Friday 10/4/15

We won our State debate, I can't believe it, the Country one is coming up, and I'm so nervous, apparently this school is really good! AND YOU KNOW WHATS WORSE? I have to practise public speaking! Iruka says every second lunchtime he wants to see me and the team practise (he is taking this seriously) until I get it right, because if Sasuke or somebody gets sick then we need a stand-in. And that will be me. And if I can't talk we are SCREWED.

So, I found myself yesterday afternoon walking with Gaara (which has become our new thing, because besides weekends and (some) classes we hardly get that much time together with work and everything. Kiba's death still haunts me, but I know if I come to school looking as hollow and puffy-eyed as everyone else who cared for Kiba it will take my mind of everything else and soon more people would be put as risk.

It's strange how I find myself suddenly a leaning post for so many people, a majority who don't know it, their future's rest on what Shika does, and what Shika does rests mostly on me, being the only one who knows.

My mother, when she was still talking to me, always said 'We have naught to do with our own futures, it is the people and animals around us that make our Futures' and now I see so much truth in it.

The people I walk past in the street, they could end my life, but they don't, every day my life rests on the edge of a knife, delicately balanced, and swayed only slowly by the breezes my surroundings make, and I am doing the same to everyone else, their actions and their thoughts rest on what I, and everyone else they stand by, does.

Everyone, from the so-called insignificant to the people who we would trust with anything, hold our lives. Wether we like it or not.

Anyway, I walked with Gaara, having given up on the Bus weeks ago.

"GARRA WAIT YOU BASTARD!" I yell, running to catch up with him, some year seven-ers look at me shocked-like because I called him a bastard. They are so innocent.

He turns and looks at me with the usual bland stare. I call it his welcome stare.

"Yes?"

"You started walking without me!" I say angrily, panting.

"You were with Iruka." One-to-Four word answer again. I don't know how he manages it.

"I know! And guess what!? IT'S HORRIBLE!"

"I don't care."

"Sure you do."

He sighs. "Fine, what?"

"HE WANTS ME TO SPEAK!"

"Yes? You DO do debating." He added. Oh, that was five words! But I have the strangest feeling he is jealous, he hates it when I spend time with Sasuke or Naruto or debating and the such.

"Every second lunch time until I can speak I have to practise with Sasuke and sakura and Shikamaru!"

"And…?"

"Well… Er, you see, the first one is tomorrow and I was wondering if you would come."

"Tomorrow is Saturday."

"Fine, Monday," I say angrily. "But will you come?"

"I don't see why my presence would make any difference." He says as we continue our walk along the road.

"You're my best friend Gaara," I say frowning. "Your presence means the world."

Then it was like the time he said 'you're not invisible, they just don't know what to look for.' I kept walking, brooding angrily, and he stopped, the words seemed to have hit him hard, I turn and smile.

"Come on, hurry up! I don't wanna be late for work."

He shakes himself, and jogs to catch up.

"So will you come?" I ask hopefully.

"Fine, I will."

I smile. "Thanks."

We walk home, giggling and occasionally trying to trip one-another over, its strange how at times Gaara is so fun to be around, and sometimes he is as moody as anything. I think he PMS's.

Anyway, work was really boring, and I need to prove to Shika I know, he can't go into denial more, so I plan to man the toilets all lunch and recess. Well, if I can't, Naruto will.

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Sunday 12/4/15

Spent the weekend with Gaara and Sasuke. It wasn't good. Those boys don't get on. I think it's a bad idea that they should ever be in the same room again.

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Monday 13/4/15 – I caught Sasuke and Naruto looking suspicious again, and I thought they had dropped the holiday thing, my birthday is coming up. I don't trust them.

Our first practise with me speaking was today. Gaara didn't come.

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8:29

We practised all through work, after my deliveries, we had a one-on-one debate, which kinda doesn't work, but we had to speak on the spot and Naruto judged.

I won ONE. And that I only think because Naruto felt sorry for me. Damn him to hell.

I can't stop shaking when I try to talk formally, even around Naruto and Sasuke.

Like, he gave us a topic of Umbrella's and I repeated the fact it's bad luck if you open them indoors three times. My speech lasted 8 minutes. Why? Because I St-st-stuttered the whole way through, this is a disaster.

