Goody I got 4 reviews!
Anyway I love writing humor fics (and I had some spare time, heh heh)
Disclaimer: Oh yeah I don't own shaman king or any other characters from any other publications! I don't own the TV I watch them on!
Here's the next one : laughs evilly at the thought of poor Tao subjected to the abuse of the voice!
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Know your stars...I mean SK characters!
Victim 2: Tao Ren
A black haired Chinese boy walked on to a stage. He looked around, surprised. Seeing a gold framed chair with red cushions on it he thought of sitting down but then walked by.
Suddenly something white caught the corner of his eye. A bottle of milk was sitting on the chair. Ren's mouth watered at the sight of the clear glass bottle, he went over, sat down on the chair and began to drink the milk. A disembodied voice echoed.
"Know your stars, Know your stars, Knows your stars."
Ren leapt up from the chair spilling the milk over himself—well he tried to but it was as if an invisible bond kept him tied to the chair.
Ren: Hey! What's the big idea! Let me go who ever you are! Why can't I get up (struggling to move)
Voice: You have drunk the magical milk from the sea cows! Now you are stuck to this chair till I release you!
Ren: O.o
Hao: (off stage) Hey! You told the truth again!
Voice:(In official tone) it's a job requirement I have to say at least 1 or 2 true sentences and that's concludes that requirement!
Hao: heh heh-on
Ren: Hey what's going what do you mean?
Hao: (still offstage) Don't listen to him Ren he—(is cut off by security)
Voice: moving on Tao Ren is not really Chinese … he's English.
Ren: What I only have an English accent in the dub!
Voice: Tao Ren he hates cows!
Ren: No actually I love them they provide me with my vital life force!
Hao: (some how manages to ditch Inuyasha) hey are you running out of ideas cos I swear you said something to me about cows!
Voice: I said Moving on ! (while shouting in the other mike for security! Even though we cant see him) AS I said before Tao Ren hates cows!
Ren : nooooooo! I luv my precious cows!( still not angry because he is state of shock)
Voice: Oh really then why did I have a certain Ainu come to me with a picture of a cow dilapidated by you!
Ren: Huh? Horo Horo?
Voice: No it was a girl came to me quite late almost midnight!
Ren: NOOOOO! Prika how could you?
Prika: (Suddenly appears on stage) what? I didn't do anything! Renny-Chan!
Ren: (spike growing) I told you ot to call me that in public!
Voice: SECURITY!
A red and white blur whizzed on to stage and off, disappearing with Prika.
Voice: ( All smug at security efficiency) Tao Ren he has a sword… attached to his head!
Ren ( gigantanourmous vein pulsing on head) I! DO! NOT! It's my hair style!
Voice : It's a sword if I say so !
Ren: just because you say it doesn't make it true!
Voice: does too!
Ren: does not!
Voice: does too!
Ren: does not!
Voice: does too!
Ren: does not!
Voice: does too!
Ren: does not!
Voice: does toooo ! Ill see to it that there is a sword attached to your head! Stitch! Attach a sword to his head!
Alien 626 comes on to stage dragging sword of light. Spits on Ren's head and attaches sword after saying " iiee gaa naga quista!" walks off
Voice: Now you have sword on your head ( grins like a baby even though we cant see it)
Ren : Mmpph! ( cant talk because head is pushed on to lap because of the weight of the sowrd)
Voice: Ahem Stitch you can take it off now( sheepishly because " how can he torture him if he cant talk!")
626: ( removes sword )
Ren: ( gasp!)
Voice: Tao Ren he actually Jack Spicer dressed up as a Chinese boy!
Ren: ( red with anger now!) OOOOO! When I get my hands on you! You, you, you, you you'll be sorry!
Voice: How? I already have your Kwan Dao! And your guardian ghost!
Ren: O.o Noooooooooooo!
Bason: ( off stage) Master help! I'm in the dungeons!
Ren: This place has dungeons?
Voice: yes we had them renovated!
Ren: Really? My uncle renovated the dungeons I was held in ! all skeletons and rats quite horrible!
Voice well our are a little more conventional!...
Bason: ( still off stage) Gah! Their torturing me with cute little Telitubies!
Ren : (Anger returning!) Let him go!
Voice: ( still prattling on about dungeons and color schemes) and the things we are doing in the fields of torture are fascinating! Huh? Let him go? How rich! Mwahahahahahahah!
Audience: O.o
Ren: O.o
Bason: O.o
Telitubies: O.o
Security/ Inuyasha: O.o
( cricket chirps)
Voice: Mwha hahahahah! Tao Ren he is also Luke's father!
Luke Skywalker: My father!
Ren : who the hell are you!
Luke: But your not some dude in a mask breathing funny! Where that damn script!
Inuyasha: (Tiredly takes him off stage)
Voice: And now you know Tao Ren! A boy with a sword on his head, who is English , hates cows and is actually Jack spucer and Darth Vader in disguise!
Ren: ( struggling ) Nooo! They don't They? Whose they? Anyway Come down her and fight like a man !or voice or whatever you are! ( confusedly now)
Voice: I need some coffee Tina! Ahh… I mean ……. that is to say…. That's all for today folks! Tune in next time for a look at the Ainu Prika!
The light fades on a dripping with milk Tao running around the stage ! Being chased by telitubies!
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Headcase7:That was great ! will update I a weeks time ! tooodles