I know, I know I said I'll be quicker updating but it's just sadly not happened. My life's been pretty hectic at the moment but I won't worry you too much about that now if you do have any questions about any of the chapters then ask and I'll answer hopefully that'll make up for being a crap updater :L

Anyway Enjoy xxx

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Oh god you've got to be kidding me it was HIM! Oh I know what your thinking I should be happy right? Right? Yeah I'm not, actually the opposite to be honest. Why would HE be here! Now? If anyone's confused right now I'm the one with the reason to be confused.

How could SHE do this to me! she's supposed to be the kind, caring and doting mum I've always wanted but she never was, even when she tried her hardest she always failed but I don't blame her being a simple mum's tough but there's always apart of me that truly wondered if she ever even cared, you know? She spent most of my childhood trying to better herself and in the process more often than not forgot about me, us, Ash, Asia and I. She wasn't ever the mum we needed. When you fall your mum's supposed to pick you up and make it all better while my mum, did she do that? No chance, if I fell she'd call me clumsy pat me on the head then go back to what she was doing. Asia always came along and gave me a plaster and stopped me crying. Worse than everything else there was always a constant string of men coming and going from the house, but she dealt with it in her own personal way. Glass of wine, large tub of ice-cream and a sappy love movie later then she'd be back on the prowl the next night.

Being honest though I don't resent her, Asia does I know that but I have more reasons to than Asia and Ash put together. Sure when Asia was a baby mum was young, naive and really foolish but Asia had grand to look after her but then when mum found out she was pregnant again with Ash she had to run away from her patents she had not long ago already had a baby, my grand-parents thought she'd of learnt her lesson but they like most people were wrong.

Claire found a good paying job and settled down meeting her friend who couldn't have children, Janet, and offered to look after Asia when mum was at work but soon it was more than just work and when Ash joined mum went wild again searching for something that I just realised what.

I'd heard the story of how Claire met Jamie so many times I could recite it but it played over in my head like a flashback…

(AN: It's from third person point of view but there's a lot of things she wouldn't of told Amethyst that I've thrown in the flashback to give it more depth and the all around picture )

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Flashback

"Janet are you sure you don't mind, I hate asking you all the time." Claire pouted at her friend as she placed her silver hoop earring into her ear.

"of course not, sure maybe I'd like to come one time but I'm not feeling very well right now I'm happy just to stay here with Asia and little Ash." Janet smiled back at her friend who smiled and nodded before turning back to the mirror.

"only if your sure," Claire sighed applying a coat of coral lipstick to her lips with perfection.

"I am but…Claire please don't take this the wrong way but don't you think maybe…" Janet trailed off sighing she was never good at confrontation and looking back at the pouncing two year old in her arms and grinning as little Ash giggled.

"Maybe…what?" Claire asked looking back at her baby and friend smiling slightly.

"…don't you want to spend time with Ash and Asia just for once?" Janet rushed out avoiding her friends glare and making face's at the adorable little boy still giggling and pouncing in her arms.

"Are you trying to say I'm a bad mother?" Claire gasped at her friend as she placed her feet into her frill zip sling backs that had a 5 inch heel.

"NO! No, I'm not…I'm just saying it seems like you're missing out on a lot… Like Ash nearly started to walk today and Asia can speak a teeny bit of French…Don't you care Claire your missing out on the most important parts of YOUR children's life for what? A crappy party here another shitty boyfriend there… I don't see what's the point I'd kill to have children like yours and sometimes Ash calls me mum instead of you and you always choose to ignore it and say it was a slip up? I'm sorry if you feel I'm prying, but don't you see I care about you and you're throwing everything with your children away for something that doesn't even matter that much to you. The boyfriends never stay for long, you always complain the party was a failure and-" Janet ranted meeting her friends eyes and showing her how much it hurt seeing everything happening the way it was.

"I think you've said enough Janet and…I'm going to be really late if I don't hurry up…I look okay right?" Claire said wiping the tears out of her eyes and standing in front of her closet friend who had tears falling down her cheeks.

"You look lovely, like usual." Janet smiled at her friend although it didn't reach her eyes as she passed Ash over to her then looked back to the T.V which had been playing in the background.

"see you later my little star," Claire grinned hugging her baby boy close and kissing his nose and forehead before handing him back to her friend.

"when will you be home?" Janet asked as Claire headed to the door with her purse in hand.

"err, I shouldn't be that late I'll call though don't worry." Claire smiled softly at her friend and child before waving softly and reaching for the apartment's front door handle.

"Mummy?" a small high pitch call came from the bottom of the hallway were a small red headed four year old stood in her Barbie pyjamas clutching her pink teddy to her small frame.

"Asia sweetie what are you doing still awake?" Claire sighed softly kneeling down and opening her arms to her eldest child.

Asia ignored her question but none the less ran into her mum's arms and gently sobbing the thing that would break any mothers' heart. "You not leavin' again mummy, you do that last night." Asia sobbed into her mum's chest dropping her teddy and squeezing her mum as tight as she could.