I saw Gaara as well. He didn't mention not coming. Either did I. I guess it doesn't matter…. It's only a practise…

I still with he had of been there. Maybe it's only coz he doesn't like being around Sasuke.

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Tuesday 14/4/15

Hahahahahaha. In basically all our classes we are just bludging, we just sit and talk, except for Art, Tsnuade would never let us do that. She is scary when she's angry.

In science Kakashi just opened a book and READ. We just shrugged and continued talking.

Somebody else knows about Kiba's murder. On the shack wall it's written 'Kiba Died Here.' Somebody else holds guilt for this too. It's not just me.

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Wednesday 15/4/15- Sport didn't run today, since it's the last week and that.

In P.E we did DANCING… Dancing. DANCING DAMNIT! It was embarrassingly hilarious, and Gai wouldn't let us go out of our crazy bush-dancing pose while he explained it, so I had to wait for fifteen minutes with Gaara's hands on my hips and my hands around his neck, and you know how uncomfortable that can get after a while?

Anyway, we did a dance where you move on to a new partner every time which was better because we have more girls then boys so there were girl's as guys too.

When I danced with Shika he is skin and bone, I whispered in his ear to gain weight the whole time while he argued he didn't know what I was on about.

I got him though. on the way out he tripped 'mysteriously' and his shirt 'mysteriously' got caught on something, a few people stopped and frowned muttering 'Skinny bastard…" while sizing up themselves.

No! THEY DON'T SEE THE POINT! YOU CAN SEE HIS BLOODY RIBS!

I look at him as if to say 'See?' as he fixes his shirt. He glowers and ignores me, muttering about my just causing trouble.

I narrow my eyes. "Oh, I'll show you troublesome…"

Sasuke runs up behind me and shoves me, grinning. "Why are you so evil today?" he asks.

"Why are you so happy today?" I snap.

He shrugs, instantly resuming his smirky usual self. Damnit. I shouldn't have said anything. I see Gaara walking ahead and excuse myself, knowing he'd be angry if I ditched him for Sasuke.

In Science we got to mess about with food dyes and other entertaining materials, we all came out with blue and green stained faces and hands.

And I can tell you, the dye isn't washing off. I have a feeling Kakashi played a cruel joke on us.

Debating practise wasn't any better. I tried to speak but couldn't, this time I managed to choke on my own spit and launching into a coughing fit.

How can anyone CHOKE on THEIR OWN spit? IT'S LIKE IMPOSSIBLE! But I did it. How I did it, I don't know. But I managed it.

Gaara didn't come again.

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Thursday 16/4/15 – one more day….

CAN'T WAAAIIITT! I can finally superglue myself to my mattress and stay in my PJ's and celebrate the fact I'll be 16 and finally allowed to be on my own legally. You know what I wonder? Who is leaving school this year, who's gonna go on to year 12?

Oh well, first we need to get through the School Certificate. The teachers are laying off now they have given us our Holiday Homework, they're as tired as us and can't be bothered to do much.

Except Gai-Sensei, we're still dancing. I danced with Tenten today, because she was one of the girls who had to act as a guy. It was better then Dancing with Lee. Lee is a horrible Dancer.

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Friday 17/4/15- LAST DAY OF SCHOOOOL!

It was awesome. We just went spaz all day long and jumped out windows and didn't do anything, we didn't do Debating prac today, none of us could be bothered, instead I stayed with Gaara and we played Chases all day and was really random.

I hid behind a tree and waited, eventually after I sat down and started yawning he found me and I had to run for my life it's weird how Gaara is so happy at times, and scowly-moody-unhappy-pants at others.

He swept my up bridal-style laughing, my blonde hair flying in the wind. We had run all the way home laughing so much we couldn't breathe and had to stop and walk.

At work Naruto and I were really high (on life… no drugs for us) and couldn't stop laughing over something I don't even remember, and then I snorted when I laughed and we all laughed even harder and then Sasuke walked into the batcave to see us lying on the Grain-bags laughing so much we nearly peed ourselves and just walked out again and we laughed harder then ran for the bathrooms.

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HEELLOOO!!! A bit happier then the last chapter, yay for holidays! Anyway, please review, I love you heaps!!! Thanks so much!!!!

To-love-is-to-lie