"How can you hide something like this?" Bella asked, gesturing at everything surrounding her.

They were in a small corner of the base, just one level down from the entrance. Comfortable sofas and armchairs were facing a fancy entertainment system, and a tiny kitchen with equally modern equipment. The coffee was hot and there was half a cake sitting on the kitchen counter.

"Drift is one thing. He and Raoul have this car gig going. But so many of them? And bases? And space travel?"

"It's a matter of cooperation among countries. By now a lot of governments know. The military of those countries knows. We have close to thirty-five percent foreign military personnel on the bases. It's not just a handful of people trying to hide the truth."

"But…"

"Bella, not all you read and hear on the news is the truth. This cover-up has begun way before I got involved. They found Megatron in 1897. They discovered the Allspark later and made the right connection between the Cube and 'Ice Man'. The president knew about the Allspark and hid it by building the Hoover Dam around it. All of that was black ops and still is. We have Clean Up Teams, the CUTs, who deal with removing traces either electronically or manually. They handle the press, make up the appropriate stories, set into motion machinations you couldn't dream of."

Bella looked stunned. "And the launch of ships?"

"In the beginning we had to rely on shuttle launches, but ever since the Orbiter program was scrapped, things were a bit more problematic. Blaster was our solution. He's logged into our satellites and can manipulate data, video, audio or otherwise."

"Gawd…" She shook her head. "This is scary."

Will gave her a tiny smile. "I know. I never wanted my family involved. In any way. Your mother and I separated over my work, because it took up so much of my time, and after the accident I had to disappear. I'm so sorry about."

He had apologized several times before that and Bella could see and hear that it was truly something he was upset about.

"I'm lucky," she finally said. "That Raoul and Drift came to me; that you're still here; that you are someone here, someone important."

Will shot her a startled look. "Someone important?"

"Oh please!" Bella's dark eyes flared with indignation. "Aside from the runes and glyphs and code, you're not just someone who has to be here because you stand out. They could have locked you away, but they didn't. Everyone here treats you with respect, like you're the base commander or something. And the mechs, too."

"You noticed."

"It's hard not to."

"I'm no longer part of the military operation," her father said evasively. "Call it a consultant position."

What a lie, she thought with a frown. Her father was more than a consultant. She had watched him so closely because she was both fascinated, elated and terrified of what had happened. She didn't want to leave him out of her sight, afraid it was all just a too good dream, and she had noticed. No one looked at him twice because of his changed looks. He was a common sight, he had command power, and he easily worked with the mechs. Sure, twenty years were a long time to get someone's respect, but this was more.

Bella didn't press on any further. She had no idea how her father fit into this. Optimus Prime had exchanged looks with Lennox now and then, and there had been almost something like an unspoken connection there. Maybe it was something you had to live with for a decade or two to understand. Maybe it was something alien that she wouldn't understand within a day or two. Maybe it was something completely else.

"Annabelle."

She turned around and smiled widely. "Uncle Bob!"

Will laughed with humor as Base Commander Robert Epps grimaced.

She stepped back from the brief hug and slapped his chest. "You knew all the time!"

"Military secret," he said as if that explained everything.

"I hate you," she stated without anger. "You would never have told me, right? If this hadn't happened, I'd believe my father had been killed in some god-forsaken desert overseas till I died!"

"I was under orders. No one could know."

"It's why you always took those pictures, right?"

Epps smiled at his best friend's daughter. "Caught me."

"I'm not stupid! Someone taking cell phone pictures of me, sending them off god knows where… I always wondered. And you were really behaving oddly at my sixteenth."

Epps exchanged a long-suffering look with Lennox. "Oh yeah. The Sweet Sixteen party. That was one of the handful of times I was close to strangling your dad. He was moping."

"Was not!" the man in question protested.

"Right! You made everyone's life hell! Including Ironhide's."

Bella shot her father a quizzical look. He sighed deeply. "It was a bit of an… emotional time."

"Emotional my ass," Epps declared. "Everyone was close to shooting you."

At Bella's look, Will sighed again.

Sixteen.

Will Lennox hated the number.

Six-teen. Sixteen goddamn, fucking years.

Kicking viciously at an old can he watched it bounce over the cracked tarmac. Sixteen years since the Autobots had first interfered with his life. Sixteen years since Captain Lennox had lost part of his men to some freaky alien robot, had seen a whole base being eradicated, and then become very deeply involved in the whole crap.

Yeah. Crap.

He kicked the can again and it landed in the desert sand.

Shit.

Damn.

Sixteen years.

He had told himself he had accepted all of this. And he had. He had accepted his new life, the abilities that came with it, the constant evolution… Just like he had accepted that he was attracted to an alien life form. Ironhide. They were bonded, he felt something for the mech he had never experienced before, something that wasn't love like it had been between him and Sarah. He had accepted it all.

Until today.

Tomorrow would be his kid's sixteenth birthday. Annabelle Lennox was turning sixteen. Sweet sixteen. She would be driving now, soon off to college… and her dead father could only watch from afar.

