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Saturday

Stayed in bed. Didn't move. Either did Naruto.

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Sunday

I showered today, also made Naruto shower, I knew I didn't have the same luxury I had for missing Gaara, when he left, it was just me, so I could not move for days, but this time it's Naruto too, I have to take care of him… it's my job.

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30/7/15 - The new neighbours moved in.

They came up to say hello, I couldn't manage to be nice, they had a 15 year old daughter who was turning 16 next month, but I couldn't manage to be friends, I couldn't do anything… I just had to say happy moving in, and let them leave.

Naruto understood.

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13/8/15 – it's been a while… I've stopped writing.

A weeks gone by, and it's just us, me and Naruto. Sakura has moved into Shika's house, it's just me again. Naruto spends most of his time here though.

It was today I snapped. Naruto had been getting worse and worse, and it was like watching me go downhill, I now saw what everyone else had been seeing in me, and I felt the same to a lesser extent, but I knew I had a job to help Naruto through this.

"Naruto, eat something." I push the food towards him.

"He's gone. It doesn't matter." He said, ignoring it, it stung to hear how much he sounded like me, and how much I sounded like him.

"Please, Naruto." I whisper, worry folding itself into my voice.

He sighs, and eats a bit, I give up after that, he sits in silence. "Naruto, this isn't like you. Your stubborn and hard-headed and you never give up."

"But he's gone…."

"Well, ever think we could get him back?"

Naruto looked up, hope in his blue eyes. "Get him back?"

"What if one of us got an invite to the Sound Selective High School & University for Gifted and High-Achieving Students?" I ask. "It's a long shot, but if you and I spent every single day from now until year twelve graduation studying and training, we can get him back."

"You might. I can't." he sighs. "I wasn't even really an intelligent one."

"You can be, infact, we start today. I'm going to make you get a good score on your School Certificate, which is next term, Naruto."

"Sora-"

"No, I don't care Naruto, you know if we let him go completely we'll lose him forever. We can't do that. We have to work for this."

He sighs, and sits up. "You know what?"

I smile at him. "What?"

"I'm with you! Let's do this! Two years is enough, I reckon we can apply and get into this!" he smiles. "Let's start with the School Certificate."

We spent the rest of the day in hard study, as we did for the rest of the holidays, and now it's back to school. And every day it will be the same, going over work, doing homework, getting 90 and over on all tests. We need it.

For Sasuke.

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13/12/15 – even though you're a diary, I thought you might want to know how it all ended, I mean, I sort of owe it too you.

Graduation today. Year ten graduation, lots of us are not coming back next year, and most importantly we get our scores and classes for next year. Most of next year depends on what Naruto gets on this.

I've gotten used to the thought of Gaara not coming back, it's like he was never there, really. Even though there is that empty space where he was, and always will be, for me anyway.

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After School

The graduation went well, we sat down, and of course 80 of us immediately flicked to our scores, I had done well. I knew I would, really, not being full of myself or anything, but I had studied like mad with Naruto and it had paid off for me, but I didn't know about Naruto, and he was the important one.

After we threw our hat's up, I ran to him, and he hugged me, I knew it was good news. "TOP CLASS FOR EVERYTHING BUT GEOGRAPHY! Which I'm in second!" he yelled, I hugged him back.

"WE DID IT!" I scream excitedly.

"Sasuke, here we come!" he punches the air, picking me up bridal-style, he swung me around and then we laughed. And we laughed truly for the first time in months and months, and we laugh, then he drops me, and I glare up at him.

"What was that for, bastard!?" I ask irritably, he gapes, and then points, I turn and my heart stops. "Gaara." I breathe. When I look back, Naruto had left, I got up, and his green cold eyes lock on mine, we don't say a word.

Behind my disbelief I knew he saw the days, weeks, and months of pain he'd set me through. I knew he saw all of it.

He stepped foreword. "I thought I'd come to your graduation, well… for… you, really. I wanted to see how you did. You did well, topped English, out did both Shika and Sakura since I've been gone…" he smiled, and stepped foreword again, he'd grown. He was a lot taller now.

