Chapter 4
CPOV
I tried to forget about Derek by listening to music, he was really starting to worry me now, I was wondering if he knew what happened to me, if not, what could bother him so much, the tuff, strong, unemotional werewolf is starting to break.
I can't escape this hell
So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside
Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself!
This song was starting to remind me of Derek, the thing is, I love this song.
So what if you can see?
The darkest side of me
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe
It's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this ANIMAL!
In a way, I kind of did help Derek with the animal in him, helped him with his changes. But he also seemed to act better around me. Kind of weird.
Okay, this wasn't why I turned on my music
Newer song by Three Days Grace that should work
Never thought I'd feel this
I'm guilty and I'm broken down inside
Living with myself
Nothing but lies
I always thought I'd make it
I never thought I'd let it get so bad
Living with myself is all I have
Hmm, can't relate this to anything so far.
I feel numb
I can't come to life
I feel like I'm frozen in time
I can relate a bit there, when my Mom died, I felt frozen in time, and I didn't feel right.
Living in a world so cold!
Wastin' away
Living in a shell with no soul
Since you've gone away
Living in a world so cold
Counted the days
Since you've gone away
Wow, this is why I like Three Days Grace, sometimes I can relate so well it's scary. Ha, not that I'm depressed or anything.
Do you ever feel me?
Do you ever look deep down inside?
Starin at yourself
Paralyzed
Can't really relate to that though
I feel numb
I can't come to life
I feel like I'm frozen in time
Livin in a WORLD SO COLD
Wastin away
Livin in a shell with no soul
Since you've gone away
Counting the days
Since you've gone away
You've gone away from ME!
I'm too young too loose my soul
I'm too young too feel this old
For so long
I feel like I'm left behind
(Do you ever feel me?)
(Do you ever look deep down inside?)
(Starin at your life)
(Paralyzed)
LIVING IN A WORLD SO COLD
WASTIN AWAY
LIVIN IN A SHELL WITH NO SOUL
SINCE YOU'VE GONE AWAY
LIVIN IN A WORLD SO COLD
COUNTING THE DAYS
SINCE YOU'VE GONE AWAY
YOU'VE GONE AWAY
FROM ME!
I'm too young
I'm too young
I wonder if anyone else in the house could relate to this; just with the fact that my mom is gone is why I can relate to this so well.
Hmmm, well it's over now, so next song please, but I do like this one.
If you feel
So empty
So used up
So let down
Okay that's enough with Three Days Grace for now. Ha too depressing, even if this song doesn't sound depressing.
How bout' Leona Lewis... Nah
How bout' Down by Jay Sean ft Lil Wayne. Can't pass this up
Baby are you down down down down down
down down
Even if the sky is falling down
down down
Ooh (ohh)
You oughta know
Tonight is the night too let it go
Put on a show
I wanna see how you loose control
So leave it behind cause we got a night to get away
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape
So baby don't worry
You'll be my only
You won't be lonely
Even if the sky is falling down
You'll be my only
No need to worry
Baby are you down down down down down
Down down
Even if the sky is fallin down
Love this song, so romantic, but has a fun beat to it, its dance music
Just let it be
Come on and bring you're body next to me
I'll take you away
Hey
Turn this place into our private getaway
Okay I'm going to skip to lil Wayne's part; it's the coolest part of the song.
Even if the sky is falling down
Like she supposed to be
She gets down low for me
Down like her temperature
Cause to me she zero degrees
She cold, over freeze
I got that girl form overseas
Now she's my miss America
Now can I be her soldier please
I'm fighting for this girl
I'm a battlefield of love
Doesn't it look like baby cupid sent his arrows from above?
Don't you ever leave the side of me
Indefinitely, not probably
And honestly, I'm down like the economy
YEEAAHH!
Ha, love it. Next song, maybe, how long have I been listing to music? I didn't know so I just set the song on Breaking Benjamin I will not bow. Now this song is almost perfect with what were going through at the moment.
When I went down stairs everyone was sitting on the couch staring at the T.V well almost everyone. Derek was missing. I thought about going to look for him, but than I saw Will beckoning me down to the basement. I knew that I should go track down Derek, see what was bothering him so much lately. But I followed Will downstairs.
"Good morning Chloe, you've been gone for a while." He greeted me as I reached the stairs.
