I smile at the visions that whirled on the surface of the lake. I giggle now, as I remember that first day. It's funny how such serious events become laughable with time. I have found myself buried within my thoughts more and more recently. Having any little thing remind me of an important moment we've shared. Things sure have changed since that climatic day. I used to hate being with you and now. Now, I'll happily follow you wherever the rode may lead us. Now, I'm completely content with following any of your commands, to fight to my fullest, to just do anything that will make you happy.
I remain sitting here on this rotting log enjoying my thoughts and the glistering of the tiny pebbles on the lake floor. I am so lost within my own mind that I don't even notice you come up behind me, until I feel your gloved hand gently rub my head as you often do. I look up at you and you smile at me, that same smile you gave me long ago.
"What are you laughing at?" You ask giggling yourself giving me another round of rubs to the head. Though enjoying your touch, I move your arm aside as it disguises your face and simply nod in reply. Accepting my response you laugh once more before telling me to prepare for our leave.
I watch your back as you walk away and begin packing your belongings, the others doing the same. Never needing to worry about such things as I certainly 'travel light', I turn back to the lake to notice that it did not hold the same beauty as it had before. The water that I had found soft and soothing moments ago, I now find distressing and sad. As I stare into my reflected eyes, I slowly bring a hand to my face, barely touching and curse my physical form.
I know what I feel for you, its something I never thought was possibly, but I do. And I'm not deluded enough to think that you feel the same. I know you worry about me, I know you care for me, and I know that you maybe even love me, but...but not like that. Not the way I want you to. And I'm close to certainty that you can never feel the same as I do. Not when I look like this. Never. Never, as long as I look like this. Only. Only if there were a way. A way to make me look more like you. A way to make me be able to stand equal to you. A way that whenever you smile at me, I can smile back and say something I know you understand.