Diana hurried back to her room, feeling sweaty all over her body. That meeting didn't go as well as she hoped. Well, she could understand that they wanted to test her but they could have been more sincere about it. She especially did not like the man called Joris, trying not to think about it, she called for a bath. Waiting for it to get filled, she paced in the hallway.
"You look like you've seen a ghost, my dear." She turned rapidly and almost stumbled in the assassin's arms. "Tsk, tsk, you want a go for old time's sakes? I can comply if you wish." Diana couldn't control herself and slapped him hard on the cheek. All the anger that was boiling within her finally got its release.
Zevran seemed surprised and when he faced her again, she slapped him on the other cheek. "I don't have time for any more assholes!" Diana yelled and when she tried to hit him the third time, he grabbed both her wrists tightly and slammed her against the nearby wall, having her hands on the sides. Feeling his hot breath upon her neck, her pulse was raising at the same speed as the heart. The intimate tingling in her belly escalated. She shuddered, longing to be with him. Bah, she hated how much power he still had over her. His eyes were angry, and he pushed her more into the wall, so their abdomens connected. She whimpered by the sweet feelings.
"Oh, you wish to fight, do you, Warden?"
Diana knew she could easily push him back if she wanted to but didn't. She let him dominate her. But the jealousy got the better of her;
"Don't you have somewhere to be, with a whore maybe? You shouldn't waste your time with silly little me!"
He got even closer to her, and whispered in her ear. Maker, she smelled his leather, at least that was not tainted.
"I'm worn out, but if you have want to tire me further, I would be more then happy to oblige!"
"I hate you!" She hissed back, not meaning it, but it felt good to say it.
He let go of her, leaving her in her desperate need. Still standing close to her, "Do not worry. I won't be staying around for more of your hate." He turned away from her.
What?
"What do you mean?" She panted.
"It means I'm planning to head back home. My oath is fulfilled is it not? You have no further need of me and nor I of you."
Gosh, he can really sound cruel, she thought.
"When and won't the Crows chop you into pieces if you return?" she asked.
"I suspect they might, I do know their ways so I think I have fair chance. The next ship sails in two months. I really do not wish to travel by foot, so you will have to survive in my incredible sexy presence for a bit longer."
"Oh believe me, I can handle it." She said a bit over-confidant, hiding her craving.
"Yes, I suppose that's true. You have your shiny knight to pick up the pieces I left behind, hm? Tell me pet, is he better? Because I can't recall hearing you screaming his name like you do with mine." he smirked at her. She just realized something.
"Oh, you are actually jealous!"
Zevran looked shocked.
"Why should I be? I'm content with what I get."
"Then why do you ask if I am?" She smiled at him, pacing slowly towards him.
He snorted in response and tried to get away from her touch. She walked in front of him and put a hand to his chest. His eyes were flickering, trying to focus anywhere but her. She smiled to herself in triumph and felt cocky.
"You didn't answer."
"Nor do I feel the need to!" he snapped, trying to get past her. She blocked his way.
"You're going to have to use force to get past me." She said seductively.
His eyebrows raised, "Oh, I should remember. You like it hard!" He grabbed her shoulders, before he could do anything else, she pushed herself against him, connecting their bodies once again. He reacted and shoved her back against the wall. With almost no space between their lips, she felt a jolt, feeling like electricity going through her spine. He groaned when he felt her body against his.
"What game are you playing at?" She asked in a low whisper.
"Game? Everything is a game, my dear." he responded in a growl, closing his eyes.
"Why are you deliberately trying to hurt me?"
Diana noticed sweat on the man's face. She had never seen him sweat before except when they were..., she cut that thought out of her mind, trying to focus. He shifted his position, pushing himself away from her.
"Deliberately? My fair Warden, don't act so surprised."
She slapped herself mentally, what did she expect. Gosh, can she feel more worthless?
He straightened his armor, and did not look at her. Diana couldn't help but notice that he actually looked sad, that was probably her imagination though.
Taking a deep breath, "Zevran. Why did you pretend to actually care for me? And don't give a bullshit answer that you only did it for the sex since we haven't really done it that much, given the circumstances!" She now had him pushed against the opposite wall, with her finger at his chest. She could feel his heart pumping rapidly and hard. He snatched her hand away, his eyes filled with hate for what she had revealed.
"Why-" he interrupted her by hissing in her ear, "Now you know!" and he walked away.
What? What was that supposed to mean?!
She stood still trying to comprehend the information handed to her. "You bath is ready, m'lady" the servant said in a tiny voice. "Thank you." She mumbled while going in her room. She took of her dress, and glided in the bath. It was warm and filled with oils. The room had a strong scent of roses. She felt like she was in paradise when being in the water.
Now you know, what could he mean by that? It was a cheap answer though and he got away easily. Bah! She finally had him, and he slipped away. He's leaving as well in two months. She didn't want him to go away, even though after the shit he had put her through. If she could get an honest answer from him then she could accept it, maybe. Diana leaned back, took some water and wet her face.
