A/N: hmmm. none really. I don't know why I bother anymore. Song is by Hawthorne Heights

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or Hawthorne Heights. I wish I did. Lead singer is sexy. Cannot form coherent sentences. Hottttttttt.

TT

Saying Sorry

It had been a week. A long, terrible, almost unbearable week without him. The Tower was quiet; no video games were played, no movies were seen, no tofu was cooked. Not a thing that could possibly remind them of him went on. Raven locked herself in her room and when it came to battle only Cyborg, Starfire, and Robin went and fought twice as hard to make up for the loss of two teammates. They never failed, yet it only made the battle harder.

The funeral was tomorrow. Raven had prepared a eulogy, all in her head. She had been thinking of it all the hours she spent in her bed, and finally thought of the perfect thing to say. She knew she would make him proud. He taught her to just live, so she would just have to spread the word of his teachings.

It was nighttime by now. Maybe ten or eleven. Raven was lying on her bed, her eyes wide, staring up at the ceiling. She was currently listening to a conversation going on outside her door. It was Robin and Starfire, and they were having a small argument.

"Robin! Do not disturb Raven! I know she has not been in battle lately, but she has a perfectly acceptable reason! She loved him!" Starfire whispered in a harsh tone, not wishing to disturb Raven though they already had.

Robin paused for a second. "Be that as it may, she can't just mope around this Tower like that! It's unhealthy! She has to get out, she has to make sure she doesn't fall into a depression. I can't lose another member of my team, Star!" he countered.

"She is a human being and has the right to 'mope' or do as she wishes! Do not disturb her!" Starfire told him with a tone like ice. Raven could imagine him wincing, for she had never used a tone as harsh as that before.

"I know she has the right to mope, but it's been a whole week. She hasn't come out for a whole week! God knows if she slept or ate, or even went to the bathroom during that time! She needs to stay healthy, and eat and sleep like a normal person!" he retorted. "Come on, Star! Even you have to admit this is getting kinda crazy."

"Robin, it is the one she loved!" Starfire cried hysterically, and Raven could imagine Robin coming closer to her to envelope her in a hug. "No!" she cried, and Raven assumed she had pushed him away. "Think, Robin," she requested. "What if it had been me? What would you have done?"

There was silence for a few seconds, except for the hysterical sobs of Starfire. "Don't even make me think about that," he whispered, his voice shaking. There was a small squeal and Raven knew at that moment Starfire had collapsed into his arms. "Don't even make me think of that possibility. I love you, Star. I have no idea what I would do with myself if that ever happened."

"I love you, too, Richard."

So, his real name is Richard.

Raven listened to the soft sounds of their joint crying, until it eventually faded away, along with Robin's soft footsteps. She must've fallen asleep, or something of the like. Raven sighed. True love was something very beautiful, another thing she would never admit out loud. She rolled over on her bed and listened to her stomach grumble unmercifully. She was terribly hungry but didn't feel like getting up to go eat. Instead she stayed in her bed and buried her face deep into her pillow, stifling tears that refused to stop.

Garfield, her young Raven, was now a part of her. He would come in and out through her window, but he would always return. She would take care of him, and he would return the favor with his company. He was out now, and he had been for a few hours, except for once when he dipped in for some water and a little bird seed, about an hour ago. The young bird would usually stay by her side as she cried, but now she had no one.

Except for the hand that was now comfortingly stroking her hair as she wept into her pillow. It felt so good she didn't bother to look up until she heard his voice whisper, "Rae? Rae?". Now, thoroughly confused, she looked up into emerald eyes she had been missing terribly.

And, sitting there, was Garfield Logan, AKA Beast Boy. "Beast Boy!" Raven gasped, flinging herself forward into his arms to embrace him tight. "Oh, Beast Boy! I knew it was all a cruel joke! I knew you weren't dead I just knew it! Oh Azar!" Raven pulled back, tears of happiness in her eyes. "It was all just a joke, wasn't it?"

He hesitated, biting his lip. "I'm sorry, Rae. It wasn't. I'm...gone."

Raven laughed. "That's not possible. C'mon Beast Boy, stop playing. You're right here in front of me."

"I know, Rae, but it's true. I'm dead. I'm just a...ghost," he looked down to his lap where he was fiddling with his fingers. "I'm so sorry, I don't want to leave you. I just...I heard everything you said, and I wanted you to know that I love you, I really do. And I don't love you like I love Starfire, and Robin, and Cyborg. I really love you." He sighed, reaching forward to place his lips on hers. "I truly do."

Raven fell into him and rested her head on his chest, crying again. "No, it's not fair! It's all my fault! If I didn't remind you to wear those stupid rings you would've been able to transform and you would've been ok!"

"No, don't blame yourself," he stated in a dangerously serious tone."Don't ever blame yourself. It's my fault. I wasn't in full control and I just careened off the side of the road. If I was actually thinking for once in my life-" he stopped himself short. "You know, in those last moments of my life, I was thinking of you."

