Cassie,

who knew aloe vera was such an aphrodisiac? I sure didn't. I'm buying breakfast and going for a swim. You still do pirouettes when you sleep. Last night it involved elbowing me in the face. That's okay, though.

It's still adorable.

Love,

Sidney the Crab

Cassie couldn't help but giggle. He had been so sunburnt the night before, he was whimpering getting out of the bathtub. He had then tried to lay in bed, squealed and stood up. He had to stand there, red, naked, and whimpering, and it was the most adorable sight in the world. Cassie probably didn't help matters by falling onto the bed laughing at him. But he was terribly awkward and funny.

He'd left the journal on the pillow. She introduced it to him before bed, and he loved it. Cassie looked up – there was a vase full of beautiful spring flowers on the bedside table. She looked into the vase and it was all brown and dirty. Ah. He had picked them, probably on his walk this morning.

It briefly occurred to her that they should fight more often. She laid back on the bed, looking up at the flowers. He then walked in, walked over to her, and laid beside her on the bed. 'Hey you…'

'You're' an expert flower picker.' She kissed him.

'Oh yeah? I try." He laughed. He fit himself in between her legs and laid his head on her shoulder. 'I already feel like a mid-morning nap…'

"What about a mid-morning breakfast?"

He chuckled. "Oh, yeah. I left it on the table by the door." She tried to push him off.

"Well it's not going to walk itself over here is it?" He grinned and got up, laid back down on the bed. She smirked at him as she walked over and retrieved the paper bag in which there were a couple of doughnuts. She smiled at him as he looked at her expectantly. "Thanks, babe."

Great. Just looking at these made her nauseous. There's no way. She got them out and handed him one, then sat next to him, turning it around in her hands as she sat beside him.

"Errphyphinng mppk?" came a donut-filled Sid.

She looked over at him and nodded. But even looking at him, at the greasy donut, she calculated just how many calories were contained in every single bite of his donut. He'd probably get 600 calories out of that, and that was fine for him. He had trouble keeping a single pound of weight on him. But just looking at this would probably put a couple of pounds on her. But here he was, looking at her.

She'd just said she was hungry. She had to do this. "Oh yeah. It's great." She took a bite of it, immediately disgusted. She tried to swallow it, but felt like getting sick.

She had to force it down her stomach. That hamburger she had last night wasn't this hard to accomplish, why was this simple little donut giving her so much trouble? Come on, Cassie. Eat the fucking doughnut. It's just a doughnut. Then you can go for a run, and it'll all feel better.

So she did. She scarfed it in a couple of bites, tried not to think about how rich it was, how she could feel it expanding inside of her, how gross it felt going down into her stomach. She smiled at him. "I'm uh…I'm going to shower up, babe," she said, kissing his cheek. The thought of those doughnuts in his mouth suddenly made him really unsexy. "Can I join you?" He asked innocently.

She grinned at him. "Nah, just a quick shower. That's all. Then we can go for a morning walk." He kissed her cheek. "More like a mid-morning nap." She got up and went into the bathroom, locking the door behind her, turning the faucet on.

She felt impossibly nauseous. Come on, Cassie. Come on. Come on. She sat there, determined to make it. Determined to let this feeling pass through her.

Then she looked down at her stomach, noticed the folds of skin. She stretched some of it. Nope. Can't do it. Won't do it. I tried.

She then turned the shower on, and let it come back up. Sid was suspicious with how long it took her to eat the donut, but he didn't say anything. But then he heard the faucet going for so long. She could've been just brushing her teeth, he told himself. Stop overthinking things. Don't assume the worst of her, you don't want to start a fight.

Then the shower turned on, and he thought 'well, maybe I'll just check on her. See if everything's okay, and give her a kiss.' He didn't knock, just came in, and she was sitting there. She didn't hear him. She was sitting there with her head in her hands. She'd just puked, he could tell. Oh, Cassie. He turned the shower water off and sat next to her.

