Adventures of Harry and Pansy
by Lylian
Two
Enemies United
Boom, boom, boom!
Harry opened the door.
"What the hell is this?" Pansy Parkinson yelled, walking through the front door.
It was eight in the morning. Harry had come home at three the previous night from Hermione and Draco Malfoy's wedding. The night was hard and stressful, keeping his emotions in check. He was tired, and he was not prepared for this.
Harry's eyes crossed as he tried to read the paper that was shoved too close to his face.
"Umm…the Daily Prophet?"
Pansy growled, "Look at the picture on the front page."
Harry's eyes focused, and he grabbed the newspaper. "Oh shite."
"Yes, pretty much." She walked into his apartment even further, scowling at his frayed, brown sofa. Then she turned her wrath on him once again. "Why didn't you tell me that reporters were still on your tail, following your every move?"
"Well, it's because…I didn't know," replied Harry lamely. He was still staring, bewildered, at the front of the Daily Prophet. The last time he had appeared in the paper for any sort of news had been over a year ago. (That did not include his appearance in Witch Weekly for the Top Ten Most Eligible Bachelors. He had no say in that.) It seems the public never got its fill on Harry's amazing life.
Or maybe, Harry thought, it was because I've been doing absolutely nothing exciting or noteworthy since then.
Yes, he had defeated the Dark Lord, and yes, he had been at many of the Ministry's promotions of the New Era. But this was slightly over the top.
"How did they get this picture?" asked Harry, ruffling his messy hair.
"That's what I'd like to know." Pansy clicked her lighter, lit her cigarette, and consciously decided that the brown sofa wasn't horribly disgusting. She sat on it, blowing grey smoke everywhere.
Harry finally took a glance her way. "Parkinson, don't smoke in here."
"You just ruined my entire reputation in one moment. I'll do what I like, thanks."
Harry couldn't believe the nerve of this woman. "You talk as if I'm the one to blame!"
"You are!"
"You did it too!"
"Yes," she said roughly. "But I didn't know we would end up on the front page of the Prophet the next morning. That's your fault for being so bloody famous!"
Harry shook his head, muttering angrily, "As if I had a choice."
"You did defeat ol' Voldie, didn't you?" Pansy looked away from him and took another drag on her cigarette. She pulled on her hair, still hair-sprayed thick and curled from last night, as ashes fell on her wrinkled, ivory dress.
"You're still in your dress robes," stated Harry, taking her appearance in.
"I was so busy screaming at the owl that delivered this to me," Pansy waved to the newspaper, "that I ran out of my house in this state."
"How did you know where I lived?" Harry asked.
Pansy looked as him as if he was an idiot. "I Apparated you here last night, remember?"
"Oh…yeah," he said, even though Harry could remember very little about the night before.
Harry decided that she was docile enough to take a seat next to her.
"Merlin, what am I going to do?" She seemed almost defeated, stretching her neck backwards.
Scoffing, Harry replied, "If anything, I should be asking myself that question."
Pansy sat bolt upright. "You're Golden Boy. No one will care that much. The public believes that you are, ahem, 'Uniting Enemies' as stated in the Prophet. On the other hand, my reputation had just gone down the drain because of one moment of temporary insanity. Fuck!"
Again with the language and again with the puff of grey smoke.
"I'd think this would improve your reputation. Everyone will think you're…changing your ways. Everyone thought that when Malfoy proposed to Hermione."
Pansy's eyes widened. "Ugh!"
"What did I do this time!" spluttered an outraged Harry.
"I hate you. Why do you have to be so bloody famous and so bloody perfect and have the stupidest ideas ever?" said Pansy, then later grumbled, "Why didn't I think of that first?"
Harry shook his head in vexation.
"I don't know why I didn't see it. I probably still have some alcohol in my system. Of course I could use this to my advantage! Oh, I'm such an idiot."
And a witch (with a 'b') for waking me up at this dreadful hour, said Harry mentally. He wouldn't dare say that out loud, for he was too much of a good boy, and he wanted to have children some day, thanks.
"Parkinson, I think you're worrying about this too much. Calm down a bit."
"You know what?" said Pansy. "You're right. You're always right. It kind of bothers me sometimes. Stop doing that."
"Doing what?"
"Being so damn understanding. It's irritating," she replied.
