A/N: If you're reading this, it means that you haven't given up on me, or Deputyward… and you don't know how much I appreciate it. To all you guys that have read, reviewed, and alerted this fic, big hugs to you. I don't have to tell you guys how bad RL can get in the way of writing, so I won't get into it now. But thank you.

As always, big thanks go to my Beta, larin20. She really is amazing, ya'll.

Also, thanks to my FF bestie, Kimbercullen, for helping me through the last bit of this chap. It was a rough one for me, so thanks. Love you bunches!

And on a personal note, I want to say thanks to all the BFFF'ers who have been there for me the past few months, making me laugh and keeping me sane. You all are so fucking cool, I don't even know why you let me hang out with you guys. A special thanks to Auroraluna1, aka Lei Lei, for being that proverbial shoulder to cry on. You are the best, suga, and I love you better than chocolate. :)

And I don't own Twilight or any of the characters… duh. I wish.

On with it.

BPOV

My mind was reeling as Edward put me in the car.

I knew the service was going to be difficult, but I had no idea that I would react the way that I did. My emotions were understandably all over the place, and I had to take deep breaths, in order to stay lucid enough to keep it together. But I felt like I was drowning, falling deeper into the depths, with nothing to keep me afloat.

When I stood there in the ceremony, waiting to accept the folded flag from Edward, all I could think was, he's gone. My father's really gone.

And I lost it.

I couldn't think… the pain of losing Charlie was taking over, and I couldn't think of a way to get a grip. I couldn't do it alone. I couldn't face it alone. So I called out his name, the one person who I felt was going through just as much pain as I was.

"Edward," I choked, over the ever-present lump in my throat, making my voice sound gargled and strained.

And then it happened. We locked gazes with each other, and it was like I couldn't reach him fast enough. I needed to feel comfort; I needed to feel something besides this pain in my heart that I couldn't get away from. When we finally reached each other, I collapsed in his strong arms, the scent of him enveloping me, and I instantly found the comfort I had been aching for. I didn't know what was happening, why I felt this strong connection to Edward, but it was real. It was there, right in front of me, and I welcomed it without question.

The ride home was quiet. I thought about Charlie, about the fact that both my parents were gone, and I had the rest of my life to be without them. I thought about all the things in life that they would miss; my wedding, kids, grandkids, and graduations. It all seemed so unfair. I had no one left in this life to really support and be there for me.

Then I thought about the man driving me home. Edward. It was strange, from the moment we met, I felt like I could tell him anything. I also had this trust in him that I usually didn't have with men. I thought maybe it was because he was so close to Charlie, but then I really thought about it, it wasn't just Charlie at all, it was something deeper. The pull, the unrestricted force, that pushed us together, was much stronger then I could ever imagine. In the first moments that I was in his presence, the burning in my chest overwhelmed me. I had never felt that before, and for once I wasn't scared to embrace it. All the friendships in my life were few and far between, and it took a lot to get me to trust someone enough to open up to them. It took me months to open up to my last boyfriend, and I knew him for years. But it wasn't that way with Edward. He seemed so vulnerable, but strong at the same time. So fragile, but yet enduring. He was so intriguing to me. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt better when he was around. I felt secure, safe, protected.

Warm, very warm. Especially, when he touched me. The warmth traveled up my bones.

It was.... not a bad feeling, I thought.

We pulled up to the house and sat there for a few more moments. I was so drained, I wasn't sure if I could even walk up the front steps. I looked out the window of the car to the house, and it felt like a million miles away. I mentally counted how many steps it would actually take to the door, judged it way too many, and opted to sleep right where I sat. I lazily closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around my midsection. Then I heard Edward clear his throat, and he began to speak softly.

"I think we should do this at my place," he said.

"Okay," I replied, without second-guessing. Charlie's house wasn't going to be the best place for me right now. If I knew I couldn't manage to remove myself from the car, how was I going to make it a whole night alone? Edward seemed to know exactly how I was feeling before even I realized it. When I spoke, I barely recognized my own voice, it was gravelly and raw- from crying, I guessed.

He got out of the car slowly, never taking his eyes off of mine, as he rounded the front of the vehicle toward my passenger door.

"Thank you, Edward," I whispered, looking up at him after he opened my door.

He nodded, and took my hand as we walked up to his front door. I counted the steps as we walked. Twenty-eight. It seemed a lot longer back at the car, I thought. With Edward's hand holding mine, I almost felt like I flew from the curb to the door. He glided so easlily, never faltering in stride. The miles and miles I dreaded sitting in the car, melted into inches and inches. I kind of wished the journey were longer. I really liked him holding my hand.

