Chapter 5

- Buffy.

- Hi, Willow.

- What happened? You don't look ok.

- That is because I'm not. I mean Angel… Angel…

She couldn't go on because her voice held so much emotion. Her eyes held unshed tears. Willow sat near Buffy in the bed and embraced her.

- It is hard, isn't?

- You don't know how much! Since I arrived here I can't think about anything else than the last time we saw each other back in Sunnydale. Was it for this that he left me? He seems so different now… and he forgot me. I found him early fighting in the streets and he didn't felt my presence.

- Oh, Buffy! You know this is not true. Angel will love you forever.

- Did you love Oz forever? You found Tara.

- I know, Buffy. Tara and Oz were so much alike. Maybe I was luckier than you, huh?

- How is that?

- I have two soulmates?

Willow grinned and Buffy smiled.

- I don't think this is the kind of thing that happens frequently. Buffy. You kept tabs on him and you probably know a lot we don't, but maybe you don't know it all. I don't think he would find someone like you.

- He did. Cordelia…

- Cord… Are you telling that Angel was… is in love with Cordelia?

- Yes. He is. You see. My men always prefer other woman in the end. Angel said he couldn't give me light, children and yada yada yada… but, boy, he found it with Cordelia… and I won't talk about Darla. I know I didn't love Riley, but it hurt to see him with his vampire whores. Sam… I felt so much inadequate.

- Darla???? Buffy, Darla is death remember?

- Willow… This firm that Angel is now working for brought her back from the dead to torment him. To drive him crazy. He slept with her to lose his soul.

Willow gaped with open mouth.

- I guess he didn't. But then, she was not you.

Buffy smiled sadly.

- Yes. I guess she was not… but… but it seems Cordelia took my place.

- Of course not. She may have been a professional whore, but true happiness just lies with you. And Cordelia… no way. As long as I know she changed a lot but I don't think it would make him forget you. No way!

- But he did. Now. He is here. Willow… in this place of all places. I know he can't leave… I can't explain to you why… but my instincts tell me this place will destroy him and his friends. I don't know what to do. I just saw him talking about some sort of sacrifice with a demon employee of his and he said afterwards that the sacrifices were to be done with blood donated by his employees instead of children. Can you believe that? My Angel would behead the demon clan than allow any sort of sacrifice. What did he have become?

- I don't know, Buffy, but I trust you can feel it. There is something wrong here.

- Yeah, I felt it too. I'll wait for a little and snoop around.

Chapter 6

Spike was sitting on his couch thinking about his meeting with the Slayer. She didn't react as he expected. It was almost as if she knew he was back and didn't care much. Yeah, he had felt she was happy for him… but he had also felt her heart was somewhere else. When she asked about the big Poof he understood.

- Whatever. She doesn't want me. I'll kill my pain.

Spike picked his videogame control.

- You made the biggest mistake of your life, and I'm gonna make you pay. Oh, yeah. Feel my wrath, gorilla throwing barrels. Bloody hell!!

Spike stopped to play when Doyle/Lindsey appear at his door.

- Really should knock on a bloke's door... especially one that's got no qualms about killing trespassers.

- Come on. Is that any way to talk to your benefactor? Just a little concerned about you. You haven't been out in the field lately.

- In case you haven't been keeping up with the sports pages, I got my bloody hands hacked off by that deranged slayer you sent me after.

- Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but, hey, your good old buddies at Wolfram & Hart managed to reattach them just fine, huh? You can sit around here and play video games.

- Rehab, mate. Working out the digits. You got no idea how rotten this feels.

- Amazingly enough, I do. Yeah. Got my hand cut off a few years back. Line of duty. So believe me when I tell you, I can feel your pain.

- Well, half of it, anyway. I'll give you that.

- Don't forget you got a job to do.

- The Powers That Be are counting on their champion. So are all the other helpless people—

- I don't need a pep talk, Doyle. I already plan on going out. You just get one of your visions to tell me when and where.

- That's what I like to hear.

Lindsey cell phone rang.

- Give a second.

Lindsey went out of the apartment.

- Eve. This is not a good time to call.

- We've got a big problem.

- Can't this wait?

- Kinda not. Buffy Summers is in the city.

- Really.

- She was talking with Angel before.

- How was it? I mean. How they react with each other. Maybe, since she is here we can make them… you know… go for the happiness thing.

- No. I don't think it will work. Of course, they still have feelings for each other, that was pathetically in sight for everyone to see, but I don't think they would do anything about it now. It seems the slayer and him believe he loves another.

Lindsey heard Spike screams.

- Come on! You stupid plumber!

- Well, now... I guess this calls for a change of plans.

Chapter 7

Angel walked off his private elevator into his apartment. He was tired. These last months were not a ride in the park. After going to bed and trash around for a while, he decided he was too much agitated to sleep and left his bed.

He knew why, of course. Buffy.

