Nomsa is busy in the kitchen, Danny is busy in the surgery and Dupe is busy…. Well c'mon you can guess what Dupe is doing. Olivia is chatting away on the internet and Charlotte is in bed an me well I'm in the bathroom going into meltdown! I'm sitting on the edge of the bath staring at the test across the room, it just sits there mocking me.

"C'mon Alice just do it!, great now I'm talking to myself like I'm not crazy enough!"

Here I am, a woman who carries vultures and breathes for lions on a regular basis and yet I am unable to look at a small piece of plastic. I glanced at my watch again. I think you can safely say I'm more than a little bit nervous. My trip to Jo'burg had been un-eventful, I was left with just thoughts and feelings running in circles around my head. How do I feel about another baby? Can we afford another child? Are we strong enough as a couple to support this child? Most importantly though how would Danny feel about being a father again? The only baby he'd had to look after was Rosie 20 odd years ago! Evan and Olivia were school age when Sarah and Danny married. There was also our conversation about 18 months ago.

Just after we got back together me and Danny had had a few drinks and got onto the conversation of children. He asked me if I wanted any, I told him I didn't know that I hadn't really thought about it, which was completely true, I mean we'd just got together right. I asked him the same question, he looked me straight in the eye and said no, he didn't want anymore. To tell you the truth I was shocked, and slightly angry I mean just because I hadn't thought about it didn't mean I didn't want one so I asked him why, he told me in the quietest voice that Sarah had been 6 weeks pregnant when she died. They hadn't told anyone as they didn't want to steal Rosie's thunder, they were going to tell everyone when Rosie got back from her honeymoon, his voice cracked on the last word. My eyes brimming with tears, I just grabbed him and held him tight as he sobbed, obviously this had been the first time he had spoke about this since Sarah's death. After a while his breathing had grown slow and deep and I realise he was asleep so I moved him into bed, the next morning at breakfast we just looked over at each other and I realised that he remembered what he'd said, what he'd done and nothing more has been said since.

Right ok , I'm just going to do this, c'mon Alice, I strode over and picked the test up, all I could see was blackness…..

"Open your eyes you idiot!"

I took a deep breath and opened, my eyes….. 2 lines oh my god I'm pregnant, I'm going to be a mother…again. I slid down thankfully right next to a chair or I would have hit the floor. I waited for the rush of fear but all I feel is overwhelming love, my "moms hand" rests on my stomach. First thing I do is tell junior that we got to tell daddy, no matter what I know that Danny will love this child and me. But still this one little nagging insistent voice in my head saying, he doesn't want children, you only been married 5 months, you cant do this, over and over in my head.

Alice begin talking to her child, "Tell you what junior you let me eat tonight an we tell daddy tomorrow, deal?" She imagined a tall thin boy with his fathers green eyes and a mischievous grin shaking her hand. She smiled inwardly. She was just about to leave the bathroom and then realised that the box and test were out in the open for all to see, she gather everything up and hid the evidence. Tomorrow, definitely tomorrow. She left the bathroom and walked straight into a chest, She knew instantly it was Danny, it smelled like fresh air, dust and just Danny.

"Hey, you ok?" he asked

"Yeah just fine" She smiled widely at him grabbed him and just hugged and hugged and hugged him, mentally thanking him for all he'd given her. He grabbed her waist and she stiffened instinctively, could he tell? Don't be daft I can't be that far along can I? She had never been regular and couldn't remember the last time she'd had her period oh my god I had to get away! She thought. Before She could bolt he said,

"Mmmmmmm, you feel all cuddly today."

"No I don't, why would you say that? I haven't put any weight on whatsoever."

"Whoa whoa calm down." Danny replied, he looked at Alice quizzically.

"I'm really tired Danny, I'm going to bed, you've got to know I really REALLY love you Danny, never forget that."

He frowned at me, "Of course I know that daftie, I really really REALLY love you too."

We leaned in together and kissed it was so sweet and chaste yet passionate too.

"Wow," he said, "How'd you do that?"

"What?" she asked smiling.

"Make me weak kneed with just a kiss and a look."

"Flatterer, you always know exactly what to say to me - goodnight hun."