If he was still able to get drunk he would have done just that, but his cursed hybrid status didn't allow him to even feel a little buzz.

Squinting into the glaring sun, feeling little to no discomfort at the heat that had taken a hold of the country, he briefly pondered the sense of hitting the liquor, then just shrugged. It still tasted enough of the bad stuff to help with the depression setting in, so maybe blowing some money on it would ease his mind.

Lennox turned and walked back into the above-ground hangar, wheedled the keys to the bike out of Epps, who had told him to get out of the base and take his bad mood with him. Will knew he had to make it up to his oldest friend, but not right now. Right now he needed to just go.

Taking the road away from the base he cranked open the engine and shot over the hard packed ground, not caring should he take a dive.

He ended up at The Watering Hole, which was no great surprise, and Hank served him a bottle of hard stuff. Soto was in on the secret of the mechs and Will's special status, which meant he knew his client couldn't get drunk. He still gave Lennox a narrow-eyed look that told Will he wasn't fooling anyone. Not that he had even tried.

Taking a first swig, letting the warmth settle in his stomach, he wondered why he even tried. Old habits died hard, he supposed. Not that he had been borderline alcoholic before his change, but seventeen years ago he had at least been able to wake up with a hangover and regrets. Now there was only the knowledge and nothing else.

He had lashed out at everyone, mostly at his bonded partner. Ironhide had always been there when Annabelle's birthday had come up, or the Lennox's wedding anniversary. Will knew he was pathetic to still hang on to all of it, but his wife hadn't died, his kid was also still around, only he had had to die. Sarah still kept in very loose contact with Epps and had sent pictures of the happy family, including the new man in her life, sometimes. Robert had given them to him. Will had cherished each, but he knew that holding on to this past was futile.

Today it grated on him more than ever.

Sixteen.

His girl probably had a big party with all her friends, with the proud mother and the equally proud step-dad attending. Just he didn't have the leisure to be there. He couldn't send a present, he couldn't come and visit. He was dead.

And Annabelle had most likely forgotten what her father had looked like. She had grown up knowing her birth father was dead and she had a stepfather.

Fucking great.

Will eyed the half empty bottle.

Would he go if he could? If he could be completely incognito?

He didn't know. Ironhide had asked him and had offered to talk to Ratchet about test-driving a holo-emitter. For some reason Will's glyphs didn't take well to being surrounded by a holographic field and usually managed to disturb the whole thing. Only with an Autobot near-by to uphold the field was it possible to camouflage him, though after about two hours matters grew dangerous. The emitter used up a lot of energon and Lennox created some kind of feedback. It was worse when it wasn't Ironhide upholding the image.

Lennox knew he was screwed in so many ways and he had accepted that he would never see his little girl ever again, aside from maybe finding an image on the internet. Still, it hurt. It hurt so much.

Two more bottles later Will was joined by Epps, who gave him the same narrow-eyed look Hank already had.

"You done wallowing?" the base commander asked. "Or you wanna empty Hank out of good liquor?"

"Fuck off, Rob."

"No go, bro. It's either me or Ironhide's gonna waltz in here in his hardlight form and baby-sit."

Lennox grimaced. "He's outside?"

"Keeping an optic on your skinny ass," Epps confirmed. He sniffed at the bottle and grimaced.

Hank brought over a Coke and Epps gave him a nod of thanks. The Watering Hole had filled, but no one was paying them any attention. Will sat in a corner, out of the immediate line of sight, and even if someone would look over, he was a known factor.

"You want to see her, you know you have one chance. Take it and live with it, or leave it and stop with the misery," Epps told him firmly.

Will scrubbed a hand over his face. Prolong the suffering or get on with his life.

After another bottle Lennox finally decided he had had enough. Not that he felt even the slightest buzz, but since this didn't give him anything there was no sense in drinking any more. Hank accepted the dollar bills with a grunt and another critical once-over, but Will only gave him a sloppy salute and hid most of himself through hunched shoulders and a baseball cap pulled low into his face. Epps followed.

The large black truck in the parking lot was no great surprise. Will looked over, sighed, and finally walked to his partner.

The driver side door clicked open without a comment. Lennox handed the keys to the bike back to Epps, then climbed inside.

Ironhide rolled off the parking lot and into the night. Will leaned back, feeling too riled up and emotionally unstable to say anything. Ironhide took the long way, passing late night travelers, trucks and busses, and finally stopped at an abandoned truck stop that was about a hundred miles from base. By now it was midnight and today was Annabelle's birthday.

Lennox closed his eyes and bit back his anger at something he had accepted for years now. A simple event had launched self-pity and he knew he should be above it, but heck, he was a father and he hadn't seen his girl in forever. He would never see her again, aside from stolen glances at online images or by repositioning a satellite to spy on her. He wasn't that cheap. No, he wasn't.

Slipping out of the cab he walked away from the truck, feeling and hearing Ironhide transform behind him. Will looked up into the sky, clouds passing over the thin sickle of the receding moon, the tiny dots of stars.

"I'm sorry," he finally said into the silent darkness.

