Chapter Fourteen A Play in Three Acts
"When a person sees their own double it usually means that they are about to die," Hermione said. "Since this doppelganger was created by Voldemort it's hard to say what will happen."
"They said that about seeing the Grim, too." Harry mumbled. "Besides what kept him from making it himself so he could kill Dumbledore and blame it on his double?"
"No one would ever knowingly create a doppelganger, Harry," Hermione said shaking her head. "Not even to kill Dumbledore."
"What else do you know about them?"
"Well, you can't see it's reflection in a mirror for one thing and they can function in complete darkness, although I don't know how that's done; they never sleep; and the real person often gets confused about whether he is the doppelganger or the real person. It's a state of confused body awareness." She was eating an apple and sitting on the stone fence just outside his parent's house. They had returned from the castle, it was a hot late summer afternoon.
"For instance; if one is lying down and the other standing, the real person may not be able to tell who the person is that's lying down; is it himself or his double? That's because the double thinks that they are the real person. The real person finds the confusion so disturbing that they do crazy things. There are rare examples where the real person kills themselves and the double suddenly realizes he's only a double because he has no memories that go back in time. It's very confusing and not worth thinking about. It happens so rarely. Oh, and, they can't be disarmed. If they are holding weapon or a wand you can't take it from them. I'd have to check further but I think that means normal stunning spells and the like don't work on them."
Harry stared at her in amazement and asked with some trepidation, "How do you get rid of one?"
She glanced over and sighed, "Again, if this is a natural doppelganger we're talking about then it's said the only way to rid one is to kill the real person and then the double has no substance." She shook her brown mane of hair and shrugged, saying, "I hope that's not the case here, Harry. I know you don't like Snape but that's a drastic step."
She sighed and wrapped her arms around her knees and said, "Of course, the double can drive the real Snape insane just by hanging around where no one else can see him and just talk to him. It will lie to him and make suggestions to him that will prove false and altogether evil. They say the feeling of being divided in two is almost an intolerable feeling to suffer." She hesitated and then went on. "As far as getting rid of it...I don't know how he'll get rid of it."
They sat on the fence staring out over the forested hills and remained silent. They were waiting for Ron to return. He had apparated to the Burough at Snape's suggestion to tell his mother of developments so that she could pass it on to the members of the Order. Harry was also hoping Lupin would show up. Snape suggested they wait no longer than an hour since they would be vulnerable to attack again.
"Why do you ask?" Hermione finally asked. "Are you feeling sorry for him?"
"Hermione, no matter how hard I try I can't forgive him. Maybe he didn't kill Dumbledore but he's still a horrible person. You know how he treats me. He hates me and I don't even know why?" Harry replied.
He'd been thinking about it since they returned to his parent's bungalow in Godric's Hollow. He wanted to destroy the Horcruxes and kill Voldemort but he also knew he had a better chance if Snape were helping. He didn't like the idea but there it was. He also bitterly remembered the attempt to learn Occlumency from him. Just being in the same room was going to be difficult. However, the portrait of Margaret had given him information that he had not had before. He couldn't exactly hate the man his mother had befriended either. Still he had betrayed her and had gotten her killed. His thoughts were in a battle with each other and he was biting his lip thinking about it all.
"Harry," Hermione began, throwing one leg over the fence to straddle it and face him directly, "he's never asked for your forgiveness." Harry stared at her in surprise and she continued earnestly, "No. That's the truth! You're struggling so hard with yourself trying to decide if you can forgive him. Maybe he thinks he's done nothing to forgive. Who's to say why he is the way he is."
She tossed the apple core she'd been munching on and turned back to him. "You know, this is what I believe. Forgiveness means the same as writing it on a piece of paper and tearing that paper up into bits and pieces and letting it go; never ever returning to the issue. Forgiveness is not about Snape but about you Harry. Weak people can't forgive, only strong people can do that. You're strong Harry and you can't carry this burden around with you. You asked for his help and he agreed and he didn't attach any conditions to it. Can you live with that? Can you work with him if he never changes?"
"I don't trust him either," Harry argued. He didn't tell her that it was Snape that overheard the Prophecy and was responsible for passing it on to Voldemort. Pettigrew may have given up his parent's location as their secret-keeper but Snape had given the information to Voldemort."
