AN: I actually have nothing against Aiber. I just put him there because I couldn't think of anyone else…

Disclaimer: Death Note = NOT mine

Chapter 5 – Mental

After 2 days in the hospital, I was finally released when Jeanne had a hissy fit at one of the doctors. I was back in school the next day.

"Hey Faggot!" I was greeted with, "Try to off yourself? Too bad it didn't work!"

Insert jock laughter here.

I glared at the ground, deciding to ignore them. They yelled more insults and said I was weak and shit. Sure, I was pissed, but I was also tired as Hell. I didn't sleep at all last night. I didn't even try not to sleep. I just, couldn't.

"Hey Mello," someone greeted me. I looked up to see Matt standing by the doorway.

"Hey," I returned the greeting.

The Jocks wolf-whistled and I flipped them off. I turned back to Matt, who had a pink tinge on his cheeks.

"Are you blushing?" I asked when I realized this.

"N-no," he obviously lied. But I let it go.

The bell for homeroom rang and we proceeded into the Hell called school.

"What did I miss?" I asked.

"Nothing much," he replied, "But we're now learning about mental illnesses and stuff in Psychology."

"Ugh," I inwardly shuddered. Mental Illnesses were a touchy subject for me – whenever someone finds out that I cut (which barely anyone knows), they say there's something wrong with me and I should see a therapist. But I'm not fucking crazy. No way.

Matt smiled at me. "It's not that bad."

I rolled my eyes. "That's a lie."

"How do you know? You haven't been here."

I tried not to glare at him.

"I have my reasons…"

He looked at me. His expression seemed somewhere between 'What?' and 'You don't know the half of it.'

Then someone tripped me. And it actually worked this time (I usually see it coming).

"You fucker!" I yelled.

I looked up to see none other than Aiber.

"You seem off your game," he said, "Your boyfriend distracting you?"

I glared at him.

"Why would anyone actually want to date you anyway?" he continued, "Your ugly and pathetic."

I would never admit it, but that last comment was like daggers ripping through my heart.

Even though I knew I was pathetic and ugly, the constant reminders would just kill me. I want to be perfect, but I'm never going to be. I'm never going to be good enough. Why can't they just leave me alone? Why the fuck do I have to be so weak?

I bit my lip, hard.

"Fuck off," Matt said. I looked at him, surprised.

"So he speaks," Aiber commented rudely.

"Shut up," Matt said, trying on a death glare, "Just because you're jealous that Mello has people that actually care about him, it doesn't mean that you can just be an asshole to him."

Aiber glared at him, but backed off. Matt helped me up.

"You okay?" he asked.

I nodded, despite my mind screaming that I wasn't.

He eyed me, seeming to know I was lying, but he seemed to shake it off.

"Let's go to homeroom," he said.

I wish he had questioned me more. Maybe he could help me. Maybe he could be there for me…

No, I have to stop thinking like that. I am fucking strong.

I am strong. Strong, strong, strong.

"Mello," Matt turned to face me. He looked me straight in the eyes and I glanced down at the floor.

I am fucking weak.

He took my hand and dragged me to the office.

"Mrs. Yagami," he said when we entered, "Can we see Miss Misora?"

She took one look at my face and nodded.

Matt dragged me into the guidance counselor's office.

"Miss Misora!" Matt got her attention.

"Matt. Mello," she greeted, "Have a seat."

Once Matt finally got me into a chair, Miss Misora turned her attention towards me.

"Who do I need to beat up?" she asked.

Always the same question. What if it's me she needs to beat up?

"Aiber," Matt answered for me.

"What did he do this time?"

Tell me the truth.

"He called Mello ugly and pathetic."

I am.

She looked at me with an intense gaze. I stared intensely at my hands.

"You are neither pathetic nor ugly," she said.

Oh, but I am.

"You are strong," she continued, "And you're fucking gorgeous."

I smiled. Not because I believed her (who would?) but because of the way she said it. But she's still a therapist. She's just spouting all this shit to make me feel "better."

"Look at me," she demanded.

I raised my head a bit.

"Mello. You are hot."

I laughed a bit at that.

"Remember that," She raised her hands as if to shoo us, "Now go to class."

She doesn't want to deal with me.

We got up and walked out of her office. Mrs. Yagami smiled at us as we walked away.

"Are you going to be okay?" Matt asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

I nodded, lying.

"Good," Matt threw his arm around my shoulders, but dropped it as we entered homeroom. For some reason, my arm tingled where he held me.

Mr. Touta looked at us as we entered, but didn't ask why we were late. Good man.

Aiber sneered as we walked by and Matt glared at him.

He doesn't need to look out for me.

We had only been sitting for about a minute when the bell rang. Everyone popped out of their seats, unless they had Language Arts first period.

Matt said something about Aiber (who was hitting on cheerleaders) and I managed to force out a laugh. He looked at me. He knew the laugh was false. He knew I'm not Okay.

He knew I needed someone to save me.

Will he save me?