Chapter 8: Lily's POV
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Okay, I had to admit. The last person I expected to see in my dorm at night was James Potter. But then again, surprises could be pleasant.
Earlier that day, he had demanded to hold my hand. And for whatever reason as I stared into those damn blue eyes of his, I agreed. He smiled with joy as he held it gingerly, as if he were scared I would smack him.
He steered me to the couch in the Great Room and had thanked me for giving him a chance, saying I wouldn't regret it. I said he was lucky, and he said, "I know. Far too lucky for my own good." At that, I laughed and we began chatting, asking each other the basic questions of favorites: favorite color, food, flower, animal, everything.
It wasn't until Remus passed us, so close on the couch that I felt guilty. His innocent face was twisted in anguish, a feeling I felt like I had caused. Before I could call out his name, he ran out the door. According to other people, he hadn't stopped running. But now, I knew he was safe in his dorm.
So when I saw James in my dorm I was shocked, especially at his facial expression. He was flushed with concern and worry, and I immediately suspected the worst. However, knowing James, he was probably just kidding around.
"Have you seen Remus?" he blurted anxiously. I figured he was joking, so I propped myself up, complaining about the least relevant thing possible.
"Not even a hello?" I asked, a smirk playing playfully on my lips.
He however, was in no mood for it, "Please, Lily. It's important. Like life or death," I was shocked. What had happened? My face began to pale. Remus.
"I'm sorry, James. I haven't seen him since after dinner," my frown deepened, along with my concern. Life or death.
"What did you mean by life or death? Is Remus going to die? What's wrong with him?" I rapid fired my questions, needing the truth, reassurance that my fears were untrue.
"He might," he whispered painfully. I could feel the tears start to well up. He was so good. He didn't deserve to die.
"From what," I demanded furiously. He was being far too cryptic for my taste. I needed to know what was wrong with him. I needed to know the truth.
"Cancer," he finally blurted out. I could feel the blood leave my body, my heart run cold. There was no way out of that.
He continued, "The reason it's between life or death is that he has treatment tonight. It's of utmost importance that he gets every ounce of help he can," I felt satisfied, surprisingly. I knew that cancer patients died a slow death. At least he would still have time.
I could feel myself getting choked up, the tears still threatening to fall. I could barely muster a single word.
"Oh," I whispered feebly, feverishly trying to hide my tears.
I wanted to be left alone, I wanted to find Remus. I didn't want to be with James. So when he jumped up on my bed and placed a rough, hard kiss on my lips, I was disgusted. At first anyway. Then, I sort of got lost in the kiss. It was my first one, but judging by James' skill level, I guessed it wasn't his first. I didn't mind though- I quite enjoyed his expertise. By the time he stopped, I was wishing he wouldn't.
"Oh Lily, as much as I love being here with you, I have to go find Remus. But I swear I'll make up for it in Hogsmede," I did my best to calm him, to assure him that it was alright he had to leave. I shooed him off in a playful, but resolute manner.
I heard him stumble into someone, and raised voices in the hallway. I worried for a minute about him getting in trouble, but then my thoughts returned to Remus.
Needless to say, I didn't sleep well that night. So when it came time for my date with James in Hogsmede, I was exhausted. To make matters worse, Remus hadn't returned from his treatment. He was still in the infirmary or supposedly there. The nurse wasn't allowing any visitors.
James grabbed my hand, and I noticed that his was sweaty. He was smiling goofily. Once I would have laughed out loud at his ridiculously happy expression, but now it made my stomach flip in an unfamiliar, uncomfortable way. He greeted me and led me in the direction of Zonko's Toy Shop. I couldn't help it-I snickered. It wasn't the most romantic date by far. It was so typical-James.
"I know what you're thinking, but please. Have a little more faith in me," he said, trying to explain himself.
I shrugged. I wasn't exactly expecting anything for him to be a gentleman.
So, I was completely shocked when he opened the door to Zonko's and led me to the back. My heartbeat quickened, with James, I was scared of what would happen. There was no supervision anymore, and it was strictly off limits to be alone with the opposite gender without a chaperone.
