Chapter 15: Remus's POV

"What the bloody hell were you thinking James?! It was utterly ridiculous! You could have been expelled! Not to mention arrested!" Sirius barked as soon as we were in the safety of our dorm. I would not want to be on the receiving end of his rage. Spit was flying everywhere, arms were flailing, and eyes were glaring. If James had spoken up, there would have been hell to pay. He sat, taking the lecture like a crying puppy.

When Sirius stopped his rant, his chest was heaving. He had been yelling loudly, his voice raising an octave or two. I was sure that by now, it would be scratchy with anger. It didn't appear to affect him though.

"Why did you do it, James?" I ventured, using every ounce of self restraint I had to keep my voice calm. My sturdy best friend looked as if he were about to cry. His eyes were misted, and his lower lip was puckered in a way that only showed weakness. James wasn't a weak man, either.

He looked away from Sirius' piercing glare, and my inquisitive eyes, "Because I wanted some of the attention back."

I was sure that right then, my mouth fell three feet. I could literally feel my jaw scraping the ground. I recovered my composure however, in time for Sirius to start yelling again.

"You bloody arse! You have the most sought after girl in the whole bloody school, and you choose to attack her best friend for attention! Bloody fucking arse!" James flinched every time Sirius spoke a word, his well-trained enunciation almost ironic with the nasty words flowing freely out of his mouth.

I looked at James then, as if for the first time. I saw him in a new light. While half of his face looked nearly remorseful and humiliated, the other side was laughing, like he thought assaulting and seriously harming another student was a joke. It wasn't something I could stand for. I drew the line there and then.

As Sirius' voice almost droned out, though it was so loud, I was sure the entire school could hear it, I thought about how to phrase what I wanted to tell James. It wasn't going to be the easiest thing I had done, that was for sure.

Sirius had paused again, finishing with another "Bloody fucking arse!" I took my chance.

I looked James hard in the eye, making sure I caught his hazel gaze as I spoke my next words, "You do not deserve Lily. You hardly deserve Sirius. You're self-centered, egotistical, and worst of all; you're willing to stab your best friends in the back. Look at my eye, James! It's swollen shut. I can't even imagine what you would do to Severus if you're willing to do this to me," I understood why Sirius was panting so much, and why he was yelling. I was past being calm and reasonable, the only thing that mattered at the moment, was that James got what had been coming for a long time.

"Not only that, but fucking assault! You've got to be shitting me! I thought even you knew where to cut it out. It isn't funny anymore. And I'm certainly not taking a part in it anymore." I hadn't taken my eyes from him the entire time, and he was now crying. The tears rolled down his cheeks silently, and he looked as if he were desperately trying to make them stop.

I tore my eyes from his, not wanting to watch as my best friend broke down. I turned to Sirius, who was looking at me with hardened, but accepting eyes. He spoke quietly now, almost gently. I realized he was trying to soothe James. He probably hated seeing him cry even more than I did.

"You needed to hear that. From someone else other than me, Lily, Snape, and Dumbledore. I hope now it will set in with you that you aren't as great as you seem," he tried to get James to look at him, "Everyone's shit stinks, James. Don't believe you're exempt from that."

I took that as my cue to leave. Sirius followed after me, quietly and sorrowfully, leaving our friend to wallow in his own guilt. That was probably the worst punishment of all.

We didn't speak or look at each other until we were far away from our dorm and the Gryffindor common room. I didn't know what to say, and I was pretty sure he didn't either. The silence was more awkward than after we all shared who we liked in our dorm.

We stopped at the library. I was honestly beginning to hate this place. It seemed the center for drama.

Everything seemed to happen in the library.

We walked away from the human population and chose a quiet corridor. I didn't know what to say, so I just stood, waiting for him to speak.

Sirius spoke first, softly, in his library voice, "Do you think we should tell Lily?"

I grimaced, "If we do, I don't want to be the one to tell her." That would be bad, especially if they broke up. If word got out that I had broken her and James up, I was damned sure I'd be dead.

His face crinkled even more than mine did, "Well I don't want to be the one either." His voice was rough and raspy from all the yelling. I wasn't surprised.

I leaned against the bookcase, "Then we aren't going to tell her. Only if it gets worse, okay?" I figured that was fair enough. James was in the batting box, and he had two strikes. He could play it safe and not swing at all, hoping for a ball, or he would swing randomly, causing a strike-out immediately.

Sirius nodded in agreement, "Good idea," he paused for a moment before running his fingers through his hair, he was uncomfortable, "You know…back there…when you said you didn't want to be a part of it anymore? What did you mean, exactly?" He raised his grey eyes to mine and I felt incredibly sorry for what I had said. He looked to be having an internal debate.

"I meant that I didn't want to be a part of the bullying anymore. And if that meant not being friends with you, I would do it," I had a perfect poker face on at the moment, though watching Sirius' face fall nearly broke it. He was like a brother to me, and I hated seeing him in pain.

He finally cleared his throat and said, "Well I guess I agree with you. I have to admit, being the bad guy for so long was kind of getting to me. I liked being the good guy today, though you have the battle wounds to prove it." He grinned devilishly at me, pinching my bruised cheek as he brushed past me, out of the library. I tried to grin, although the playful pinch had sent a throbbing pain throughout my entire face.

I stopped him before he could go any further. I clapped my hand on his shoulder and spun him around, almost desperate for his reassurance. "What will happen if nothing gets better? If I do leave?"

Sirius shrugged and said, "Then you leave, and depending on what it is I may or may not leave as well," he stared straight into my eyes at that moment, penetrating me with every glare he had ever used, "But understand this Remus, I'm not loosing you as my friend."

I smiled hugely and hugged him. I couldn't help it. I had never felt so accepted before. People in the library were staring by our public display of affection.

"Thanks Remus," Sirius grumbled as we made our way out of the library, "Now everyone thinks we're gay." I laughed and continued walking with him.

"They're just jealous of our bromance, Sirius. Don't let it get to you," he chuckled a bit at my sarcasm.

I felt better almost immediately. Things were settled between Sirius and I, and for the time being, that would get me through. I needed at least one good friend left in the world. We headed back into the common room, where I finally pulled off my shoes and plopped on the couch, falling asleep before my head hit the pillow.

It had been a long day.