Chapter 6: Remus' POV

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I walked into the library, and I saw the girl that had been haunting my every thought since I had caught her on the steps. And she was on the verge of tears.

Her thoughts must have been very far away, for I am hard to miss, and she walked straight into me. As a reflex, I wrapped my arms around her, tried to comfort her as her sobs began to reek havoc on her petite body.

While her face was hidden from view, I could see the stares of other people boring into our embrace. I did my best to shield her as I steered her into the deep corridors of the library. I'm sure the other people around us were thinking I would do something unforgivable. But I would never, could never do that. Especially to Lily.

We sat down together on a plush red couch, the same one I had sat on millions of times before, reading and reading. It nearly knew my favorite positions, and it welcomed me.

She was still crying heavily, and although I had absolutely no idea how to comfort anyone, let alone a girl, being with her seemed to come naturally to me.

I entwined my large hand with hers, my thumb resting on top of hers. Her pale, slim leg was resting against mine. Her feet feebly brushed the ground. I wrapped my other, unoccupied arm around her elfin body and began drawing absent patterns on her back. My mother did this for me before she died, and it would hopefully provide the same sense of security for her.

Lily buried her face deep in my side, and I could feel the desire growing in my chest. I wanted so much for it to be like this all the time, just without her crying. The feeling of her snuggled up against my chest was incredible. It felt right.

I wanted her to feel the same. Like it felt right to be in my arms. The physical attraction buzzing between us was enough to make my muscles jump, to rearrange themselves in an even closer position. But I wouldn't allow that. As it was, we were close, so very close. And it made me completely happy.

As the sobs that were once so violently shaking her body subsided into small sniffles, the tears still trickling down her face, she looked up at me.

My breath caught in my throat. I had truly never seen a more beautiful sight. Her lips were swollen from being scratched against my wool coat, and her cheeks were flushed from crying. The ridges around her eyes were red, bringing out the emerald green shade. Her eyelashes were dripping with her tears that she had once cried. They were so thick and dark, as if she was already wearing mascara, although I knew she wasn't.

It was in that moment, where I was staring into her eyes, I saw something I hadn't before. She wanted something, but I had no idea what. Almost as quickly as the look came, it was lost, replaced by a look of deep confusion.

I didn't want to move, and I didn't want her to think that I wanted to, so I stayed tracing the circles on her back. We were in the exact same position, even after she was finished crying.

I don't know whether it was my warmth, or my size, but it wasn't long before she fell asleep. Her eyelids were still swollen from crying, but her breathing was deep and peaceful.

I released my hand from her iron grip, and traced her face with a single finger. I feared this would be the last time I would be able to hold her like this, for her to be this close. I knew it wasn't long before James claimed her and became territorial.

Needless to say, I was quite put out, even Lily's lips, pulled into a smile wouldn't help my mood.

We sat there for a long time, her head rested against my side, her free hand grabbing the fabric at my chest. It took me a while to realize that there was someone else in the corridor, as my attention was quite compromised by the gorgeous girl sleeping on me.

It was Dumbledore.

A word never passed between us, but I could tell by the smug smile and wink he had for me that he was proud. Proud that I was getting the girl in my own special way, and not for selfish reasons.

He then whispered, "I told you so," before Apparating out of the room.

As he left, Lily began to stir, probably because of the movement I caused when waving at Dumbledore. I quickly grabbed her hand in mine and came up with a quick, but logical solution.

Her sleep-filled eyes looked up at me again, and after taking a deep breath and gulping, I said, "As much as I would love to remain here with you Lily, we have to go. It's nearly time for the Great Hall dinner. If you will allow me though, I would like to escort you," I knew my face betrayed all emotions: happiness and content.

"I'd love that," she said as we stood up. The loss of her body next to mine hit me like a ton of bricks, and to maintain a small amount of pleasure, I still held her hand.

As her observant eyes crept down her own arm to where our hands were entwined, she blushed. I was mortified. I never wanted her to feel like she had to do anything, let alone be an unwilling participant. I removed my hand from hers in the least obtrusive manner possible, and replaced it in a more chaste position on the small of her back.

I knew that walking out of the library, I had to steel myself for the stares and whispers I knew we would receive. After all, I was James' best friend, and yet I held the girl of his dreams.

When the looks became too much for me, who preferred being out of the spotlight, I had to speak to Lily, to warn her and explain, "James would never forgive me if he knew. I just wanted you to know, you can come to me with anything Albeit homework, or if you just need someone to talk to. I'm here for you Lily. And I rather enjoyed being close to you," I wanted to let her have a sense, even a small one of how I felt about her.

She pulled me closer, she was strong for a girl her size compared to me, "The same goes for you Remus. And I rather enjoyed being close to you. I shall have to cry far more often in your company so that I may be in that comfortable position," her eyes were shining with gratitude and gratefulness. I knew the feeling. And I understood.

