First non-feel good. Oneshot, lots of sadness, kind of not my best...Please review though.
I don't own any of this. =/
"It's funny how someone can break your hear and you can still love them with all the little pieces"
Severus Snape was waiting out by the lake at Hogwarts, the sun was about to set, and the lake rippled from the Giant Squid's venture. His hair was still greasy, though less so, and his face had an unusual softness in its countenance. His legs were crossed, though he kept stretching them out, then standing u, leaning against the tree, sitting back down...he was not really sure how to do this...
In his hands, he held a magnificent piece that he had worked on all summer. A lily made of glass, with a small green dewdrop of glass clinging to one of the delicate petals...Green that would match the eyes of her...
He had really screwed up with Lily, but now it was all fine. At the beginning of the summer he had finally spoken to her in a chance meeting, and explained that he had never meant to call her...that word. He had been confused, his pride had been hurt. She had accepted his apology with grace, because that was what Lily did, but tonight was the first time they were going to talk as new friends again.
They used to meet at this part of the lake and talk. Lily would stick her feet in the water and flop down in the grass. He would sit on a stump, knees curled up to his chest, watching her warily to ensure nothing bad happened...He was too used to good moments getting ruined.
He shook the jumble of thoughts from his head. No, today was going to be different.
She had agreed to meet him hadn't she? It was the summer after their last year at Hogwarts and she had set aside other plans to speak to him for awhile. Things were going to change, he knew it.
All summer, he had been recruited by Death Eaters, and all summer, he had considered it...Until Lily got in contact with him. If he had her, he would not need the Dark Lord. He would have the strength to say no if he knew Lily still cared about him.
"Severus!"
He leaped to his feet, tipping the glass lily into his robe pocket. He turned on the spot and saw her running towards him from the gate. A smile spread onto his face. The sun shone on her hair, giving her that cliché golden aurora around her. Her face was crumpled with happiness, her prominent green eyes twinkling.
This was the girl he loved.
She slowed to a stop, beaming at him. "Hi."
He smiled. "Hi, Lily."
She shook her head. "I've missed talking with you so much!"
He smiled even wider. "So have I. And again, Lily, I'm so sor-"
She held up a hand, shaking her head. "No, it's okay. I understand Sev. This isn't about you proving your apology. It's about us going back to being friends, like we used to be."
He stared at her for a second, worry still traced on his face, before he relaxed. "Okay."
She laughed and glanced out across the lake. "Wow, that looks...It looks beautiful."
Severus nodded, his eyes still on her face, traveling over her hair. "Yeah...It's perfect, isn't it?"
She nodded, crossing her arms. "It sure is."
He jerked out of his stupor and glanced out over the lake. He chuckled, feeling full of happiness. Who would have thought? He should be a nervous ball of fear right now, but he was just genuinely happy to be with Lily.
It was a good sign.
"Did you have a good summer so far?" he asked Lily quietly.
She turned to him, nodding with a bright smile. "Oh quite! We went to France and it is just so lovely there. I spent a few nights of the summer with some girls from our year, but other than that..." She shrugged and then searched his face, biting her lip. "I really did miss having you around. Tuney was just awful and I really didn't have anyone to talk to except...well, nevermind."
She looked away and he scrunched his eyebrows. "Except who?"
She shrugged her shoulders. "I had a few owls from friends, but I don't think they understood as well as you would have."
He couldn't help but smirk inwardly, proud to know that he was the person that understood Lily Evans best. It was a title he would wear with pride...
She turned to him, smiling again. "But what about you? How has summer been?"
He could not answer without sounding like an utter loser. Lonely, tear-filled. Basically him everyday, staring at his ceiling, wishing he hadn't screwed everything up. But of course, he could not say that. Instead, he shrugged and said, "Pretty boring. No adventures with the neighbors," he added, smiling at her. She laughed.
He could make Lily Evans laugh.
She smiled contentedly and turned back to the lake, staring across it, a distant but joyful look in her brilliant eyes. He felt his heart quicken. The moment was coming...
It was time to tell Lily Evans that he loved her.
They turned to each other at the same time, and both laughed. She had a radiant look on her face and seemed to be trying to hold back a huge smile. "Severus, I have something I need to tell you."
