For all those who reviewed me asking what the hell 'Yami Choco' was it's simply me rewritting 'Dark Chocolate' in japanese. Those who know what I'm on aboput know which magazine I'm refering to, and no, I DON'T read it, I'm merely using it for comedic purposes.
That said, the Harem pairings are still open for debate, but I'm afraid that Haku won't be among them, for story reasons, she's been paired with someone else.
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Chapter three
Naruto, dressed in a modified trench coat, the sleeves removed, over a standard black t-shirt, shinobi leggings and black sandals. He yawned as he entered the class, his lower face covered with a red face mask, similar to those sported by Kakashi.
The back of his trench coat bore the kanji for 'Youko' on his back, drawing quite a few startled looks as he'd walked through the halls, light glinting off the arm bracers he wore, decorated with foxes.
The class was full of chattering students; one boy was showing off his puppy to a rather shy looking girl with white eyes, another was sharing a bag of chips with a rather sleepy looking kid with a ponytail. Several girls were drooling in the general direction of a raven-haired boy with a brooding face; in fact, a fight had broken out between a blonde girl and a pink haired one over the last seat next to the boy.
'If it wasn't for her scent, I'd have sworn she was a boy.' Naruto muttered, lip curling at the sight of the pink haired girl's oversized forehead.
Deciding to settle the argument in his own personal way, he plopped himself down on the seat next to the boy while the gorl's were occupied with ripping each other's hair out.
Looking at his desk mate the blonde snorted.
"A bit noisy in here, isn't it?"
When the boy looked at him he held out his hand.
"Uzumaki Naruto, and you?"
The boy looked at the hand, took it and replied, "Uchiha Sasuke." emphasizing the 'Uchiha' part.
Naruto nodded, then tilted his head towards the scuffling girls, "Your fans I take it?" as the Uchiha shuddered he nodded.
"Thought so, you'd think they'd have better things to do, like, oh I don't know…study?"
He winced as the pink one landed a right hook on the blonde, "Ouch…are we sure that one's a girl? Could be a cross-dresser…"
Sasuke's eyes widened as he looked at the victorious Sakura, who blew him a kiss.
The Uchiha shivered and quickly looked away.
Sakura however, quickly noticed the person occupying the seat she'd just fought Ino for, the last seat near Sasuke, HER seat, and didn't like it.
"Excuse me, that's my seat you're sitting in." she said, tapping the boy on the shoulder.
Naruto looked around, a bored expression on his face.
"Do you mind?" he said, frowning, "Sasuke and I are talking about something, if you have something to say, it can wait until afterwards."
Sakura swelled up in anger, whilst Inner Sakura yelled expletives at the masked blonde.
"Who the hell are you? Get away from my Sasuke-kun!" she screamed eyes blazing.
Naruto raised an eyebrow, eyes retaining their bored expression. If the girl had the skill and talent to read into his expressions however, she'd know she was about to be puplicly humiliated.
"A real lady would have introduced herself before demanding someone's name." Naruto said calmly, causing the girl to sputter in shocked rage. He turned his head slightly to look between the girl and an smirking Sasuke.
"And what do you mean by 'your' Sasuke-kun? Does he have your name on his ass or something?"
Sakura let out a choked squeak as she flushed scarlet, as the guys in class, minus Sasuke, who looked appalled and one near the window, wearing sunglasses, burst out laughing like there was no tomorrow.
"From your answer I'd say he belongs to you as much as I do, and trust me, I'm no one's plaything."
He turned around to face the front, "So I suggest you keep your lewd fantasies to yourself."
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Sakura, embarrassed and angry, turned on her heel and huffed over to the group of girls in the back, all of which were shooting death glares at the blonde.
It was the first time in history that someone had resisted the 'Sasuke-fanclub's' patented 'Shriek tactic', normally they got out of the way and did whatever the hell they were told, this one would need to be watched carefully.
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Looking over at Sasuke, apparently unaware of the glares boring into his back, Naruto nodded.