I couldn't control myself any longer. I picked her up in a hug before momentarily spinning her around. She laughed out loud and I loved it. I loved seeing her happy.

When I set her down, she put her hands on my face and drew me close, before placing a resolute kiss on my cheek.

She swiveled around fast, bursting through the Great Halls' doors. I followed suit, trying to ignore the burning sensation her kiss had caused. It was as if I was seared on my cheek, in the most pleasant way possible.

I was sure I was flushed in embarrassment as I entered behind her. I didn't want her with James, not for a second. That much was sure.

I took my place on the left-hand side of James. He was glaring at me, and I could tell he used his detection skills to figure out what had happened.

"Why were you with Lily?!" He demanded angrily, nearly stomping his foot like a two-year-old.

Keeping my face down, I responded, "I was sitting in the library, and she walked in. We chatted and then came down here," it wasn't entirely a lie…

"Then why was she blushing?" He insisted, pushing to see there was no flirtation what-so-ever.

"She was blushing because in the hallway, she tripped and I caught her. She tried to laugh it off, but it was clear she was mortified. I promise you James, I won't take your girl. Not with your date coming up so soon," I added, hoping for the subject to cease before the real details came out, before my real intentions were revealed.

He huffed in acceptance, satisfied nothing had transpired between us that he should be jealous about. At least nothing he knew about…

"Alright, sorry man. I just, she means a lot to me, you know? I've worked pretty hard for her, taken a few beatings," he winked, and we both knew that it wasn't actual beatings that caused him pain, but the words she said.

I sniggered and put my head down, devouring the entire plate of steak, and some of Peter's. No matter how much I seemed to eat, my weight always stayed dangerously low.

From across a few tables, I could see her face, shining in the candle light as she laughed with her friends. I smiled, even when I wasn't with her she seemed to make me happy. She caught my eye and directed a brilliant smile in my direction, still thanking me for my performance earlier.

I winked back at her, and she blushed, although she was still smiling. She tried to mouth words to me, but I couldn't make them out, not in the noise of the hall.

Dinner was finished shortly after dessert and socialization. As all four of us, the Marauders, stood up and walked out, and soon after other Gryffindor students followed suit.

We were laughing in the hallway about some crude comment James had made about the fat lady.

As we turned the corner, Lily was standing there, and James rushed to see her. I gulped, strengthening my wall ten-fold. He gallantly grabbed her hand, but she shook it off, a look of defiance on her face. My hearing picked up and listened to their conversation.

"Just because I agreed to go to Hogsmede with you, doesn't mean I'm your girlfriend," she said, coldly.

"C'mon! It's only fair. At least until tomorrow, you should give me a fair chance," James ran his fingers through his untidy hair, something he did when he was nervous.

Whatever possessed Lily to agree was beyond me. James obviously had something that I didn't. As I watched the two walk away, hand in hand, a wave of disgust and nausea fell over me.

Soon, they were chatting as if they had been friends all their lives, and James made Lily laugh. Her beautiful, wonderful laugh.

I turned away before I could see anything else. I didn't want to.

I caught Lily's eye as I turned away, and I'm sure, even before I collected myself she could see the anguish on my face. Her's instantly turned crestfallen after looking at me. I gulped and turned away, nearly running out of the room.

I slammed the door to my dorm causing the entire room to shake. I knew I had to try to calm the shaking that ran from my scalp to my feet. It would only lead to even more uncontrollable feelings.

Why did this seem like the worst betrayal from her? Why did this hurt so much?

I had to rid of the feelings deeper than friendship before they overtook my every action, thought, emotion completely. It wouldn't be easy though…

I walked out of my dorm, feeling tormented outside. My face however, betrayed nothing. As I walked past the couch that once occupied the two love-birds. I focused my gaze on the door to the exit, ignoring my name being cried by a person I so very much wanted to take in my arms again.

But I couldn't stand the pain of everything, so I walked away. I knew what I was going to do, what I had to do in order to stay somewhat sane.

It wasn't until I reached the corridor I started running. Hard, fast. Anything to get away. The frustrated, angry yells at how I impolitely brushed passed seemed like nothing, like a boring hum in the corners of my mind. I pushed through the back doors, the doors I had used with my friends to escape late at night. Tonight would be different. I would not take their help. I was ready, I was ready to transform on my own. I didn't want, nor did I need their help.

I pushed myself faster, the grass staining my old shoes as I drew nearer to the Dark Forest. I didn't care about how dangerous it was, I could handle myself. I sprinted the last leg of my journey, into the deep, dark places the forest held. I didn't care about the dangers.

It was all me this time. And I wouldn't have it any other way.