Well, you ask for an epilogue and I give you this massive thing that just sort of... happened. I hope you enjoy it, and I'm glad you've taken the time to read this story through!
A foot tapped in the silence, as they stared across the expanse between their couch and his chair. Normally, she would have reached across to stop his incessantly bouncing leg, but today she was just as nervous as he was. She was surprised her own body wasn't giving off some sort of reaction, the way Booth's was. Her hands lay clamped together on her lap, and she sat stiffly, not moving at all as she stared calmly at the psychologist.
Internally, she was far from calm. They had broken the stalemate, as Sweets had called it on that night, and now they stood at the start of something else entirely. At Booth's suggestion, the two of them had taken some time off to adjust to the new... arrangement. A week away from skeletons, with just the two of them.
It had been far more amazing than she had predicted. Booth had insisted on taking things slow, rather than diving straight into bed, and while a good portion of her brain had been rather annoyed by this turn of events, her rational side was now glad that he was who he was. Because with anyone else, that was the way things would have played out. Instead, he took her to dinner, insisted on watching pointless movies on his couch, and made her laugh about things that only he could make amusing for her.
And not once had they veered off into discussing murder, or the FBI, or even the Jeffersonian. They were in a world of their own, only fifteen minutes or so from their workplace... and yet they were completely free of it. For the first time, she had appreciated what it might be like if work wasn't the only thing in her life. This wasn't like it was with Sully, where she had been eager to get away from work to be with him. This was like another part of... everything. Her priorities were entirely rearranged.
What had surprised her most, though, was that she had rather quickly realized that they hadn't suddenly changed as a reaction to the new situation with her partner. Rather, they had been altering for all the years that she had known them. She had been changing... and she hadn't even acknowledged it, from how slowly it had come about.
If he had asked her to sail off to the Caribbean with him for a year, and there was no set path for what would follow after that... she would probably have accepted.
And that was terrifying, but also... exhilarating. Life was unpredictable, as she'd always claimed, but now it was unpredictable in a good way.
Sweets, though, didn't seem nearly as excited about the changing circumstances as they did.
"This is going to ruin your partnership," he said quietly into the silence.
She made no comment, and it was Booth who spoke up. "And... who's fault is this, again?"
"Mine," he answered heavily, which made her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Booth looked equally amazed; neither of them had been expecting him to outright confess to it. "I've been an idiot."
"Whoa, hold up a sec. Let's go back to the part where you actually accepted the blame."
"I've been trying too hard for this, and now we're all gonna lose our jobs..."
She shot Booth a look when he turned to her with a helpless expression on his face, and he sighed and turned back to the younger man, who was now hunched over with his head rested in his hands.
"Okay, Sweets, maybe this is a bit... messed up, yeah. But seriously, we are messed up. I think we figured that out a while ago."
"That is actually pretty true," she spoke up at last with an agreeing nod.
Booth shot her a look that said quite plainly not helping, Bones.
"We've been working together for five years now, with all our... issues. And I doubt anything's going to affect the way we solve crime. Right, Bones?"
She stared at his outstretched fist for a second, and then grinned and bumped hers against it. He chuckled and turned back to the still forlorn psychologist.
"Hacker is going to kill me..." he muttered, to seemingly no one in particular.
"Not if our solve rate goes up, he won't," Brennan reasoned. "He's the boss; it makes him look good if his department is successful. And his superiors are more likely to look at the numbers than to investigate into what sort of relationships are going on beneath them. Not if those relationships aren't doing anything bad for the results."
Booth grinned at her, and she felt a bit of relief that she had actually managed to say the right thing. Sweets was looking somewhat hopeful, but still not thrilled.
"He's still not going to like this, though, because he's personally invested."
Booth's face darkened instantly, and he put an arm on top of the couch so that it rested somewhat close to her shoulders. Possessively. She rolled her eyes, but didn't feel the need to complain or move away.
"If Hacker tries to fire any of us because he's mad that Bones isn't interested in him, then he'll regret it."
"I never said I wasn't interested in him," she pointed out.
"I- what?"
"I didn't," she answered honestly. "But... that doesn't mean I'm not more interested in you."
Instantly a wide grin spread across his face. "I think I can... accept that," he murmured as he gently pulled her face towards him and kissed her.
