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Disclaimer: The Outsiders belongs to S.E. Hinton

"You told Sodapop?" Johnny asked me, his mouth hanging open. "How dumb are you?"

I put my head back in my hands and groaned. Johnny and I were hanging out at my place, watching movies. "I know, I know. But I told you right?"

"But he's Pony's brother!" Johnny exclaimed. "And…Cherry…gosh, I'm sorry Carmmy…" He used my nickname softly.

"Thanks Johnny Cake. No use crying over it." I brushed it off swiftly. What does she have that I don't? A valid question. No reasonable answers yet. I asked Johnny and he put his chin on his fist in thought.

"She's a Soc," Johnny shrugged.

"Ponyboy isn't that prejudice, like everyone else. She has red hair?"

"He like brunettes." Johnny pointed out and played with the end of my hair as if to prove a point. "Green eyes?"

"He told me he doesn't like green eyes. Which is weird considering his eyes have green in them." I pointed out. Johnny nodded in agreement.

"You have a better personality than her."

"Thank you. It's not true…but thank you." I grinned ruefully. Johnny sighed in defeat and put his head against my shoulder.

"What do you want for Christmas?" he asked. I bit my bottom lip and shrugged. The simple answer: Ponyboy.

"Ugh, you need to drink some of your mom's 'club soda' you need some happy juice." That's what Mom calls her vodka when my friends are over. I thwacked him with the back of my hand.

It was Christmas Eve when I finally was alone with Ponyboy. I had not talked to him personally since he started hanging out with Cherry.

"So…how's Dustin?" he asked casually.

"Fine." I snapped. Pony raised an eyebrow suspiciously. We didn't talk until Sodapop came home.

Dear Diary,

The deed is done. He asked her out. She said yes. My life officially sucks. Merry frickin Christmas.

I shoved my diary under my mattress in frustration. It fell out of its hiding spot and hit the floor. I was too mad to care. I just plopped back onto my bed and let a few stray tears leak out from the corners of my eyes. It was two-thirty on Christmas morning and I was crying. Damn Tulsa.

I woke up to the strangest sensation. I was having a luxurious dream about a certain greaser and I felt something rough and wet against my cheek. A tongue? Yes, that was it. I opened my eyes slowly. I could feel the effects of last nights' cry fest on my poor eyelids. Big brown eyes with a ring of orange around the iris bored into mine.

"Dustin!" I yelped. Why is he here? His tail thumped against something and I heard a quiet "Merry Christmas Carmmy."

"Sodapop?"

He grinned sheepishly and murmured "It was Johnny's idea."

Tears welled up again. Dustin kept licking my face then lay down next to me like he'd been doing it since he was born.

"You…you-?"

Sodapop nodded before I could get the words out of my mouth. He gave me the best gift ever!

The boys were sitting in my living room watching the Mickey Mouse special and eating chocolate cake, a tradition that I still found weird. Johnny was sitting on the far side of the sofa. I hopped over Two-Bit and tackled Johnny. "Thank you so much Johnny Cake!"

"It's, um, no biggie…" I looked him in the eye and realized he was blushing. In my peripheral vision I saw Ponyboy cross his arms over his chest.

"What, no girlfriend for the big holiday?" I asked, a bit of gloating sneaking into my voice.

"She's at her dad's place."

I let a small smile turn up my features. I had recently joined the 'make fun of Pony and his new girlfriend club' that Two-Bit and Steve had started. Dallas nudged me out of his way and pulled me onto his lap. "Dallas!" I protested weakly.

If I had to pick the second hottest greaser (not brotherly, cuz that would hands down be Soda), it would be Dally. I had seen him without a shirt and I might have fainted a little. But that's all he is. Looks and sarcasm.

I wiggled out of Dally's grip and tumbled to the ground. "Thanks." Dustin nudged me with his wet nose and whimpered. "I'm fine Dustin…"

"Look, look!" Steve said in awe.

"What, what?" Two-Bit replied.

"Do I see mistletoe?" I saw no mistletoe what-so-ever at the Curtis's.