"I was told that humans react irrationally sometimes," Ironhide remarked dryly. "I didn't think you could still surprise me like that."

Lennox glanced at the mech. "You think?"

It got him a rumble of a chuckle. "I didn't consider the many averse reactions you might have concerning your old life."

Lennox sighed and pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "Yeah. Me, too. It just… got to me."

"My offer still stands."

He shook his head. "No. I'd feel like a stalker. Some freak. I knew I had to let go the moment I was given my choices. When I died…" he stopped and shook his head again. "No, I have to let go. Really let go," he said softly. "Not when they are in their graves and I'm the freaky survivor of them all," he added darkly. "Now. Today."

Ironhide said nothing, just stood behind him like a dark statue.

Runes flared brightly and Will looked at them, absently noting how subdued they had been in the past few days. Now they seemed alive, crawling over his exposed skin, and he could read a good number of them. Letting energy collect between his fingers he watched them rise and come to a stand-still on the back of his hands. He smiled dimly.

That was him. All of him. Shaped in human form, but inside him there was a lot more. He was so much more. The runes told him, reminded him, confirmed it.

Ironhide gave a soft rumble, the blue optics bright and of a much lighter color in the darkness.

Will knew he wanted to remain human. He wanted to look like the man he had been before the Allspark had messed around with him. He didn't want to shed this life for good, just the part that had had to die. He had a new life, a new partner, and still a lot of his old friends.

"Getting tired of the human side by now?" he asked the darkness.

Ironhide chuckled. "Why should I?"

"You think I'm entertaining," Lennox accused.

"No, just alien to me sometimes, despite all that is Cybertronian about you."

He glared at the huge mech.

"We all cope with the changes to our existence," Ironhide told him, sounding almost philosophical. "As you are trying to understand that, we are trying to understand your family structures and your range of emotions. While I never experienced the importance of the Sweet Sixteen of your culture, I know it hits you because it is your child."

"A child who thinks I'm dead."

"It was your decision, Will."

Yes, it had been. He had made it, knowing all that came with it.

He nodded. Maybe if he had cut off all ties, if he had refused to look at what Epps had offered him… but he hadn't been able to resist. It was too much for one man, he had told himself back then. He had wanted to see Annabelle's pictures.

"I believe Major Epps has offered to go in your stead, Will," Ironhide continued. "His family is still in contact with your former mate and offspring."

He nodded.

Wind blew up from the desert beyond and ruffled his hair. He really needed to cut it again. Despite the fact that he wasn't military any more Will liked to keep the cut. He closed his eyes, let his anger flow out, let himself settle. He had done this many times before, mainly to balance his powers, to not blow one of the 'enemy' in a training battle away because of his adrenaline spikes. It had been something Mixmaster had taught him, much to Will's surprise. He hadn't figured the massive Constructicon to be such a sensitive guy. Not that he would ever tell him.

Ironhide was silent, waiting, scanning discretely, though that was a lost cause on someone who could detect even the slightest scan on his skin.

Finally he turned away from the desert, briefly looking over the derelict truck stop, then his eyes came to rest on his partner.

"Sometimes I wish I could just switch off who I was before, but then again I wouldn't be that person without my past. I think we humans have a tendency to hang on to painful memories just to torture ourselves at inopportune moments."

"I noticed," Ironhide remarked dryly.

Lennox grimaced. "Can't say I won't do it again. When she turns twenty-one, when she graduates, when she marries… kids…" He stopped, emotions welling up again, but he didn't let them overwhelm him.

Ironhide knelt down, running a gentle fingertip over the exposed runes. "It is your right as a parent. Maybe one day there will be a way to see her without revealing who you are."

"And how creepy is that?" he demanded, shaking his head. "Annabelle doesn't know me and I'm not part of her life."

There was a soft hum from deep within the mech, then Ironhide rose and transformed. Will looked at the black Topkick, feeling a small smile cross his lips. He finally got inside, the leather seat almost molding to his body. The engine was a deep purr that was going through his every cell.

Ironhide pulled out onto the deserted road and headed back to base. Will let him drive, just sitting back, letting the dark scenery lull him in.

Acceptance.

Well, not today. And maybe not tomorrow. But he would have to let go of this darkness, too. He had to follow his own path, one that was taking him further and further away from what he had been and who he had made his life with sixteen years ago.

Will leaned against the window, brushing a hand over the door panel.

"Sorry," he murmured.

"Accepted," Ironhide replied.

Lennox only smiled dimly.

Bella was silent, looking into the dark eyes of her father, seeing a pain there she hadn't realized before. She didn't know what to say and he finally simply smiled. Epps squeezed one shoulder.

"Now you got me back," Bella finally found at least some words, even though they sounded lame.

"And you two have a lot to catch up to. I'm leaving you to that. Got a base to run."

Epps left with a nod at Bella, his smile filled with so much relief she knew he was happy for this coincidence.

Lennox looked at his daughter and smiled. "So, Annabelle, tell me: what about men in your life?"

Bella only groaned.

tbc...