WE WERE TOO YOUNG THEN, WE WERE TOO CRAZY IN LOVE

Time passed.

Alanna went on her grand adventure. In fact, the one that found her might have been the grandest adventure of them all: a trip to the Roof of the World. From their letters, Jonathan gathered she was bringing home a Shang Dragon, the Dominion Jewel, and a princess who many considered to be the most beautiful in the world. Some small part of him wondered if that were a hint – letting him down easy, as it were.

While she was gone, Jonathan's parents died. He hadn't been able to tell her for weeks, although she might have known right away had she joined with the Voice every evening. (She didn't, and he was fairly certain it had something to do with him.) It was easier to hide things from her in letters, which made him feel dishonest. He promised himself to never lie to her if they ever got married. He also found himself spending considerable amounts of time with George, who loved Alanna just as much as Jonathan did, if not more. He suspected George may have even loved her longer.

The Lioness was never far from his mind. He worried about her constantly, but something inside him told him she was okay. He often berated himself for being concerned about her, and often teased their mutual friends about their concern. "She can take care of herself," he told them, "she's proved it over and over." And she had. Alanna had always been tough. It had been impressive when she was Alan, the smallest page, but was even more so now that they all knew she was a girl, though no one would admit that to her face, or even within ear shot.

Leagues away, Alanna often thought of Jonathan, especially when she was freezing to death retrieving the Jewel. She knew she couldn't have made the journey with Jonathan – it was far too dangerous – but she imagined his warmth wrapped around her, and it helped, even if it was only in her mind. She stayed up late one evening discussing him with Thayet, who had once been considered, albeit briefly, as a potential wife. Thayet wasn't much help – no one really was. Everyone agreed she had to make the decision for herself, something she wasn't overly enamored with. Why couldn't someone just tell her to "do this" or "do that"? It would be so much easier.

The group met Raoul and a ship to take them back to Tortall. As they boarded, Alanna muttered, "I hate boats." Everyone laughed, and told her she could have a room to herself. She glared at them all, but in a good-natured way.

"Excited to be heading home?" Raoul asked one evening when he and Alanna sat up talking. Her hand was never far from her stomach, her body never far from the side of the ship.

She hesitated before nodding. "Yes and no," she answered. "I miss familiar places, but I'm going to miss traveling and seeing new ones." She felt her stomach turn over and clutched the wooden side. She wondered how much Raoul knew. "But going home after time away always feels nice."

The big knight nodded. "Everyone sends their regards," he told her. "Jon gave me a letter to give to you."

"Did he?" she asked absently, her mind more focused on whether or not she was going to throw up.

Raoul looked amused. "I'll let you finish."

"I'm not going to-" before she could finish her sentence, she felt dinner rise in her throat.

Dear Alanna,

I'm not sure when Raoul will give you this letter, or even when it will reach you. I hope it reaches you well. You were fine last I heard from you, but letters come in every few days. Mail from that far isn't exactly speedy, although we do our best. I'm sure Thom could tell me instantly whether or not you were still alive, but part of me fears that he'll tell me you aren't.

Stop glaring at the paper; it's not really me. I know you can take care of yourself – how many times have you proved it in front of me? (Don't answer that.)

I can't tell you how much I've missed you, although I assume you could gather about how much from the letters. I'm both looking forward to and dreading your return, because I fear you'll bring an answer. I'm trying to be honest with you, Alanna, because you're important to me, and honesty is something I have grown to value. (With you around all the time, I've gotten rather used to people being completely honest with me!)

I'll see you soon, or soon enough. I'm sorry this letter isn't as involved as my previous ones. I'm holding back news to share until you're home again so we have something to talk about, topics to delay us. I love you, Sir Alanna, and I anxiously await seeing you again.

Love,

Jon.

Dear Jon,

I will never send this letter, because I will see you before too long. I have been told we're two days out. Hopefully, you'll be waiting for me us. I've reread your letter more times than I can count, or care to admit freely. I eventually had to burn it just to stop looking at it. I will never tell you that, no matter how honest we are being with each other.

I do have an answer for you, Jon. I have thought long and hard about it over the past several months, and I have gone back and forth. I've been driving everyone mad considering it. I hope I have made the right choice.

Love,

Alanna.

She finished the letter as Tortall's coastline appeared in the distance. She blew on the parchment to dry the ink before incinerating it, watching her words burn. Please Goddess, she prayed, fingering the ember around her neck, let me have made the right choice.

Don't yell at me if it's out of character or I've left out details. I'm not Tamora Pierce (obviously) and this is a revisionist fan fiction (obviously). I would assume you all know what her answer is, or you think you know. Next chapter, I'll probably have a new song. Two days until I hear back, and I'm going to try to do as much reading as possible to get you more of this story. Let me know what you think. If you've read "Always," how does it stack up? I feel some similarities, but not so many I feel like I'm rewriting it. Thanks to all those who have reviewed. I appreciate all the support.