She looked up at him. "I was, I was just…" He didn't say anything, which is when she started crying. "Come here, Cass." She leaned up against him, leaned up against the wall.

He rubbed her arm and studied the look on her face. It was like she was trying not to think these things. "So. Fucking. Disgusting." She whispered.

"I'm sorry, I uh..I won't get you donuts again. I wasn't thinking, Cass. I'm sorry. I know you hate them."

She shook her head, put her hands on her stomach, started pulling at the fat. Oh, he thought. That's what she means. She closed her eyes and banged her head back against the wall twice before he put his arm behind her. "Hey," he said sternly.

He gathered her up into his arms, and she nestled her head in his neck. He just rocked her there for a minute. "I just want to be grateful that you love me, Sid. That you want me. I just…"

"I know. It's not that simple." Sid closed his eyes and pulled her tighter. He prayed for this to be removed from her, to leave their marriage alone. He prayed for her to be able to eat without analyzing every little bit of something in her food. He wanted food not to torture her. So he asked it of God. He asked for his wife back, and he held her tighter and tighter as he prayed because he felt like someone was going to come and snatch her up, or that she was going to slip through his fingers. Either way, something bad, and he couldn't stop it or protect her.

Effie didn't take her headphones off until Mark made her during the assembly. During that, she just stared at the wall. Boring stuff about rules, et cetera. Then they went to their cabins. Great. She was bunking with all the girls who sneered and laughed at her.

She picked a bottom bunk in the corner of the room, away from all the girls. Mark had taken her phone, and her iPod. No media during this camp, he'd said. Just us, and God. Awesome. So she put her sleeping bag out on her bed, and reached into her duffel bag for her sweatshirt.

Under it was a leather bible. That's funny. I don't own a bible. She picked it up and a note fell out. She laid back on her bed and unfolded the piece of paper.

Elizabeth,

there's a box of biscuits directly in the middle of this duffel bag. You'll get in trouble if they find it, so be stealthy. It might make you popular with the girls, being the only one there with contraband. I hope you don't hate it too bad, yet. I didn't do this to ruin your life but I think it'll turn out better than you're expecting. Oh, and I love you.

I really do, always have. You're my Effers. I've never called you a slut, and I cringe when you do, because you most certainly aren't. I. Love. You.

I worry about you. And I worry about you hanging around Cook. Anyhow, I know you're not happy here, but it will be over before you know it. If you freak out, don't do something stupid, please? Tell Mark you need to talk to me, and call me.

Also, enjoy this bible. I know, I know, you don't believe in God and all that rubbish, right? Well, you were gonna need a bible here anyway. Enjoy it.

Tony

p.s. please let eating those biscuits be the only trouble you get into?

She wiped away a couple of tears and slid the note in the back of the bible. Then she looked up, shocked. Michelle walked in, camp counselor shirt on. Her sweet, old self. So sweet you got a nauseous feeling in your stomach and you got cavities.

"Oh, hey Effie!" She smiled, came over and gave Effie a hug. "I didn't know you'd be here! How are you?"

She said it in that same slightly annoying tone. How are yoooou.

"I'm…uh…you're a Christian now, too?" She didn't hide the shock in her voice. The Lipstick Party Princess was a bible thumper now? Michelle laughed at the incredulous look on Effie's face but she didn't look offended. "Yeah, actually. A lot's changed since I moved away, but I was fortunate enough to get this job, so here I am. What about you?"

Effie shook her head. "Oh, uh…I kind of have to be here. Tony forced it on me."

Michelle nodded understandingly, making a mental note to call him later. "Ohh. I see." Effie gave her a look. "No, I didn't mean that. I just…yeah. Are you pissed at him?" Effie shrugged.

"Just doing his moral duty to save his horrible lost sister. Who can blame him." Effie laid back on the bed.

"He doesn't think you're horrible, Effie."

"When's the last you talked to Tony?" Michelle thought about it for a minute.

"Christmas, I think."

"Yeah well, you don't know him. He's changed, too."

