!" Berkeley called down to him.

"Buh-bye Berkeley! I'm gonna miss you!" Miguel said, hugging Berkeley. Next he turned to shake Palavi's hand. Then quite fluently he "clicked" to the couple "Send lots of letters!" This was his final order in the native tongue before running after his partner.

"What's a letter?" Palavi asked Berkeley.

Berkeley smiled and picked Palavi up. "Another subject for another time."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a secret..."

"Does this secret involve clothes?" Palavi grinned.

"Nope."

"Yeah... I knew it. My father is not going to be happy about this..."

XXX

Later that afternoon the Archangel finally set sail with very much praise to Monroe for a job well done. And after Benji was done yelling aimlessly at everyone, only out of love, he retired to his room for the night.

Miguel soon followed.

"Miguel... Berkeley's gone..." Benji sighed and stared out the window of his cabin.

Miguel said nothing as he crawled across the mattress over to where Benji sat.

"The one thing I thought I could never get rid of... is gone..."

The redhead leaned on the Cuban's broad shoulder and exhaled softly. "Maybe it was time. I'd understand if you were sad-"

"I'm not sad."

"Benji..."

"He was a nuisance. I couldn't stand him, anyway. He was loud. And clingy. And he was... he was... he was always... Berkeley..."

"It's okay if you miss him, Benji," Miguel whispered.

The captain took a long mournful breath. He heard a strangled hiccup come from Miguel's general direction. And like clockwork he gathered Miguel to his chest before the first of the pale Spaniard's tears could make it down his cheeks. "Shhhh... It'll be all right. I'm gonna miss him, too. I mean, who else is gonna eat all the foreign objects we find under the fridge?"

The freckled individual giggled through the oncoming tears, more happy than sad now, but even so he couldn't stop crying. "Did you get to say goodbye at least?"

"Yeah... it was weird."

"Awkward weird or..."

"No, just... weird. Like I was losing something... vital..."

"That sounds weird..."

"Or... maybe I'm just hungry."

"Dirty..." Miguel snorted.

Benji gasped. "Miguel! For shame..."

Batting his eyelashes, the redheaded beauty tilted his head. "Who? Me?"

Before Miguel could say anymore the white-haired pirate had him pinned to the bed. "You're so cruel to me..." he whispered, becoming dangerously close to his partner's lips.

"Well I don't know about that..." Miguel smiled coyly. "But just for my amusement... How cruel am I really?"

"Very... Now can we...?" Benji hummed, his voice drifting off as he became closer to touching his lips to Miguel's. Until he was quite suddenly romancing Miguel's pillow, for the real Miguel was now sitting cross-legged on the edge of the bed.

"Really, Benji. You're going to be okay, right?"

Benji, in response, face planted onto the bed. "Yes, I'm okay..." he mumbled into the mattress. "I'd be even better if you would get over here, you little temptress."

"How okay...? On a scale of one to ten, ten being the greatest."

"I am... watching Simon being sacrificed, if it actually happened, okay."

"Good. Just for the record though... That would have been really spectacular, right? Oh... don't tell Erik I said that."

"Why?"

"Because I'm supposed to be the sympathetic one."

"Nah, it just goes to show that you're just as cynical and mean-spirited as the rest of us."

Miguel smirked. "Yeah, I am, aren't I? Well then..." he whispered seductively.

"Goodnight!"

"But you're also really caring and sympathetic to your lover's needs..." Benji pouted. "And I'm really sad, ya know..."

Miguel rolled his eyes and smiled despite his best effort. "Get over here... And don't hog all the covers like last night!"

"Take all the covers? Don't mind if I do!"

"Bennnjiiii!"

---

Authors' Note: Believe it or not we'd never thought it'd come to this when we'd started writing this story. We created the character "Berkeley" to be the total embodiment of every character we've ever hated—literally down to every last name, "Berkeley Jay Shawn Taylor." He was meant to be expendable. However, somehow he'd gotten into the next story. We're still not sure how...

Now he has his own chapter, back story, love interest, and even an enemy. Whoa! None of us knew he'd ever get this much air time...

By the way this whole chapter was written in, like, two weeks. I kid you not. Somehow the procrastinators did it. Don't know how that happened either...

And don't worry fans (*echo* ...fans... fans...?) The next chapter is already underway. Hopefully we finish it soon!

Oh, and sorry about the length of the chapter. It's hard to fit an entire sub-plot into one chapter and keep it short. But for people who like long chapters—well, look, a present!

One more thing! Reviews inspire us. Just so ya know... (hints) It helps us write better... when we... get reviews...