Little by little, the audience began to disperse, the music came back on, and the fancy spinning neon ceiling lights illuminated the gigantic room once again. The guests continued their mingling like nothing ever happened. Although I knew that wasn't completely true; they're going to be watching out for me now, just in case they get to see a second show. For me, however, my whole perspective on life was just changed in an instant.

I was in a daze. Everything and everyone around me slowly faded away, but for some reason, Chad's face was the only thing left in high quality. He didn't believe that I was really stalking Hayden, did he? He saw us talking. He knew that it was mutual. He knew that. Right?

I turned to Chad, numb to the tears still rolling down my red cheeks. "Chad, you know I didn't-"

"Sonny, please, don't talk right now." he begged, hanging his head down. Tawni awkwardly glanced at James, most likely anticipating that something bad was going to happen that they shouldn't witness. She had to force him away by dragging him by the ear.

I gulped. Something told me this wasn't going to end well.

I tried again. "Hayden is a liar, Chad. I wasn't-" my voice cracked as I spoke.

"Sonny, I said be quiet." he said sternly this time, beginning to move his legs and walk away. I followed him.

"But Chad, I-"

"Shut up, Sonny!" he snapped, balling his fists together and holding them securely at his sides. He took a small glance at me, and his taut lips morphed into a smirk. This scared me. It wasn't his usual confident smirk. No, this one had more negative emotions in it. He was hurt, I could tell. But why?

"Chad, are you-" I whispered softly, only to have him cut me off once again.

"I can't believe I let you trick me, again." he muttered with his head down.

"What?" I choked out.

Slowly, he raised his head up so he could face me. He looked so vulnerable then, so confused, so betrayed. For some reason, that made me want to hug him overwhelmingly. But I couldn't.

"You walk around here like you're the victim of some horrible crime. Like I'm the bad guy." he spat, staring at me disgustedly. His sharp eyes were like knives, slicing into my already open wounds. I took a deep breath and swallowed before I spoke, so that my words didn't come out incoherently.

"Chad, I really don't know what you're talking about." I managed to get out.

"Oh, you don't?" he countered menacingly. "You and Hayden out on my porch, you...pleasuring him...right there? Refresh your memory?"

I blinked, taken aback. Why would I do something like that? And what makes Chad think I would?

"Chad, I didn't! That's not true!" I exclaimed. He raised his eyebrows at me, unconvinced. I probably seemed defensive, which would confirm that his accusation was true. I took another deep breath, and tried to calm down; which was incredibly tough to do, considering the chain of events in the last twenty minutes. "We were just talking. Then he said I was stalking him when he found out I was working for you, to justify him being seen with me." I sniffled. Was I really that bad to be around?

"Well, I know that part is true," he agreed softly. I was more than grateful that he understood. Abruptly, he hardened again. His blue eyes pierced at me. "Hayden plays with people's emotions so he can get what he wants, then he drops them when he's satisfied. He's a user, Sonny." he almost shouted. His eyes made direct contact with mine, causing me to be unable to turn away. He bent down to meet my height, glaring. "And you two deserve each other." he stated sharply, stood up straight, turned his back to me, and started to hurriedly walk away. I ran to catch up with him, which was very hard to do in heels. I focused my undying attention on the back of his white shirt, so that I wouldn't lose him in the crowd. I tried to reach out and touch him, getting him to stop, but kept missing. Finally, I succeeded to grab his shoulder.

"Chad, please, stop!" I pleaded. It scared me at first, how much I cared of what he thought. He obeyed, but shrugged my boney hand off of his shoulder. I began to grow hopeful again. Maybe he was going to listen to me. Maybe we could talk this out. "Chad, you know I wasn't-"

"Leave me alone!" he yelled, but I wasn't going to give in. I continued, "I don't know where you heard it from, but Hayden and I weren't doing anything like that, at all!" I yelled as loudly as I could, hoping the volume of my voice would somehow make my words more believable.

"Sonny, I'm sick of your crap! I'm sick of your excuses, and I'm sick of your lies." he listed, his arms flailing as he spoke. "You're full of bull, Sonny." he barked with venom dripping from his voice, his eyes decreasing to a darker shade of blue.

