Lucius Malfoy

"Malfoy, Lucius!"

A tall boy with long golden hair pretty much strutted up and slid the Sorting Hat over his head. Immediately the Hat loathed him.

I don't like you.

When my father hears about this..

Hears about..what?

The rudeness of the Hats at Hogwarts. I was all set for Durmstrang, you know..but Mum said I'd catch cold..

Um..all right then. Anyhow..Sorting you..do you know, in all my days I've never met such a pompous little brat as you are..

EXCUSE ME!

Well, you are a pompous little brat. Always going on about Your Father..and you're extremely conceited, you appear to think you're the boss of the world..

WHEN MY FATHER HEARS ABOUT THIS!
You strange, strange child..you are spoiled as well..

Did I put you on my head plainly so you could insult me?
Sorry, I'm just thinking over what kind of a person you are..now, despite your bratty-ness and how very spoiled you are..

I AM NOT A SPOILED BRAT!

Keep telling yourself that, darling. Anyhow..you're very cunning and sly, always able to trick people into getting your way..very conceited as well – don't say a word! – and you think that anyone who is in any relation to a non magical person is well below you...you have many traits of Slytherin..

That's where I will go. To Slytherin. Or else my father will hear about it!
Shut up about your father! Anyhow, you also have traits of Ravenclaw. You are extremely clever, (as much as it pains me to admit it) and very smart, as well..yes, yes you'd do well in Ravenclaw.

No. No no no no no no no no. I BELONG IN SLYTHERIN.

Hush. Gryffindor is also a possibility..you aren't chivalrous, but yes, you are brave..somewhat..but no, you're not loyal..you'll turn your back on a friend the moment danger is hinted..you're too disloyal for Hufflepuff as well..but you'd fit in quite well in Ravenclaw, truth be told.

But I wanna go in Slytherin.

I'm terribly tempted just to put you into Ravenclaw to defy you, but I can't, I'm not allowed. Unfortunately. Yes, you are more Slytheriny than Ravenclawy.

"SLYTHERIN!"

A/N: Kay, a few things..first of all, this chapter is for Air-Knitter. :D She asked so nicely that I couldn't resist.

Second of all, sorry for not posting earlier! I have been unbelievably busy. Finals are coming up :(. Math finals, at that. So, the next chapter might not be up for a while.

Third of all, sorry this chapter was kinda dumb. I'm hoping it reads as funny, but if it doesn't, tell me. :)

Fourth of all, the underlined quote is from Pirates of the Caribbean :D. Love that.

Fifth of all, I fully wrote Lucius Malfoy exactly like Draco, as I couldn't make fun of Draco because the silly old Hat decided that his hair was too Slytheriny. Hope no one minds :D.

Sixth of all, in sixteen and a half days I will be able to embrace the preciousness that is summer vacation and updates will be much more regularly, hopefully.

Seventh of all, this author's note is wayyyyyy too long and my laptop is dying, so I better post, huh? Review and have a great day!