"It's a lot easier to admit to being angry then to being hurt," Hermione replied. "You can harden your heart and pretend that he's not hurt you. In the end you'll want to retaliate some way- somehow. If you can't resolve this then you need to get away from him. That goes for trust, too. It seems to me that Snape doesn't know how to do anything else but hurt people, but I don't believe there is any evidence that shows he can't be trusted; at least now that we know his doppelganger killed Dumbledore."
"How do you do it, Hermione?" Harry asked. "He's been terrible to you and you've always backed him up."
She smiled and reached for his hand and said softly, "I can survive humiliation and embarrassment, Harry. I can survive his cutting remarks and his rudeness. What hurts me the most is when he does it to you, because you're my friend. I'd rather he attack me then you because I hate to see you suffer."
"That's what makes me so mad," Harry griped. "He does it to everyone.
She shrugged and nodded in agreement, saying, "He seems to have a special need to focus on you. However, I'll say it again. We don't know that he's evil, if we define evil as a person who does atrocious, vile acts against someone and makes them suffer. We don't know that he's ever done that. He's just thoroughly.....unlikable."
"He carries the dark mark," Harry protested.
She nodded again and replied, "I believe that he was lured to evil at one time. We know he was using dark magic while he was still at Hogwarts, but to truly be evil is to not have a conscience and not care. You've faced true evil, Harry. You, more than anyone, should know the difference. Does he have a...a soul, does he care about anything? You know I can't speak for him but I know Dumbledore trusted him and that means I have to trust him. I don't think Dumbledore was easily misled and he had years to know and understand Snape."
Harry thought about it and continued to stare out across the meadow. He was going to have to make a decision fairly quickly about what his next step would be. Something told him that this place, his parent's home and the valley itself, held special meaning. He knew he was not a seer and could not forecast the future, but he felt it in his bones.
"Hermione," Harry began, "he loved my mother. I went to Dumbledore's office and there was a portrait there of a woman who was Dumbledore's fiancée . She died before they could marry and she told me about Snape and my mother."
Hermione stared at him with questioning eyes and asked, "Has that been on your mind then, Harry? Are you wondering about your mother? Whether she was faithful to your father or something?"
Harry shook his head and answered firmly, "No. I believe that she loved my father. I also think my mother was a kind person who would have tried to be kind to everyone, even Snape." He was thinking of the incident he witnessed in the Pensieve and watching Snape cruelly call his mother a 'mudblood'. He couldn't understand that. If he loved her why call her that unless it was to get back at my dad or Sirius.
"Harry, unless you are willing to talk to him about it directly then it's no use worrying over it. We have to decide what to do next." She shivered in the bright sunlight and said, "After last night I think we have days, not weeks, before a full-scale war breaks loose. I mean I don't think those werewolves were meant just for us, I think they are wandering the countryside attacking whoever they find. Dementors will be next or maybe a giant if they haven't killed themselves off."
"Hermione, I think I know where another one of the Horcruxes are and I need to go back to check if I'm right." Harry stood and stretched, rolling his shoulders. It had been a long night and a tense one. Now that they were relatively safe he needed to decide what to do. "We need a place to work on them and make plans."
She smiled and said, "You said 'we'. That sounds encouraging. Are you willing to accept our help now, Harry?" She didn't wait for him to answer. "What about Snape?"
He groaned and shook his head, still undecided.
"Harry," she began, "If you are going to use him, them use him. Let's go ask him about Horcruxes and how to destroy them. With the information you have from Slughorn and the information I've managed to find maybe we can do something about them. You might also listen to his advice."
Harry glared out at the meadow and then nodded.
"Right then," she said quickly and slipped off the stone fence. "Let's go talk to him. Maybe we could go back to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. It might still be safe. Lupin can find us there and if we go back to Hogwarts then we can go from there."
Harry pulled himself up and nodded again. "I don't want you to be disappointed if I don't start the new term at Hogwarts, Hermione."
She shrugged and took his hand. "Come on. Remember Harry that you have a lot of friends there. Don't take that lightly. I've made the decision to live here among witches and wizards after I leave Hogwarts and I think that I'm going to depend on those friendships for awhile."
