When she had decided to leave, she still hadn't really known what she was doing. As she sat on the edge of the hotel bed, her overnight bag barely filled with anything and sitting unopened beside her, she contemplated what she could do from here.
Was it worth going back? It was nice to be... away. At least for a while. Would it feel just as good to be far from everything that she'd held as important to her? Maybe a year touring Europe, giving all those lectures she'd denied in the past... working on some of the most recent digs... it would be fascinating, but most importantly... it would get her mind off of her troubles.
Why she had even bothered to come here at all was nearly a mystery to her. What would it accomplish, other than isolating herself? It was a start, sure, but it wasn't like anyone was trying to find her other than Angela, who now knew where she was anyways.
Unless she was hoping that Booth would come searching for her.
Which was horribly stupid, because he hadn't bothered to even call her over the past few days. All the signs pointed to him wanting to avoid her entirely, and distance himself from her. If he found out she was gone... well, there was a good chance he'd be happy about it, rather than worried. He'd think she'd made the choice and made their lives easier. He wouldn't have to face the unpleasant possibility of working with her again, and he would be free to move on unhindered.
It would all be for the best.
Angela couldn't be trusted to give her the truth, so she would have to ask someone completely objective what Booth's reaction to her leaving had been. Then she would know for sure. Perhaps she could get a hold of Cam, who had always held Booth's interests the highest, even though the two of them were friends. She didn't dislike her boss for it, though. She always knew that Angela would have her side; it was only fair that Cam took Booth's. They'd known each other longer than she'd known Angela, anyways. And this way, she could find out how he was fairing without her there. If he was happier, more easy-going... well, she'd know she'd made the right choice.
Even if it would hurt so much that she wouldn't know how to move on herself.
A rapping at her door made her head snap up and her thoughts come back to the present. Angela, she thought with an internal sigh. She never should have given her friend the information... she had probably gotten out of work and come straight here. Had decided to try to talk her into coming back and working things out. But that wasn't how it worked, and Angela should know it. She couldn't force Booth to do something he didn't want to. He needed someone that could love him... and she wasn't able to do that. Yes, she felt like she loved him... but she wouldn't be able to show it the way that he could. She couldn't give him the type of love that he wanted from her. And he knew that she never would be able to, because that was the way she was.
A good portion of her didn't want to answer the door at all. Wanted to just stay where she was. Pretend that the person had the wrong door. That she was sleeping. That she just wasn't in at all... maybe she'd gone for a walk or something. She didn't have to answer.
"Bones?"
Her blood suddenly ran cold, and her heart nearly stopped before it started rocketing along at an unnatural pace. Her mind spun, unable to lock on a reasonable or rational line of thought.
"Bones, I know you're in there," he said. His voice was soft. Gentle. Filled with care. Pleading with her. "Come on, I just want to talk to you."
Shakily she got to her feet.
He was here. He was here. Surely that meant something? Surely he had sought her out, because he... what? She didn't even know. But right then, she wasn't willing to care. This meant something, and that was good enough.
Her hand latched onto the doorknob as the other one fumbled clumsily with the lock. When the chain fell down and swung, she slowly pulled the door open and stood in the opening, staring at him helplessly, not sure whether to smile, or glare... there were so many things that a former version of herself might have reacted with, that simply no longer fit her. She felt lost and confused, things that she wasn't familiar with in recent history, and most certainly didn't approve of being reacquainted with.
He stood there, just staring at her for a long moment, and she couldn't help but stare back. She hadn't seen him in several days... it felt weird to just be facing him. After she'd gotten back from her trip the previous summer, she remembered them just hugging each other the instant they reunited in her office, so happy to see each other again. After that, they'd barely been apart for more than a day at a time. Now... they just stood there, on opposite sides of the threshold. Watching each other.
"Can I... uh..." he gestured towards the hotel room awkwardly, and she hurriedly stepped out of the way, making room for him to get past.
With the door shut behind him, she stood near it, arms crossed over her chest, shifting her foot uncomfortably and worrying her lip.
"I, uh... went over to the lab. You weren't there."
"You... went to the lab?" she asked, unable to disguise her surprise at that.
He winced slightly, recognizing the emotion in her voice instantly. "Yeah." He coughed slightly, looking away and then flicking his eyes back again. "I wanted to... see you. I..." he ran a hand through his hair. "I missed you, Bones," he mumbled.
The warmth that single statement sent through her was beyond words. She blinked at him in shock for a few seconds, letting a slight smile turn up the corner of her lips. He caught sight of it, and mirrored it with his own, a small twinkle shining in his eyes.
"I missed you, too," she responded softly.
His smile widened slightly, but then his face became serious again, as he spoke. "I wanted to come see you sooner... but I didn't know what to say. And I just didn't want to... do the wrong thing."
"I thought..." she took a deep breath, her smile gone completely now. "Booth, we can't just... if you want to move on I don't want to hold you back. And as long as I'm here, you-"
"As long as we're both in this same universe," he cut her off, "It wouldn't make any difference at all." He shook his head. "Bones, I can't move on. Not without you."
Her heart hammered, and she desperately wanted to believe him.
"I can't," she whispered, "Booth, I can't be..." A sob broke through, and she fought back the tears that welled so easily in her eyes. She hated how easily he could get to her like this. How easily she fell apart when it came to him. But that was what made him so... special, she supposed. No one else could evoke such strong emotion from her. "I can't be the person you want me to be," she whispered, her voice small as she stared at him with watering eyes, her right arm hanging limply with the left arm latched onto it, rubbing up and down self consciously as her eyes flickered away from him the moment she was done speaking.
"You're the only woman I've ever wanted like this," he said, stepping closer to her and turning her face towards him with a gentle touch to her chin. A shiver passed through her. "And it doesn't matter. None of it matters. Bones, when I told you that... that I knew you didn't know how to change... that's what I meant. That you didn't know how to change. And you don't; we both know that. But... I didn't tell you what I should have said then. That I can help you change. If... you want to."
"You... you'll help me?" she choked out, her eyes shining, "You want me to... you don't want to find someone that can... that's capable of..." she looked away, "That isn't cold and-"
"Shh..." he murmured in her ear as he pulled her close to him. "Bones, you are not cold. And you..." he chuckled softly, the vibrations shaking her and making the warmth that he'd spread through her circulate faster. Her heart was still racing. "You, Bones, I do believe, have the highest learning curve of anyone I've ever met."
She laughed in response through her tears, her eyes closed as her arms tightened their hold around him.
He pulled away, and she stifled a sob that came forward almost instantly, even though her eyes were sparkling with happiness. He still kept his arms rested on hers, his face less than a foot away as he looked seriously into her eyes.
"Do you want to try this, Bones?"
She nodded desperately, her eyes brighter than they'd been in days, a huge smile worming its way across her face and breaking out like the sun from behind a curtain of clouds that had been holding it captive. He grinned widely in response, and then searched her eyes with his own as he leaned closer. Instantly she cleared the remaining few inches and pressed her lips against his.
And then they were lost in their own perfect paradise.
Home, at last, in each others' arms.
This is soo short, but I couldn't seem to make it any longer...
So, would you like an epilogue, or do you prefer it if I leave the story right here?
And thanks again, as always, for all the reviews I have received on this story. I truly appreciate every comment :)
Oh, and I almost forgot. If you were interested in reading a story where Brennan left, I now have a oneshot up about that very thing, titled 'Separate Paths.' Check it out if you like :)
