I don't own HP still and make no money here and it's all J.K.'s by rights.
AN: I have an audition tonight, so this is your regularly scheduled update. :D Also, I do try to get to everyone's reviews sooner or later. Hope I haven't missed too many of you. XOXO
Draco woke to the sweetness of a morning breeze across his cheek; the sound of running water filtering out of the bathroom; and gentle spots of sunlight dancing across the room as the curtains fluttered across the windows. Hermione wasn't lying next to him. It had to be early still, but she was up and in the bathroom, the door pulled to. He could feel the leftover heat from her body in the sheets next to him, felt the indent in the bed. His heart sped up.
Last night had really, truly happened. And after the first time, he'd held her in his arms a second time and they'd gone even longer, drowning in one another's lips, teeth, tongues. Hips moving hurriedly, frantic with emotion, then slow and languid seconds after. On and on, circling round one another until they'd stolen each other's breath straight away.
He took a deep breath now, closed his eyes again as he smelled her all over the room, all around him. He rolled over and buried his nose in her pillow, where her head had rested minutes before. Orange…juniper…and him. His scent, all over her bedclothes. He groaned. Merlin, if he wasn't ready to take her again from that thought alone.
The bathroom door opened and he rolled back quickly, eyes still closed. A second later he heard her voice.
"Draco? Are you awake?"
He kept very still, focused on breathing. She'd probably gotten up before him to avoid an awkward morning after scene, anyway. He heard her turn away, mumble something to herself. Then a soft hum filled the air and she continued to move about the room, pull on her jeans, a jumper, socks. He dared open one eye and saw her standing at her dresser, facing the mirror as she tugged her jumper straight and then put her mass of hair up in a ponytail.
He opened both eyes, sat up.
Her face…
"Hermione?" he murmured, voice raspy. She jumped and her eyes darted to his reflection. She'd been facing the mirror, but not really looking at herself, which was probably why she hadn't noticed anything.
"Draco," she said. "I thought you were asleep." He shook his head, rubbed at his eyes.
"Just woke up. Hermione…"
"Hmm?" She turned back to the dresser and continued to pull her hair back. Her eyes focused on her reflection. Her hands slowed as they finished putting her hair up, then dropped to her sides. She leaned forward.
"You noticed," he said and swung his legs from the bed, reaching for his pajamas. He put his legs through the bottoms and then stood, pulling them up.
Hermione didn't respond to him, just leaned forward and put a hand to her face. She ran her fingers over the scars.
"They've…they're…"
"Some of them faded," he finished for her and walked over to stand behind her. Her eyes left her reflection and darted over his, taking in his bare chest. She flushed prettily and eyed herself again.
"That's not normal," he said and she shook her head.
"It happened once…before…" Her voice trailed off again and there was a pregnant pause as a look of hatred covered her face; and she suddenly drew her hand back, clenching it tightly, and prepared to swing it forward into the mirror.
Draco caught her fist and she struggled against him, all trace of the calm, bright-eyed Hermione gone and replaced with a wild creature.
"No!" she yelled and kicked at him, trying to yank her wrist free. "Let go! Let me go-"
"Hermione, that's not the answer. Hermione-!"
He pinned her legs to the dresser front with his own and held her arms tightly to her sides. He gave her a slight shake and she shook her head, mouth still working in anger.
"God damn it all, Draco, let me- go! Let me…"
Without warning, she sagged against him and he slid his arms around her back, held her close. She wasn't crying, but she was breathing hard and despite her clothes he could feel her heart beating rapidly.
"Let me go," she whispered again. "I won't do anything."
"I can't know that," he replied evenly.
"Damn it, Draco-"
"Let her go, Draco."
Draco turned his head to find Lucius standing in the bedroom doorway, all dressed for the morning's chores, watching their silent power struggle with a cool expression on his face.
"Dad-"
"I'll go out to the barn with her."
"Dad, I don't think-"
Hermione was trembling in his arms from the shame of the encounter and the anger of what her own magic was doing to her, and she pressed her forehead to Draco's chest. She was feeling slightly more calm, and she cut him off.
"It's fine. Let me go."
