Betas: ashcat (here at fanfiction[dot]net ) and txilar (at livejournal[dot]com).

Thank you very much for your comments, I really appreciate each one them.

Chapter 3: The Measure of Secrets
"We dance round in a ring and suppose,
While the secret sits in the middle and knows."
-Robert Frost

"Iruka."

Iruka groaned into Kakashi's pillow, then forced himself to roll over and sit up. He peered past the limp dark fall of his hair at Kakashi, who was standing in the doorway to the bedroom. In Kakashi's gloved hand balanced a delicate cup-and-saucer. Iruka could smell the tea from where he was still sitting in the bed; he sniffled and rubbed at his nose as Kakashi came close.

"Thank you." Taking the cup carefully, he took a cautious sip of the fragrant beverage. His stomach, which had been staging a revolt for the past three days or so, began to calm just a little.

"I have to go soon." Kakashi stood with one hand on his hip as he watched Iruka drink the tea. He was fully dressed for a security detail; he even had his mask on, something he rarely wore for the past month or so... at least, when he was safely ensconced in Iruka's apartment with all the window-coverings shut tightly. "Any better?"

"I think so," Iruka said and rubbed his belly with a grimace. He let out an enormous belch and grinned weakly at Kakashi, who looked torn between deep concern and teasing Iruka. "I might try eating something today."

"Alright. I'll be back in the evening." Kakashi hesitated and then tugged down his mask, leaning down to give Iruka a quick kiss. Iruka hoped his breath wasn't too awful; he had been sick last night. Kakashi drew back and his lips quirked up slightly before he replaced his mask. "Take care."

"Okay," Iruka said, feeling suddenly very shy. "You, too."

Their relationship was astoundingly normal so far... even though they had a tendency to be a little unsure around each other outside of the bedroom. They would have the kind of sex that would leave Iruka's mind in a whirl for the rest of the day, but would continue to act like awkward friends when walking together in public. Part of it was due to that particular trait they shared: a of kind of intense desire for privacy. As far as possible, they kept their growing relationship very low-key. They couldn't escape from receiving long, contemplative looks from other shinobi, especially Genma who apparently felt that his powers as a match-maker were legendary; and Gai, who informed Iruka that if his Rival's brave and wonderful heart was even slightly cracked by Iruka, then the sensei would have a very stern letter coming his way. A written version of the Lotus, apparently.

Iruka had been bemused to be so subtly threatened by Gai for Kakashi's sake, but he had solemnly promised that the Copy-nin's delicate feelings had no fear from his quarter.

Apart from the surreality of that particular incident, there were moments that Iruka felt as if he should pinch himself, not believing that this was actually his life. He and Kakashi had meals together as much as possible, spending an inordinate amount of time in each others' presence. Iruka had an idea that, after the stress and abnormality of missions, Kakashi craved normality; therefore, Iruka tried to give him this as much as possible: someone calm to come home to; a safe space in which to rest. He knew that Kakashi was the owner of a large family compound on the outskirts of the village-centre, but he never seemed to spend much time there; more often than not, Kakashi was in his apartment. Kakashi spoke of the compound often enough, though; he had indicated, albeit quite indirectly, that he would like Iruka to visit, to see the wide expanse of farmland all around. Iruka thought that this was a fine idea, but until then, he worked hard at creating a mental oasis in his own tiny apartment.

Kakashi appeared content with this and this pleased Iruka no end. He really did like taking care of other people. He was damned good at that. Once, Genma slyly called Iruka 'Kakashi's little wife', and Iruka had been caught between indignant rage and a surprising sense of pride. He found that instead of feeling embarrassed, he didn't care that some civilians frowned at them when the whispers began to increase (despite their attempts at moderation), and he sure as hell didn't put much stock into reports that certain parents had complained and threatened to pull their children out of his class. One only lived for so long, and as shinobi that time-line was shortened even further. Iruka had learned a long time ago that it was best to take his happiness wherever he could get it. Besides, the children were adamant about remaining under his tutelage.

"I'll see you soon," Kakashi said now, his gaze roaming the air around Iruka's frame. It seemed that he found no aberration, for he simply nodded once and left the room. Iruka heard the front door open and close again.

As soon as he felt Kakashi's chakra fade from the roof, he got up and went to the bathroom as swiftly as he could. His stomach roiled as he knelt before the toilet, but thankfully nothing particularly serious came out; he still spat, through, trying to get rid of the taste of bile.

Sitting back on his heels, Iruka sighed. It was going to be a long day at school.

*

Kakashi was waiting for him at the gates of the school, leaning against the sturdy wall with that orange book already obscuring his masked face. Iruka walked out with one of his students, who was holding his hand with grave sort of purpose; tiny, sensitive Chitose had somehow detected how unwell Iruka had felt during the morning, despite his massive and mostly successful attempt to hide it from his students. As a matter of fact, as the day progressed he began to feel much better, almost back to normal. He still felt just a little drained, but he found that level tolerable. It was comparable to a night without sleep on a mission, and he had done that many times before.