"By the way," he began, "I'd like to return to the Huxley's just to let them know I didn't run out on them and steal their money. It'll take a little time and then I'll join you wherever we end up." They walked for a few minutes before he spoke again. "Did you really bring Krum here to find Karkarov?"
She nodded. "I really did Harry even though Ron doesn't believe it. I wanted a person who was a previous Death Eater. But now we have Snape."
Harry nodded.
"The Huxley's sound like a very nice couple," Hermione said, changing subjects..
They walked along the dusty road towards the little cottage hidden in a small hollow in between hills and trees.
"Harry," Hermione said. "There's Ron. Let him catch up. I want to talk to you both about something." They turned and saw Ron walking swiftly towards them.
"Hello," he announced a little out of breath. "Well that's done. Mum's really unhappy. I told her a little about the castle," he nodded towards the looming castle on the hill, "and how we got stuck inside." He raised his eyebrows and shook his head. "I told her about Lupin and Snape..." He puffed his cheeks and blew out his breath. "I hate being the one to tell her anything!" he finished. "She's going to contact dad and then send a message to McGonagall and Tonks. They'll do the rest."
"Hermione and I have been talking a bit," Harry began. "Let's go back to the house. Hermione, go ahead and tell us what you wanted to say."
They strolled abreast of one another and Hermione talked as they walked. "It only makes sense that the Dark Lord would be hunting down his Horcruxes, Harry. He might have had them in a safe place before he went to....kill... your parents," she stuttered and then went on, "but we know the diary ended up with Lucius Malfoy and he didn't even know what it was. It took a bit of doing for Albus to find the Gaunt ring because he only just did that and then he said that he found the cave where the locket was."
"What are you saying," Harry asked, slowing their walk. They were nearing the house and he wanted her to finish before they got there.
"They are scattered about because no one knows what they are. Which is good because he has to find them, too. It's really a race to who finds them first. He's a bit ahead of the game because he knows what they are."
He nodded and replied, "Yeah, I see your point."
"You say you think you know where one is," she said. " We have the locket and it may or may not be viable. We don't think it's the sword and it's probably not the Gryffindor Sorting hat." She stopped and the three stood in the dusty road conferring. "Well...he's secretive isn't he? He doesn't want anyone to know about them. On the other hand the more people on our side that KNOW, the better off we are. We can do a search," she said energetically.
Ron and Harry stared at her without speaking.
"What?" she asked looking from one to the other. She suddenly looked grumpy. "Do you have a better idea? I know you don't like the idea of returning to Hogwarts, Harry, but Lupin will be there, the D.A. are there and can help, it's fortified, and we can check out Dumbledore's Pensive and....." She pinched her nose and stared at the house. They were at the garden gate. "If we can persuade McGonagall to let Snape come back," she nodded at the house, "perhaps keep him hidden there or something, then he will be a big asset."
"Asset?!" Ron said, in a monotone. "I can think of a better word."
"Harry?" Hermione ignored Ron's comment and turned to him.
He turned without answering and headed into the house.
"Mr. Snape?" Hermione began. He was seated in the lounge reading a book and looking very relaxed, although there were lines of fatigue in his face. He was clean and dressed in fresh clothing. The bloody remnants of the battle were gone.
He glanced up and sat the book aside. All three of them were facing him.
"We have a few questions to ask you," Harry said.
Snape looked at them with narrowed eyes and suspicion and then waved at the seats nearby.
"First, we need to know how to identify you every time we meet," Hermione said, leading the questions. Harry glanced at her feeling a little miffed that she interrupted, but let her do it because her question was the first he wanted to ask.
She continued, "We can't be asking you questions every time your double shows up because it would waste time." She produced something from her pocket and handed it to him. It was a mirror.
He raised and eyebrow as if surprised. "I see." He turned the mirror so that they could see his reflection and then laid it on a table next to his book. "You know something of Doppelgangers then, Miss Granger."
"Yes. Thank you that was very helpful," she said, with a sigh. She glanced at Harry and he nodded to her to continue. "Could you tell us more about Doppelgangers. I know a little, but..... well....it would be nice to know if you can rid yourself of it and if you can then perhaps we can take advantage of it and use it....and...and....I realize that it is a horrible thing but...." she stopped suddenly, looking nervous, "if you would be willing to do something like that...."