"If you call on their bluffs, you can usually drive them off, besides, those types usually think looks can make up for a lack of brains."
He looked over his shoulder at a simmering Sakura, "If that skull of hers isn't because of her brain, then she really is an airhead."
Sasuke snorted, and, for the first time, cracked a small smile, causing many of the girls to swoon, and others to try and listen in on the conversation.
At that moment, the door opened and admitted Umino Iruka.
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"Alright people, settle down." He said, setting his papers down.
When the noise refused to settle he initiated something that would later be referred to as 'secret teacher technique: giant evil head jutsu.'
"QUIET!"
The resulting silence was filled with the chirping of crickets and the occasional cough.
"My name is Umino Iruka, I'm your instructor here at the academy, if you have any problems, feel free to ask me anything, though I can't guarantee I can help with EVERYTHING."
When the children didn't answer he nodded, turning to the blackboard.
"Our first lesson will be the history of the village and the other shinobi nations."
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Throughout the lesson, Iruka kept stealing glances at the 'Kyuubi brat', wondering why he was being so quiet. True, he was glad the kid wasn't trying to disrupt the class, but he at least expected him to cause a little trouble.
'I mean, sure he can't be as bad as all the rumours say, but if we make it through the first class wiothout so much as a light warning I'll start to think I've got the wrong kid.'
However, by looking over his shoulder at the blonde, the Chunin noticed that rather than paying attention to the lecture, the boy seemed to be reading from a book, giggling softly so as not to draw attention to himself.
Glad that the boy WAS apparently human enough to make mistakes, Iruka cleared his throat.
"Would you care to read that out loud Naruto?" Iruka asked, a small smirk crossing his features, as the students shook themselves from their daze to look at the teen in interest.
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Naruto stood up, his mask hiding the fox like grin that covered his face and read:
"Kagemaru couldn't believe his fortune as the denizens of the daimyo's private quarters paraded before his eyes, a veritable wall of silky thighs, slender waists and curvaceous-"
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"Stop!" Iruka choked, face redder than a steamed tomato in the desert, desperate to save what was left of his pupils' 'fragile little minds'.
A number of the boys had burst out laughing again; the Inuzuka boy actually rolling on the ground, holding his sides, even Sasuke was smirking.
Looking at Naruto, Iruka could practically feel the leer the boy was giving him, it was like a giant tooth smile was hovering at the back of his eyes, and for some reason, he felt himself heating up.
Naruto chuckled as he marked his page, before looking back up at the mortified Chunin and asking quite cheerfully, "Shall I read on Sensei? The next few paragraphs are a little…graphic."
Iruka swore he could see a distinct, fox-like glint in the boy's eyes, as the Inuzuka boy started a catcall to continue, which was quickly taken up by the other males, with the exception of Aburame Shino, who was as stoic as ever, and Nara Shikamaru, who was fast asleep.
"NO!" the teacher yelped, before gathering his wits, coughing into his fist to rgain his composure.
"No err…that's fine Naruto…you can sit down now."
Naruto did so, though Iruka could still feel the leer against the back of his head.
'The boy may not be a demon...but he's definitely not one to cross.' the Chunin muttered, he winced slightly.
'And why the hell do I feel like taking a cold shower?!'
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Sasuke leaned over to the blonde and asked, "Where'd you get that book?" though it looked like his lips hadn't moved.
Naruto grinned though his mask hid it.
"Picked it up off the street, maybe I'll lend it to you?"
Sasuke flushed but hid it with the ease of long practice.
"Maybe later." He said, grinning back at the blonde.
"Preferably somewhere that won't cause the teacher to faint."
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Unbeknownst to Naruto, the girls in the class had formed a temporary truce and banded together under a new slogan:
'Get the Hentai-freak away from Sasuke-kun!'
All but a shy, white-eyed girl, whose face was an even brighter shade of red than Iruka's, not being used to such...language.
