Don't own Naruto, ect, ect, do own Sora, ect, ect, ect…. Eh, I hate these things…
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Naruto came and dragged me to Sasuke's for a pig-out-and-eat-too-much session, you can't exactly call it a girls night out because their boys, and there were no movies or nail polish, but the food was enough.
Sasuke and I sat in a too-much-hurt-to-move stupor and it was all we could manage to put a chocolate occasionally in our mouth. Naruto tried conversation, but failed everytime.
Naturally, Sasuke's hurt was worse then mine, I knew, I'd experienced something dangerously close to it. Maybe worse, it depends. Mine was knowing I wasn't loved anymore, I was abandoned.
His was knowing he was loved, and he lost that love forever, it wasn't ever going to be there to comfort him again.
I don't know which it worse, and I'd rather not know, for fear it would be mine.
When I got home, there was a note from Gaara on the table.
"He left it there at lunchtime." Sakura told me, as she worked on her latest Cooking masterpiece.
Sora,
Don't stay mad, please?
From,
Gaara.
"How sweet." I said sarcastically.
Sakura rolled her eyes. "You aren't seriously mad at him, are you?"
"Yes, I am!" I snap. "I trusted him to be there!"
"Give the guy a break." Shika said, as he came down the stairs.
"Whatsit to you anyway?" I snap again.
"He tries Sora." Shika said, patting my head, he was really improving with Sakura, I figure it must be her since I haven't been doing anything.
"As if! If he tried he would have been there!"
"He does, I dunno why he wasn't, but he does." Sakura said, stirring a delicious-smelling fry-pan full of some kind of sauce.
"It's pretty obvious."
"What is?" I ask, annoyed at their lack-of-support on my 'NO TALKING TO GAARA-ness'
"He loves you." They said in unison, then laughed.
I scowl. "Yeah, sure."
They stopped laughing. "No, seriously, it's really obvious."
"We've been betting over when he'll tell you." Sakura added. "I have Ten Bucks on next month."
My mouth dropped. "Wha-" I started.
"Mine's on August, so try to put it off till then." Shika said.
"Actually, the bet'd be off now, since she knows…" Sakura mused.
"Oh well, we'll find something else."
"I am still in the room!" I said angrily, getting up. "But I guess not for long, thanks for the encouragement guys!"
"No problem." Shika said, waving me off, as I stamped outside to sit by the lake.
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Sunday 18/6/15
So bored. I miss Gaara, though I'm still too angry to talk to him. I miss being able to break into Kankuro's room and then pour water on him. I miss laughing at the funny gourd in his room, I miss playing Mario party and falling asleep next to him. I miss the one friend I had that didn't have a secret I had to keep.
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Monday – 19/6/15 – in English, should be reading, but I'm not.
Next debate, it's with the sand, scheduled for this Friday. Gaara isn't at school. It's so strange that without him, everything I'd become in the last term has slipped away, and I found myself being run over by scary tall year seven-ers again.
I miss him. Maybe I should talk to him…
No way! He didn't come.
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Wednesday – 21/6/15
Got out of Sport again to do practise Debating.
Sasuke is still silent, it's a different silence to what he usually gives to the conversation, it's one that effects his eyes.
Mr and Mrs Uchiha had been nice, they made polite light-dinner-talk ALMOST bearable, which is more then anyone else could do.
Dead, all dead. What are the chances, that the one time his family are in a car the brakes died, what are the chances…
"You live alone?"
"I did everything alone, until just recently."
"Recently? Really?"
"Not really, really…"
"I don't see the problem in being alone, I'm sure I'd like it without my parents."
"As if. Nobody is that strong."
"You're saying you are?"
"I didn't get out unscathed."
"I'm sure I could."
"I doubt it."
"Well, isn't there only one way to prove it?"
"What? Murdering your family? Pfft, yeah, great." I say sarcastically.
"Sure I could do that too."
I roll my eyes. Up yourself much! "Yep, just keep on thinking that. Nobody would kill just to test themselves."
That conversation with Itachi is still fresh in my mind… infact, I have it written down! One moment…
I flicked back through the pages of this diary, it was on 5/5/15, a Friday, and it was midnight. I go cold, did I induce that topic? I go back, and start to shake… yes, I did… did I put that idea in his head? did I make him set up the murder of his family, just to see if he could live with it, was he going to come to me and say 'look, Sora, I told you I'd be fine.' Smugly?
No, I'm insane. Itachi didn't do it anyway. There's no proof. I didn't. But by then, the doubt was in my mind, is it possible that I'm the one to blame… that the things I did then were actually leading up to Sasuke's parents death?
I shake my head again, and reprimand myself for trying to blame it on me. Stupid Sora, as if, don't give yourself that much involvement in the situation.
Anyway, I got side-tracked there didn't I? well, in debating anyway, Naruto came, he has stuck to Sasuke like glue, he is being Sasuke's pillow, and I'm glad, there's one head that doesn't need to rest on my shoulder.
It was pretty boring, nothing much happened, we're all just glad Sasuke is back for the Sand debate after my Disastrous speech, sakura had efficiently told everyone about how I felt crushed over Gaara not coming (I had told her in private) and she has blamed it on him and I feel guilty because I see her crew giving him dirty looks.
Of course, he's Gaara, he isn't effected. It hurts me more then anyone.
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Thursday 22/6/15 – this month is going so quickly…
We're all nervous for tomorrow, Sasuke seems to be getting better, with, I'm sure, a lot of TLC from Naruto, I haven't been bothering them.
I'm in Gaara Withdrawal. I miss him. A lot.
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Friday 23/6/15 – nervous!
Ohgodohgodohgod, don't have enough time to walk to school so I have to catch the bus! Oh no! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 8 WEEKS I'M CATCHING THE BUS!
Erg, I'm not looking foreword to seeing Pam again…
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On the Bus…
Pam isn't here! We have a new cool Bus Driver called George! Woo-hoo! AWESOME! NO MORE PAM!
I leaned over the seat. "Oi, what happened to the old bus-driver?" I ask.
George inclined his head sadly. "'Got Cancer."
I go cold… no way!
'Ahh! I hate her, I hope she gets cancer and DIES!'
Oh shit… I wrote that! I quickly think to god or whoever is up there 'please be nice to Pam, tell her I'm sorry.'
Then think twice, knowing Pam, she might know have made it to heaven. I look down. 'Don't be too harsh on 'er, please?' I think.
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Our teacher didn't show in Math, so here I am…
Woohoo? Free Period?
Damnit! It just isn't the same without Gaara to laugh at because he is a smart math-cookie and had to do work…
I read through this diary, you know, I've changed so much. I was so silly. It's become a bit of a novel this thing. I didn't think I'd write so much in it.
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Few minutes later…
WAAHHH!!! I MISS GAARA! I'M BORED! I'M NERVOUS! WWAAHHH!!!
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Another chapter! Woo-hoo! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING AND READING! It means SO MUCH! It really does, I am FOREVER in your debt, FOREVER! (and ever, and ever, and EVER!)
Lot's o love, to-love-is-to-lie