I swallowed, I looked up, I hadn't grown. I was still short… So many questions burned on my lips. Why did he leave? Where did he go? How was he been? Was he happy? And most of all, did he miss me as much as I missed him?

The words caught in my throat, and I just stared, then I opened my mouth to try again, and he broke in. "Can we walk?" I nod dumbly and follow.

I didn't bother with 'why did you leave', i started small. "You didn't say goodbye." I whisper, I see him wince.

"I'm sorry." He said in a tense voice.

"You did give me my bobby pins back, though." I say in a tiny voice, some part of me wished he had never come back, I was getting used to thinking he'd never return. I had liked it that way, at least when there was no hope you could move on.

I found myself naturally walking to our seat, my loners seat which had been absent from loners for so long. I sat, he sat, I started at the ground.

"I suppose you want to know why I left."

I shrug. "I don't know if I do…" I say slowly, now I think about it, the answers might hurt too much. 'I didn't like you' 'you annoyed me' 'I hate you'.

He looks at me concerned. "I'm sure you will later." He said knowingly. I knew he was right, and it just hurt to know that he still knew me. I hadn't changed much. "I knew it was stupid, I knew it then, but as soon as you knew it was true- that day in debating… I-I… well, I just thought you'd go and tell everyone." He said slowly.

I look up. Just that. That was all. All the trouble was caused because he was stupidly paranoid, he saw the look of irritation on my face.

I'd imagined this day, if it ever happened. There were three options, I had decided, one was too break down, cry, and tell him how much I'd missed him and beg him to stay, another was to walk up and slap him, and the third…

The third was, well… terrifying. It was exhilarating even to think about, so I had avoided planning this option at all costs. And secretly, as soon as the idea had speculated, it was the one I wanted to do most.

I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to tell him I loved him, and that I could never live without him. I wanted to tell him everything. But of course, that option is totally restricted.

"Is that all?" I say, snapping back to reality. "You… caused all… this, because you were afraid your best friend would tell everyone!?" I say, the slapping option was looking mighty friendly right now.

He looked taken aback. "Well… day after day, I waited for the rumours to start, and I waited for you to stop looking for me in the morning. I waited for you to start hating me."

"But I never did." I whisper.

I sigh. "Yes, I wish he'd get over it and talk to me… I don't understand it at all, I should be the angry one."

Sasuke grinned wryly. "But your not, maybe that's the problem?"

I look at him, confused. "What?"

"Well, maybe he'd just like you to yell at him, to be scared of him, maybe he finds somebody who isn't afraid or disgusted by him, well, scary? Maybe he's annoyed at himself for being afraid… maybe he wishes he wasn't?"

He looked at the ground too. "I know… I- well, it was the one thing I didn't expect…"

"You were scared…" I say, Sasuke was right. This could have been fixed a long time ago.

"I guess so, but… just I felt I had to come back."

"To explain… just to explain." I look up, a pained look in my eyes. "You're leaving again." It was more of a statement then a question.

He smiled sadly. "Sorry."

There was silence, and I stared at the ground pathetically, it would happen all over again. I would spend a week in bed not eating or doing anything. I would die inside again. "Why did you come back?" I whisper, not really meaning to say it out loud, but it came out my mouth anyway.

"I-I just told you, didn't I?" he said, looking taken aback. I sigh, he looks down. "Okay… I came back… well… I wanted to see you again." He said sadly, my heart lurched and I looked up.

"You wanted to see me again?" I whisper, and then I didn't care, I threw myself into his arms and breathed in the same familiar smell. "I missed you." I tell him, burying my face in his jacket.

"I missed you too." He said back, his voice intense, he was hugging me tighter and I resisted the urge to cry.

"You smell the same." I joke, hoping my feeble attempt at humour would stop the tears, and it didn't. And I cried and cried and he just held me tight. I didn't know why he had come back, just for me… but I was glad. Even if I knew he was leaving….

After a while I wrenched myself from his grip, reluctantly, it wasn't the same as I had been. I knew it wouldn't be. "The lake froze over, you missed it though. I never got to teach you to Ice-Skate." I say.

"I'm sorry…"

"I know." I sigh, and look into his green eyes longingly. It hurt, a lot. It hurt more to see him, but it was the best possible pain there was.