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Much to the anger of the girls, Sakura in particular, the blonde perv and Sasuke quickly seemed to become friends, almost overnight. Wherever one was, the other couldn't be too far away, making it impossible for them to get any 'alone-time' with their precious Sasuke-kun.
Even worse though, was that Sasuke-kun seemed to be enjoying his company! One reliable source revealed that they were snickering together after someone set off coloured smoke bombs in the teachers lounge, causing many to exit a rather amusing shade of yellow.
What truly horrified them though, was that the formerly reclusive teen seemed to only respond to his blonde compatriot when they weren't disturbed, the moment one of the bishounen's fans approached, he automatically went into 'brood-mode', which while still undeniably sexy, was fast loosing it's draw appeal as 'Happy-sasuke' and 'Laughing-Sasuke' made more appearances.
To add insult to injury, the blonde seemed to be craftier than the foxes he bore on his clothes, as every attempt to corner him resulted in dead ends and, quite recently, embarrassing traps.
An example of which would be the tiger trap filled with skunks, or the exploding garbage bags, not to mention the embarrassing paint episode. Yamanaka Ino couldn't show her face for a week due to the myriad of colours that had splattered onto her precious golden locks.
And throughout out all, the brat continued to read that perverted book of his, giggling like a child on a sugar rush, apparently unaware of the growing animosity that his female classmates harboured for him.
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Naruto was quite enjoying his new hobby, so far he'd seen more pantyshot's than any boy his own age could even dream of, and the challenge of devising counter traps for the girls had far outpaced his previouse habit of simply walking out of them unscathed.
He let off a giggle as he sat on a flagpole, reading his book, while a distraught classmate tried to keep her skirt from falling over her head, as she swung in the cnfines of her own trap.
'Hmmm' the blonde thought as he walked down the pole, eyeing the struggling Ino analytically.
"Black lace? How risque."
He continued down the pole heading for the classroom, leaving the embarresed kunoichi to try and die from embarrasment.
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Iruka, still slightly yellow from the prank performed a week ago, had just finished grading the tests for the last exam. According to this, the Kyuubi brat wasn't the simpleton everyone took him for, scoring almost as high as the Uchiha prodigy.
Now, Iruka was many things, but fickle he was not, and he knew that there'd be problems if word of this got out, so he quickly made a copy of the boy's paper and stashed it away for future reference, namely the Hokage.
At that moment, Mizuki entered the classroom, his once silver hair now a sickly yellow, seeing as he'd been the true target for the prank. The chunin had vowed to track the culprit down and gut him like a fish, his hair being more precious to him than anything, and his inability to find a single clue was causing the man to become testy.
"Are those results finished yet, Iruka-san?" he asked, moving over to the scarred chunin. Iruka nodded and handed the sheets over, smiling lightly.
"The students did fairly well considering this was a pop-quiz." He said, a small smile on his face.
Mizuki gave him one that didn't quite match his eyes, and then turned on his heel.
Iruka sighed as he watched his colleague go, before heading over to the Hokage's office to deliver the copy of the exam.
'It's not that I don't trust Mizuki.' the man muttered, 'It's just considering how emotional he is right now...'
Not even Iruka could convince himself to believe his won crap, he just wasn't the lieing type.
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Naruto yawned in boredom, he hadn't done anything remotely exciting in a week, the smoke bomb prank had been less than thrilling, since it seemed even shinobi couldn't get started without their daily coffee intake.
Slowly but surely, Naruto was taking on more and more of the Youko-frame of thought. Stealing and pranks were one thing, but above all else, youko were extremely fond of fresh challenges, such as riddles, or complex traps, preferably those with a prize at the end. However, there were nothing but Chunin to pick on at the academy, since his fellow genin were off limits, unless you counted the girls' ridiculous attempts at sabotage, but then, he made certain that he was never out of reach of an escape route.
Add to that the fact that the majority of the village's Jounin were currently off on missions and you weren't left with many high-ranking targets.
'Man...there's got to be someone around here that would be worth taking a crack at...' he muttred, looking up at the monument as he walked past, before stopping in the middle of the street.