"Do you mean last night?" I whispered
"Yeah, you never came back last night, what were you doing?" He asked as we made our way down the stairs, closing the door behind us so we could talk a bit more normally, I still had no idea where Derek was, I couldn't smell him anywhere. (Derek smells like a wolf, like the woods, and he always had a smell that showed he was upset, at least as long as I could actually smell it.)
"Just looking around, there's actually a barrier out there, I couldn't get out no mater how hard I tried." I said.
"Oh. please don't tell me you were throwing yourself at that wall." He said, stopping to look at me at the foot of the stairs.
"No, which reminds me, have you seen Derek at all, I saw him this morning but he wasn't with everyone else, and I don't smell him anywhere." I said.
"How does throwing yourself at a wall remind you of- oh never mind, I never know with that guy." He said, it stung a little bit that he was talking like that, like he didn't care about him, I don't know why though.
"But that is the reason I brought you down here. I want you to go look for him, I'll come with, but you'll probably be better at tracking him down." He said.
"Wait, what, where is he?" I said, a bit frantic.
"He went outside a while ago, he hasn't come back either, so I want to go make sure he's okay."
Okay good, Will did care about what happened to Derek.
"Okay, let's go now, the faster the better, I don't want anything to happen to him." I said starting to go back upstairs.
"Hang on, I'm sure he's fine wherever he is for the moment, and its cold outside, like winter cold out there Chloe, here." He handed me an old black jacket, but it fit me, unlike my other one which I had basically given to Derek now. He slipped on a blood red jacket with a designer name on it, but it was really old and dirty so I couldn't make out the logo.
"Okay, now lets go", I said running up the stairs.
He got to the top before me with his vampire speed and opened the door, I ran straight outside and into the cold. I could of sworn it was snowing it was so cold, but it was just rain. Oh please let Derek have a jacket right now. I lifted my head to the air, smelling when Will closed the door. Not caring who saw, I just wanted to find Derek, now. It was hard to pick out his sent since he smelt like the woods, but I could faintly smell him. I looked back at Will than started to run down the path that Derek's smell was on. Will kept up effortlessly, and being a werewolf meant I had a high stamina, so I could keep this up forever, especially since I was looking for someone. I had to run, the rain was washing Derek's trail away, and if I didn't go fast enough there wouldn't be anything to follow anymore. But I still had to stop to bend down and sniff the ground, and now that we were deeper in the woods I was fine with doing that. Will was helping as much as possible, but being a vampire, he wasn't as good as tracking down someone as a werewolf is.
I could have sworn we searched every corner of those woods, we ran all the way to the barrier, than all the way around it, than went back through the entire woods, down by the now extremely fast running river, the clearing where Derek had half-changed last, the entire place.
Nothing.
He was nowhere.
Shit.
We had to go back after that, no matter how much I didn't want to, we had to, it was pouring now, and I was starting to get a cold. Like Derek had said, that is not very often for a werewolf.
Obviously I had to tell the others that we had no idea what happened to Derek, no one did; no one had even seen him come down. So I went up stairs to see if he had just been in his room, but when I got there the door was wide open. My heart started to speed up, I walked in, all of his drawers were open, and they were empty, except for a note that read:
Chloe:
I figured you would be the first to look for me, I had to leave, I'm sorry, Please don't worry I'll be careful, I promise, as long as you be careful too. Simon can protect you just as well as I can, probably better, he wont get you chased down by werewolves, and wont snap at you for accidentally raising the dead in your sleep. He won't get you hurt, he wouldn't allow it, He doesn't know about this, no one does, so don't pound on him about it. I can't stand leaving you with that vampire, Will, but I trust you to be careful enough to not let him hurt you, and I know my brother will be able to do the same. Please understand that I am doing this for you, to make sure you don't get hurt by my idiotic behavior. I'm doing this to make sure Liam and Ramon don't show up at the door trying to take you, I know that's random, but I've just been having weird dreams about that lately. I'm doing this to protect you in the best way I can.
Please don't look for me.
Derek
P.S- I've been meaning to tell you this... but couldn't work up the nerve to say it in person... And I'm sorry I can't. You probably won't see me again so... I need to say...
I love you
I just stared at the piece of paper, all the words blurring together except for the last 3 words. 'I love you'. the room started to spin and the paper fell out of my hands. I had enough time to pick it up, shaking, and fall back onto his- or used to be his -bed, before I fainted.