He felt her press her lips to his chest, a gesture his father couldn't see, and he dropped his arms.
"Alright," he said. She didn't look up at him, just brushed past him and marched over to the door, where Lucius stepped out of her way. A second later he heard her stomping down the hallway. Lucius remained in the doorway, eying him for just a minute longer; and Draco felt his cheeks flush red before he set his jaw and returned his father's steely gaze.
He would not apologize for anything, anymore. He'd made his reparations. Lucius seemed to read something there, in his son's eyes, and a muscle in his own jaw twitched. Then he turned and was gone, following after Hermione.
Draco looked away, back at the mirror. He tried to look at himself critically, as he knew his father had done. But there was nothing there of interest, not to himself. The only thing in the room that interested him was Hermione's scent, still lingering on the air, and the way his skin burned where she'd pressed her lips to it, minutes before.
Hermione quickly drew on her boots and was out into the yard, hurrying towards the barn in no time. She was still angry, but not dangerously so, as she had been a minute ago; and she knew being around her horses would make her feel better. Perhaps she could even take Echo out again this morning…if her aching thighs could stand it.
The thought brought a flush of a different sort to her cheeks and she slowed down some, long enough to hear Lucius catching up to her. His long legs overtook hers in seconds and she glared up at him.
"I can take care of myself."
"As you were about to earlier, I assume?"
"Breaking things helps sometimes," she replied.
"I imagine it does. Talking can also help."
"There's nothing to talk about." She tried to put on an extra burst of speed, but he kept up with her easily. She wondered why until she noticed he wasn't using his cane. Hell. That was just great. Now she'd have two perfectly fit Malfoys bothering her all the fucking time. Bloody perfect.
"Isn't there?" he murmured. "I can think of several things we might discuss."
"Oh, such as?" she retorted, stopping out right and turning to face him. He stopped and gazed down at her, a pleasant expression on his face.
"My dear Hermione, if I have to spell it out for you, perhaps you're more mental than I first suspected."
She tried not to smile, she really did. But a second later she grinning, and biting her lip, and then swallowing an accidental snort. He let her have her moment and then began walking again. She followed him quickly.
"Alright, so which one of these items would you rather I talked about?" she asked as the reached the barn. "Would you like me to discuss Draco's sexual-"
He shuddered and cut her off. "That is one set of words I never want to hear from you in the same sentence again, Hermione."
She looked smug and preceded him into the barn. Served him right for even goading her in the first place. "Then what caught your fancy?"
"You know perfectly well what I'm referring to, Hermione. I don't particularly care what you decide to do with my son, as long as you don't tear one another to pieces. But your scars-"
"Are better this morning," she finished for him. She shrugged and reached for the halters and leads, then handed a few to him before setting off down the aisle. "You heard what I told Draco?"
"I admit, I didn't open the door until I heard you yelling. I was worried…" His voice trailed off and Hermione glanced back at him.
"Draco didn't hurt me, or force himself on me, if that's what you were afraid of. Things are…mutual."
"I suspected they were," he replied dryly. "But again, I have no desire to discuss that. It's your business."
"Thanks for that," she muttered and looped a halter over the filly they'd intruded on, weeks before. "As for the scars…yes, it happened before. Once. So I cut myself up again. Harry found me that time, but I'd already patched myself up, so it was obvious I wasn't actually trying to kill myself a second…" She paused and tightened the lead, then looped the line around a post. She moved on to the next stall down and did the same for that mare.
Lucius was quiet for a few minutes as he struggled with a colt and his companion. Hermione had to poke her head out of a stall to hear him when he started speaking again.
"So, your magic occasionally presents in this manner?"
"It tries," Hermione replied cheerily. "But I always beat it back."
"Except today, because Draco was with you."
"He won't be with me in another two and a half weeks," she responded and her voice was so ominously pleasant that Lucius paused and searched her out in the dim interior. His eyes caught hers over the top of a pony's back and he frowned.
"I sincerely hope you aren't serious."
She blinked at him, then turned back to the pony. Lucius wrapped the lead of the colt he was with around a hitch on the wall and marched across the aisle to Hermione. Without any warning, he grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a good shake.
