Pf47: So then. A lot of Swordbird fans keep asking similar questions over and over again about the book. I've compiled a list of those questions, and I have it with me right now. How about an impromptu interview, guys?
Aska: That sounds great! I'm all for it.
Flame-back: Wait a minute. I thought Larry King from CNN was supposed to do all the interviewing.
Pf47: Yeah, well, the old guy is too busy with other celebrities to even consider you guys. Besides, this is "Swordbird Parodies", not "Larry King Live".
Alright, let's start. Question #1: How come you guys say "somebird" and not "someone"?
Aska: Well, isn't that proper grammar?
Pf47: Uhh…not really.
Cody: That's just how we speak. You humans say "someone" or "somebody" when you're referring to another random person. We say "somebird" when we're referring to a random bird.
Flame-back: It's a contextual and cultural difference in language.
Pf47: Hmm. Interesting.
Question #2: Why don't you guys migrate during the winter?
Flame-back: I don't see why the Sunrise tribe has to. I mean, we're pretty warm during the winter.
Aska: Some blue-jays do migrate, but our tribe likes to stay here during the winter. It's too much of a hassle to move all at once.
Pf47: Ducks, geese, and other migratory birds don't seem to have a problem moving in large groups.
Cody: Well that's because they're…well…they're ducks and geese.
Pf47: Alright.
Question #3: What are the ten things that annoy Aska the most?
Aska: What kind of a question is that?
Cody: A good type of question, Aska. How about I answer this one for you?
Aska: Wait, hold on, what—
Cody: Here are the top ten things that annoy Aska the most, organized in an ordered list.
#10: Lord Turnatt.
#9: Having to go through the trouble of summoning the Swordbird in order to defeat Turnatt.
#8: Lord Turnatt's lieutenants, Bug-eye, Slime-beak, and Flea-screech.
#7: Lord Turnatt's spy/assassin, Shadow ("There's something about him. I can just tell." ~Aska).
#6: People and birds who over-complain about their mild allergies.
#5: Flame-back and his infamous prank.
#4: Leroy Jenkins ("What kind of person or bird would rush into war screaming, 'Leeeeroooooy Jeeeeeenkiiiiiins!', as if it were all a game?" ~Aska).
#3: A group of fledglings that almost destroyed a Leasorn gem by playing catch with it.
#2: Lord Turnatt's bad habit of tapping his eye patch.
And #1…I don't know, I'll think of something.
Aska: I know what the number one most annoying thing for me is: Cody.
Cody: Aww, thanks Aska. That makes my list all the more accurate.
(Aska playfully wing swipes Cody)
(the two crack up laughing)
Pf47: I have to say, Cody, you really are the showman. I mean, showbird.
Flame-back: Hey! I thought I had that role.
Pf47: Yeah, sorry, Cody just knocked you off your pedestal.
Flame-back: What…
Pf47: Moving on.
Here's the final question—
Aska: That's it? Four questions? You must be terrible at organizing lists.
Pf47: Uh, no. For your information, there were several questions that I deemed unsuitable for this Fanfic. This is rated K+, you know.
Cody: What kind of questions, exactly?
Flame-back: As far as I could tell, some of them—
Pf47: Ahem, the fourth question. How did Stone-run Forest get its name?
(long pause)
Aska: We aren't too sure.
Pf47: Seriously? No idea whatsoever?
Flame-back: Hey, the forest was named a long time ago. No bird, at least none alive today, remembers where its name originated from.
Cody: C'mon, don't ask us something like that. I doubt you know how your hometown got its name.
Pf47: As a matter of fact, I do.
The great city of Portland, Oregon was first named by Lewis and Clark, I think. It might have been them or someone else, I dunno. Anyway, the two choices for the city's name were Portland and Boston. The early pioneers had a habit of naming cities in the west after cities along the east coast. So, Portland could have been named after Portland, Maine, or Boston, Massachusetts.
I guess Lewis and Clark were lazy, because the way they decided the city's name was by—get this—a coin toss. That's right. It was fate itself, and the 50-50 probability of the toss, that ultimately gave Portland, Oregon its name. We could have easily been named Boston, Oregon.
Cody: No way! That's got to be an urban legend or something.
Pf47: I'm pretty sure it's true. I think. Yeah, you might have a point about it being a myth, but all my sources say that's how Portland was named.
Aska: You keep mentioning your "sources". Care to tell us who they are?
Pf47: I'm not allowed to disclose that information.
Aska: What!? You come on to Fanfiction and mouth off about us all you want, yet you're not going to tell us some of your personal information?
Pf47: Why should I? There's a reason it's personal information.
Anyway, this concludes our impromptu interview with the cast of Swordbird.
Aska: I can't believe it's over already.
Pf47: It has to end because I have other things about Swordbird that I need to talk about.
Aska: And we aren't included? Gosh, Peregrine, you're so unfair.
(Aska pouts and flies out of the room in a huff)
Cody: Oh please, Aska…
(Cody follows her)
(long pause)
Flame-back: I'm hungry. I think I'll go get something to eat.
Pf47: You better not eat out of my fridge.
Flame-back: Don't worry. I hate frozen food anyway.
(Flame-back flies out of the room)
Pf47: Finally. I can actually speak now without those birds interrupting me.