Despite his explanation that he was feeling fine right now, the little boy had decided that he would stay with Iruka as he straightened his desk and then assist his teacher to the street.

"We shouldn't leave our friends and team-mates behind, Iruka-sensei," he had said in a serious lisp as they ambled down the hallway, hand-in-hand. "That's what you said."

"Quite right," Iruka agreed. As they exited the wide doors and descended the short flight of steps, he was mentally preparing lesson plans specifically designed to increase Chitose's natural gift of observation.

When they got to the end of the wide pathway that led out of the school-yard, Kakashi threw Iruka a save-me sort of look from behind his book; he was being talked at by Chitose's grandmother, a large, brash woman who sold vegetables in the market. Iruka bid her good evening with a smile and picked up Chitose, ignoring an odd twinge in his back as he handed the child over.

"Iruka-sensei!" She cried, perching Chitose-kun on one of her broad hips; Chitose looked disgruntled at that, but he endured this treatment with grace. "You should tell Kakashi-san that he really should get married and have lots of children! We need more like him!"

From his angle, Iruka could see Kakashi rolling his eye behind the Icha-Icha.

"I'll tell him," Iruka promised, and she looked pleased at that. She marched off and Iruka waved at Chitose-kun, who was peering over her shoulder and waggling small fingers at them.

"You should get married," Iruka teased when Kakashi tucked the book in his back-pocket and they headed towards Iruka's apartment. "Let the world endure more children like you. Little terrors to run rampant through my classes."

Kakashi gave him a very long look out of the corner of his eye; Iruka always tried to walk on his right side, so that they could make eye-contact. Right now, the expression in his eye was slightly cool.

"You... don't like children?" Iruka asked softly, feeling as if he had trodden by mistake over one of those subjects that Kakashi didn't like talking too much about; such as his parents, his sensei... his former lovers. Kakashi shook his head.

"I don't hate children," he answered with a shrug. "I don't hate the idea of marriage either. But I'd like to avoid both, as much as possible."

Iruka nodded, feeling a little more secure now that Kakashi had actually answered. "Why not?"

"I just don't." Kakashi appeared to think for a moment after this short reply and Iruka watched his face, not pressing him for any more details. Kakashi spoke up again: "In terms of children... I suppose that while I'm obligated to continue the line, I feel that I wouldn't want to burden anyone else with the Hatake name. It's a very heavy load to carry."

Iruka swallowed and a tight sensation assailed his chest; he didn't like the idea of Kakashi's 'obligations'. Kakashi had explained to him that even the Third had been subtly directing him to suitable women, both shinobi and civilian, in order to continue the line; and Iruka had heard rumours for himself, of women claiming to be carrying Sharingan no Kakashi's child so that they would receive protection and monetary support from both the Copy-nin and the village. Each of those claims had turned out to be sheer untruths (probably due to what Kakashi called, with a hard laugh, his 'Contraception Jutsu'), but it was inevitable that Kakashi would have to do his duty and while he seemed not to like that idea too much, Iruka liked it even less.

"Well. You survived the Hatake name so far, haven't you?" Iruka pointed out as they got to his building, putting that thought away; it wasn't practical to ponder over such thoughts right now. Kakashi wrinkled his nose beneath his mask.

"And look how well I turned out," he answered dryly. "A crazy jounin who prefers to spend most of his time with erotic books and a loud, bossy academy-sensei. Who can be erotic himself, you know."

Iruka had to laugh at that one, even as he fought down a blush. "I'm not bossy." He narrowed his eyes at Kakashi in mock-vexation. "And I'm not erotic."

"Do I need to remind you of how you talk to me in bed?" Kakashi murmured and ran lightly up the stairs before Iruka could smite him. Iruka heard him greet Anko in deceptively sweet tones and he grinned at her as he himself went past her flat. She leaned out her window and gave him a massive leer in response, and he rolled his eyes. When he got to his own place, he found his door wide open and no sign of Kakashi.

Iruka shut the door ; he knelt down and began to unstrap his sandals, listening carefully to the silence of his apartment. He smiled at the atmosphere of mischievous glee that seemed to hover all around.

"Well, I love children," he said loudly as he placed his sandals neatly on the shelf and adjusted Kakashi's, for he had obviously just tossed them in the general direction of the rack before hiding himself. "I like being around them, they keep me on my toes."

Silence; Iruka stepped slowly into his living area, looking around. He felt the air move behind him, just the faintest movement, and he dropped instantly into a low spinning sweep kick. The light malaise was swept away by adrenaline, by the excitement of their mock-fight. They sparred like this nearly every week, and Iruka found as short as these sessions turned out to be, they helped in sharpening his taijutsu skills considerably.