"Don't you dare endanger yourself that way, ever again, or even joke about such things," he said softly. "You may find some amusement in such dark humor, but I can assure you, it would pain Draco dearly to hear you saying-"
She set her jaw and returned his gaze. "It's my life. And I'm not going to check out anytime soon. But if I prefer my scars- if I like them- that's my business and not yours, or your son's, no matter how many times I let him into my bed."
Lucius went very pale and looked as though he'd like very much to hit her, or kiss her, himself. Something- anything- to wipe that smug anger off her face.
My god, he thought. How many times did I look just like that? Was I really so obnoxious in my superiority?
He let her go and stepped back from her awkwardly. Hermione glanced away and her cheeks burned once again. She frowned, then looked back at him.
"I didn't mean that, Lucius," she said quietly. "I stopped…I stopped doing anything like that years ago. I promised Harry."
"You promised Potter and not Miss Weasley?" His voice sounded wry, if apologetic.
She gave a soft laugh. "Yeah. Ginny never made me promise her anything, except that I wouldn't leave her. Which I did, by moving out here. But she understood it all. Harry was the one who couldn't handle it." She sighed. "Anyway, when he found me the second time he made me promise…it seemed the least I could do. And I've held it up."
She turned back to the pony, finished fitting the halter. "So, that's it. It really was just dark humor, and I apologize. I know you must have been thinking of…anyhow, that's all it was. I promise."
"I apologize as well, Hermione," he replied and she glanced up at him again. His eyes were dark, serious and trained wholly on her. She shivered, looked away.
"Never mind. Ready to take the first round of these beauties out?" she asked him and he tilted his head in answer and walked back over to the two he'd prepared. She felt her shoulders relax and then led their little parade out the barn doors to the paddocks, where they deposited the first group of grazers, before making their way back to the barn to halter the others.
Time passed slowly and quickly for Hermione and Draco- slow in the gentle motions of everyday life, quick in the intake of breath and rapid heartbeats. Languid kisses at night, lazy afternoons at tea and the infernal encyclopedia. Fast gallops across the hills, hurried chases through the barn to find the new kittens. Then more slow cuddling once they'd been discovered. And over it all the bittersweet passage of the hours.
Lucius felt he might hardly exist, his own presence went so unnoticed…except when he caught himself staring at Hermione and she looked back at him- both, perhaps, wishing he'd been as brave as his son. Wishing he weren't so old, despite how strong he grew day after day. But it was mere fancy. Draco was the deserving one, in his youth. The one giving it all up to indulge a lonely witch during his last weeks as a wizard.
More days were gone before the quiet routine was broken by a visit from Ginny. Hermione had been inspecting her face again- the pesky scars had continued to fade, albeit more slowly after that first infuriating discovery; and she was just running a finger over one of the remaining red lines when she heard the knocking at the front door.
"Coming," she called and met Draco in the hall as he was unlatching the door.
"Thank you," she murmured to him and took the door handle from him to finish pulling it open. Their fingers brushed and she looked up at him. His eyes slid over her face intimately and then he was walking back into the living room, to his desk.
Ginny watched the entire exchange with pursed lips and both brows raised. She looked over at Draco, who was hunched over his books again, and then back at Hermione, who was also watching Draco.
"Hi," she said.
Hermione took a deep breath and her eyes darted over to Ginny. A second later she smiled.
"Ginny, come in."
"Thanks…I think."
Hermione glanced at Draco again and finally, with some effort, focused on her friend. She crossed her arms over her chest.
"Tea? Or are you here for a lesson? I didn't hear from you for a few days…"
"I know- I was at the Burrow most of the time. No phone," she explained with a shrug. Hermione nodded as she led her down the hall to the kitchen's other entrance, avoiding the living room.
"Of course. And how is everyone?"
"Wonderful," Ginny replied. "It's rather sickening. But Harry's been marvelous- visited nearly every day. And the children…" She paused as she saw Hermione's shoulders stiffen. "Hermione, I didn't-"
"It's ok, Ginny. I want to hear about them," she said firmly and filled the kettle. She turned around and eyed her friend.