"Parkinson, why don't you go home now? This will blow over in a few days." He was exasperated to the point of no return.
"Why?" Pansy brought her fingers to her red lips and pressed the cigarette against them, casually blowing O's into the air.
Finally fed up, Harry snatched the cigarette from her hands and threw it into his kitchen sink.
"I said don't smoke in here."
Pansy was fuming. "You are a downright bastard, you know that?"
In a nonchalant and overly apathetic way, Harry shrugged his shoulders. "Oh."
"That was my last cig," Pansy screeched angrily. "You owe me a new pack!"
"No, I don't," said Harry. "I told you not to smoke in my apartment."
"Merlin's balls. You think you can just push me around, don't you?"
"Um, no. I just told you not to smoke here and you still did. It's my place, and if you're here, you will follow my rules."
"You sound exactly like my parents." Pansy stood to brush off the ashes from her dress. "I'm leaving," she announced, as if Harry should hold her back from doing something so rash.
"Good."
"Prick." Pansy stood up, walked directly towards the only exit, paused, and turned back around.
"Oh, and one more thing," said Pansy.
"What now, Parkinson?"
"Kiss me."
"What?" cried Harry. "Why?"
"Because I don't remember last night's. And it looks like we were both enjoying ourselves."
Harry was at a loss for words.
Pansy continued, "And then I could tell the reporters that it wasn't just one stupid drunken moment. It was two moments, and this time I'm sober, I think."
"You are out of your mind."
"Does that mean you won't kiss me?"
"Well…yes!"
Pansy sighed. "Fair enough. You were probably not that great of a kisser anyways because I don't seem to remember anything extraordinary. To think, Golden Boy doesn't live up to his expectations. Ciao."
Maybe it was because he was sleepy, maybe it was because he had drank the previous night, or maybe it was because Pansy was just so damn irritating. But Harry did something even he did not expect. He brought her close and pecked her lips, softly.
"Try that for a bad kisser."
After the shock had worn off, Pansy's nose scrunched. "You didn't brush your teeth, did you?"
Once again, words could not form in Harry's lips.
"Ew, Potter!" said Pansy in repulsion. "You are disgusting."
"And you are unbelievable!" screamed Harry. "First you barge in at eight in the morning, screaming profanities because of some stupid newspaper that has a picture of us snogging, then you try to tell me that it's all my fault, which it isn't! And you light a cigarette in my house and get upset with me when I throw it out, even though I told you I didn't want you to smoke here! And then you tell me to kiss you. It's unheard of, but I do it anyways, just to shut your royal highness up, then you go and insult me. You are crazy, do you know that? Completely insane! And I'm tired and worn out and have a major hangover. I don't need this right now!"
Pansy enjoyed watching Harry raving like a lunatic, calling her a lunatic. It was funny really.
Just as he took a deep breath to continue on, Pansy grabbed a something small from her purse and shoved it, none too gently, into his mouth.
Harry nearly choked. "What was that?"
"Sorry, love. But you needed a Tic-Tac." Pansy smirked with mirth.
"Yeah, I'm not the only one," Harry glared back at her. "You reek of tobacco."
Pansy brought a hand to her mouth, breathed, and sniffed. "There you go being right again." She plopped one between her lips. "You're taking me out to dinner tonight."
"Excuse me?" said Harry incredulously.
"You heard me, Potter. You owe me for my extreme humiliation. Fiori's at seven."
"And if I don't go?" Harry told her, as she made her way out the door. He wondered how his presence with her in a restaurant could, by any means, alleviate her shame of them together.
"Then I'll just have to tell the reporters the truth about your kissing skills and our time spent together. You know, I think that I'd milk it for all it's worth." Pansy smiled deviously. "I'll see you there."
She left Harry wide-eyed and jaw-slacked at her continued boldness. Her daring rivaled that of a Gryffindor's.
Well, he decided, she did spice things up a bit like only Pansy could. Maybe he'd be taking her up on her offer, Harry thought, tossing the newspaper in the bin before heading to his bedroom to make arrangements for tonight. And it would, no doubt, be a long night.
ENEMIES UNITED: POTTER AND PARKINSON
Former rivals decide to spread the unity by declaring their relationship during the much publicized marriage of Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger... (See the above picture for further confirmation).
September 7, 2007
Edited: April 1, 2008