He opened up a small trap door, and allowed me to enter first, adding to my shock. His hand stopped sweating, which I was very thankful for.
Set up underneath the door was a table, lit up with multiple candles, that looked like they had been burning a while. It was in Italian style, a red-checked table cloth covering a small round table. The food looked delicious.
We pulled my chair out for me, and I blushed as he purposely placed his hand on the small of my back, guiding me into my seat. He smiled a genuinely happy smile, and sat down in his own seat, right next to mine.
He smirked as I attempted to roll the long noodles onto my fork, and laughed out loud at my facial expression, which I'm sure was a mixture of annoyance and agitation.
He said very softly, "Here, let me help you." He grabbed my hand in his, and demonstrated how to properly roll the spaghetti onto a fork. It had not been what I was expecting. He was actually pretty smooth, making "moves" in a way that wasn't obtrusive.
I laughed as he fed the spaghetti to me. I gladly took it though, and realized this would probably not be the last time he would feed me.
"So…?" James was trying to start conversation. Though I could tell he was content just looking at me and feeding me, he wanted to get to know a deeper me. I smiled at this discovery.
"Well, as you have already interrogated me, asking all my favorites, I'm afraid there is no more you could know about me." I teased.
"I am sure that you're joking! You happen to be one of the most mysterious people I know." He said, his eyes cast down onto his untouched food.
I laughed at his uneasiness, he was the stereotypical boy. He was so giddy and embarrassed all the time. Especially in front of the girl he liked.
He looked up and asked a question I was not expecting, "Why do you call me "Potter"?" He asked, probing for an answer.
It was my turn to pull my eyes away from his in embarrassment, "Promise you won't get mad?" I asked pleadingly. I was really beginning to like him, and I was worried about the effect my answer would have on him.
He chuckled a little and stated, "Lily, I swear. You could have said you murdered someone and I wouldn't be mad at you. Especially not now." He finished his speech and blushed slightly, before awaiting my answer. He took my hand again and squeezed it in reassurance.
I took a deep breath and stated, "I called you Potter because I thought it would piss you off. And I hoped that you would leave me alone if I would get you mad enough."
He was staring at me, trying to cover his facial expression of anger. Once his countenance was under complete control, he said in a playful tone, "It's funny how you knew me even before I even talked to you. You have no idea how much hearing you call me Potter pissed me off. But I thought it was great that you had the balls to do it."
I laughed at this and soon his eyes were lit up in a way that I wasn't sure if I liked. His lips were pulled up into a smirk, and leaned forward, towards my own. I gulped as my heart rate quickened and my breathing hitched. I was anticipating to be kissed, and I was. This time, I was looking forward to it, unlike the last time.
He touched his lips to mine in a soft, chaste way. It was nothing like our first kiss. And I was so happy, I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened it. He obliged happily, wrapping his hands around my waist and pulling me closer.
We broke apart, gasping for breath. He was smiling so large that I couldn't help but smile back. We stayed, embracing for another while. I eventually leaned my head against his shoulder and he rested his head atop mine. I was smiling still, feeling content just to be held.
Just to be held?
So was it the fact that it was James that was holding me, or that just someone was holding me?
I pulled back from him and smiled uncertainly. I then said, in hopes to get away and think, "I think it's nearly time to go."
He kissed me once more and said, "I agree. We'll leave right away, but you go out first. I'll follow behind. It would look bad if we were, you know, caught." He finished, opening the trap door that led to the basement.
"You'll have to tell me how you knew this was here." I stated playfully just as I was leaving.
"I have to tell you how I know a lot of things." He said, just as teasing.
I laughed, closing the door fully and walking out. I was feeling something I hadn't completely expected at the beginning of the date. I was feeling…light. I was free of problems, sure of everything, and happy. James had given me a new confidence that I hadn't really ever felt.
I sighed unhappily as we returned to Hogsmede. James was a great influence on me- I felt happier just by his mere presence. Sensing my happiness, which I'm sure he figured was due to him, he grabbed my hand and brought me closer. I giggled like the typical high school girl. It was so childish, but since he was my first boyfriend, I couldn't help but be a little giddy.