Ginny took in Hermione's now relaxed stance, the flush in her cheeks, the gloss of her hair. The much improved appearance of the left half of her face.
"I don't care which one you're sleeping with," Ginny began, "but it's working for you. Keep it up."
Hermione's jaw dropped. "Ginny!"
"Well, so what? What did you expect me to say? Nothing, when you're looking better than you have in years? And you haven't tried to put them back, I see."
Hermione's hand crept to her face again. "I…it didn't seem worth it, this time."
Ginny smiled broadly and burst into tears.
"Oh, Ginny…"
"No, no," the red haired witch murmured, waving a hand as Hermione walked over to her and gave her a large hug. "It's alright. I'm just so…pleased, you know? It's incredible, how everything is finally…"
"Leaving," Hermione supplied. "It is, isn't it? Like we've escaped from the cage a second time."
Ginny nodded. "That's it exactly. I've felt so bloody free the last two weeks I can hardly stand it." She pulled away and took Hermione's face in her hands, suddenly growing serious. "Oh, but Hermione- when they leave you won't- I mean…will you be alright?"
Hermione shrugged, gave her a small smile.
"Honestly? I don't know. I've been asking myself that the entire week, ever since…and I just don't know. But I don't really have much of a choice."
"You do," Ginny insisted. "You could ask him to stay- it is Draco, isn't it? I saw the way he looked at you. He'd do that, for you."
"I can't ask him to do that and I wouldn't want him to, either," Hermione replied, getting up to fetch the tea. "It's best this way. It's not like it means anything."
Ginny straightened up and stared at Hermione, confusion in her eyes. She'd seen the intimate gaze, the brush of fingers that had made them lean towards one another instinctively. In her world, that meant something. She opened her mouth, started to protest, but stopped.
If Hermione wasn't ready to admit there was more there than just sex, then nothing would convince her otherwise. She shook her head slightly as she reached up and took the tea cup from Hermione.
"Whatever you say, Hermione," she finally responded and Hermione gave her a perturbed look.
"I know what you're thinking, Ginny Weasley, and you'd better stop right now."
"Oh? What am I thinking?"
"Besides the usual dirty things about me and Malfoy Junior? You think we're secretly in lurv. You think I ought to get a new wand. You think I ought to move to a nice wizarding community. And you definitely think I should come to a Burrow Sunday dinner."
"That is not what I- Alright, fine. Yes, I was thinking all those things too, but it's not exactly new. And it's no more than you'll get from Harry, especially when he sees your face."
"Harry has no right to say anything to me about my face, or my habits."
"Well I do, damn it, Hermione, and I'm saying it now. You're my bloody best friend and we've both let one another do whatever the hell we wanted these last eight years because it was easier than trying to sort through our problems. No more. You're coming to the next Sunday dinner and you're bringing those two trouble makers with you or I'll…I'll…well, I'll think of something and it won't be very nice!"
Hermione gave Ginny an oh-really look and shook her head.
"Never in a million years," she said and Ginny leveled her best like-hell-you-won't gaze at her. Hermione sighed. "I'll have to ask them. If they don't want to go, that's it."
"Then we'll bring dinner here."
"Oh, come off it-"
"Mum is so mad about me acting somewhat normal again she'd happily pack up and come out here for the afternoon."
"Ginny," Hermione groaned.
"Don't make me beg. Don't make me call in every single favor you owe me."
"Every single favor I owe you?"
Ginny waved a hand. "You know what I mean. Also, I won't tell you about me and Harry."
Hermione gaped. "Ginny Weasley! What about you and Harry?"
"Uh-uh. No, I don't think so. Not a word until you promise."
"How did we even get started on this in the first-"
"You brought it up." Ginny crossed her arms and sat back, stuck her nose in the air. Hermione sighed again.
"Ok. Fine. Sunday dinner, here. We'll make a bloody thing of it."
Ginny shrieked with glee and threw her arms about Hermione, who merely rolled her eyes and glared at the ceiling. But a second later a smile crept across her face and she wrapped her arms about Ginny as well, unable to help returning the happy embrace.
AN: This is all I have to say, here. Maybe ten chapters left? Meh. We'll see.
"The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy." Jim Rohn