"Go on," Snape said, slowly.
She looked as if she had made her mind up and then rushed on, "Then the second thing we'd like to discuss with you are the Horcruxes." He remained silent and Hermione continued, "We need to discuss how to find them, you know, identify if an object is a Horcrux and then we'd need your help with them when we do find them because they are very dark magic and....."once again she stopped and seemed to lose steam.
Snape glanced at Harry, studied him and then turned back to her, again remaining silent.
"It seems that Harry doesn't seem as affected by them as other people do and that'll be a help," she continued. "We need to know how to handle them so that people aren't hurt or possessed by Vol..." she looked at his face and finished..."the Dark Lord."
"Anything else, Miss Granger?' he asked, in his deep voice.
She nodded and Harry broke in, "Hermione has suggested that we return to Hogwarts. She thinks it's safer and we can get some help in searching for these objects. I haven't made up my mind about that but if we do, WE think you should return with us."
Snape rose to his feet immediately, although his facial expression and tone of voice didn't change. "That would be reckless and foolish of me to do that!"
Harry glared back. "Do you have a better place to go?!"
Snape drew himself up to his full height and said, "Don't mistake my current compliance for weakness, Potter. I'm capable of being a very dangerous man."
"Harry!" Hermione stepped between them first frowning at one and then the other. "Mr. Snape. I think that it is the only place that you'll be safe."
"Draco Malfoy was here with me and ran away," Snape said. "I doubt that he will return to his own home or seek out his father, at least not right away. He does know how to contact him and send him here. Lucius would be more then happy to find me. I think we cannot wait for Mr. Lupin any longer." Snape turned and picked up a valise.
"We were going to go to Grimmauld Place," Ron said. "I've told mum and she'll tell dad that you aren't Dumbledore's murderer...." he stopped when Snape stopped and stared at him. "We thought the more people that knew the better off you would be, so you could help us," he finished and then looked at Harry as if for advice.
Harry was still trying to decide what he wanted to do with Snape if anything. "I haven't made up my mind about going back to Hogwarts," Harry said. "I think I'd like to remain anonymous for awhile longer. I don't care for the Ministry or for anyone else to know my whereabouts just yet."
Hermione raised and eyebrow in an expression of frustration and cocked her head as she always did when he wasn't happy with her ideas. However, Snape looked as if he agreed with the idea. "However," he continued, "I think Grimmauld Place is still safe. Do you agree?"
Harry waited for a moment. He took a second to glance at the table where Snape had laid the mirror and noticed it was gone. His own trunk had somehow mysteriously arrived and was sitting rather forlornly in the middle of the room. Snape saw him search the room and there was a hint of new respect in his eyes.
"I think it urgent that we find a safer place to talk," Snape said. "The two of you go ahead and we will follow. If you please," he said and held the door open.
Ron and Hermione immediately apparated from the front garden with the familiar little pop! that resounded afterward. That left Snape and Harry alone.
" I will find my way to Grimmauld Place," Harry said, cautiously. "I have several errands to complete and I will be there tonight before dark."
Snape stared at him as if trying to ascertain whether he was speaking the truth or not. Harry was careful to not look him directly in the eyes, but wondered if he could defend himself now. He had practiced his Occlumency during the summer but not against a wizard and he didn't want Snape to pry into his mind at this moment.
"I will do as you ask, Mr. Potter," Snape said. "I will go to Grimmauld Place only because I think it is safe at the moment." Harry nodded and Snape continued, "I think you should know that it's possible that Lupin has been caught or delayed in some way. He would have returned here at dawn, I am almost sure of it. Which means he is still in the castle," his eyes drifted that way, "or he escaped the castle and fled into the forest where he was assaulted by other werewolves; or he has been captured."
Harry frowned. The thought had not crossed his mind that Remus wasn't with them because he was in danger. He turned to stare at the crumbling white stone castle and then turned back to Snape without speaking.
"You will get no special treatment from me, Potter," Snape said, coldly. "I have always believed that Dumbledore coddled you. Once others become aware of the Horcruxes they will take the matter out of your hands. You are an underage wizard and regardless of whether they believe you to be the Chosen One or not, the Ministry will want to handle this."