My dream was of Derek, I was sitting in the living room when he walked in, and his face was pale when he looked down at me. Like he knew I knew he likes me. I stood up and walked over to him, I grabbed his hand and squeezed, but didn't let go like Simon did. He was tense for a minute, but then he relaxed, smiling down at me. I hugged him, he was so warm. He hugged me back, holding me like I would disappear if he let go. I meant to say 'I love you too' but I couldn't open my mouth. I heard a door slam, and I pulled my face out of Derek's chest, he was growling his grip around me tightened, but it didn't hurt, standing in the doorway was Will, he was calling my name frantic, and started to come toward me. Derek's grip tightened even more, and I didn't want to leave, I wanted to stay here with him. Will reached for me and as soon as he touched me I was pulled out of my dream.
"Chloe! Chloe are you okay?" Will was saying like I had just been shot at. I looked up at his blue eyes, not the eyes I wanted to see. My chest started to hurt and tears welled up when I remembered that Derek had left.
"Chloe what's wrong?" He asked.
"D-d-d-Derek le-le-left." I stuttered, sobs starting to break into my voice.
"What, what do you means he 'left'?" Will questioned.
I didn't respond I just pulled the letter still in my hands closer to me, hugging it to my chest. I wanted him to come back...
_A Week Later _
CPOV-
... I thought pain dies down after a while... Apparently not... At least it did when my mom had died... and that was worse than just someone leaving, right?
It didn't feel like that. It felt worse somehow. I guess knowing that this person had left on his own decision, and was out there, and could die, alone. I couldn't even think his name anymore it hurt so much. I wanted him back; I wanted to know if he was okay... I wanted to hear his voice again, even if it was his aggravated, go away tone, all I wanted was to hear him. How sappy was this. I didn't even know I liked him so much till he said he loved me. Loved me, which was big right? I hoped so, and even if it didn't I wanted to go find him, and I still, every night, went out there and tried to pick up his sent and track him down. Even though I knew it was point less. Even as a wolf I couldn't pick that up when he smelled like the woods and the rain had washed the sent clean from the ground, saying it rained for at least an hour every night. Will and Simon tried to cheer me up by either playing video games or working on Simon's comic, but it was pretty much impossible for me to concentrate.
Living in a shell with no soul
Since you've gone away
I could really relate to this song now.
Livin in a world so cold
Wastin away
I felt wasted.
Counted the days
Since you've gone away
You've gone away from me
Yeah, he left, and I have counted every single day, I could feel every second tick by slowly and painfully with out him here.
DPOV-
This was the right thing to do right? I knew it was, but it didn't feel like it. Like I had said, I needed to hear Chloe's voice at least once to go on through the day. How was I going to go on now? But I needed to keep moving, find somewhere before it starts raining again... Wet and cold, that's what I was at the moment, wet and cold... and heart-broken. But that sounded cheesy, and Chloe was probably perfectly happy without me there.
(Random point of view, just for the heck of it.)
TPOV
Why was everyone so depressed about wolf boy leaving, I say we should be throwing a party; the dude was just bringing everyone down any way. I may be pretty good friends with Chloe now, but she was just such a downer; I couldn't talk to her without her head dropping to into her hands. PEOPLE, BIG DEAL! God, I hate being the only one in a good mood.
WPOV
Hmmm, I needed some sort of distraction for Chloe, maybe a small party or something. I'm sure there was something I could do to get her mind off things
SPOV
These games Andrew have rock, but they would be fun with Derek around, I wonder when he'll come back from his little 'trip'.
APOV
Okay, we need to go find Derek or something, because the kids just don't seem as cheerful as normal. Well mostly Chloe and Chloe being upset it getting Will upset, so yeah. Really needed some plan kind of search and rescue plan for Derek two now. Why did he leave in the first place?
(3rd person view, because there is just so much going on at the moment, Sorry if it sucks like this, I usually write in first person.)
That night Chloe had skipped her normal routine of going outside to search for a nonexistent trail from Derek. While Will was setting up a small party for Liz's perfectly timed birthday, he thought that would make Chloe happy, she would at least try to have fun for Liz, like she always does he thought. Everyone else was asleep, except Andrew, he was sitting awake at his computer, trying to contact a friend from the Pack in Syracuse, to help find Derek. If only he knew that Chloe was a werewolf, than he wouldn't have to go through all this trouble.