"Effie…"

"Stop it, Michelle. I don't want to be here." She surveyed the cabin and saw that all of the other girls had left it. "These girls are bitches and I hate it here. I want to go home."

Michelle shrugged. "Yeah, these girls do have a rep of being pretty hostile. But, if Tony forced you to come, he's probably too stubborn to let up on you. So, no use sulking is there?" She patted Effie's knee, which got her a glare.

"Right. Well. Dinner's ready."

Michelle then left her alone. She came to dinner after a few minutes, sat by Michelle. A familiar face was better than no face. But she tuned out during worship, during the sermon. She was starting to hate Tony again. Fuck him. This was going to be hell.

After all the girls went to shower, and some were tucked into bed, Michelle told them she'd be right back and slipped away with her cellphone. Their cabin had by far the best view. She sat on the big boulder by the lake and flipped through her phone contacts, hoping Tony was even still in her phone. They were still cordial, and she knew he was saved, too, but things just hadn't been the same between them for years. But hell if she didn't miss that kid. She found his number, then hesitated for a minute before calling him.

"Michelle?"

"Tony…" she'd even almost forgotten what his voice sounded like.

"Michelle. It's been forever!"

"I know, it feels like it." She felt the breeze and tucked her knees up to her chest. "How's Tony?"

"I'm good. I trust you've found Effie?"

"Yeah she's in my cabin. Pissed as hell that you made her come."

"Yeah, is she having any fun yet?"

"Strictly no fun. She mostly just sits there and pouts."

"That's kind of what I expected. I'm glad you're her counselor, though. She's been in a lot of trouble lately and there is seemingly nowhere for her to hang out in Bristol without getting in more trouble."

"Sounds like some kid I knew once. He was a real pain in the ass," Michelle said with a smile.

"Oh yeah? What ever became of him?"

"Well, God got His hands on him and smacked him in the face, from what I hear."

"Yeah. Hurts to be smacked in the face by God."

"So, I heard Cassie and Sid are married?"

"Yeah. They are. And…just now, Sid messaged me on facebook saying they're getting married again. Like, an actual ceremony this time."

"Oh, they didn't have one before?"

"No, they eloped. No one knew about it."

"Oh. Well, I hope they're doing okay."

"They are. What about you, any man in your life?"

Michelle bit her lip – she felt bad telling him. Yes, there was. But suddenly he didn't sound as good as Tony. Because he didn't KNOW her like Tony. "Yeah, my fiancee's name is Eric."

Tony didn't know what to think of that. He knew they hadn't been together since college, and that it just didn't work out. He knew that. He knew he didn't deserve to feel jealous, to want her to get back together just upon hearing her voice.

"Yeah? Well I hope he's a good guy."

"He is. I love him."

Tony didn't say anything for a minute.

"Well I have to-"

"I'm happy for you, Michelle."

"Thank you, Tony. I have to go. I'll call you sometime soon."

"Let me know how Effie's doing, would you?"

"Certainly. Goodnight, Tony."

"Night, Michelle."

She hung up on him, and stared at his picture for a minute. Oh, Tony.

"CHELLLEEEE!" Eric yelled out to her while he ran and then came to sit on the rock beside her. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, just called an old friend to talk. His little sister's in my cabin."

"Oh. Well. You okay? You look a little sad." She smiled up at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just haven't talked to him in a while is all."

He kissed her forehead. "Well, we're all doing a campfire, so you should make sure all your girls are in and come join us."

Michelle laughed. "Okay. Mischevious, are we?"

Eric laughed. "See you in a minute?" She nodded and walked back up to the cabin, where all the girls were asleep, save Effie. She was under her sleeping bag with a flashlight. Michelle knelt down and tapped on her. Effie turned the flashlight off and pretended to be sleeping.

"It's not lights out yet, Effie," Michelle whispered. Effie pulled back the sleeping bag cover. Her bible was by her head and her mascara was bleeding. Effie wiped her eyes.