"You don't understand do you?" Harry asked. "You think I'm being arrogant once again because I want to destroy the Horcruxes and then have first crack at Voldemort. You think I want to do all of this myself. Well I do, but it's not because I have a big head and want the notoriety." He laughed derisively. "I'm not a fool, Snape. I'm pretty sure I won't survive long enough to even get close to him, but I want to kill him. I want to be the one because he killed my parents and he is a murderer."
"Because you believe in the Prophecy?" Snape asked, with disdain.
Harry glared at him. "You told him about the Prophecy and it got my parents killed. Perhaps, I should turn you in."
Snape's scowl was very familiar. "For your information Potter, I told Pettigrew so that he could warn your parents. I did not know he was a servant of the Dark Lord's."
Harry had readied his broom to mount it and was so surprised that it slipped from his grasp.
Snape glanced at the surrounding woods, being ever vigilant. "I will make some inquiries about Lupin and meet you at Grimmauld Place before nine o'clock. Try not to get yourself killed or captured in the meantime, Potter."
...
Lupin awoke in his own naked human body in a cell. It was an empty room without a lamp and smelled of rot and mildew. He studied the area visible in the light that crept in through a dust-covered single window and then rolled his head back to look at the ceiling and groaned. He always knew that there would be a point in time when he was either captured or killed by Voldemort and his days had been numbered. He could not really blame himself for any neglect in being careful since he had not been human at the time.
The last thing he remembered was climbing the steps to Godric Gryffindor's castle and that was all. There were short glimpses of what happened after; Snape barricading the door, seeing Hermione and Ron and Harry there and then he heard the howls of his own kind and it made his blood run hot. He wanted to join them and run through the night with the eye of the white moon always overhead, watching.
Remus knew that what was waiting for him now was not going to be pleasant. In fact, he knew that Voldemort would take pleasure in torturing him before killing him or even more pleasure in turning him over to Fenrir. His own kind would not be gentle either. He was a traitor to them.
He closed his eyes and chose to think about his life and his friends. It had been over seventeen years and it was the only time that he had been truly happy. The years at Hogwarts and the few-very few- years following. After that it had been a struggle just making it in the human wizard world where he was not accepted or welcome. Yet he could not go back to the werewolf world where the half-humans there lived in poverty and despair and became less human every day.
It took one kill and they began to lose their humanity. It was James and Lily and Sirius that had kept that from happening to him and Fenrir- his creator- resented it. From then on Remus had worked to remain human, going to great lengths to find a potion master who could make the complicated elixir that would keep him in human form. He had paid a price for it, creating many enemies.
What he regretted most was not knowing that Sirius had been innocent and having missed the opportunity to be with his last remaining friend and the horror of knowing that he had abandoned him to survive in Azkaban. Remus lay on the cold wood floor and once again would allow himself no pity for his discomfort. Sirius had suffered a hundred times more then he.
Lupin finally sat up and tucked his knees up under his chin and encircled his legs with his arms and sat waiting. He tried to remember Godric's Hollow and the little bungalow as it was when Lily and James were there. He remembered warm summer days when they would all strolled over the hill and down to the little lake where they could cool their feet in the water and talk and laugh and play. It had lasted such a short time.
Remus could even remember their conversations and as he thought of them he was reminded of how naive and innocent they had all been. They talked about Voldemort and how it was so frightening to realize that few witches and wizards really opposed his predation on half-muggle and muggle born. It seemed his entire life centered around fighting a war that had not ever really happened.
People died and disappeared and ended up in Azkaban, but there was no outright war and he wanted one; he wanted one very badly to bring it all out into the open. He wanted people to choose sides- face each other- and battle until there was a victor.
He was now feeling slightly upset that he would miss out. He wanted one last glorious battle to take them all on. To stride out onto a field of battle and take his rage out on all of them and particularly Voldemort who was nothing more then a glorified half-breed himself. He wanted to die fighting and not tortured to death, naked and helpless.
Then there was Harry. Remus recalled the boy as an infant and the look in his father's eyes when he held him for the first time. It was at that moment that Lupin knew that he loved both Lily and James, really loved them as if they were his own brother and sister. And the child that they had with the dark unruly hair and the dimpled cheeks was more precious to him then his own life. Together, Sirius, Peter, Lily and James and Harry became his world.
