Bellatrix Black

"Black, Bellatrix!"

A tall, skinny, menacing girl with pale skin and eyes dark as...the Hat couldn't find a metaphor for the blackness that held those eyes. He almost shuddered.

She strode up to the stool and clamped the hat on her head.

Hello, madam.

Slimy thing.

…Excuse me?

Only Muggles where Hats like you.

And what, pray tell is the matter with Muggles?

What do you think? They're like animals. They don't know anything. They wander around like nit wits.

..You know, it's that kind of behavior that shaped Salaazar Slytherin into the madness that he was when he left the school.

Salaazar Slytherin was the most honorable man ever to darken the Halls of Hogwarts, you imbecile.

Excuse ME. Continue like that and your mother will not let you use your magic this summer to..why, oh why, do you want to scare your cousin? What did he ever do to you?

Sirius is a nit wit.

You use the word a lot. I don't think you know what it means.

Ookay then. So..can you just put me in Slytherin and be done with it?

No.

Why not?

I need to explore you a bit more. Let's see.. I don't know if you really have the properties for Slytherin.

I'm a pure blood.

No you aren't.

EXCUSE ME?!!! THE ENTIRE NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK IS PURE WIZARD!

No such thing. Your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great uncle, forty five times removed, married a Muggle and had a daughter named Terebithia, and she was related to you..somehow..and anyways, my point is that you are not entirely pure blood. You have some Muggle blood in there.

I AM NOT A MUDBLOOD.

I never want to hear that term. Ever.

Watcha gonna do?

Put you in Hufflepuff.

All right all right!

Or Gryffindor.

NO! SHUT UP!

You're quite loyal, you know. I see it in the way that you oh so gallantly stuck up for your, as you put it, Noble House of Black.

I am not going to Gryffindor with all the swotty little Mudb—Muggle borns and blood traitors and FILTH.

I suppose you are too vile for Gryffindor.. you are clever enough for Ravenclaw, though.

No!

Hufflepuff is not an option. Well, then, it'd better be

"SLYTHERIN!"

* * *

So there you have it. Yes, I updated!!! Hooray!!! And while you're here (shameless self promoting) go check out my other story, How Fred and George Became Beaters. It is absolutely pointless, but awesome fun to write. Do not take it seriously!

Oh, and I know I said I'd do a next gen, but Bellatrix came and whacked me with a stick and told me to write about her pronto.

Bellatrix: And I got my way!
Oh, shut up. Well, until next time, then, readers! OH YEAH, ONE MORE THING! The underlined line, if anyone caught it, is from The Princess Bride. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT? TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER AND GO WATCH THAT AWESOME, AWESOME MOVIE!