Chapter 14

Angel and Buffy arrived at Eve's address an hour after the sun went down.

- Place is empty.

- Yeah. It seems like she knew we were coming.

- Now what? This is incriminating enough. Where would she go?

- The only place I can think of is Wolfram & Heart. Let's…

Angel saw a piece of paper with "run" written tied to Connor's photo in the wall near a window.

- Let's go!

Angel drove through LA breaking speed limits and every traffic light in the way. He arrived at Connor's house to see Connor's father car parked near the garage, while the family was being attacked by demons.

One of them ripped the back door off the SUV and pulled Connor out of the car, throwing him across the garden. The other demon went after Connor's parents in the car. In the front garden, Connor got to his feet and was fighting two of the demons that took him from the car.

Angel didn't even stopped his car completely and entered the fight knocking one of demons attacking Connor, while Buffy went after the one attacking Connor's parents. Connor looked at the strange fighting beside him for a moment and was amazed when Angel displayed so much punches and kicks. His moment of distraction ended when he was punched and throwed half way the garden to land in the door of his father's car.

Angel got angry, vamped out and ended the fight with his demon raising him over his head and slamming him into the ground. He ran to help his son fight the other demon, while looking for Buffy who was holding her own. Connor ended up finishing the other demon. Angel returned to his human visage before his son could look at him. Finally, father and son were looking at each other.

Buffy got distracted by the scene enough for the demon she was fighting to stab her in the side of her abdomen. She screamed and both men went to help her.

- Buffy!

- It's… it's ok! Just a little… cut… Nothing new… The First… I'll heal. God… it hurts! Is… is… your son… ok?

Angel looked alarmed to Connor who frowned his forehead.

- Yeah. The boy is ok. Are you ok?

Connor saw the amount of blood in Angel's hand when he turned around to talk to him. The strange seemed concerned with his and his family well being. For some reason, Connor felt like he knew the stranger and he felt safe with him.

- I'm ok. You… you… have to take her to a hospital. She is losing too much blood.

- I will.

Angel lifted Buffy in his arms and took her to his car being followed by Connor and his parents.

- Are you all ok?

Angel asked Connor's parents that were holding their daughter tightly. The father had his arm around Connor's back and shoulder.

- Yes, yes, yes. Thank you for help us. Don't worry about us… just take your friend to the hospital.

- Ok. Go inside and don't leave again.

Chapter 15

Buffy was in a bed in a private room in the hospital and Angel was the only one in the room. He had called W&H to tell his team and Willow about the attack on them. Buffy was not seriously hurt, but he wanted to stay with her because he knew she didn't like hospitals. He didn't go to see Cordelia, despite the fact she was in the same building. His only concern was Buffy.

He caressed Buffy's hair and leaned to kiss her forehead. He had just forgotten how comforting it was to hear her heart beat. For some reason, he found it was different from everyone else. He would be able to pick her in a crowd just from it apart from their connection.

Connection that was still there… despite everything he could still sense her as strongly as the first time he felt it so many years ago. Seeing her hurt… again… was giving him an epiphany… Man, he hated this word.

They say that you only realize how much something is important when you are about to lose it… or you have lost it. Buffy's accident was enough for him to think he'd lose her. He panicked when she passed out in the car during the ride to the hospital, Her heart was beating too slow and he prayed to all Gods she would make it. Pretty much he ripped the door of the hospital the same way he did years before after the bite that made her definitively his mate.

His mate. His soulmate. His destiny. That is what Buffy was, is and will forever be. No matter the distance, years without seeing, no matter if there will be someone elses…. Even if special someone elses, these people would forever be the second best in his life and for some reason he knew that it was the same for Buffy.

Finally, he realized that she still held his soul, his heart and his destiny. When he first saw her, he was fascinated by the need to protect she inspired. It took him so much time to understand why he wanted to protect her, why he cared for her when everything in him screamed to forget about it because of what happened in the Hyperion decades before. His heart wouldn't listen to his head. He wouldn't say he wasn't satisfied with it.

He read so many poetry since his soul took possession of his body again. Poetry about love, a feeling he could not really understand, at least not until he had rested his eyes on the slayer. He was in love. He knew it. He didn't need anyone to say it to him, he just knew it. And he wanted to protect her from him, from this feeling because he thought it was not fair to her… it would only cause pain. But still… she gave herself to him… completely. Completely enough to make him the happiest man on earth… twice he had lost his soul because of her.

On her seventh anniversary, he had experienced for the first time love in its full extension. He was not prepared. He remembered about sex, of course. He had practice as the human Liam and the soulless bastard Angelus, but he didn't know that love, true love, could make you feel so complete. That a girl could hold his heart in her hands and care for it as if it was her own. He felt human for the very first time ever… because even when he was human he was not really one. He had paid the price for it, of course.

Years later, to fight the big guy, his friends took his soul and he was Angelus again for a while. He dreamed of a nice life with his family and love with the woman of his dream, Cordelia. But, somewhere in his mind… in his heart better saying, that suggestion was rejected and he thought of Buffy, he screamed her name, and was him again.