Sweets coughed, and they pulled apart. She didn't feel nearly as embarrassed as she had expected to feel. She glanced at Booth, who was glancing at her as well. A sigh from Sweets brought their attention back to him.
"Okay, so you two clearly are enjoying yourselves," he said, "But there are a few things that you need to know. If you somehow manage to get away with keeping your partnership at work..."
"You mean if you decide to approve it and give Hacker that opinion," she helpfully pointed out.
He seemed to ignore her as he went on, "You have to understand that there are certain things that are going to affect your lives from that. For one, you'll have to have extra therapy sessions with me, which will be mandatory."
"Oh great, he's getting into teacher mode again," Booth muttered, but she could tell there was a smile hiding behind the comment. He was pleased that their shrink seemed to be recovering from his earlier panic.
"And we'll need to discuss your relationship in these sessions as well as your working partnership."
"Whoa, isn't that a bit... much?"
"Not if you want to keep your current job status it isn't. And I think now would be a good place to start, because you already have some issues that are being covered up by your current... status."
"So what, you think this is some sort of newlywed phase that we're going to get over?" she asked incredulously.
"After watching the two of you for the past few years? No. But, regardless of what you might think, I am very invested in the success of your partnership and your personal relationship. Which is why I just talked myself into helping you, for some crazy reason.
"Booth, how much have you told her about the dream you had during your comatose state? Or your following revelations?"
"Hey!" Booth snapped, "That's private! You have no right to-"
"But I have reason." Whatever Sweets had been thinking about in the past few minutes, it must have been very powerful, because she'd never seen so much resolve in his young eyes. He was clearly determined to follow through with whatever this was he had in mind. "I want you two to work out. I want to see this relationship succeed. Why do you think I lost my head last week and told you to go for it when I knew it wouldn't end well?"
"You knew?" Brennan broke in, her eyebrows turned down in a confused frown. "How could you have known what would and wouldn't happen between us once we left that office? You even believed we were actually going to go get dinner, and I remember you being very disappointed over that fact."
"Yes, well, I knew that Booth would go through with it at some point. And I knew that it had to happen... and I had a good guess that it wouldn't end well for either of you. But I knew it had to happen in order for anything else to ever happen. And you got to that part a lot faster than I expected. Which is, again, why I have gone temporarily insane and decided to try to pull this off around Hacker."
They were both silent, and he glanced back and forth between them as if expecting a response. When none was forthcoming, he went on.
"Right. So, Booth, why don't we start with the brain scans?"
"Are you nuts?"
Brennan glanced between the two of them, "Is there something I don't..." she froze then, and her eyes widened and locked firmly on his. "Booth, what is he talking about? The surgery... they got everything out, they did. I saw it. Is there... there can't be something else wrong..."
"No, no! God, no, nothing like that," he said, his hands gently resting on her arms to relax her. She breathed in a deep sigh of relief, but still felt concerned about the look in his eyes, which was telling her that he didn't want to explain whatever it was that Sweets was bringing up.
"I'm trying to help," Sweets said simply when Booth turned to glare at him. "If you don't tell each other everything, then you aren't going to be able to make this work in the long run. It will be great, but it won't last forever. And neither of you would survive that. There are still doubts here, and you both must know that Dr. Brennan, especially, struggles with doubts."
She cast him a look of reproach, but she knew he was right. Facts held life together, and when she didn't understand something, especially when it came to Booth... it worried her a lot more than she liked to let on. Somehow, Sweets had picked up on that.
"What doubts does she have, then?" Booth challenged the psychologist, who immediately turned to her.
"Dr. Brennan, why do you think it is that Booth pushed you away following your return from Guatemala? Why do you think he told you he loved you, and then took it back?"
Her eyes flicked to Booth, who was watching her with concern, and then away.
She didn't know. Did she want to know?
He turned to Booth. "Why do you think it is that Dr. Brennan, who never wanted children, ever, suddenly decided to have a baby, and asked you to be the father?"
"We're leaving," Booth said firmly, glaring at Sweets as he got to his feet. More hesitantly, she did as well.
The shrink nodded and leaned back in his chair as they made their way out.
"Sometimes I really dislike him," Booth muttered when they were seated in his SUV. She didn't answer, and he turned in his seat so he was facing her more directly. "I guess sometimes he's right, though."
She just nodded slightly, and he turned to face the wheel with a sigh, and then drove them back to her apartment.