Raven didn't say anything.

"I was thinking about how you'd react, how I would be leaving you. If you would care, or if you would just go on as if nothing happened. I was thinking about my new life..." he paused and stiffened. "...in the afterlife." He was silent for a few moments. "I'm so sorry." I have to do this. He reached down and kissed the crown of her head. "Just always remember that I love you."

"I-I-" she stuttered, and took a deep breath, finally ready to admit it to herself and to him. "I love you too."

Beast Boy smiled through tears beginning to pool in his emerald green eyes. "Rae...Rae-Face..." he chuckled softly at the use of the nickname she abhorred. "...I have to go. I can only be here for a little while. I barely got permission to be here for a few minutes."

"No," she begged. "Please, stay here with me. Just for a little while. Don't leave, not yet." Raven pulled away and laid her body down on the bed, looking up at him with her pleading violet eyes. He smiled softly. He could never say no to her. So, in turn, he crawled next to her, his back to the window, as he faced her, watching her thin lips curve into a smile. "Thank you."

"No. Thank you," he replied, leaning his head forward to touch her lips softly with his. They were liplocked for a few more minutes, neither willing to move much, until they broke apart, breathing slightly ragged. Raven intertwined their hands and her eyes flutter closed as he chanced moving his body a little closer to hers, until he could feel her body heat radiating from her form. He kissed her forehead gently and smiled to himself, wondering how he ever deserved someone as great as her.

Especially with all the bad things he had done.

It was only a few minutes until she fell asleep, and again he began to silently weep. "I'm so sorry," he whispered to her, playing with her fingers as their hands were still intertwined. "I'm so sorry for everything I've done, all I've caused. I'm so sorry for leaving you. I'm so sorry for lying. Seeing you cry, makes me feel like saying sorry."

And soon, he had cried himself to sleep as well.

TT

"Raven? Raven?" a soft voice cooed. Raven smiled in her half-asleep.

"Oh, Beast Boy, you're still here," Raven sighed happily, snuggling closer to her pillow and trying to edge closer to his body heat without bothering to open her eyes. "I just couldn't bear it if you left me in the middle of the night."

"Raven, I think you're dreaming," a voice whispered. "You overslept, it's time for the funeral."

Raven's eyes snapped open and she looked up into the mask of Robin. "No," she told him. That's not possible. "Beast Boy was here with me last night; he told me he was a ghost but he was here and he slept with me. He told me he loved me! Imagine it! He loved ME!" she exclaimed. "It was absolutely amazing."

"Raven, I think you were dreaming," Robin told her, watching her from behind his mask, though she could tell he thought she was off her rocker. "Now, come on, you have to get ready for the funeral and make sure you're ready for your eulogy."

Raven groaned. "Ok," she whispered back to him, her voice cracking. Maybe it had all been a dream. That moment, Garfield flew in through the window and landed himself upon the perch Raven had set out for him, and began nibbling at his bird seed. "Thanks."

Robin nodded and immediately started out of her room to finish getting ready himself. Raven slid her long legs out of the bed first, and immediately began shaking from the cold. It had been warm when she fell asleep the night prior in shorts. Raven wandered to her vanity (which didn't get much use, mind you) to find a small note with a single glittering red rose upon it. In a neatly lined yet messily written scrawl, the note read:

Saying goodbye, this time, the same old story. Seeing you cry makes me feel like saying sorry.

With all my heart.

And she knew it was from him. With a small, hopeful smile, Raven tucked the rose into an empty vase and set the note in front of it.

Raven had showered the previous evening, so her hair was tied back into a ponytail and had dried in waves. She pulled out the ponytail, to let it fully dry (because it hadn't yet), and then walked towards her closet to pull her dress off of it's hanger and slip it over her body. It was a black tube dress that puffed slightly around the knees, and had a sewn-on jacket that cut off at her elbows. It was the only black dress she had that was appropriate for such an occasion, and she did NOT feel like going out to purchase a new one.

Raven straightened her hair with a straight iron, to look presentable and then situated a small, stiff, black hat with a fishnet overhang on the top of her head. She piled on black eyeliner and black eyeshadow, and a dark lipstick that she had only used once before; Halloween.

She looked herself over in the mirror for a few seconds, before there was a timid knock at her door. "Raven, are you ready?" came the innocent voice of her only female teammate, Starfire. Raven sighed; fiddling with her look was not helping the situation any. No matter how she looked at it, this was Beast Boy's funeral she was getting ready for. The small Raven by the name of Garfield flew over and perched himself on her shoulder, her little accessory for the day. Raven knew he wouldn't leave her.

"What do you say, Garfield? You ready?" Raven asked, blowing air out of the corner of her lip to try and rid her vision of a stray lock of violet. The bird tweeted in response and Raven half-smiled. It was so tiny, though, you could barely notice it. "That's good enough for me. Let's go."