What else could I say to convince him? I didn't…I couldn't…

"Chad, please," I blubbered, starting to cry even harder than before. If things kept going like this, my tear ducts were going to be empty by the time I was home.

He looked as if he was getting more than annoyed. His face was red from all the shouting, and his now dark, narrowing blue eyes gave me a long, bitter, icy stare. After what seemed like an excruciating eternity of his eyes drilling at me, he spoke. Well, more like burst. "Sonny, shut the hell up. Hayden's a jerk. He was always a jerk. And it's about time you found out. But he was right about one thing: You are trash. Not only trash, but a trashy slut. And I don't know why I waste my time with you."

Every word slammed me down to an all time low. His tone tore me apart. Maybe this was what hell was like. It had to be, because I couldn't imagine anything worst than what I was feeling.

I struggled not to let myself drop to the floor, another physical sign of how hated I felt. "Chad," I pleaded in a soft tone, unable to turn my volume up any louder. My only response was him lifting his hand up as he walked away, silently saying, end of discussion.

I'm starting to think that the universe is plotting against me. Maybe whoever is in charge of fate and stuff hates me. Maybe I won an award that they wanted to win, and now it's their mission to make my life miserable. It's cruel how it all works, really. Just when I think that I've got it all under control, this happens, making me even more confused. Why me? Why do I have to keep getting hurt? And why is my only option to shut her out?

And the most confusing thing? I finally got my revenge on Sonny. I told her off, I let out my anger, and I should feel on top of the world. Yet, I feel hurt, and confused, and sad. What the crap is up with that? I mean, what happened to Sonny was pretty much the exact replica of the scene that humiliated me. It was perfect. And I got to call her out on her lies at the same time. Why wasn't I happy to see her hurt? Why did I still not feel satisfied? Why did her tears make me feel like crying too?

And why the hell do I feel like Sonny cheated on me, again? We're not dating; we're barely friends. I should have expected this out of her, if she was sleeping around so much at seventeen. I don't know…I guess I was hoping she changed, for some odd reason. Maybe I was in denial the whole time. Maybe I haven't stopped caring about her. Maybe I did love her before when we were dating, and that's why I took the breakup so hard. Maybe I still do love her. Maybe I want to try us again.

Well, that was out the window now.

I resisted my urge to turn back around to see what she was doing. Honestly, I don't care now if she calls it quits for the night. I don't care if she goes upstairs, packs her bags, and leaves without a goodbye. At least I'll finally have peace. Maybe I can figure things out a little easier without her here to distract me.

"Chad," Tawni smiled at me sympathetically when she spotted me, and then pulled me in for a hug. It was nice, the feeling of being cared for. Still, I couldn't help but think that Tawni's hugs were nothing compared to Sonny's.

"H-Hey," I stuttered, surprised at how tight my throat was. Tawni released me, and stared at me, concerned. "You okay, hun?" she asked, her green eyes scanning me up and down. I probably looked like a mess. A hot mess. And I mean that in the sense that, I'm hot, even when I'm a mess.

"I've been better." I understated, trying my best to smile. She seemed to understand, and patted my shoulder comfortingly. "James told me about what she and Hayden did." she stated. Tawni gazed at me in a way that let me know that she knew what I might have been feeling for her, and how much that news hurt me. I just nodded.

"I'm really sorry, Chad."

"Me too." I sighed.

We just stood there in silence for a few moments, trying to collect our thoughts. Finally, Tawni spoke again, breaking the silence.

"I thought I saw something between you two," she started, and my head raised up higher in interest. "I could see that you still liked her, and I was sure that she felt the same way…but I guess not. It was really low what she did, Chad. And to think she fooled me into thinking that you were the villain." she shook her head, clearly ashamed of herself.

"Tawni, she fooled me too. It's just what she does." I comforted. She looked at me, not needing to angle her head up, since we were the same height. "I can't believe you're trying to make me feel better. You must be like totally sad."

I chuckled at her teen girl slang. "Yeah, something like that, but I'll live." I smiled, stuffing my hands into my pockets.

I then remembered what Tawni had said a few days ago. About Sonny making her rethink the hatred she had for her. I was afraid that Tawni would start giving me the cold shoulder instead, and become BFFs with Sonny.