"Can I... come up?" he asked as he put the vehicle in park out front.
She bit her lip and nodded before letting herself out and starting towards the stairs. He hurriedly caught up to her, but they were silent until the door of the apartment was shut behind them and they were alone in her dark apartment. The lights, once she flicked them on, seemed too bright. They both stood stiffly, rather than sitting down together on the couch like they normally would have.
"Alright, so, now that Sweets has you thinking about all of that... I guess I have no option but to explain it, right?"
"What did he mean by brain scans?" she asked instantly, trying to stall the discussion about when he'd told her he loved her.
He sighed. "After I woke up from my coma, I realized some things. I realized that... I wanted to do something about you and me. Sweets pulled me aside and he showed me some brain scans that had been taken before, during, and after the surgery. He said some crap about chemicals that show love, and told me..." he stared at her, his eyes dark, and then he shook his head. "No, alright? No. You have to know this first, okay, Bones? You have to know that... that I love you. That I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens. I can't. You're everything to me."
Her breath caught in her throat at his words, and his hands rested on her shoulders, his eyes boring into her as if willing her to believe it.
"I know," she whispered back. He breathed out a shaky sigh and wrapped his arms around her warmly. "What did he tell you about the brain scans?" she asked into his shoulder, and he pulled away, making her breath catch again at the sudden loss of warmth and closeness.
"He told me I didn't love you before the dream," he whispered helplessly.
"The... scans didn't show activity before the surgery?" she asked, her eyebrows coming together. She felt the faintest tinges of fear coming over her. "It... was their activity present during your comatose state?" He nodded weakly, and she felt the world beginning to shatter. "And after?" she managed to choke out.
"God, Bones, please," he said desperately, reaching out as she stepped back. His arm fell limply at his side as he stared at her, his eyes pleading, "Bones, I love you. That's what you need to know. And why the hell Sweets thinks the dream has anything to do with it is beyond me."
"Science," she answered, her voice struggling to continue forming coherent words. "Science tells us that... that love is a chemical reaction, that it... that it can be seen on scans like those that were... performed on you. It's an emotion, but the... the chemicals are the proof that it... that it exists."
"I love you," he repeated. "Bones, I look at you, and I don't ever want to stop. You make me smile, and laugh, and you're brilliant, and strong, and beautiful, and everything that I've ever wanted. And there's nothing that could-"
"Stop," she whispered, and he broke off, staring at her sorrowfully. "The dream, Booth. I... you didn't come up with it yourself."
He frowned, and then shook his head, "Bones, what are you-"
"Let me finish. I made that dream. Me. I wrote it out, because... because you were in a goddamn coma!" her voice was rising and her emotions were getting the best of her, but she didn't have the strength to fight them off. Not anymore. Not tonight. "Because for the... for the second time, I was... you were gone! And I couldn't handle that, okay? This is... this is all because of me! Don't you get it? Oh god..." she stepped further away, shaking her head frantically. "Booth, I'm the one that's in love with you. I'm the one that had those emotions. My... if they took brain scans of my head, it would have shown it lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree! And I went ahead and I... I transferred it right to you!"
"Bones!" he shouted, and she stared at him, her chest heaving, her mouth still open, and her eyes blazing. "I have always loved you, alright?" his voice was far too quiet and gentle in contrast to the shouting that had just been ringing through the room. "When we first met, I was fascinated by you. And then, when we fell apart and, well, hated each other? I was still fascinated. I wanted to learn more, and I wanted to understand. And once I did... I saw you. I saw who you were, under all the science terms and the intelligence... and I... Bones, it amazed me. And I loved it, alright? I remember... God, I remember the first time I made you laugh, actually full out laugh, when neither of us was drunk or angry... and that sound was incredible. And I wanted you to do it again. Because it made me happy to see you happy. And that's a major part of what loving you is all about."
"Why, then," she choked out, "Why?"
Clearly he understood her meaning even though she wasn't capable of articulating it at that point, because he answered immediately. "Because I didn't know." She stared at him in confusion, and he went on, "I didn't know I was in love with you. I wanted to spend all my time with you, and you made me unbelievably happy, but I didn't know I was in love with you. I didn't think about a... relationship, about what that would mean, because all I saw in that was a million and one ways to lose you forever. And I didn't want to do that. I can't tell you why the damn brain scan didn't show it, but hey, I was pretty concerned about the whole tumor thing at that point, and I had been pretty stressed, to tell you the truth, about the baby thing too."
