Oh my God. Did that seriously just happen? Did Neil just put his hand over mine? He was being so nice… and I totally believed him about Charlie lying to him. I was going to steer clear of Charlie.

But Neil. Neil. I kept replaying the scene in my head. His adorable smile. The way he looked straight at me when he spoke. The way he was confidant but was also kind of shy and embarrassed.

And yeah, I liked that I could make a guy nervous. I had never really been liked by a guy before. I thought that I was pretty, but I wasn't really sexy or anything, like a lot of the girls at my old school. And why would a guy put in the effort to get to know me if he was only after one thing?

But Neil was different. I could tell. Maybe not Charlie or any of the other boys, but Neil was.

"So…" I smiled at Neil. He was so awkward. Awkward and cute.

He smiled back. "So…"

I didn't say anything. I liked the silence. I almost wanted to hold his hand or something, like in the movies when the boy and the girl walk together and their hands start to touch but then pull away then again until they get closer and closer together.

I pushed that thought out of my head with a much more rational one – the fact that I had known Neil for… what? A day? And I was already thinking about us holding hands… I mean, I had to have a real conversation with him first.

I stopped and turned to him, about to say some random thing off the top of my head, which probably would have made me look like an idiot. Fortunately, Neil had the same idea. He stopped and turned towards me. "Do you… do you want to come to our study group tonight?"

"Study group," I repeated, smiling. There had been a few "study groups" at my last school as well, though people rarely got anything done.

Neil seemed to sense what I was getting at.

"No," he said, but he was smiling as well. "No, we really do study. Meeks makes sure of that. I mean, we talk about… other stuff… as well."

"Like?" I asked. I moved closer to him. I could smell his hair. He nudged me in the shoulder.

"Like… Knox and Chris and Chet."

"Chris and Chet? As in, Henley High's famous couple Chris and Chet?"

"You know them?"

"Know them? Everyone knows them. Someone says 'relationship', or 'couple', or 'boyfriend and girlfriend', or 'perfect for each other', you think Chris and Chet." She seemed a bit angry.

"Well Knox is in love with her."

"Chris? You can't be serious. He's too good for her."

"You haven't even met him yet."

"I still know. Anyone would be too good for her, including Chet Danbury and I don't even like him."

Neil looked at me. "What's up with you?" he asked. I looked away.

"Nothing," I answered. "And…I'd love to come to your study group tonight. No matter what you guys talk about."

Neil looked excited, and I couldn't help be excited with him. His smile lit up his face and I literally felt my heart thump a hundred beats per minute more than it should have.

Okay. Dinner might not be so bad.

We pushed open the doors to the dinner hall together. We walked together as people stared. We sat down together, got food together, laughed together. It was perfect. I felt like people were starting to notice Jillian in a good way, not just as the only girl there, or a sex symbol. Not that she was a sex symbol or anything. She was really pretty and pretty hot, but she wasn't flaunting what she had or anything. I almost got the feeling that she wanted to be a guy, to fade into the background. She had modestly pulled down her skirt and loosened her shirt so her… front… didn't seem so obvious. I was a little disappointed. I liked looking at her when she was dressed up.

I noticed Charlie waltz up to our table. He slid across from Jillian. "Charlie Dalton," he said slickly. I laughed.

Jillian extended her hand. "Jillian Walker," she said. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Only good things, I hope."

"Unfortunately, no," Jillian said. "Though I thank you postponing my Latin homework. It was quite difficult. Fortunately I had Neil there to help me. He's an excellent tutor." She looked at me and I smiled back.

Charlie didn't look worried. "Oh, right, Neil, our conversation. Sorry about that."

"Why would you do that?" I asked. "What did you hope to accomplish by making me late for my tutoring session?"

Jillian got up, mumbling something about using the restroom.

Charlie leaned in to me. "I just didn't want a girl to come between us, Neil. We've been friends for years. I don't want Jillian… distracting you from your friends."

"Is that code for you wanting her?" I asked.

Charlie rolled his eyes. "Of course it is, Neil. But still. I don't want you distracted from your studies just because she has a nice… chest area." He swirled his finger around his collarbone.

"A little lower, Charlie. Point a bit lower."

"So you have noticed her!"

It was my time to roll my eyes. "Seriously, Charlie, I really like Jillian. I really do. And she already thinks you're a creep." Charlie looked taken aback. "I invited her to the study group tonight. We'll see how it goes."

Charlie looked shocked. "Not the… Dead Poets meeting?" he said.

"No," I said firmly. "Just the study group." Charlie looked relieved. "But I don't know," I continued. "I think she might be Dead Poet material."

"We'll see how it goes," Charlie repeated. "Let's just see how it goes."

I didn't feel the need to remind him that his stint as Nuwanda, when he brought two girls to the cave and wrote a letter to Nolan asking for girls at Welton, almost got us all expelled.

Jillian returned just as Todd, Knox, Meeks, Cameron, and Pitts came to sit down. They looked surprised that Jillian was joining us, but they didn't say anything. I was grateful for this. I didn't need my friends asking the girl I liked why exactly she was sitting with me.

"Oh, Jillian, this is Todd, Knox, Meeks, Cameron, and Pitts." I pointed out each boy. "Guys, this is Jillian."

"We know," squeaked Cameron. I wondered if he had ever seen a girl before. Jillian smiled.

"Jillian's gonna join us tonight," I said. "For a study group."

"Cool," Pitts said, grinning. I hoped he was just being friendly – not too friendly or anything. I wondered if it was obvious if I liked her. I wondered if she liked me. I wondered what we looked like to other people. Then I realized that I was doing a lot of wondering and not enough just plain doing. It was time to take action.

"Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it." Jillian seemed relieved at their approval. I searched for a double meaning to her words but couldn't find any that would signify her being interested in any of them. Unfortunately, this included me, but I wasn't too worried. Jillian had a way of being elusive about what she really meant, which I really liked about her. Too bad this meant that I had no idea what was going on in her head.