Lupin got to his feet and paced the room. The other memories that followed, and had to follow the good ones, were the memories of hearing of their deaths from Dumbledore and arriving to find their bodies, seeing Dumbledore hand over the small child to Hagrid who took it off into the night on Sirius' motorcycle. He remembered his agony at watching Sirius also tear off into the darkness raging against their betrayer.
"Harry cannot go with you, Remus," Dumbledore had said. "You cannot take the child and raise him."
What he had not put into words was, 'You can't do this Remus because you are a werewolf. How can a werewolf protect and raise a child? How can you go after Sirius and stop his impetuousness when it is so close to a full moon?'
The taste in his mouth was bitter as he stared at the window and knew that his chances of escape were poor. He was in a building and possibly on the third or fourth floors. There was no hope of descending to the ground without help and he was wandless.
He stopped when he heard a sound in the corridor outside the room. So it is time? he thought. They are coming for me.
He was mildly surprised when the doorknob turned, and a tall man stepped into the room holding his wand on him. It was Snape. But is it the real Snape? he wondered.
"Lupin," the deep voice echoed slightly in the vacant room.
"Hello, Snape," Remus said, casually. "Come to kill me?"
"If I had wanted to kill you I would have done it already," Snape said.
"Come to take me to Voldemort?" Remus asked curiously. He turned back to the window and realized that it reflected the contents of the room. It was vague but still a reflection and the room was empty. Ah, he thought, it is the double. He knew that a Doppelganger cast no reflection in a mirror. Still the double was solid enough and no less dangerous.
"I do not serve the Dark Lord," the double said.
"What then?" Remus asked, once again turning to him.
"I have a Doppelganger," Snape said. "I believe the Dark Lord made it and used it to kill Dumbledore. I want your help in tracking it down and getting rid of it."
Remus leaned back in surprise. He doesn't know he is the double, he thought in astonishment.
The double waved his wand and Remus found himself clothed and feeling a little warmer. Snape waved the wand again and there was a table fully laden with a supper.
"I will return for your answer Lupin in one hour," Snape said and left as he had come.
Harry found his way back to his parent's house very quickly. The day was already almost gone and he wanted to be back to the Huxley's, give them some kind of explanation for his disappearance and then go to Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. He felt that there was still a lot to be resolved before he made his mind up about anything. And he wanted two Horcruxes in his hands; the locket and possibly something he might find here, if he could get them. He felt sure that at least one of them was beyond him now and Voldemort had retrieved it.
He swooped down into the yard and stood under a spreading elm tree in the shade studying the house before venturing into a possible trap. He'd only been gone a short time but he had learned to be cautious. Nothing looked out of the ordinary.
He once again entered and studied each room he passed into. Harry felt sure that if there was a Horcrux left behind it would not be on the lower floors but he wanted to make sure. Snape had covered his tracks and there was no sign that the dust had been disturbed. Harry moved through the dim light and did the same, glancing back to make sure his footsteps were not left behind.
He climbed the stairs that led to his parents bedroom and to the nursery. He could easily imagine what that night was like. Voldemort killed his father as he stood outside guarding the house. The evil wizard had stepped over the body and entered the house and started up these stairs.
Harry knew exactly which door would open into the nursery. He used one hand to push it open and listened for a moment before stepping in. Like the rest of the house, nothing was disturbed. Other than the fact that everything was covered in dust, the room was untouched. The bedclothes in the crib were still pushed aside as if his mother had lifted him from it and held him in her arms, trying to protect him.
Harry felt a chill as he stared at the crib and imagined her facing Voldemort, knowing that she was about to die.
He found the strength to glance around the room. On a side table near the door, in full view, sat a statue of a Phoenix. As he had surmised, Voldemort had made a Horcrux by killing his father. He sat it on the table before facing Harry's mother and the infant Harry. But he could not collect it and leave because he'd been banished, without a body.
Harry looked at the object and slowly reached for it.
And then he heard the noise. A slight popping sound. It could mean only one thing. Someone had apparated outside.
He drew his wand and swished it in a tight circle and the object disappeared. A second later he followed.