"Why, I do believe it is, Steve," Dally joined. It was obvious they had rehearsed it.

"Who should we push under the mistletoe, Sodapop?" Steve asked.

"Maybe our favorite love-birds…" Sodapop grinned evilly. He and Dallas grabbed Pony's wrists and forced him under the kitchen doorway while Steve nailed a piece of the dreaded plant to the top. Johnny and Two-Bit grabbed my wrists and pulled me to face Ponyboy.

"Sorry, Dallas made me," Johnny apologized in a whisper. Crap. This is not good. Not good, at all. Sodapop winked before leading the guys out the door. I looked at Pony from under my lashes. And was surprised to see him still there, blushing. He was also slightly closer to me.

"You-you have a girlfriend," I reminded him shakily. I watched him lick his full bottom lip slowly, seductively.

He shushed me and pushed my bangs out of my eyes. I bit my tongue to keep from saying something to ruin the moment. Pony's head tilted to his right and inched closer. His lips brushed mine for a millisecond. But I was greedy…I wanted more.

I pulled my hands through his greased hair and down the sides of his neck. His arms wound around my waist and he leaned down closer to me. I let him lick my bottom lip and rub his palms against my hips. It felt too good to argue with him.

But…did he really want this? He seemed more hesitant than me, and his touch was lighter than mine. Until…he shoved me against the wall and deepened the kiss. His soft lips traveled down my neck and across my collarbone. I had to bite my lip to keep from moaning in pleasure. Why hadn't he ever kissed me before? It was torture to know what I had been missing for all those long, broken months. He seemed to know what he was doing even though he'd never kissed a girl before. Or had he? Did he ever kiss Cherry like this? Ever slam her against a wall. Had he gone farther than just a kiss?

"Ponyboy…" I whispered breathlessly, "you have to stop."

"No," he moaned against my skin.

"Please, Pony," I pleaded. He sighed unhappily and backed away from me.

"I have to go," I murmured brokenly. Either Ponyboy didn't detect my upset or didn't care, but he smile crookedly. His smooth lips pressed against mine then moved them to my ear.

"Merry Christmas, Carmen."

Dear Diary,

Ohmigod! It was the most amazing Christmas ever! With Dustin and Ponyboy and…ah… But, it got me thinking. What about Cherry? Does he really like her? Does he even like me? I'm confused, but one thing's for sure: my first kiss could not have been more perfect.

I told Johnny about the kiss and Sodapop informed me that Pony had told him all the 'juicy details'. Great.

Cherry came back from her dad's place…and ran straight into Pony's arms. He hugged her and told her he loved her. Right in front of me. I mean, what the hell was that all about?! Is the world cruel or what?

I heard a soft tap on my door and put my diary hastily away. "Come in!"

"Hey, you," Dally said, opening the door.

"What's up, Dally?" I asked casually. He shrugged and sat down on my bed next to me. His fingers played with a hole in my orange sheets.

"Sodapop told me 'bout the kiss."

"Yeah, thanks for setting that up," I shot sarcastically. He glanced at me, but did not glare.

"I'm sorry. But…I want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into."

"Excuse me?"

"Well…" he took a deep breath and did something that almost made me laugh out loud. He blushed. "You just…it's hard, dating one of us."

I assumed he meant a greaser but didn't question it.

"We tend to get caught up in our emotions…and go too far. Drama plays an important role in everything…"

"Dallas, what the hell are you talking about?" I asked in complete confusion.

He sighed, exasperated. "Jesus Christ… just be careful with Ponyboy and all the emotions you're throwing around. There. That's all I had to say."

"Dally, were you forced to say something to me about this?" I finally comprehended it.

"Well…"

"Dallas Winston?!"

"Yeah, fine. Darry wanted me to make sure you already knew…you know…"

"Darry sent you…" I burst out laughing, "To give me the sex talk, didn't he?"

Dally's blush darkened. "Well it's not like I volunteered or nothin!" I giggled girlishly.

"'Kay Dally."

He left and I kept laughing until my stomach hurt and I could no longer breath.

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