Sorry about the delay. Kate's computer has been messed up lately and her friend's computer that she's using until her new one arrives doesn't have Word. So she asked me to write this chapter in her stead since she can't update for a while. Tell me what you think!
Kate's online friend, Mar :)
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Chapter 6: LINK'S A GIRL!? Well, not really…
Ilia's POV"Hey, sleepyhead, time to wake up. We have school today." I tried in vain to shake a slumbering Link up, but he refused to budge, only mumbling a few incoherent phrases before turning on his side and snoring loudly. I sighed angrily. Time for Plan B. I went into my bathroom and filled up a cup of freezing cold water. He was going to kill me for this, but…
"ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Link screamed, clawing at my face. Nope, he hadn't enjoyed the cool liquid down his shirt after all. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!"
"You need to wake up. We have school."
"You didn't have to pour water all over me! I'm still sick, remember?" he huffed, slowly getting out of the drenched bed.
"Believe me, I tried waking you up the normal way. It wasn't going to work." He blew out an angry breath and glared at me.
"You could've shrieked in my ear or something. It would've been better than this."
"You really don't know how heavily you sleep, do you? It wouldn't work." He kept glowering at me. "Just go to your house and change. Your mom's probably wondering where you are anyway. I'll meet you at school and bring your medicine." He scowled but did as I said. I sighed wearily and started to get ready.
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A group of jocks at the school all gathered around the leader's locker.
"What'd you want, Fad?" one guy asked.
"You know Link's sick, right?" the one christened Fad confirmed. Everyone nodded their heads, and he continued. "Well, we seriously need to prank him."
"How's that gonna work?" another guy, Purlo, interrupted.
"Simple. You know Heather?"
"Heather the girl, or Heather the gay guy?"
"Heather the gay guy. Well, he always keeps female hormones in his locker and takes one between classes. He's seriously messed up." Fad, actually named Fado, got sidetracked thinking about the weird guy.
"What does this have to do with pranking Link?"
"Well, since Link's sick, he has to take two ibuprofen at lunch. We get both containers of pills before lunch and switch the contents. When Link takes the pills at lunch, then BAM! He'll be acting like a chick the rest of the day."
"Awesome!" the other guys chorused. Then they set off to begin their plan.
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Ilia's POV
Link was waiting for me at the school, and he still didn't look very happy. I rolled my eyes and threw the ibuprofen at him. His eyes didn't ever leave my face as his hand shot out and he caught it. I have to admit, all that 'hero' work had really upped his reflexes.
"Hey, Wilma!" I yelled as loud as possible and waved. I got a few odd looks from people still outside, and I got a dirty look from Link. I couldn't help but grin. He scowled deeper.
"Don't. Call. Me. That!" If looks could kill…
"Whatever. And just so you know, I didn't actually think Malon would post that. I was joking, alright? She just took it the wrong way." He kept glaring, so I flicked him on the nose. "Get over it. And if you look at the bright side, it already has over a million views."
"That's not a bright side."
"Well, you're more famous."
"For being a complete and total idiot." He deadpanned.
"You're a complete and total idiot all the time." I countered. He sighed.
"Touché." I grinned and ruffled his hair.
"That's my boy." I shouldered my backpack and walked into school. He reluctantly followed.
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"Come on, guys. Pur, you got Link's combo? And you have Heather's, Coro?" Purlo nodded and Coro shivered.
"Yeah, dude. You do not want to know the things I had to do to get him to give it to me…" he trailed off, while the rest of the guys cringed.
"Well, sorry about that, but let's do this thing!" he crowed, and all the other guys joined in.
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Link's POVI grabbed by ibuprofen and took two tablets with my lunch. Hmm…these seemed slightly bigger than the ones I took last night. That's weird…
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Ilia's POVLink's been acting really strange today. I swore I saw him hitting on Fado. Maybe he really is gay…but no, I doubt it. I've caught him spying on Malon and me way too many times to count. But something's definitely up. Well, he was coming over after school, so maybe I'd figure it out then.
"Come on!" I yelled at Link. He frowned, then walked over to where I was standing.
"Do you think Purlo likes me? I mean, he's pretty hot…"
"What?!" I practically shrieked. Did Link seriously just call Purlo hot? I think my hearing's screwed up…
"Maybe he'll ask me to the dance." Nevermind. Link's just crazy. It was probably some kind of joke.
"Haha, very funny, Link. I know you're not really gay, however much I call you that." He just gave me a blank look.
"Huh?" he asked eloquently. I rolled my eyes at him.