"Oh honey bunny what are you on about? I didn't leave last night-" Claire softly spoke but was interrupted but Asia and Janet.

"You did Claire," Janet sighed gently rocking the crying Ash in her arms.

"You did mummy," Asia sobbed looking up into Claire's eyes which filled with tears that threatened to fall.

"I-"Claire started but stopped gently kissing her daughters head and standing up. "I have to go Asia I'll see you in the morning baby okay? Please don't cry last time promise."

"pinkie-promise…"Asia sniffed holding her pinkie finger up to her mum.

"pinkie-promise," Claire laughed softly carrying her back to bed with their little fingers wrapped together.

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"Trying to drown your sorrows?" a masculine deep voice chuckled at Claire's side as she sat on the bar stool ordering lass after glass of wine and the occasional martini.

"Something like that," she sighed turning her head to the side and facing the owner of the voice.

Although she'd never admit it he was the best looking man she'd seen and would ever see although she didn't quite know it yet. His hair was what could only be described as sex hair although she liked to think he wasn't a man whore and decided it was bed head. His face itself looked like someone had carved it out of stone it was so pale but the tell tale sign was his two day's old scruff that although she'd always hated the look of found in endearing on him. His nose was even perfect which was often a flaw for everyone even herself, she always found her to big to be classed as a button but not big enough to be classed as anything else. his lips, oh his lips, plump pink lips that she'd never been so forward but just wanted to kiss so badly. His eyes though they were his best feature although she hadn't seen his body yet, they were wide and child like but didn't make him seem cute only make it seem he was a prize that nobody could win, they were a brilliant shade a see blue that reminded her of the time she took her kids to the beach just them no extra help it had been the best day of her life and she basked in the hidden memory before smiling coyly at the unnamed man and looking back at her glass.

Maybe Janet had been right, actually scratch that Claire knew she'd been right up until this moment. The party had been the usual women looking cheap throwing themselves at any guy they could, men lapping it up like dogs it was all the same it always was looking back on it she should've stayed at home with the people she loved.

"Penny for your thoughts…." The still unnamed man smiled trailing off silently asking for her name.

"You'd have to be rich," she smirked looking into his eyes silently daring him to say his name first.

"will you share if I tell you my name?" he grinned challenging her as he took a seat on the stool next to her.

"hmm…that does seem fair."

"yeah it does…"

"going to share?" she turned her full attention to him.

"I'm Jamie and there's your answer." He chuckled taking a sip out of his beer which she didn't notice before.

Claire gazed at him and then decided if he ran away he wasn't worth it in the first place plus she wasn't ashamed of anything she'd done especially not her children.

"I'm Claire and I have two kids," was all she said smiling silently down at her glass.

"was that rehearsed because it sounded like it was prepared for the alcoholic's of Seattle," he laughed moving closer.

Claire couldn't hold it in anymore she looked at him for ten seconds straight before laughing hard which felt great, she hadn't in such a long time.

"Jokes aside, what are their names?" Jamie laughed.

"Asia and Ash," Claire told him proudly.

"going for all A's I'm guessing?"

"Yep, what should the next one be?" she giggled as The Smiths How Soon Is Now came on and she grabbed Jamie's hand and pulled him onto the dance floor.

"Amethyst," Jamie said softly into her ear.

Then they spend the whole night spilling their guts out and then onto more adult things.

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"Crap," Claire groaned sitting up in an unfamiliar bed with unfamiliar arms wrapped around her.

Looking to her right she gasped as she saw Jamie sprawled out on the bed his well developed abs on show. Oh no, everything rushed back to her full speed. Without thinking she jumped out of bed putting her clothes back on and running full speed out of his apartment but not before leaving a note with a kiss she had quickly placed on the paper with her coral lipstick and her very own lips.

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Jamie woke up to the sound of his alarm clock going off and to an empty bed, he searched his apartment before finding a note left on his beside table along with her coral lipstick.

Dear Jamie,

I'm sorry but I wasn't looking for anything special I wasn't actually looking for anything, funny how things turn out that way…I don't know what to write to be honest but I couldn't leave without anything as a reminder I've took one hope you don't mind your figure it out one day…I can only give you one thing and hope you'll understand.

"How can you say

I go about things the wrong way

I am Human and I need to be loved

Just like everybody else does"

~ Claire xxx

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End of Flashback

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I figured it out finally all this time my mum was looking for love but she only ever found it once and then…let it slip through her fingers I was her undoing.

"What's she called Claire?" an outraged yell brought me back from my thoughts.

"Amethyst," I moved closer to my mum's quiet sob as she wrapped her arms around her torso.

"How could you?" the man whispered brokenly moving closer to her as she sobbed.

"You didn't need to know, you had my coral lipstick." She sobbed throwing herself at him.

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Anyone else emotional? Not being vain but I thought that was a pretty good chapter please review and if you have any questions please ask

Love you all ~ Morgan xxx