"Sooo…are we okay now?" I asked Tawni, looking at her hopefully.

"Yeah, we're okay." she smiled.

"Hey, dude, what's up with the pity party?" I heard James's voice boom from behind me. He was doing some sort of conga dance by himself, kind of disturbing me. Tawni and I shared a look that asked, Is he drunk?

"Come on, stop moping, Chad. You're CDC, and you deserve better, right?" James encouraged.

I sighed. I am CDC. "Yeah, right." I said weakly. James accepted it anyway, and pointed me torwards some cute girls a few feet away from us, and gestured torwards a hot blonde guy for Tawni. She rolled her eyes, "God, James, he's so not my type." she rolled her eyes, and then fell on the view of a man with jet black hair and green eyes. "But he is…" she said, fluffed her hair, and strutted to the other side of the room.

"Ready to have some fun, bro?"

Fun…a distraction.

I could use that.

It's time for me to finally have some fun, and forget about Sonny.

I glanced around the room, my eyes setting on the attractive celebrities scattered across the room. James is right, I shouldn't be moping. This is a party, my party, and I should take advantage of it.

"I'm more than ready."

I've never felt this bad before. Never. Not even when I found out my mom was sick.

I have the most painful headache in the world, every bone in my body hurts, my throat is tight and scratchy (not sure if that's from the crying or not), and then I've got emotional pain on top of those symptoms. I'm just surprised that I haven't been pushed off the edge yet. Maybe it's because I'm too tired and weak to walk all the way to the kitchen for a sharp object.

All I know is, I desperately need to lie down.

I dragged myself out of my chair, torwards the living room in which the nearest stairs are connected to.

"Nice job back there, Sonny." I heard a voice address me. I forced my eyes to open a little bit wider to see who the person was, but I had a feeling I already knew.

Rage boiled in me when I saw his smiling face. He grinned warmly at me as if nothing had ever happened. He continued. "Really, it's nice to see you haven't lost any of your acting skills." he winked.

I looked around the living room, and gazed anxiously at the stair steps leading to my room. "Why are you talking to me?" I asked spitefully.

"Because no one's around, silly." he flicked my nose with his pointer finger, as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. I should have known.

He deserved to be slapped and much more, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to. So I spoke instead. "You know, Hayden," I spat his name, "When I was famous and you weren't, I still hung out with you. I even pretended to date you. You were a server, just like me. And I didn't even have a second thought about it." I ranted, putting in my best effort to glare at him.

He just shrugged. "Yeah, but that was different. You doing that made me more famous, and if I was merely seen with you now, it would make me less famous. See how that works?"

Finally, I developed the energy to slap him.

"I hate you." I yelled, feeling as if I was letting a big chunk of my anger out. He just stared at me in shock, and I started to walk upstairs before he could respond.

"Hayden, leave." an angry female voice snapped. I only made it to the first step when I turned around t see Tawni almost running torwards me. "Hey, Tawni, what's up?" I asked uneasily. The way she walked let me know that she was furious. At me? Possibly. But what did I do? Unexpectedly, she stopped walking, signaling for me to meet her the rest of the way.

Ugh, more moving? Really?

"Just one thing," she breathed when I was only a few feet away from her, right in front of the swinging door leading to where the party was held. Without warning, she extended her arm, dropping her empty glass on the ground with a clash, and slapped my left cheek. Hard. The ring she was wearing dug into my skin a little bit, increasing the pain. The rapid movement of my head from the smack increased my headache.

I held my cheek soothingly, staring with my mouth wide open at her. "What the crap was that for?" I screeched.

"Chad." she seethed, and started to strut back into the party before I could ask what she means.

"Oh," she called back, "and you better clean that up." she said with a laugh, referring to the broken glass on the hard, tiled floor.

You know what? I'm done. I'm done trying to make things right. Trying to regain my normal life. I don't fit in here, with the liars and fakes. I'm just not something they appreciate.

I'll keep working here, but I'm emotionally detaching myself from it all.

I'm through with letting myself fall.

I'm done.

Btw, I so didn't mean for the last few lines to seem like a poem haha. Just turned out that way (: