Author's Note: Haha, I'm back by popular demand (not)!! It took me a really long time to write this chapter. It was so frustrating and it's not nearly as long as I wanted it to be. I hope all of you enjoy it and please review. I love you guys' reviews. They make me so happy.

Chapter 2

Lelouch was walking about campus minding his own business when a dark haired girl with long braids ran up to him.

"Lelouch!"

"Hey, Nina. What's up?"

"Suzaku's looking for you everywhere. He wants you to meet him in the lobby of the Moon Dormitory while everyone's in class. Oh, and he said something about Cool Whip. I think he wants you to bring some."

Lelouch was incredibly confused. What could Suzaku possibly want from him in the middle of the school day/night? Then it hit him.

Two boys, one of which was a sexually repressed vampire. Alone. In an empty dorm. With whipped cream. For at least four hours.

Oh.

"Thanks, Nina." Lelouch walked away so fast he missed Nina's evil smirk/grin.

Lelouch arrived at the Moon Dorm with a giant tub of Cool Whip. He was a little excited, a little nervous, and more than a little horny.

I can't believe Suzaku wants me he thought. But what if he just wants me for sex? I mean, I'm all for a physical relationship but I don't want us to just be fuck buddies or anything. Hm, should I go get some music from my room? What exactly does one have sex to? Metro Station? Fall Out Boy (not that he owned and F.O.B.)? And where are we gonna do it? On the couch? On the table? In my coffin? I wonder if it'll hurt. Suzaku with his energetic ass will probably be on top. Oh my God, what if he lasts longer than me? Significantly, longer than me? That would be mortifying. I'll be forever known as Lelouch cum-quickly Lamperouge, the boy who ejaculates the second his cock gets squeezed. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

As these thoughts plagued Lelouch's mind, Suzaku walked up the steps of the Moon Dormitory. He was incredibly excited. Just him and his best friend. Alone. It had been forever since they had been alone together. It was such a brilliant idea. He was glad Nina had suggested it. He was almost jealous that he hadn't thought of it himself.

Lelouch looked up to see Suzaku walk in, carrying a bottle of hot fudge syrup and a jar of caramel sauce. Well, even if it hurt a little, at least he would taste good.

"Hi, Lelouch! Are you ready?" Suzaku was shocked when he smiled and nodded. Lelouch wasn't normally into these sorts of things.

"Where should we start?" Lelouch asked shyly. He noticed that Suzaku wasn't quite looking at him. It was like he was looking over his shoulder. He must be nervous.

"We should probably get a bowl first."

At first Lelouch was puzzled but then understanding quickly filled his features. Suzaku probably wanted to spit rather than swallow.

"I'll go get one." Lelouch turned around to get a bowl from the dorm's kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks. For a vampire, he could be incredibly unobservant.

Before him sat a great table filled with a variety of ice cream flavors and toppings. Everything from cherries to nuts to Oreos was laid before his very eyes.

A fucking ice cream bar.

With just enough ice cream for two people. Or rather one strong, sexy, athletic human and one skinny, horny, secretive vampire.

A fucking ice cream bar, no doubt set up by the stupid, sweet, oblivious Suzaku himself.

Under most circumstances, Lelouch would have found the gesture to be thoughtful and unintentionally romantic. However, seeing as how Lelouch had mentally and physically prepared himself for sex, he was less than pleased.

Suzaku was not ripping off Lelouch's clothes as he had imagined. Suzaku was not pinning him to the ground and screaming his name and fucking his brains out. Instead, he was smiling at his accidentally intimate ice cream buffet.

And Lelouch lashed out.

"An ice cream bar, Suzaku? You set up a fucking ice cream bar?! What's next? Are you gonna dress me up in a pastel outfit and make me watch musicals?!" Lelouch screamed.

"No, I just—I guess I just wanted to be with you. I just wanted to hang out with you and not be surrounded by fangirls or a vampire clan. I thought you'd want to hang out, too. I know you hate cheesy stuff like this, but I didn't think you hated me."

The second Lelouch saw the sadness in Suzaku's eyes, he instantly felt horrible. Just because he'd misunderstood the purpose of the Cool Whip, didn't mean he had to attack Suzaku. It was a nice, thoughtful gesture and though Suzaku probably meant it as an innocent, friendly rendezvous, Lelouch couldn't help but find it incredibly romantic. There was something intimate about the room and Suzaku had gone through the trouble of buying all Lulu's favorite toppings.