He could not think about anything other than Buffy. The smell of vanilla she was using was all around. It was making him remember things he didn't feel for so much time. He loved Cordelia, didn't he? Their love was calm and gentle contrary to what Buffy and he had before. Cordelia was a soothing warm breeze in his life. She had been Connor's surrogate mother and he was grateful for that. What they felt was so much in display that Lorne and Fred had picked it even before they had a real knowledge of their feelings for each other. He was left without ground when Buffy died, but he did go on. However, he couldn't be without Cordy. He fought to get her back after all. Doesn't it mean he was in love with her? He wanted to have a relationship with her when he hadn't wanted to have it with Buffy. He could have been with Cordy if it were not for Skip and Connor's actions. They would be together now.

However, like the little devil in the shoulder, a part of him was asking him why he'd screamed for Buffy when he was being unsouled to release Angelus so he'd tell what he knew about The Beast. A part of him was asking if gentle and warm was what he really wanted. A part of him was telling him he had wanted so much a relationship with Buffy that he'd left her so he would not have a moment of happiness just from talking to her. A part of him was asking him why he thought the reasons he gave to Buffy to leave her suddenly didn't apply to Cordelia Chase when he was so in love with the Slayer. He was confused, he really was.

He decided to go back to his office and work a little to take his mind of Buffy. They were once in love, but now his heart belonged to Cordelia, he resolved. She wasn't there with him; she was in a hospital bed in a forever comma it seemed. To think about it made his heart ache. He didn't want to betray her by thinking about Buffy either, but maybe he was thinking too much of her because of his loneliness.

Angel walked in his office and heard Doyle's voice. Buffy was sitting in one of the chairs watching an old tape of a promotional spot Cordelia and Doyle had made in the early days of Angel Investigations.

- If you need help, "then look no further. Angel investigations is the best. Our rats are low

- Rates.

- It says rats.

- Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope, you need someone that you can count on, and that's what you'll find here, someone who will go all the way, who'll protect you no matter what. So don't lose hope.

Chapter 8

Without looking behind, Buffy said.

- Sorry. I was snooping. I found this.

- No, it's—it's OK. I just... You couldn't sleep?

- No sleep for me. This place just gives me the wiggins.

- Been a long while since I've seen that.

- Interesting piece. His death must have been too hard on you… on both of you. The first soldier down. I'm really sorry.

- Yeah. Doyle pissed me off so righteously going out like that, but he knew. He knew what he had to do. Didn't compromise. Used his last breath to make sure I'd keep fighting. I get that now.

- Why?

- What?

- Why you took over this place?

- There are reasons I agreed to take over Wolfram & Hart, reasons you'd not understand.

- Angel… I… I know your reasons. Every one of them…

- You… you know?

- Yes.

- Did you… did you keep tabs on me?!

- Yes. And no… I'm not sorry or ashamed of it. You mean a lot to me and I couldn't let you here alone in LA when I moved to Europe to take care of the Slayers. After a while, I had a big picture of everything that went on in your life since the last time we saw each other in Sunnydale in a smoke street after some ascension. I know about Darla, about Connor. I know you love Cordelia. I know. But why didn't you come for me to help you? I know you don't love me anymore, but I'd like to think I am still a warrior.

Angel took a big gulp of unneeded air. He felt his insides contract with pain when he heard her say he didn't love her anymore. *Why are you like this? You don't… or do you?*

- They seduced you with all their fancy facilities, manpower. They threw a whole bunch of money at you, plied you with all these expensive toys and penthouses with spectacular views. A really spectacular view you can see through this extra-protected anti-UV glass window… anyway… they dazzled you with shiny objects and beautiful things and… and… in exchange for a new life to your son and here are you… no purpose… again.

- Buffy. You can't understand how it felt. He was the only thing I was sure in my unlife I would never have and there he was… hating me… wanting to blow up everything around him. I couldn't. They couldn't. They tell that I have some part in a big apocalypse, but the only thing important to me in that moment was my son safety.

- Angel… And for that you decided to change everyone memories…

Chapter 9

Angel was looking at Buffy and thinking how someone so out of his life could be so knowing. Buffy was a grown up, maybe she was always and he didn't want to see it. Buffy was also a powerful woman, she had this authority attitude that he loved. Was he still in love with her? Did he forgot? But he was the one suppose to remember. When she was around he could feel her, her perfume… he never felt that way with anyone, even Cordelia. It felt like everything they once felt was coming back to him… like those feelings never really left… they were just buried deep inside so he'd not feel the pain… the pain of her absence. It felt like his feelings for Cordelia's were just disappearing like they were never really there.

- Angel. Angel. Angel!?

- Huh? Oh, sorry. Buffy.

Her eyes were full of tears that she didn't bring herself to shed. He kneeled in front of her in his chair and took her face in his hands, but Buffy recoiled herself.

- And you are not mad with me?

- No. I know how it is to lose someone. I'd do anything to not lose someone I love… although not turn back time, but I… I understand your despair. I… killed you and died for Dawn, remember. Angel, I… I was serious when I said I'm sorry for what Andrew said. I won't lie to you. I did it once to hurt you and it came back to bite my ass. I know you love Cordelia and I don't blame you because you moved on. I just want you to know that I trust you. I came here to tell this personally because I know how it is to have people you love, people you think are friends, telling you they do not trust you.

Angel knew Buffy was talking about her sister and friends' betrayal just before the battle against The First. They dared to kick her out of her own house.

- Buffy. Can I… Can I hold you for a little?