"You can cut the act." I told him.
"What act?" was he actually…sincere?
"You know what? Nevermind." He shrugged and we walked back to my house.
We played Guitar Hero III for a couple of hours before we got bored. Then we played a game of poker to kill some time. That got old, too, so I contemplated what we could do.
"Wanna watch a movie?" I asked.
"Sure." He shrugged.
"Well, what do you want to watch?"
"Hmm…I'm kinda in the mood for Patrick Dempsey." He replied. What?!
"Wait…you're saying you want to watch a chick flick?" I repeated slowly. He couldn't possibly be serious. Didn't he hang out with me because he didn't like movies like that?
"Mmhmm." He nodded. He's gone nuts. Scratch that. He's absolutely psycho.
"Oooookay then." I called Malon. She would probably have something we could watch. I was still waiting for the 'Gotcha!' or 'Ha!' when he finally told me this was all a big joke.
"Hello?" came the answer on the other line.
"Oh, thank goddess. Malon, that's you, right?"
"Unless my dad's voice suddenly changes to that of a sixteen year old girl, then it's always going to be me when you hear this voice."
"Okay, okay, I get it. But something's up with Link." I told her.
"Yeah, I was still under the impression that he had a very high yet hilarious fever." I rolled my eyes, knowing she couldn't see them.
"Other than that. He was hitting on Fado, then he called Purlo hot, and now he wants to watch a chick flick with Patrick Dempsey in it. It's really freaking me out." Instead of advice, I just heard loud snickering on the other end. "What?! I'm serious!"
"Hahahahaha…" breath "Link's…" breath "GAY!!! Hahahahaha…" I scowled on my end of the phone.
"It wouldn't be funny if you had to take care of him." I think she got over her laughing fit because she finally answered me.
"Actually, I think it'd be funnier."
"Whatever. Do know anything I could do to make him snap out of it? I still think it's a prank or something."
"You could try taking off your shirt and see how he reacts."
"EW! NO WAY!"
"Ok, then. You asked if I had any ideas and that was it."
"How about you come over and do that if you think it's such a good idea." I said, smirking.
"Heh, no."
"LIA!!! I wanna watch Pattie! Can you pleeeeaaaaaaaseeeee get me a movie?" Link's whiny voice cut into our conversation. I had to clamp a hand over my mouth to stop a laugh from coming out. Malon didn't bother.
"Did Link just call Patrick Dempsey 'Pattie'? I think I'm going to die a very happy death." Thus continued the long stream of giggles and laughter coming from a certain redheaded girl.
"OK! I know it's hilarious, but Link is getting whiny. Can I come over there to borrow a movie?" She continued laughing, but managed to get out a 'Sure'. I hung up the phone and sighed. This was going to be a long night.
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Link's POV
Ilia seemed to think I was crazy. I don't know why. I mean, I guess there was something weird with the way I was acting today but I just did what my heart told me to do. I mean, Fado was looking pretty good with his muscle showing jean jacket, and Purlo really did look hot. Look at his sandy brown hair and hazel eyes and tell me he doesn't look hot. Then Ilia got this weird look on her face when I asked her if we could watch a movie with Patrick Dempsey in it. What can I say? That guy is dreamy. I heard the door open and Ilia call "I'm back!" I squirmed in my seat. I couldn't wait to watch this movie.
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Ilia's POV
I walked in the door after my adventure to Malon's house with the movie Made of Honor in my hands. I don't know how I was supposed to watch this without puking, but I have to try my best, for Link's sake. "I'm back!" I called to Link. I could've sworn I heard him squeal. I hope not.
I entered the living room to see Link bouncing up in down in his seat. This frightened me. But I steeled myself and put the DVD into the player, then turned on the TV. I was able to sit through the first half without hurling. After that I started to feel a bit queasy so I got up to make us some popcorn. As I was waiting for the familiar 'bleep' of the microwave, I heard an excited squeal emit from Link's mouth. I cringed and looked around the doorway to see what was the big deal. What I saw made me want to bang my head on something really hard. Patrick Dempsey had walked onscreen without a shirt on. I really need to figure out what's wrong with Link. I picked up the phone to call Malon, wondering if she could help. She'd probably just start laughing hysterically again.
"Hello?" I heard a sleepy voice.
"He squealed." I deadpanned.
"Huh?"
"Link. He squealed when he saw Patrick Dempsey shirtless." I think that woke her up.
"He what? Are the goddesses playing some sick joke on me by making my dreams come true then crushing them by waking me up?" Where was a table? The urge to hit my head on something just got stronger.