She sucked in a sharp breath. The other question Sweets had brought up.
"And about... when you told me that you..?" She knew she was stalling away from it, but she might as well have all her questions answered before he started asking his. She didn't even know what she was going to tell him, to be honest.
"That was because of the scans," he said gently. "I knew I loved you, then, but I was still confused about where you and I stood, and when Sweets told me that it had all been created by the coma... I didn't believe him, but at the same time I was terrified he was right. Because, if he was..." he looked away and shook his head. "I couldn't bear the idea that someday I might not feel the same. At that point... I was having a hard time remembering things about my old self. The tie, the socks, clowns... the way I had felt prior to the dream. It came back, slowly, but that was after I chickened out of telling you the truth. I wasn't going to tell you unless I was absolutely certain that I wouldn't end up hurting you. And that is why I told you last week. Because I know, with every fiber of who I am, that I am in love with you. It's not a dream, it's not going to fade... it's real."
She stared at him for a moment, taking in everything that he'd just told her in the past ten minutes or so, and then she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her lips warmly to his. He moaned approvingly, and moved his lips against hers, his hands rubbing up her back, one of them tangling its way into her hair.
"You haven't told me... about the baby..." he murmured softly against her skin as he tilted his head away slightly. Slowly, she pulled her arms back to her own sides and ran her tongue over her lips, tasting him there as well as trying to give herself time to think. He was watching her with interest and a bit of confusion as well.
"I suppose it doesn't matter, now that I told you I came up with the dream you had while you were in your coma," she murmured. "And... you know me better than anyone else, anyways." She sat down on the edge of one of the cushions on her couch, and he came to sit beside her, still watching her patiently. "I didn't understand what it meant to have someone love you," she whispered. "I didn't think I ever would, a lot of the time. I guess I just didn't... read the signs," she added quietly. He smiled softly, obviously understanding her meaning that she had accepted that he was in love with her before the coma. "I thought that... I know that scientifically, a mother and child share a connection unlike any other in the natural world. I wanted to... feel that. Unconditional love."
"And my sperm..?"
"I wanted it to be... a connection between us, because I thought that... if any child I had could love me, it would be yours."
He stared at her with his mouth open for a moment, and she looked away self-consciously. A finger nudged her chin back so she was facing him once more. "Any child of yours would love you," he whispered gently. "There's no way they wouldn't."
He kissed her again, this time just a gentle caress, and then rested his forehead against hers as they lapsed into silence.
"Are we good?" she asked cautiously after a while. His eyes opened from where they had blissfully slid shut, and he smiled at her.
"Yeah, Bones, we're good. I love you."
"I love you, too," she answered, her eyes sparkling warmly. Those weren't words she'd ever pictured herself saying, especially not with so much warmth and honesty behind them.
"I think I might go crazy in these little sessions that Sweets has planned for us, though, if there anything like this one..."
She chuckled, "You won't be the only one."
"He is sticking his neck out for us, though. I guess I can appreciate that somewhat."
"Not too much, though," she countered. "If Hacker refuses to let us work together, I'll go convince him otherwise."
Booth outright laughed, and she found herself grinning as his eyes glowed with warmth. "I would actually be a little afraid if I was him," he managed after a minute.
"I can be very persuasive."
"And don't I know it."
"So," she said, her eyes suddenly shining with mischief. Her hands began deftly undoing his tie. "I think I can persuade you to follow me?"
"To the edge of the universe," he answered promptly, and then he pressed his lips to hers briefly before she turned and led the way to the bedroom.
There would be plenty of arguments to come, and plenty of laughs, and teasing, and any variety of things that could come up when it was the two of them... but tonight there would be no more argument from either of them.
Because two trusted each other, and two knew they loved each other, and even that it was unconditional... and they could become one. Forever more.
Fin
Well... that's it! This has been one of the most enjoyable stories to work on, and I can't tell you how thrilled I am that it didn't randomly die like, um... some of my other stories.
Thank you so much to every single one of you who took the time to review! I say a thank you out loud to my iPod, many times accompanied by some sort of 'Aww... :)' every time I read your comments. Seriously, you guys are amazing.
Thank you for reading!!
~Jill
