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Saturday 4/4/15

I was in shock on Wednesday, I can write what happened now. Still, the numbness from the school principal's news on Tuesday shook me to the bone.

All that mattered in the morning was the fact I didn't want to walk, I went to school, I sat with Gaara, and in fourth period we were called to the hall. Simple as that.

And he told us then, he went into a long winded speech, but I wasn't listening. Did anybody know why he died? The principal didn't say.

I do. It was drug overdose. He said he died on Sunday night. I saw him. I was possibly the last to do so. I could have stopped him that night.

I could have prevented it, I was given knowledge and I could have saved a life. I ignored it, I was selfish. I thought only for myself.

And now he's dead. Kiba is dead; the boy with a strange love for dogs is dead. We put a plaque for him at the gate. But it won't change anything.

I didn't cry. I just stood and watched crowds of bawling people wander out of the hall, it took Gaara to take my hand and lead me out of the hall to lunch to get me to move.

All lunch I didn't let go of his hand, even when we sat down he didn't eat because I wouldn't let go.

Eventually Gaara asked why I was in so much shock. All I managed to say was "I could have saved him…"

Gaara seemed to understand a bit, and didn't ask any more, but just sat by me. And after a while the bell rang, and I numbly went to class. In which I sat next to Sasuke (art) and he patted me on the back. He knew less then Gaara but he could see I didn't take it well.

In Blodge Naruto did the same, he looked pale too. He had known Kiba since kindergarten.

I'm as good as a murderer. All those times I STRIVED to avoid it. I killed Kiba. Nobody knows it, but all those people who loved him could have been saved trouble.

I never said anything. I thought it'd be better… Kiba can look after himself…. He doesn't need me…. I can't do anything anyway….

I don't know what to do.

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Sunday 5/4/15

School is tomorrow. The funeral is today. My birthday is in 20 days. Holidays in 2 weeks.

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11:12

I know what to do! I do.

We were standing in the funeral, all the procession garbed in black, a hint of dark purple and maroon, the family stood weeping, I didn't cry. Nobody else I knew came besides Naruto, the year was invited, only his friends came, and I didn't know them.

So Sasuke and Gaara didn't care? Sakura's tears were crocodile tears? They were fine to stand and bow there heads but not get out of bed to show respect?

Anger filled me as I stood watching his father and brothers carry the coffin down, it was cloudy and a cliché drizzle started, and I think this didn't help the mood. People started to cry harder, and nobody put up an umbrella.

Did anybody know the culprit for his death rested on the small girl right to his aunt? Would they want revenge? Would I be thrown in another potato sack? Was it too late to help Shikamaru?

I know I can't let him die or end up hurt. Kiba's death was a wake-up call, out of the blue and unlooked for, I know now sakura and Shika must be looked after, for is nobody else has noticed this, and I have, it rests with me to do what I know is right.

Naruto is the kind of person to take a friends death personally, no matter what to connection, he sees us as a team. And a death of a team-mate is to be hailed as a tragedy. Maybe Naruto's way is more hurtful then ours, but it pays the respect Kiba deserves.

Sakura needs somebody; I'll let her stay at my house as long as she wants.

Shika im going to talk too, it doesn't matter if there's a god out there who wants me to do this or not, it wouldn't change my actions. Kiba wasn't meant to die, and I could have seen it through, at the least I could have told somebody.

Death is so harsh. To think I'll never see Kiba again is weird.

Naruto stood through it all. Once of twice I saw him wipe a tear from his face, and anger filled me again that Sasuke and Gaara weren't here. Afterwards we both went back to my place and sat in silence for a while, drinking tea. He went home later, and now im here.

Now im different. Now I have something to work on. A few days before Kiba's death all that mattered was wether Pam would kick me off the bus, or if I could bludge through Blodge, Now none of it matters, the small things now are put in perspective.

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Monday 6/4/15

All throughout school people have graphitised walls with 'R.I.P Kiba, we'll miss you.' to think all these randoms are bothered to write on walls and not to come to his funeral.

I found sakura. I told her to come to my place whenever she needed it, and that it doesn't matter what the cause, if she just needs somebody, to find me.

I'll talk to Shika in debating tomorrow.

Things are going to change.

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Tuesday 7/4/15

Things are starting to find there way back to normal. Slowly, people are laughing and talking again. I did, Sasuke tripped over and a hundred Fangirls came to help him up. They trampled him before they realized they were going to be late to class and ran off, sure, we both were late to class, but the teachers know by now that if Sasuke comes in with footprints all over him he's excused.

Kiba ran off when I asked if I could talk to him. If I have to man all the bathrooms at school with a patrol (I'll get Naruto to help, he'll stand by the toilets all lunch with me) I will, I'll find him eventually. Hopefully eventually won't be too late.

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Wednesday 8/4/15 – I found Shika.

I cornered him in debating, he looks bad.

"Shika, can I talk to you?"

"No, I'm leaving my bus comes soon." He said, not looking at me.

"There's another 15 minutes until the bell dearie." I say, showing him my watch.

"And I hate rushing, im packing up now instead."

"Shika…" I say warningly, then sigh. "Well too bad, im a-talking to you now."

"Whatever."

"Look, you need to eat." I say simply. "And unless you want me to go and tell Tsnuade, which you don't, I suggest you let me help you."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well I do." I say firmly. "And you better too unless you want to end up in Counselling. My case is pretty easy to prove." I say, I was hoping it wouldn't result in Blackmail, but it has.

"Oh, how?" he asked sarcastically.

"Lift your shirt up." I say simply.

Problem here: Sasuke walked in.

Yeah. Touch suss. I shall tell him to ignore it later. "Sasuke go away." I guess he hasn't heard that kind of confidence in me before, I had to say this and Sasuke can go off and find Naruto.

"Er- I'll just… go…" And he ran out. I have never seen Sasuke so weirded-out. Even the time Naruto dared me to give him a lap-dance. Which I did. That was the radio-day. That radio has bad influenced on us….

Anyway, Shika and I have a stare-off. I wasn't going to back down now. Shika sighed. "I don't know what your on, but I'm not going to strip for you."
"I DON'T WANT YOU TO BLOODY STRIP I WANT YOU TO EAT!" I was angry. I snapped. It wasn't my fault. My voice rang through the whole library, Sakura and Sasuke both turned to our room and looked at us. I turn red. "Whoops…Well, whatever, but I will go tell the councillor, either that or you let me help you. That's all I have to say."

I walked back to the room with Sasuke and Sakura in it and sat down.

"Well, she can yell." Sakura muttered.

I turn red again. "So-sorry, I didn't mean too…" Oh god. Stuttering comes back. Even around sakura strangely.

Sasuke sighed. "Now look what you've done. She's gone all st-st-stuttery on us."

"Shh…" sakura said jokingly. "You'll make it worse."

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HELLOOO!! Thank you so much for the reviews- and there are no cheetah's in Australia. There are Koala's and other random stuff, but no Cheetah's, whoever told you that deserves Stupid Claps stupidclapsforpersonwhotoldyouthattherewerecheeta'sinAustralia hehehe. Anyway, my friends and I went generally Spaz and it was fun! Hehe, thanks heaps!

Ta-ta! To-love-is-to-lie