Love really, really sucks when it has to be like this.
"I still love you, you bastard." She muttered under her breath.
--
That was close. To close. Zevran panted as he finally made it back to his room. He threw the mirror on the ground and let out a angry yell. He was near of losing himself back there. At least there he could thank himself for being raised in a whore house for the little self-restraint he had.
You really are pathetic! A laughing stock for what you once were.
Shut up.
You even made that whore laugh in your face, when you couldn't get it up.
Shut up!
Because you care to much about her still, don't you?
SHUT UP!
Zevran hated his mind these days, since some foe impersonating Diana's voice made him confront about his true feelings. He caressed his forehead with his palm, trying to get the sweat away.
'Now you know', why did you say that? That was kind of obvious.
It was the best I could come up with!
Not much for brains, I see.
Oh sarcasm in my own head. This can't get much better!
His pulse was still high, and his heart still pumping as if it would break through his chest.
You do know if you could find a servant or a maiden now that would be willing, you could easily get it over with given your...current state.
Remind me, how is having sex with strangers helping me?
Getting over the sexual pleasure of being with her of course!
No one can replace her...
Psh, you really are weak. What would you do without me?
Actually getting what I wish.
Ouch!
I hate you.
Well I'm sticking around your sorry ass until you are on your way home.
I'm so thrilled. Zevran thought bitterly.
He blocked her voice out, and went to bed. He still had her cloak with him. Obviously it was a lie that a girl was in his room that night. He had acted on his impulsions to go to her room which was foolish. Seeing Alistair there kissing her perplexed him. Being a good actor when he wants to be, he lied. The cloak had her rosy scent, he wrapped himself in, smelling the fragrance from her. He had been hurt when he saw her with him, it felt like a lighting striking his heart, but it was by his doing so he shouldn't even get upset. Wasn't it the plan? To hurt her so she could get over him, and in the process hopefully do the same to him. That plan backfired tremendously. He loved her and his need for her was greater then ever. Him hurting her was only causing pain, even if she didn't believe it, both of them suffered.
Really, stop acting like a drama queen! Diana's voice giggled.
I thought I blocked you out.
Real nice, and no, I'm in your mind, stupid, you can't just block me out!
Apparently.
Your struggle with your feelings is hilarious.
I am amused that you find that so.
Let me ask you this; What do you want?
You know already that if you are in my mind, do you not?
Spell it out for me!
I want her! To be with her!
And why can't you?
Zevran sighed, and searched in his pocket for the earring. He held it in front of him, it was really shining.
Zeeeevran, Diana's voice was singing.
Because I'm a coward. The thought of giving myself completely to her, stand by it and risk to get hurt in the future.
And?
And she's pregnant, she should be with the father of the child.
There it is!
You are enjoying this to much.
Yup!
He groaned, almost ripping the cloak apart. Seeing her face, laughing and happy. At least in his dreams, he had her, only to himself.
--
She had been summoned to one of the more private chambers in the palace by Alistair. It had been one week since the incident with the other Wardens and she had been by herself mostly, training and meditating. It really helped against her raging hormones and nausea. The king hadn't visited her, she assumed he was busy with his new job, and being with her brother. When she arrived, she inspected the room. It was a dark wooden desk in the middle of it with a wooden chair, a fireplace that was lit in the back of the room, next to the large window, where a raven was sitting. She also noticed two bookcases filled with books and a couch in the corner. Alistair looked outside the window, playing with the bird when she came.
"I'm happy you came." He sounded exhausted and gestured her to sit on the couch.
"I've been quite busy lately, I'm sorry I haven't visited you." he continued.
"Oh, it's fine, really."
He sat down on the couch, next to her.
"How are you feeling?"
"Oh, me, I feel like a springy chicken!" She chuckled.
"How are you?" She added in a worried tone.
"Oh, me. I feel like I have been drunk the entire week, and now the hang-over kicks in. I have a really bad headache."He answered, while rubbing his temples.
"The Orlesian Wardens and I had a rather nice time yelling at each other. Let's just say I'm no longer a popular ally since I refuse to let them get through with their stupid tests. The Commander won't stand for it obviously, and have already sent a letter regarding us to Weisshaupt where the senior Wardens reside."
"That letter does not contain anything good about us, does it?"
"Not really no. I can't care less. They could have hurt our child." He put his hand on her belly, it was still flat.
"You do know that you can't feel it just yet." She answered his bewilderment.
He smiled, "The Orlesians are staying at Eamon's estate for the moment."
"Since you refused to let them go through with the testing, I guess they don't need my presence at all. Do they?"
"If they do, I'll be by your side and I won't let them hurt you!"
"I'm perfectly capable of handling myself you know."
"Yes I know. Anyway other then the Warden business, I have tended to the usual king matters. I'm just grateful that Eamon is by my side for now, before I can handle this like a real leader. I'm so not used to this. It is a real pain sometimes."
"You would do fine without Eamon as well I bet."
He chuckled in response.
"Alistair. I was thinking about Morrigan-"
"You still on about that?" he sighed.