"I'm sorry." He said again. "I've obviously made things worse… I'll go." He slipped away from me, and my heart froze and I leaped after him.

"NO!" I yell sharply. "Don't go." I add in a lower voice. "Please?"

He stopped, turned and my heart beat as he came closer, closer then he had been before in this way, and he covered my mouth with his.

My mind raced, my heart beat and my head spun, I wrapped my arms around his neck and stood on my toes to make myself taller. He pressed his body to mine and his arms were around my waist.

And then he learnt away, and the world came crashing down, I immediately pulled him back and kissed him again, my mind was so scattered and I shook so I figured it really didn't matter anymore. He ran his finger's through my hair before smiling and pulling away, I looked at him longingly and he bent down to press his lips to mine again. "Goodbye." He whispered.

"Stay!" I said desperately, catching the sleeve that rested on his elbow, he turned and smiled sadly.

"Sorry, I can't." he looked at me with a look in his eyes, as if he wished I had of said that months ago, but circumstances had changed now.

"Stay! Stay with me! Live here!" I said again desperately, but the look he gave me was so much like a grown up looking at a five-year old and stepped back.

"Goodbye, Sora." He pauses. "And tell Naruto, I said 'thanks'."

"I'll see you around." I whisper. He laughed, and I savoured the last of that sound I loved so much. Like with Sasuke, I couldn't stand to see him leave, so I turned my back to him and stared at a wall I'd looked at so long ago.

So many moments here…

Iruka goes off, and Gaara growls under his breath, I glare at him. "I can take care of myself. I've been doing so for the last 5 years." I snap.

Gaara looks at me. "Doesn't mean I can't have a go."

"I don't need it." I glare at him. He shrugs, and leaves.

I do need it… don't go…

Gaara shook his head, and turned to me with that searching look. "You're not invisible; they just don't know what to look for." He said simply.

Only to you… my mind races, around all the time's we'd have, the times it had tried to hard to forget before. To let go and pretend it never happened. But I didn't bother now, while I knew he was right behind me, so close I could touch him a few steps, I knew if I did so, I wouldn't be able to let him go ever again.

Gaara and I sat and ate cake for an hour before we felt to fat to move. "Oh god… I hate Naruto… why did he pick the double chocolate mud cake?" I groan.

"No, the question is: why did we EAT the double chocolate mud cake…" Gaara says in return.

We both groan, then laugh, then groan again. "We shouldn't laugh…" I get out.

"Then shut up before you do something stupid…" he says back.

All the memories run through my brain, striking with icy fists where it hurts most, I sat took a deep breath and took the risk of turning around, and saw nothing. Nothing. That hurt the most, to just see nothing. I close my eyes and sit down, wiping my eyes with the blue graduation robe.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and the familiar voice of Naruto sounded in my ears. "I'm sorry, but I knew I'd trade anything for one more shot at seeing Sasuke, and you did that for me. So I thought it'd return the favour."

I smiled at him. "You've just given me my birthday and Christmas presents for the next four years combined." I said, trying to joke again but just failing and sounding sad.

We make our way back to my house in silence, both of us thinking of what we had lost, and how in the world we could have ever let it go.

I knew he was the only other person in this world who would feel the same as me, and I knew that as soon as I had fulfilled my promise to him and Sasuke was back and safe, I would find Gaara, and once I did, I would never leave his side ever again.

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Hello Loves! Well, this is the end! ALMOST! There is still an Epilogue, so don't take me off you alert list just yet!

Well, it's been 46 chapters, 28155 hits, and 600 reviews. I count that was VERY successful. And I thank EVERYONE for reading! I really do. I love you all!

THANK YOU SO MUCH! I really hope you've enjoyed it, and I really hope maybe you take a lesson from this story, I don't know what it is, but I'm sure there's on in there! Hehe. It's the least I can do to make you smile when you read this, or feel something. The Epilogue is happier, so don't worry, be happy!

Please review this! I really want to know what you've though of this story as a whole, t'would mean a lot! THANKS FOR READING!

Lot's of love, for (almost) the last time, To-love-is-to-lie

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