Angel chuckled a little. Thank God it was a dream because he didn't think Cordelia would be happy if he called another girl's names, let alone Buffy, while they were… well… doing it. Was it fate, destiny, telling him he was out of his pathway???

Cordelia. He thought he loved her. Everyone thought so, didn't they? Lorne and Fred said they were champions and should be together. He believed it. He was alone and a part of him got desperate after he saw her when she came back from Heaven because he couldn't give her what he wanted. He couldn't be near her. He knew it. His demon knew it. He was still amazed that he hadn't lost his soul back there, but knowing she was back didn't make him completely happy because he knew that she wouldn't have been in any other place then Heaven… and she deserved to be there… stay there. A part of him knew his Buffy was pulled out of it, what was confirmed when he saw her.

He had had feelings for Cordelia, but were they feelings for Cordelia or the Buffy impersonation she decided to do? Besides, how could he have had feelings for Cordelia if he, a demon, couldn't even tell she was possessed with Jasmine? Back when Faith killed the mayor assistant and he saw Buffy in the street he knew something was wrong with her, even if she didn't tell him anything. He went around lurking. Besides, how can you love someone who called you so much bad names?

Chapter 16

Over the years, Cordelia changed, of course. After the whole thing with the Vocah, she took what they were doing more seriously. Back there he didn't notice it, but thinking now, she became some sort of carbon copy of Buffy. She cut her hair and died it blonde. She acquired some of Buffy's mannerisms. She became a champion idolized by them in some degree, which gave her an aura of ethereal, while his Buffy was a person, full of flaws, but loved by her friends. With time, Cordelia was not Cordelia anymore. He knew that Buffy had loved him besides everything, but would Cordelia do it? During their shared dreams, Buffy saw who Angelus was and what he did, but still kissed him with or without game face. Could Cordelia do the same? For some reason, he believed not. Cordelia never really knew him, but he could see now that part of her supposed feelings were nothing out of idolizing. He knew it was not her fault, but he couldn't avoid the comparison.

He also could think of his relationship with Buffy as everything that a relationship should have. For a while, he thought what they had was just first love, he had to admit it. He couldn't expect she would love him like that, although he was sure of his feelings when he recognized them for what they were. But, she showed him nothing out of love, devotion, selflessness, sacrifice and even restraint, when she could have had a normal life with someone who could give her everything, including making love.

Could he think of his life with her without feeling something other than gratitude? The first time he saw her and the days after it. The wait in Sunnydale. Their first kiss. Their first kiss with him wearing his vamp face. Their rings… the ones he still wore despite everything, mainly the one he gave to her and kept hidden after he found it in the mansion floor, the one he should have returned to the righteous owner. Their first night of love. The way she didn't let him die twice. The snow. The feeding. The way she let him go when the time came and understood that it was better that way. The day he was human. Could he only feel grateful for all of this? Or was there something more? He knew there was something more than gratitude. His heart squeezed with wanting, yearning for her and all of this again… still… forever. It was like his heart was being ripped out every time he thought about the day that wasn't.

He could go on, yes. He could. He would, but it was all numbing the pain, numbing the longing to be near her, just to know about her, how she was. With Cordelia or someone else in some time in the future, but Buffy would forever hold his true happiness. Maybe they could never had the ride to the sunset, but she would be forever stamped in his heart. He loved her not matter what. Maybe this is the real root of his feelings for other woman. They were not a menace to his soul. Even his demon knew it.

He was still thinking when he felt a hand over his head.

- Hey… a penny… for your… thoughts.

- Hey.

Buffy didn't say anything. She just stared at Angel's brown eyes. She wanted to bask again.

- What?

- Nothing. Connor…

- He is ok. I sent a team to watch out for them for the night. I hope we can solve this problem soon.

- You cried. When can I leave here?

Angel was amused for Buffy's change of subject.

- Buffy… you have to get over your hospital fear.

Angel left to get her out of the hospital and when he came back she was dressed already. She motioned for the door, but Angel entered her room and held her against his chest for a while. When she looked at him he bent down and kissed her full on the lips.

- Wow! What was…?

- I love you, Buffy. I still love you. Despite everything… and everyone… seeing you hurt yesterday made me realize that you are the woman I truly love. I was frightened. I know you are the slayer, but I was still frightened… not like a friend, not like an ex-boyfriend, not like an ex-lover, but like a man afraid his woman would die and he would never say again to her that he loves her. Never… ever… think that I don't love you.

Buffy couldn't say anything because she was crying. Angel pulled her in his chest and let her cry, while he was holding the most precious thing of his life besides his son.

Somewhere in W&H, someone attended a phone call.

- Did it work?

- Yes. He is worried about her and can't focus in anything else. He spent the night in the hospital and didn't came back yet. I think it is the right time for you to come in.

- Thank you. I think it would be better for you if you leave the building.