Kakashi was already leaping over his attacking limb, the expression in his eye bright as he rose in the air gracefully; Iruka scrambled up and tackled him, grabbing him around the waist and bearing them both down to the floor. They landed well, their bodies knowing the proper way to fall, and rolled around near the kotatsu; Kakashi ended up straddling him.

"Keep you on your toes, hmm?" Kakashi snatched Iruka's wrists and pinned them to the ground above his head. He was so fast; Iruka was filled with both admiration and disgruntlement. One person should not be so fast and yet Kakashi was. "Obviously so."

Iruka couldn't tell if Kakashi was teasing or being serious, so he glared up at him for good measure. Kakashi chuckled; then, he removed one hand slowly and touched Iruka's jaw, thumb brushing briefly over Iruka's lower lip; his fingers were cool and dry, and as Iruka gazed up at him he could see that Kakashi's expression had become sombre.

"I'll tell you a secret," Kakashi said suddenly. "And you tell me one."

Iruka frowned. "What--"

"ANBU code-name: INU." Kakashi's stare was heavy, at odds with the mechanical tone he was using. "Regular registration number: 009720. ANBU tag: KK-871099. Mission rotation--"

"Why are you telling me that?" Iruka asked, aghast. "You shouldn't be telling me, Kakashi, are you out of your mind?!"

"I'm telling you in case." Kakashi tilted his head, eye half-lidded. "So that one day, if something happens when I'm Inu, you'll know. I'm not on regular duty, but I can be recalled. And I'd want you to know."

"Oh." Iruka blinked up at him. "Ah... thank you."

"Now you know a secret of mine." Kakashi smiled down at him, even as Iruka's stomach twisted. "So you can tell me one of yours."

Tricky bastard, Iruka thought. For the most part, Iruka was distressingly honest and fair; he personally believed in being equal and open, and now that Kakashi had imparted such important information, Iruka's nature dictated that he should share something of equal value.

But he couldn't; not that. It had been ingrained too much into his psyche.

His mother had placed the seal on him herself at birth. She had taught him how to tweak the seal and hide the dragon-component of his chakra as he grew. She told him of the torture she had undergone when it had been discovered by Mist authorities that one of their best shinobi was not human and the child that she had just borne was not a normal baby. At that time, Mist had been thirsty for the blood of 'demons', and before they could beg for mercy, Ren and her husband had been dragged to prison, and they were all sentenced to death.

Even Iruka.

Ren didn't tell him the other part of their tale; it was Isamu, his father, who related this incredible part of their history. Ren had taken her full dragon-form, destroying the building they had been locked in. That night had been terrifying, Isamu had said softly with a distant, half-fearful expression on his face. Isamu had been a skilled ninja in his own right, but Iruka had learned one thing very clearly: while his father loved his mother very much, there had been that look on his face when he recalled her true appearance and power... it had distressed Iruka, even at that tender age.

Ren had taken them here to Konoha. It had been a tiring journey, but she had gone as fast as she could through connecting water-ways and over land. Iruka could not imagine how she had done such a thing. For a water-dragon, going so far from the waters of their birth could be a detrimental act, but to save her family and herself, Ren had stretched herself to the limit... and had saved them all.

Ren had managed to claim a lake a few hours from the main village for a new dragon-home; as regularly as possible, she would romp in the waters. A few times, she had even taken Iruka with her and they had swam together: a massive water-dragon and a little dark-haired boy playing in the quiet moonlight. Legend and tales had cropped up about that lake and people kept away, but Ren was content and so was Iruka; he didn't need to be near water as much as she did, possibly because of his human blood and the seal. Yet, he loved to swim, he was quick and comfortable in the water. In a village full of shinobi who didn't bother to learn how (why learn when a ninja could simply run across the surface of the water?), he was already an anomaly in the eyes of his friends for that.

Deep in his heart, he couldn't bear to have Kakashi look at him as Isamu sometimes regarded his mother.

Now, he let his eyelids fall and murmured, "I'll share a secret of mine, but you mustn't tell a soul."

"Alright," Kakashi said softly.

"I... I'm in love with someone," he whispered. That wasn't a lie. He was in love. Desperately so.

Kakashi was silent and when Iruka peeped up at him, Kakashi was looking down at him with a thunderstruck smile.

"You are?"

Iruka grinned up at him and wriggled his hands out of Kakashi's one-handed grip; he gripped the collar of Kakashi's vest and pulled him down, pressing their lips together slowly

"Yes," he whispered when they barely parted. "Will you keep this between you and me?"

"Of course," Kakashi whispered in response. "Always."

It wasn't too much of a secret, Iruka thought as they began to undress each other slowly, fingers trailing over warm skin, bucking and moaning right there on the floor; but it seemed to satisfy Kakashi for now. Iruka was an expert at keeping his secret, in any case.

...but a small corner of his heart began to wonder.