A/N: Oh my goodness. I think that this may well be the penultimate chapter of this utter madness. :O Rose has quite a bit more to say in this chapter, purely because I feel that she has been pretty quiet in previous ones and it all just fit. FINALLY, my command over the English language has returned! :D I'm happy with this chapter, and I hope you lot are too. If you are, you could always, oh, I dunno, drop me a casual review...I mean, whatever you wanna do... ;)

Jack pulled out his gun and fired wildly at the wall.

'JACK HARKNESS!' the Master shouted. 'For Christ's sake, you're even getting on my nerves now!'

'Yeesh, sorry!' Jack said, holding his hands up.

'Why were you shooting at it anyway?'

'Well, you weren't gonna give back the banana, so...yeah. I tried to destroy your scientific stuff.'

'And has your ingenious plan worked?' the Master said, indicating at the wall incredulously, which had hardly been damaged at all. 'No it hasn't! So very nearly indestructible, that thing, I made sure of it when I-'

The Master broke off as the sound of an alarm filled the room, and a computerized voice said blankly, 'Self-destruct sequence initiated. Please vacate the area.'

'Oh, who was the idiot that set that off?' he said, casting his eyes upwards.

Jack and Rose looked at eachother. 'The Doctor.'

'Hey, where's he gone?' Rose queried to no one in particular, looking around, confused.

'More importantly,' said the Master. 'Where's the banana gone?'

'Er, guys?' Jack said. 'Hate to worry you or anything, but we've kinda got a lair that's about to blow up on our hands here.' And with that, they all ran.

-o0o-

The Doctor raced down seemingly endless amounts of corridors, clutching the banana as if it held the meaning of life. He activated any and all alarms he could, despite the fact that the resulting noise was rather irritating.

'Fire alarm activated. Please vacate the area using the nearest fire exit.'

He hadn't actually been thinking when he had smacked his hand down on to the self-destruct button, hadn't even read the warnings, but he knew that Rose, Jack and the Master would find a way out. And anyway, the running was the best part of the adventure, wasn't it?

Suddenly, he rushed straight into someone.

'Doctor?' Rose cried.

'Rose?'

'Come on, let's get outta here!' Jack whined.

And they all made a mad dash for the fire exit , when...

'Oh no.' the Doctor whispered.

'What, Doctor, what is it?'

'I've left the TARDIS upstairs.'

-o0o-

The Master rolled his eyes. 'You pillock.'

'OI.' the Doctor warned.

'Well...what do we do?' Rose asked worriedly. 'I mean, only you can fly the TARDIS, so...what's gonna happen? You aren't going back up there, surely.' The Master looked slightly offended by Rose's statement, and was about to start arguing that he too could fly a TARDIS, when Jack spoke up.

'Hey guys, immortal dude on the scene!' Jack said with a cheesey wave. 'Blow me up, whatever. I'll go back up there.'

'Yeah, immortal you may be, Jack, but can you fly a TARDIS?'

Jack paused, in thought. 'Well...instructions?'

'Eh?' the Master and Rose said, frowning.

'Give me basic instructions on how to get this thing outta here.'

'But what'll we do?' Rose wanted to know, indicating towards the rest of the group.

'Yeah,' the Master agreed. 'How are we going to get back to it? We don't know where you're going to land. And even if we do know, the place it does land will be about a thousand miles from here. I made sure that this place would be really difficult to get to, therefore it is most probably extremely difficult to find your way home from. It is a secret lair after all...'

'Then how did Rose get here?' the Doctor questioned.

'Teleport.'

'Ah.'

Suddenly, the computerized voice started up again. 'Self-destruct in sixty seconds. Counting down.'

'Oh, that's not fair!' the Doctor moaned as they dashed back up towards the TARDIS.

-o0o-

Once they were back upstairs, they all made a mad sprint for the blue box and waited for the Doctor to open the doors. Hastily patting at his pockets, the Doctor hopped from foot to foot anxiously as he tried to locate his key.

'Come on, Doctor, where's your key?' Jack said nervously.

'Oh, God, don't say I left it in my other suit...'

'You only have two?' the Master asked, eyebrows raised.

'Sonic screwdriver, then.' Rose said, trying to feign nonchalance.

'Must be in there too...'

'For the love of Gallifrey, Doctor, do you ever even stop and think for just a second, 'hey, wait, I might actually be making a big mistake here, leaving my key and my sonic screwdriver inside the TARDIS?' Because it might do you some good!' the Master groaned irritatedly.

'Twenty seconds until self-destruct.' the computerized voice piped up. 'Nineteen, eighteen...'

'Think, Doctor,' Rose said, staring at him earnestly. 'Is there anything else we could use to get in?'

'Erm..' the Doctor clicked his fingers at the TARDIS hopefully. When it's engines made the familiar sound but didn't move, the Doctor cried out in frustration. 'Dammit, girl, let me in!' And then he murmured to himself, 'I have to learn how to do that some day...'

'DOCTOR!' everyone screamed as the count down reached ten seconds until self-destruct.

The Doctor suddenly looked at the banana he was holding. It was still glowing radiantly, and he suddenly felt like he had a lightning bolt in his grip.

'Doctor,' Rose said in a low voice. 'What. Are we going to do?'

A/N: Ooh, tension! :D What do you think they're going to do, readers? Escape? Get blown up? Become gods? Let me know what you think... ;) Love you all! (No idea why I said that. But whatever.)