"We were great!" I exclaim as soon as we're inside. Jared is equally excited and he swoops me up in a hug and spins me around. I grin up into his brown eyes and… read his mind. Shocker, I know but I was just so curious. He's thinking that he loves my smile and then he's telling himself to snap out of it because I could be planning his death and he has to win so he can get home to Katie (his ex girl friend). So he's attracted to me and wary of me, that's an interesting combination. We'll see what I can do with that. I stand up on my tip toes and kiss his cheek before Smith and Jewel show us to our rooms.
The training center is huge, with a tower designated specifically for the tributes and their teams, turns out each district gets their own floor. Jared, Jewel, Smith and I get in the elevator, press number four and we're whisked up into the air. When we get off the elevator I turn to Jared,
"That was one of the most exhilarating things I've ever done in my life." I say, making him laugh. He has a wonderful laugh, deep and warm. Stop Megan, I think, you can't think about him like that.
I'm given my own suite and it's bigger than my house. The carpet is so thick I could sleep on it. There are so many buttons that I spend about thirty minutes playing with them before Jewel calls me to dinner. Capitol food is delicious and all but sitting there with Jared and our entourage was seriously getting boring. The conversation was ridiculously polite small talk so I decided to tune into Jared's brain. He's thinking about me. He doesn't want to have to kill me during the games. He's kicking himself for getting to know me. The poor dear doesn't know a thing about me, how can he feel this way? This is interesting and I feel bad that I'm thinking about how I can use this to my advantage. I stop listening to his thoughts now. He isn't letting our situation change him. He's still a good person while I'm becoming a monster. The games are changing me and I feel powerless against it. I have to control myself. I couldn't control the reaping and I can't control the arena, but I can control how I respond to it. I don't want to be a heartless killer.
It's the next morning, the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and it's the first day of training. I can't say I'm excited as Jewel seems to be. She really needs to lay off the coffee. She's permanently peppy and we're preparing for Jared's or my possible death. That woman is seriously twisted. I sit with her and Jared in the dining room and spread peanut butter on a bagel while we wait for Smith to show up. When he finally arrives we all head down to the gymnasium. Jared and I stand in a circle with the other tributes and listen to the instructions. Then it's time to decide which station to head to. I metaphorically glue myself to Jared's side.
"Where to?" he asks.
"I guess the rock wall." We spend the next hour climbing the artificial cliff side and I've got to tell you it's a lot more difficult than it seems.
We head over to the camouflage station and paint each other for a while. I'm surprisingly good at it. Edible plants station is next and then trap setting. Jared's much better than I am at it and I'm suddenly worried I'll starve to death. We make the rounds, trying to learn as much as we can to survive. After all we only have three days.
Time flies and soon it's the end of our second day of training. I'm sitting on the roof of the tower, thinking, thinking dangerous thoughts, thoughts that will surely make me cry. I think of my mom and dad, I think of Craig and fishing. I miss them all. I miss the salty, fishy ocean breeze and the way my hair gets all stiff from playing in the water. I just really want to go home. I mentally curse the capitol and the president and the game makers for doing this to me and 23 other innocent kids. I jump when the door opens and Jared joins me. I quickly wipe away the tears that leaked out but it's too late, he notices. I search his mind and I'm surprised by the tenderness he feels towards me. He feels my pain. He wants to help me, actually help me and I can't find any ulterior motives floating around in his brain.
I turn my tear streaked face towards his. He's looking at me expectantly. He wants to know what's wrong but feels like it's a stupid thing to ask. I let it go then. No more pretending, I will let myself love this boy. Maybe we can keep each other sane. We're better together; it will be harder for the games to change me if I let myself feel for him. But I don't want to think about what I will feel when one of us dies. He takes my hand in his big warm one.
"I don't want to pretend to be in love anymore, Jared." I say. His eyes flicker in surprise. "I actually have feelings for you. I want you to know that. I want you to know I'm not playing their game. I'm being real."I finish and when he doesn't say anything, I listen in on his thoughts. He believes me, which is a relief. I lift his hand and put it over my heart.
"This is my heart, in the saddest state it's ever been. I'm giving it to you. Please. Don't leave me. You know we need this." He moves a strand of my hair away from my face and kisses me softly.
"I won't leave you." He says. I don't even have to read his mind. I know it's true.