Author's Notes: This little ficlet was written for Invaderk as a Christmas present! Invaderk gave me the okay and so I'm posting it here to share with all you lovely folk as well!

Just as a note, so no one gets confused: The Kuei in this story is the nephew of the Earth King we grew so fond of in season 2. He's also quite as naive as his uncle.

And please review?

Alisa

Three Things Toph and Sokka Told the Earth King (and One They Didn't)

1.

"Your guests are here, my lord."

The guard ducked out of the room and Earth King Kuei could hear his visitors before he could see him. Jovial shouts and laughter and a sudden, sharp "ow!" preceded them. The fourteen-year-old king sighed a deep sigh and straightened his robes.

The Fancy Door burst open with a clang and the chatter of the two reverberated around the hall in a sudden assault. Earth King Kuei hid his wince expertly and planted a warm smile on his face.

"Welcome, Lady Wang!" Kuei announced cordially. "Welcome to Ba Sing Se!"

"Ehh?" The tiny woman who had entered the room cocked her head in the direction of the voice and shouted, "Who is that? What's going on?"

The Earth King's face crumpled in confusion. "Um… it's the Earth King, Lady Wang. Earth King Kuei, you're here to visit me, remember?"

There was a beat of a second, then Lady Wang started giggling. She placed her hand in the elbow of her guard and tugged him forward, still laughing, and said, "I'm just kidding, Kuei, I know who you are. I may be blind, but I'm not stupid!"

The king grinned uncertainly as the guard (a smirk unmasked on his face) tugged the blind woman forward and into Kuei's view. The Earth King's eyes narrowed.

Lady Wang was beautiful. Young. Eighteen, maybe.

She was supposed to be eighty.

"Who are you?" Kuei whispered, feeling suddenly exposed and threatened.

The grin on Lady Wang's face widened and her guard chuckled.

"No need to be so worried, Kuei," the woman said, swinging her arm from her guard's and sauntering to his throne. Her smirk was mischievous as she threw an arm around the Earth King's shoulders.

"We're not here to hurt you," the guard added, his blue eyes twinkling as he loped to Kuei's other side and draped an arm around his shoulders. "We're here to protect you."

Fear-fueled adrenaline rushed through Kuei's veins as he faced the prospect of two assassins in his throne room, their arms thrown around his shoulders. The half-rational thought of screaming for his guards crossed the king's mind.

"And don't bother calling for your guards," the woman added off-handedly. "I took care of them already."

Kuei swallowed and hoped death would come painlessly.

Suddenly the man chuckled and pulled back from the Earth King. "I think we've scared him enough, Toph."

The woman drew back and pouted. "Ah, but I was just starting to have fun!"

Kuei's eyes blinked out of his pale face, flitting quickly from face to face in confusion.

The man held out a hand which Kuei took without thinking.

He grinned. "Sokka and Toph, at your service."

2.

"Pretty nice place you got here, kid," the woman—Toph, the Greatest Earthbender in the World, his guards had explained with admiration and a touch of jealousy—announced, patting the floor and making it quake slightly under her touch.

"A lot nicer than old Kuei had it," the man—Sokka, a Southern Water Tribe representative, a toughened warrior already getting glances from the maids—added from where he was sprawled out on the floor next to Toph.

Kuei gave a noncommittal shrug as he shifted again. He wasn't used to sitting on the ground, especially with diplomats (however unconventional the diplomats were).

Suddenly Toph's head popped up. Kuei found her especially intriguing, not only because she was very pretty, but because she was blind and yet as agile on her feet as any of his guards.

"Hey, Kuei, where's your bear?"

Sokka shook his head. "Toph," he said patronizingly, "that was the old Kuei who had a bear."

Her fist met his shoulder. "I know that, idiot," she barked good-naturedly. "But you don't know about Earth Kingdom traditions like the Earth King's bear."

Kuei cocked his head. "What tradition?" he asked quietly.

Toph gasped dramatically and Sokka snorted. She ignored her companion as she exclaimed, "You don't know about the tradition of the Earth King's bear?"

A flush painted the young Earth King's cheeks as he shook his head.

"C'mon, Toph, tell us what this 'tradition' is," Sokka prodded a little skeptically.

She slapped his shoulder again. "It's a true tradition, Sokka," she said. "Every Earth King is supposed to have his own bear. The tradition says that the spirit of the very first Earth King comes into the bear and guides the new Earth King."

The three sat silently for a moment, and the Sokka turned to Kuei. "So, where's your bear?"

3.

It had been a long, long day for Earth King Kuei. He tugged at the collar of his restraining robe as he entered his personal quarters and sighed in relief. He was ready for a hot bath and a good night's sleep, free from unrefined Earthbenders and loud warriors and made-up traditions about bears. He scowled at the last one—he much would have preferred a cat-owl.

Kuei threw his hat on the stool in front of his mirror and got as far as the bathroom doorway before he stopped dead. There were people in his royal bed.

More specifically, Sokka and Toph were in his royal bed.

He backtracked slowly to the foot of the massive bed, where he could see a pair of bright blue eyes peering at him from over the blankets. A mass of black hair was all be could see of Toph.

Kuei was past formality with these two.

"What are you doing in my bed?"

The blanket lowered to reveal a pout on Toph's pale lips. "But Earth King Kuei always let us stay in his personal quarters…"

Sokka nudged her shoulder and whispered harshly, "I told you new Kuei wouldn't like it."

Her pale green eyes and quivering lip seemed to tug at what little lenience the Earth King had left in him. "It's fine," he breathed out. "I'll find someplace else to sleep."

"Hey, thanks, kid," her high voice intoned as she snuggled deeper into his bed.

"We'll pay you back," added the rumble of the warrior.

Kuei allowed himself a small smirk. They'd pay him back, alright; he'd make sure of that.

& One They Didn't

Sokka blinked his eyes at Toph and popped another chocolate in his mouth (which had been conveniently "borrowed" from the kitchen). He rolled over onto his stomach and wondered offhandedly, "D'you think we should've given that letter to new Kuei?"

He gestured vaguely to the Earth King's desk where the letter was with the plate of chocolates, scattering a few over Toph's legs.

They sat in silence for a moment, pondering.

Then they both started to laugh.

Dear Earth King Kuei,

Don't believe anything Toph or Sokka tells you.

Very, very sincerely yours,

Katara of the Southern Water Tribe