WHY DO YOU HIDE? WHY DON'T YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE?

The next day, Alanna saw Jonathan in one of corridors. "Good morning," she greeted brightly, trying to make the best out of what was clearly a bad situation. He acknowledged her with a curt nod and a brief, "Sir Alanna." The use of her title stopped her in her tracks.

"What did you just call me?" she asked, giving him a questioning look.

He turned expressionless blue eyes on her. She nearly gasped – she had never seen this Jonathan before, and she'd seen all facets of him. "I said, 'Sir Alanna,'" he repeated slowly. "Did I miss something? Would you prefer me to attach your fiefs? Would you rather be called Lady Knight? Please tell me so I can make sure we address you properly."

"What's wrong with you?" she asked quietly, stepping toward him. "Is everything all right?"

"I'm fine, but I have to go. Good day." He gave her a deep nod and strode off, leaving her staring at his back.

She'd had a feeling he'd be mad, but not like this. How could he just ignore her like that? They were still best friends, weren't they? She didn't understand, so she sought out Thayet, who nearly laughed in her face. "You turned down his marriage proposal, Alanna," the beautiful woman said, looking amused. "How did you think he would react?"

"I don't know," the knight admitted. "I had a feeling it would hurt his pride a bit, but… I'd've thought he might've prepared himself for the rejection."

"Even if he did, it still hurt, I'm sure. No man likes to have his heart broken, and you two were more than just lovers. You've been through a lot together."

Alanna pondered this statement for a moment. It was true. She and Jonathan had faced death, immortals, gods, knights, and inexplicable rites together. They shared friends, jokes, laughter, and love. They'd been bound together since her days as a page, and even more so since her seventeenth birthday. Part of him belonged her and part of her belonged to him. Suddenly, something inside her twisted and she began to cry. The small redhead collapsed against the wall in Thayet's room and sobbed. Thayet looked alarmed and quickly shut the door. "Shh…" she whispered, sitting beside the knight, stroking her hair. "Shh. It'll be all right. Shh."

"Oh gods," Alanna sobbed. "What have I done?"

At dinner, everyone noticed the distance between Jonathan and Alanna. They weren't speaking, and she refused to look at him, which was awkward, considering their proximity. Gary, Raoul, and Myles exchanged concerned looks over the table, while Thom looked between the two of them, an interested look on his face. Years in the City of the Gods had hardened him, but he had a small (very, very small) soft spot for his twin sister, who had made his training as a sorcerer possible in the first place. Raoul and Gary went to talk to Jonathan, while Myles tracked down his adopted daughter.

"Alanna." She turned and saw Myles. "Come with me. Let's talk."

"Why?" she asked, looking suspicious.

He looked offended. "I can't talk to my own daughter and heir to my fief? I'm hurt."

"I'm sorry, Myles," she said with a sigh. "I'd love to talk with you."

Meanwhile, Jonathan and his two friends sat in his study, staring at each other more than talking. "What's going on between you and Alanna?" Gary asked flatly.

"Nothing," the soon-to-be-king answered too quickly. "Why do you ask?"

"A blind man could have seen the way you avoided each other at dinner," Raoul remarked casually. "And if you two aren't friends, I think we have a right to know. You know, to avoid awkward situations."

Jonathan eyed them. "That, or are the two of you nosy and curious?" Neither answered. He sighed. "Nothing's going on. You two are overreacting."

"Really." Gary sat back in his seat. "So you weren't avoiding each other? Come on, Jon. We were sitting right there. We all saw it."

The young man's blue eyes turned steely. "There's nothing going on," he said. "And, if there were, I certainly wouldn't want to be talking about it!"

The big knights exchanged a glance. There was something there all right. "You can talk to us, Jon," Raoul said softly. "That's what friends are for, after all."

"I'm fine. I don't want to talk. Alanna and I are fine."

The young men sighed, fairly certain Jonathan would get angry if they pressed any more. Maybe Myles was having more luck.

He was, as he had the benefit of knowing some of the background. "So. What happened between you and Jonathan?" he asked, settling into the chair in his own study, glass of brandy in hand.

Alanna traced designs in the velvet of her chair. "Nothing," she lied. "Why do you ask?"

"You were avoiding each other at dinner," Myles said. "It wasn't very subtle. Did you have a fight?"

"No," she sighed. "He's just got a sore ego."

"Ah. What this time? Certainly not a match of skills, as you've beaten him before."

"If only it were so simple." She shook her head, then paused before meeting his eyes. "No, I told him I wouldn't marry him."

"I see." Myles lapsed into silence, sipping at his brandy. "How do you feel about that?"

"Fine. It was the right choice." Her answer came too quickly, and she knew it. She colored as Myles raised his eyebrow. "It's not like I had another choice, Myles. I can't be queen."

"Why not?"

"Look at me!" She finally met his eyes, fire burning in her famed purple eyes. "I'm the Court scandal. No matter how much you insist they've all gotten over the shock, I see how people look at me. I'm a scandal, and everyone knows it. Tortall will always see me as the girl who faked her sex for eight years – lied for eight years. A queen demands respect, and I'll never it get it. Especially not from the older nobles. On top of that-" She took a deep breath. "I killed Roger. No matter how evil I insist he was, some part of me knows that I'll never be forgiven for it."

"By who? Jonathan's forgiven you; the king and queen forgave you. You saved the queen's life, Alanna, and Jonathan's too. Who could fault you for that? And, as for your secret keeping, this Court needs a good scandal now and then. Keeps the old folks like me interested and alive."

She laughed briefly. "You aren't old." Myles laughed with her, forcing her to actually laugh, not to force the sound. They fell into a comfortable silence. "I don't know," she sighed. "What if I did make the wrong choice?"

"You still have time," Myles reminded her. "He's not betrothed yet, and he won't be for some time, I'd imagine. You have time to change your mind."

"What if he doesn't want to listen?"

The older man shrugged. "Make him. Since when do you take 'no' for an answer?"

Alanna is keeping me relatively sane right now for reasons I don't feel like getting into. Let's just say that there's a reason I credit these books with where I am now. Drop a review, hope you enjoyed.