TT

It was crowded, that was to say the least. Fans, fellow super-heros, friends, even the Doom Patrol were all there to see their good friend off into the afterlife. Immediately when they arrived, Raven walked up to the front to the open casket. Raven braced herself and looked to the small Raven on her shoulder, before taking a deep breath and turning her head to face him.

He looked peaceful. That was the first thing Raven noticed. His face was a pale green, and his eyes were obviously closed. His emerald green hair that fell almost to his shoulders was slicked back and gelled a little. He was in a black suit, but with an emerald green shirt and an emerald green silk tie. Raven hesitated at first but then reached out and softly touched his cheek. His skin was cold and clammy. It was sad that she expected he be warm, like he always was, and just jump up and say that they had all been punk'd or something. But they hadn't. This was real, and Raven would have to deal.

"I love you," she whispered, pulling his favorite stuffed animal, a small puppy she had gotten for him a few years back, from her pocket and placing it inside the casket. She knew that he slept with it every night, and only recently did she realize it might've been because it was a gift from her. "Don't forget that."

And she knew he wouldn't.

Raven quickly leaned down and pecked his lips, though she would get no response from him, and the tears began to flow again. As soon as she found love, it needed to be ripped so cruelly away from her. What was the world coming to? She hadn't done anything wrong! She hadn't disrupted her own karma!

Raven continued to cry as Starfire came over, took her by the shoulders, and guided her towards her seat as the ceremony began. "It will all be ok soon," Starfire whispered in her ear. "I promise." They closed the casket, since the wake had already been a day before (but Raven hadn't had enough energy to go), and the Priest began the service.

Raven barely listened. She leaned her head into Starfire's shoulder the whole time, as Cyborg patted her back comfortingly, and Robin on the other side would reach around Starfire's shoulder to squeeze hers while holding Starfire's hand. "And now I am aware that we have a few eulogies to be performed by the deceased's friends."

"Rave, you go on first," Robin told her. "I'm sure that will lift all our spirits."

Raven sniffed and stood from her spot in the front row, starting slowly towards where the priest stood, taking his spot as he stood stolidly next to her. "Do you have a sheet you will be reading off of?" the priest asked curiously. Raven, unable to find her voice, shook her head. The priest nodded in understanding. "You may begin."

Raven sighed into the microphone that was set up so she could be heard in the very back of the large church. "Hello," she started blandly with a deep breath. "Most of you know me as Raven, of the Teen Titans. I am the dark Titan, the unsocial Titan. I am the one with a very small amount of friends. But one f the good friends I did have was Garfield." Raven held out her finger to the little bird on her shoulder and let him hop on, before setting him on the edge of the stand. "I was so close to him, in fact, I named my baby bird and new friend Garfield, in his honor."

Raven took a pause and heard shuffling within the crowd. "When I was younger, say sixteen, I never thought much of Garfield. He was the small, annoying, green Titan with the weird sense of humor. I tended to avoid him in fear of becoming the next victim to his lame jokes." There was silence. "Oh come on, people, all of you have done it. Don't look like you don't know what I'm talking about."

This brought a small arousal of agreement. "But, in the past few months, I've been noticing Garfield in a different manner. His humor matured, as well as him. I've noticed that he has a caring side, a compassionate side, a fierce side, a loveable side. He's determined to fight for what he thinks is right. He has so many good qualities I could go on for days." Raven chuckled sadly. "And only too late did I realize that I loved him."

There was a slight arousal again, as the crowd began to murmur. "Now it's out. I loved him. I can admit it to myself, and my only regret is not admitting it to him while he was...alive." Raven looked away to gather herself. "But, that was only a brief background to enforce what I'm about to say next. The most important thing I have learned from Garfield, in my four years of knowing the green ex-Doom Patrol member, is one lesson he taught me but two weeks ago.

"Just live," Raven whispered into the microphone and she swore no one heard her. "That's right. Just live. I can remember the night vividly. He was keeping me up with all the different emotions he was emitting, and I eventually just followed him up to the living room. We talked for a good long while, until he told me he was going for a drive." Raven choked back a sob as her young Raven tweeted, encouraging her to go on. "He walked over to me, kissed me right smack on the lips-and, imagine, I didn't protest-and then told me to just live. I now understand what he meant. If I had just lived, I would've admitted my feelings long before this. My life would be so much different if I had learned that lesson from him before then. Maybe he would be alive.

"But I'm not here to talk about his death. I'm here to talk about him. The great person he is. How amazingly poetic and intelligent he can be sometimes. I'm here to say that Garfield Reese Logan is one of the most wonderful people I will ever meet. I'm here to say, this one goes out to the man that taught me 'Don't Forget to Live'. Thank you." Garfield hopped onto her shoulder and Raven quickly took her seat as the Church roared with approval.

"That was great," Robin told her. "Good job, Raven."

"It was most amazing," Starfire agreed, wiping tears from her eyes. "I knew you loved him."

And Raven smiled while her young companion chirped softly.

TT