"Want to talk about it?" Effie shrugged. Michelle beckoned her outside, to the benches that sat on the cabin. She just started crying once Michelle got her outside so she gathered her up in her arms.

"Oh, Eff. It's been a day, hasn't it?"

Effie shrugged. "I can't..fucking…I want to stop disappointing Tony but I can't believe in this." Effie pulled away and sat down, wiped her eyes off with her sleeve.

"He loves you, Eff. He's not disappointed in you." Effie shrugged.

"He highlighted a bunch of verses in my bible, left notes beside them."

"See? You are loved."

Effie just sat there for a while. "I could kill for a cigarette."

"Sorry, no cigs here, but if you start feeling icky, the nurse might give you a nicotine patch."

"I'm glad you're here Michelle."

"I'm glad you're here, too. Give this place a chance. It might not suck if you give it enough of a chance."

Effie half-smiled, and Michelle counted that a victory.

"Now go to bed. Lights out is in 10 minutes." Effie nodded and walked back up to the cabin. Michelle went in after to check on the girls, but then quietly snuck out again, and it wasn't long before she was sitting by Eric and the campfire was going, chocolate bars, graham crackers and marshmallows being passed around. Eric smiled and slipped his hand into hers. All of the counselors, including herself, were relieved this hectic first day was over. She looked over at Eric, eating a s'more raw.

He was like that. He never even toasted his pop-tarts or bagels. He sure was quirky but adorable as well, and incredibly passionate about seeing the lost get saved, especially teenagers, ands he had been so drawn to that. He loved her, too. He adored her. She'd never been adored by someone before.

Maybe that's because she'd only ever given Tony a chance while in college, and he ended finding everyone to sleep with but her. So, it didn't make sense how much she missed Tony. How much she really wanted to go to Bristol after camp and find out what it feels like to be kissed by him again. She squeezed Eric's hand. He grinned at her, marshmallow and graham cracker showing. No.

Tony was sweet, but he had only ever broken her heart. Eric wasn't going to. He was treating her like a princess, and he truly loved her. He always would. Tony would just mess this all up if she kept thinking about him. She had to stop it.

She would stop it. She would not think of Tony as anything but a friend. A shadow ripped by them, and it caught her eye. Then it fell, an 'oh-shit!' and all of the counselors got silent.

Michelle knew exactly who it was. "Effie! Stop right there!" She got up with a flashlight and walked over, shone a light on her. Effie stood up, looked down sheepishly. "What are you doing? Where were you going?"

Effie shrugged. Michelle shook her head. "Are you LOOKING for trouble to get into? Come on. We're going back to the cabin." Effie didn't give her sass, or anything, but still. Was she really just trying to run away?

Cassie was looking through websites on the computer when Sid came back to the room. "What-cha doing?" He asked, and flopped onto the bed beside her. Several hospital's websites were open on the screen.

"Just finding outpatient treatment centers…"

He rubbed her back while she looked. "Any look good?"

"Yeah, Renewed looks good. I wouldn't mind going there." He leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"I'm proud of you for seeking out help like this yourself, Cassie." She half-smiled and clicked out of the websites, turning the computer off, and laid back on the bed. He put his head in her shoulder, and she ran her hands through his hair. He liked the feeling of her fingers in her hair, so he just closed his eyes. "I don't wanna go home," he muttered.

"It's not going to be so bad," Cassie was quiet but sure, and she kept gently brushing his hair with her hands. "We're going to have an awesome ceremony, and Ben's going to stay with us, and I'm going to treatment. It won't suck that bad." Sid shrugged. He had started selling his art in the past few months, and it wasn't doing too bad. He thought that maybe, that could make up for Cassie being in treatment. He didn't want to make any comments or pressure her about money, because he knew she'd just drop out of treatment and get a job.

"I suppose," he sighed. She kissed his forehead and let him fall asleep like that, his arm extended across her stomach, head rested on her shoulder. She was scared to go home. But she'd have to do it anyway, so she just closed her eyes and savored that moment when nothing in the world was wrong.