It had hit him like a tonne of bricks, there was one person from which he'd never even dreamed of stealing from, someone that provided not only the greatest challenge to any who crossed his path, but no doubt had extremely valuable treasures stored away in his private quarters:
The Hokage.
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It was late at night, and the Sandaime was currently going over the mountain of paper work that seemed to grow every time he took his eyes off it. Sometimes he wondered if Jiraiya had placed an elaborate genjutsu over his desk as part of his many attempts to prove he was better than Orochimaru. No matter what though, the council still saw fit to lump everything on him, from bills to wage slips, everything needed the old man's personal john hancock before it could become legal.
'Doesn't this amount to elder abuse?' he whimpered mentally, seeing another set of bills materialize to his right, which he could have sworn was blissfully bare a moment ago.
A shadow flitted across the room, causing the candle to flicker.
Sarutoibi closed his eyes, tthanking whichever deity responsible for this distraction, which may, regrettably, destroy the paperwork.
He stood up, slowly, trying to draw out the moment as long as possible, and tipped his Hokage hat.
"While I must congratulate you for not only infiltrating the tower without alerting the guards, plus the fact that you actually entered this chamber without me sensing you," he paused for effect as he eyed the room, "You're still far to inexperienced to be attempting an attack on my person."
"This isn't a challenge, Sandaime-sama…" a voice called out, as what appeared to be a fox masked ANBU stepped out of the shadows.
"Not one on your life at least, rather, I wanted your undivided attention regarding a jutsu I just developed."
Sarutobi raised an eyebrow, the voice had a familiar ring to it, he just couldn't place it.
"Is that you, Orochimaru?" he asked, before the shinobi made a seal.
"Oiroke no jutsu!"
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The one condolence to the Sandaime, as he lay in a pile of his own blood, was that the projectile nosebleed had caused him to send most of the damn paperwork into the gutter.
As he lay there, trying to come to his senses, his desk was slowly, almost mockingly, being covered in more files and legal documents, as if to spite the poor man.
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Naruto chuckled to himself as he pulled the scroll of seals through the window of his apartment; he had hit the mother lode with that one! If what he guessed was right, then this scroll possessed just the thing to make life in Konoha a living nightmare for certain people.
'Heck, I may even release Tou-san just for the fun of it!' he thought darkly, envisioning the mighty Youko stamping on some of his past tormentors, whilst he rode bareback on his head. He winced suddenly, as he realized it would take a phenomenal amount of chakra to break the shinnigami's seal.
That, and he'd probably die in the process.
Do not even think of it kit, I would never permit it in the first place. Kyuubi warned in a tone which brooked no argument.
Naruto sighed and looked over the scroll.
'At the very least, I can learn a few new tricks from this oversized toilet roll.'
He smirked, remembering the fake scroll he'd left in the Hokage's office, wondering when the old man would discover it.
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Sasuke was walking down the street of the Uchiha district, having just finished training to impress his brother and parents. He hoped his mother had prepared a good meal for dinner as he ran up to the house.
'Wait till I tell Tou-san about the test today!' he said, as he opened the door to the house.
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Later that evening, Konoha would be rocked by a tremendous scandal, a scandal that would shake its very foundations.
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Naruto's head snapped up suddenly.
He'd been looking over the scroll, busy comiting one of the multitude of jutsus that the Hokage's had listed since the founding of Konoha to memory, when some inexplicable feeling int he back of his head had put him on high alert.
"Sasuke?"
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Now I'm sure you can all guess what's happening to our favourite Uchiha, next xchapter shows how Naruto helps him cope.
No...not like THAT! Get your minds out of the gutter!
Anyway, here are a list of characters that I am willing to include in the Harem, please run your votes as per the norm.
Ino:
Temari:
Tenten:
Any other characters are to be delivered via review, please note that the older Kunoichi won't be eligible until much later, and Kurenai is DEFINTELY out, for manga reasons.
R&R