Aska: Hey. I'm Aska, as you probably know. Peregrinefalcon47 was about to continue with his little "parody", but I've got a story so much better than his excuse for comedy.
This story is about Peregrine's deep affection for a certain girl. Yes, you might think I'm obsessed with romance, but just bear with me, because this story is interesting. You see, Peregrine's first love was not for another peregrine falcon, but for a gyrfalcon.
A gyrfalcon.
Her name was Frea. Peregrine met her while he was roaming the northern regions of the world. Don't ask me what he was doing in the arctic, because I don't know.
Frea was a big gyrfalcon, but then most female birds of prey are like that. Raptors have what's called "reverse sexual dimorphism", where the female is often larger in size and weight than the male. (It's the technical biology term, alright? It's not implying any adult themes.) How that appealed to Peregrine remains a mystery to me, as do most birds of prey (Lord Turnatt included). Anyway, she was completely white, save for a few spots of black on her wings and chest. I guess she had to be if she lived in the arctic all her life.
From what I hear, Peregrine and Frea struck up a decent relationship. Isn't this ironic? Peregrine was mentioning Miltin and I as another strange aspect of Swordbird, when he himself was pairing with a gyrfalcon. I can imagine a blue-jay and robin couple, but a peregrine falcon and a gyrfalcon? That's a bit far-fetched…
Anyway. Their relationship came to a sudden, screeching halt with one specific incident. They were flying together one night under a clear sky. Apparently, there were these "northern lights" that were shining in the sky, and according to the gyrfalcons, the appearance of these lights signaled the most romantic part of the year, kind of the like the humans' "Valentine's Day".
Peregrine was flying a few feet above Frea when he hit a strong gust of wind. Out of reflex, he dove down and accidentally slammed into Frea's lower back. Peregrine saw it as an accident, but Frea didn't. She saw it as an unusually intimate touch, and felt deeply violated.
They split right at that moment. I think Frea ended up chasing Peregrine off. To this day, he still claims innocence, but I think Frea had good reason to ditch him.
So. Great story, huh? I told you it was interesting. You can go back to reading "Swordbird Parodies" now, though personally I'd advise not to continue reading that poorly written piece of satire.
Cody: Aska, your story can't be true, because it doesn't add up.
Aska: What are you talking about? Of course it's true.
Cody: Aska, you're saying that Peregrine's a peregrine falcon.
Aska: Well, yeah. Why else would he be called "Peregrinefalcon47"?
Cody: Aska, Peregrine's a human. "Peregrinefalcon47" is his Fanfiction pen name.
Aska: What are you…Wait, what? I don't get it.
(Cody shakes his head in disappointment)
Cody: Read on, Swordbird fans. I have to clarify something with Aska first.