"Yes, when the child is born. I will go after her. She should have hers pretty soon after me."
"You have no proof that she actually is pregnant, especially with demon bastard thing."
"No, but what if I am right?"
"You are in no condition to go after her after your birth. For obvious reasons." He started to sound upset. Diana dropped the subject for now. They sat in silent, just listening to the noise coming from the fire place.
"Have you given my offer any more thoughts?"
Diana's heart skipped a beat, "I'm still thinking about it."
"If you become queen, they can't touch you!"
"Of course they can, I'm a Grey Warden. That doesn't disappear because of some title!"
"It did for me apparently. Those Orlesians treated me as the king not as a Warden."
"Still...they consider me a threat at the moment. They won't stop."
"They would cause a war upon them if they tried hurting the queen. And I have a feeling the Empress does not want that."
"That's true."
"I'm sorry to push you Diana, but I have a lot of pressure from the nobles and Eamon considering this. If you not wish to get married fro whatever reason I need to find a bride, and I would rather stay with you, and our child. You would also need to resign all claims for the throne, since you would have my kid, if I need to chose another woman."
"What if you would actually like the bride?" She ignored the last part, that was just hilarious.
"I'm in love with you..." he whispered.
"I'm sorry that you are."
"And if I would find someone I would actually like while being married to you, I'll just have a secret affair right under your nose." He said happily.
Diana chuckled, "Well, that would work, wouldn't it?"
"And you can be with anyone you like. Have you talked to Zevran?"
"He's leaving for Antiva in two months." She said abruptly.
Alistair frowned, "really? Well maybe that's for the best. He did hurt you, and he's being an ass towards you. He does not deserve you!"
Diana sat silent. She would still have her free life if she would marry Alistair, it just meant she and her child would be protected. The protection of the baby is vital.
"Alistair," she took a deep breath and exhaled, feeling tingly in her stomach, "I agree."
He looked at her with shocked eyes.
"Just as you know what it means. I don't do it out of love. I do it for the sake of our child and protection!"
"I do know. Are you sure?"
"This is what you wanted and you start second-guessing?"
"Oh right. Sorry. Well um," red color emerging on the cheeks, "I will tell Eamon. He will be pleased." He patted her on the knee before leaving. Diana sat for a few minutes, days, months in the couch. She really couldn't tell the time, just thinking about the decision she had just made.
It will be good.
He will take care of the child and not expect anything from me in return.
She pulled back her hair, and left the study. Diana decided to take a walk by the nearby shore. She had just been stuck in the palace. It will do some good to take some fresh air and clear the thoughts.
As she strolled down the city to the lake, she sat down on the sand. It was nice, the sun was shining, feeling the wind blow through her hair. She took of her sandals and pushed her feet in the sand. Even the nausea seems to diminish.
"Well, well. What do we have here? Lost your way, love?"
Diana got up and looked behind her and saw the Orlesian Warden, Joris. He still had his leather armor, very much alike Zevran's, only that he was taller and more muscular.
"Don't call me love!" she sneered.
"Then what should I call you?" he crossed his arms, and walked closer to her.
"I think of several names that would suit you." eyeing her up and down. Diana took some steps backwards. He sniggered.
"You can just call me by my name!"
He pouted, "Now, where's the fun in that?"
"That's the point! Now if you excuse me!" She walked past him and grabbed her sandals. He grabbed her by the arm and she almost stumbled into him. Diana looked defiantly in his green eyes, he whispered tenderly in her ear which caused goosebumps on her arms;
"You should really tell the truth to the Commander. You aren't going to like what he going to do if he can't get the information. Also let me tell you, that the Wardens couldn't care less that you're pregnant. You can be a danger to all of us and they are going to do all in their power to prevent it to emerge." She snatched her arm back, but was standing still. "I don't know how I survived."
"Have you ever considered it might have to do with your pregnancy?" he actually sounded sincere.
Diana shook her head.
It can't be that, can it?
"And they told me that you were intelligent." There, the self-confidant bastard was back.
"You know what, I have the perfect nickname for you. Shithead!"
He laughed, "I can take it if I get to call you love." and he turned and started to walk back into the city.
Men!
Diana straightened her dress and went back to the palace, to Alistair's bedroom. She laid herself on the bed and waited for his return. The bed felt so nice and soon she fell asleep.
"Diana?" She felt Alistair shaking her shoulder lightly.
"mrrrmhhgh?"
"Why are you here?"
"I wanted to talk to you." She mumbled just remembering why she was there.
"Well here I am."
"I took a walk and one of the wardens bumped to me. It was Joris, and um, he warned me about not taking these tests will cause tremendous problems for us."
"He's just trying to scare you. You saw how he was when you first met him!"
"No, it's not that. I actually understand. They need to know I'm not dangerous for them. And it would be a relief for all of us to know that I am not."
"What about the baby?"
"Let's go talk to them. Do you have the time?"
"Yes I do. I still don't think this is a good idea!"
"Noted." she took his arm and pulled him with her as they headed towards the estate.