Lelouch sighed, "I'm sorry, Suzaku, but this is a pretty damn cheesy idea."

"I know but look on the bright side— I found your favorite food." Suzaku held out a bowl of dried blueberries.

Lelouch couldn't help but grab a handful. "Where did you get these, anyway?"

Suzaku shifted uncomfortably. "Um, a friend." It was so hard to lie to Lelouch.

Lelouch narrowed his eyes and chewed thoughtfully. Suzaku didn't have many friends that Lelouch hated. Except for maybe Milly or Zero. Yeah, neither of them would hesitate to poison his fruit with flecks of silver. Besides, Suzaku would tell him if he got the berries from Milly or Zero. So they must be from someone he really hated.

"Who'd you get the fruit from, Suzaku?" Lelouch asked dangerously.

Oh crap. Lelouch was using that if-you-tell-me-the-truth-now-your-punishment-won't-be-as-severe tone of voice. Of course, the punishment would be the same no matter what and Suzaku knew better. It was better to lie or avoid answering the question at all.

Suzaku picked up a tub of vanilla ice cream and smiled innocently.

"Ice cream?"

Nina was crouched down in a bush outside the Moon Dorm. It was time to activate Phase 2 of the plan. She flipped open her cell phone to make a call.

"Hey, Milly? Are you up for some ice cream?"

Milly Ashford was sitting in the Student Council Room, incredibly peeved. Half of the Student Council was missing and the other half was utterly useless. Zero and Kallen were passing notes to each other when they thought she wasn't looking; Shirley was playing games on her cell phone under the table; and Rivalz was sleeping. The only sounds were snores, the tapping of a keypad, and the rustle of paper. It was driving her insane.

"Guuuuutttsss!!!" she screamed rather suddenly, scaring the crap out of everyone. Rivalz jumped about ten feet in the air, banging his legs against the table in the process. Poor Shirley was shoved to the ground by the force of the shout. Somehow, Zero ended up sprawled across the table and Kallen was twitching profusely. Oops. Maybe she overdid it this time.

Thankfully, Milly's cell phone rang, saving her from having to apologize.

"Hey, Nina…Ice cream?" Milly smiled evilly. "Sure we'll be there in five minutes."

Lelouch was about five seconds from tackling Suzaku to the ground and not in a good way. Lelouch had the feeling he knew who this mysterious friend of Suzaku was. Suzaku wasn't talking and since scaring him wasn't working, it was time to switch tactics.

"I can't believe you're lying to me, Suzaku. We've been friends for so long. Don't you trust me?"

Suzaku may be naïve but he wasn't stupid. He knew exactly what Lulu was trying to do; it so wasn't working.

"Of course I trust you, Lulu. It just seems stupid to bother you with trivial details like where I got the fruit."

"Just tell me where you got the damn berries from!"

Suzaku had three options here: (1) tell him the truth (yeah, that so wasn't happening); (2) continue to play wide-eyed and innocent (that was a steadily growing possibility); or (3) hope for a rather unexpected yet effective diversion.

Apparently the ice cream gods were on the side of Kururugi Suzaku because at that exact moment, Milly came bursting through the doors with Nina, Shirley, Zero, Kallen, and Rivalz in tow.

"Oops!" Milly widened her eyes in faux-innocence. "Did we walk in on a private conversation?"

Lelouch scowled. Milly almost irritated her more than Kaname (emphasis on the word 'almost'). "Yes. Now would you be so kind as to leave?"

Um, let's see…no! Maybe now you won't miss Student Council meetings."

Lelouch sighed and flopped into a chair next to Shirley. "What are Kallen and Zero whispering about over there?" he asked quietly.

Shirley smiled and rolled her eyes, "Who knows? Probably plotting their world domination," she said jokingly.

How right she was.

A/N: Hee hee, the second chapter is finished! When I was originally writing this chapter, it was going to be much longer. Like, at least 2,000 words. Now, please please please review! If you do I will give you a cupcake and you get to recommend a line or a quote for me to use in the next chapter (I'll fit it in somewhere, the funnier the better). If you do not review allz you get is corn-grenade muffinz. In a matter of minutes, the muffinz will explode in a burst of delicious goodness! Mwahahaha!!!

Lelouch: Oh god, not the evil laughter again.

Suzaku: She does this in like every fanfic…

Me: Shut up, you two! Go make out in a corner somewhere…

Lelouch: Okayz! *drags Suzaku away*

Me: *nosebleed*