His heart pounded as his hand slipped into his pocket, closing softly around the Lily.
She shook her head, the smile faltering in and out as she tried to keep herself under control. "I just...I need to tell somebody and I knew that the only person I could tell was you."
He looked at her, his face full of earnest, her own so eager. He nodded tenderly and said in barely over a whisper, "You can tell me."
She smiled.
"I'm marrying James Potter."
On Lily's own face, a smile had erupted that he had never seen before on her, and his face, his expression remained the same, only drained. Inside, everything was crashing down. His insides fell to a heap in the bottoms of his shoes, his heart was cut over and over again until it completely fell to pieces, and yet each piece still screamed Lily.
He heard her words from afar. "I know you don't like him much and neither did I, but he owled last summer when I was feeling awful and he was actually quite nice. He really cared and then we hung out a few times and he had stopped acting so arrogantly. He was Head Boy and he had grown up. We dated on and off. This summer though...He just asked me two days ago."
He looked at her, trying to comprehend why she was giggling. Lily- giggling? Severus and her had teased all of those hormone-driven girls who giggled over boys, and here she was...
She continued, "I haven't told anyone. You were the first to know, because I promised James not to tell anyone until you knew."
He stared at her and a word escaped his throat. "Why?"
She smiled sweetly. "'Cause your my best friend, Sev."
He shook his head. "J-james?" She had called him James! She had always called him Potter, usually with the title 'slimy git' preceding it.
She shrugged, a sparkled of worry in her eye. "I know you hate him, but he has changed. I..." her voice cracked. "I'm really happy. Can't you be happy for me?"
He stared at her, her eyes wide, full of hope. His emotions were drained and he no longer felt anything when he looked into those ridiculous doe eyes. He nodded curtly, as though closing a formal business deal. She smiled and flung herself at him, hugging him tightly, her arms around his neck.
"Thank you, Sev, thank you, thank you!"
He grunted, his arms sticking out. She pulled away, eyes shining. The sun was setting and her face had lost that angelic aura and was beginning to be cast in shadows. Her kind eyes flashed towards the castle. "I have to be going now, James will want to know. Thank you Severus. We'll talk later, I swear."
She turned and ran towards the gate. Once she was on the other side, she twirled on the spot, and was gone. He stared after her and swallowed a few times. His hand closed around the lily in his pocket and tightened around it. He felt completely numb.
What had he really expected? Maybe she would not have loved him, back...but he hadn't expected this. He would have never expected this. Ever.
He began walking. He could not bear to stand in this place anymore; this place he had cherished over so many others. He could not bear to keep reminding himself...He strode through the gates and helplessness overtook him. He stopped.
What was he supposed to do now?
He pulled from his pocket a dark pendant Lucius Malfoy had given him. 'Rub it with your forefinger, and we will know you have made the right decision.' He had been told to keep it on him until he made his choice.
Snape held the pendant in one hand as he withdrew the glass lily in the other. He stared at the lily and, a tear welling in his eyes, rubbed the pendant.
A burning sensation soared up the arm that held the lily. He gasped and dropped it; it fell to the soft ground. He looked down, seizing in pain as an outline of a skull and snake appeared on his arm, burning into his flesh. He yelled in pain and suddenly there was wooshing around him.
Lucius Malfoy's eyes could be seen behind the mask; Severus recognized others. Nott, Avery, the Lestranges...
"Finally, Severus..." Malfoy said, lips curling. "It took you long enough..."
Severus gripped his hand, sweating and rocking back and forth. "Yes...But now...I am ready."
Malfoy smirked. "Good."
Severus felt his mark burn and he saw the others grip their own arms. He looked up at them and Lucius' eyes met his.
"Well, well, well...The Dark Lord would like to meet with you."
Severus straightened up. "Very well. I'm ready for anything."
Malfoy smirked. "That's what they all think."
They turned and the group of Death Eaters disappeared, a cackling from the voices of a few lingering in the cool night air. A glint was dancing along the gates as the sun sunk lower and lower. The light bounced off the shards of a glass lily and shimmered along the gates until the sun had sunk beyond the horizon and the night fell upon the pile of glass.
It was the last time Severus saw either Lily again.
Again, not my best, but reviews would be very much appreciated.