"You dream about Link squealing over another guy? You have some seriously screwed up dreams, Mal." I could practically hear her scowling over the other end.
"You know that's not what I meant. But seriously---wait, what's that sound?" I didn't hear the rest of what she had to say because Link's loud voice interrupted.
"WHAT! Why wouldn't you take him?! He's perfect! Pattie, I'm here for you! I'll love you!" I heard a sob. Okay, I was scared. Like, serial killer outside your window scared.
"Link?" I asked tentatively. "Are you alright?" My voice came out squeaky but I didn't care. This was freaking horrifying.
"No I'm not alright! That stupid woman doesn't see what's right in front of her eyes!" He turned puffy eyes towards me. Okay, he'd been crying? I need a corner to go hide in.
"Ilia? ILIA!" I jumped at the sound of Malon's voice. I had totally forgotten she was on the phone.
"Yeah?" I answered.
"What in Agnes name is going on?"
"I really don't know. And I really, really don't want to." I tried to make my voice go steady, but it wasn't working.
"Are you okay? You sound like you're on the verge of a panic attack." She sounded really concerned. She should be.
"I know. I probably am."
"Well, just hold on in there. Hey, I got to go. I'll call you tomorrow, if you're still alive." The line on the other side went dead. I was all alone now. I involuntarily shivered.
"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Why won't you give him a chance?" Link wailed. Okay, I really needed to confront this. I took a deep breath and walked into the living room.
"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked him. He ran over to me and gave me a big hug. I think I squeaked.
"She won't take him." He sobbed against me. I hesitantly patted his back. "And he's so sad. It kills me to see him so heartbroken."
"I'm sure she'll see the true him and then they'll live happily ever after." I soothed, rubbing his back. I didn't know what else to do.
"But—but she's so absorbed in that Scottish guy. I mean, he's great, but he's not Pattie."
"I know, I know. Don't worry, Link, she'll realize she loves him in the end. I'm sure of it." I continued to rub his back while I thought of something I could do. "See look! She just rejected Colin for him! Everything's o—ouch! That must've hurt. But she still loves him and not the crazy Colin dude. So it's all okay." He sniffed and looked up at me thankfully.
"I'm so glad I have you. My life would be incomplete without you." He beamed.
"Uh…thanks?" I was really creeped out by his crazy mood swings. He then pulled away from me and started cheering. I think it woke my dad up because he soon came down the stairs and gave Link a weird look.
"Is he alright?" He gave me a puzzled look.
"No."
"Has he had any funny drugs today?"
"No…just his ibuprofen—oh my gods, his ibuprofen!" I ran over to where his book bag was sitting and pulled the small bottle out of it. I twisted the lid off and looked at the contents. Aha. The pills were slightly bigger and the letters printed on them were different. I guess Link hadn't noticed and taken a couple of these today. I wonder who gave them to him…I did notice Fado and his groupies gathered around their lockers today…oh, they were soooo dead.
"Link?"
"Yeah?" His head shot up and he trotted over to me happily. Weird…
"Did you notice anything different about the ibuprofen you took at lunch today?" I scrutinized his face closely. He seemed confused.
"They did seem kind of odd…but other than that, no." he didn't seem to be concerned about this.
"Well, someone switched your ibuprofen with female hormone pills." I told him.
"What?! Wait…what does that mean?"
"It means that you've been acting slightly…homo-ish all day when you're really not."
"So I'm not really in love with Patrick?" he seemed crushed.
I sighed. "No, Link, you're not. Just go to sleep and when you wake up this will all just seem like a bad dream."
"Okay…" he sounded depressed as he grabbed his pajamas from where he kept them in our closet and went to the bathroom to change.
"Wait…" I turned around to see my dad walking towards me. "Are you saying someone gave Link pills to make him act like a girl?" I slowly nodded, wondering at what he was getting at. He kept his face serious for a few seconds before bursting out in the booming laughter of his. Somehow it reminded me of Malon…
"Hahahahahaha! That has got to be the best prank I've seen yet!" He slapped his thigh merrily as Link emerged from the bathroom. He gave my dad a sort of glare thing before falling onto the couch and pulling the covers over his head.
"Well, goodnight, dad, I'm going to bed. This day has just been way too weird for me." With that I climbed up the stairs and collapsed into my bad, hoping that this was just some crazy, messed up dream.
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So…tell me what you think of me in review! Kate helped me a little bit, but she couldn't really edit anything into it. But she'll soon be back. Until then, though, you're stuck with me. Hope you enjoyed!