"So...what will it be?" Edward asked with a gleam in his eye.

"I smiled, "As long as it's wet and alcoholic, I don't care."

"You're in luck," Edward said, as he opened the door and let me pass before him. "I have both."

I was never much of a drinker, but in this case, I would definitely make an exception. Tonight, I wanted to be drunk… very, very drunk. The kind of drunk where you blackout. No memories, no worries for just one night. Yeah, that kind of drunk. I wanted to feel the numbness course through my veins. I wanted to feel… well… I wanted to feel nothing, if only for a few hours. I had the rest of my life to mourn Charlie.

I deserved to feel numb for one night.

Southern Comfort is about the only whiskey I can tolerate. Jim Beam and Jack Daniels are not friends of mine, since my early days of "experimenting" with alcohol in high school and college, and trust me…neither tasted as good coming back up. I didn't imagine many people up north drank it. I didn't know why I thought that, maybe because it was all in the name. So I was surprised when Edward took a bottle of Southern Comfort out of his kitchen cabinet. It was such a strange coincidence. I had to ask him about it.

"So…um, Edward," I called from the living room. I made myself comfortable on his black leather sofa. I couldn't help but think to myself, how "bachelor pad" of him, to have a leather couch.

"Yeah," he shouted back from the kitchen, after he closed the cabinet. I could see from where I was sitting, Edward also had a bottle of Cazadores Reposada Tequila sitting on the counter. He poured himself a shot.

"You drink Southern Comfort?" I asked.

"Um, well… Jasper - that's Alice's fiancé, he's from Texas - got me hooked on SoCo. Apparently it's in their blood or something," he laughed.

I sighed with a timid smile. He had a cute laugh.

"But, once I tried it, I kind of liked it. Now, it's grown on me, so I keep some around for whenever Jazz comes over." Edward took out the cranberry juice from the fridge and mixed my drink.

For the first time today, when I looked at Edward's face, he looked happy. I thought about the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his friend and sister, and I could tell right away how much he cared for them. There was a light in his eyes that you couldn't see all the time, like he was almost masking it. It was nice to see that, for a change.

Edward brought the shot of tequila up to his mouth and tossed it back, skipping the salt and lemon. He picked up my drink and made his way in to the living room, beer in hand. He handed me my Southern Comfort and cranberry juice, then sat on the lazy-boy recliner, giving me space, while I remained on the couch.

We both looked at each other, sipping our drinks silently.

"So," I started, not really knowing what to say.

I wasn't nervous at all- it was just that way with Edward- but I was scared to death of making an ass out of myself. I wanted him to… well, I really wanted him to like me. If he was going to be my "person", I wanted him to like spending time with me, and not just out of obligation to Charlie.

"What are you going to do now, Edward?" I asked.

He took another swig of his beer, before he began to speak. I noticed how his Adam's apple moved when he swallowed, and the way he licked his lips after he took each sip. Not to mention the way he delicately played with the label on his beer bottle with his fingers.

Damn.

"Well," he said, "I'm not sure. It's going to be really difficult without your dad there at the station, but I can't abandon the rest of the guys. We've all come to count on each other through all this. And besides… I'm going to get to the bottom of it," he finished, the conviction clear in his voice.

"Get to the bottom of what?" I asked, confused.

"Bella," he said resolutely. "I'm going to find out who did this to your father. It would be the greatest injustice if I didn't even try. And I know that if it were me, your father wouldn't stop until justice was served, and the parties responsible were behind bars where they belonged."

With this entire situation happening so fast, I didn't even think about the investigation that would take place to find Charlie's killer. But I also didn't think Edward would be involved. It was dangerous work and I felt suddenly scared for him. If something happened to Edward… I didn't even want to think about that.

"Edward, don't you think you should let someone else handle this? I mean, you were so close to Charlie. It's not like you can be objective," I pleaded.

"I have to, Bella. We may not exactly be 'impartial', but it just seems right that one of us should lead the investigation. The guys and I are going to work day and night until we find the scum that took my best friend away from me."

I slowly nodded, realizing quickly that once Edward Cullen made up his mind about something, there was hardly anything anyone could do to stop that.

"Well what about you, Bella? What are you going to do now?" he asked, looking me right in the eyes. It was strange, the look he had on his face… like he was pleading with me silently for something, but I didn't know what.

"I don't know," I said, fumbling with the hem on my shirt. It was a nervous habit I picked up years ago, while sitting in countless hospital waiting rooms with my mother. "I think I want to finish up my degree, but I'm not sure if writing's still what I want to do now," I whispered.

"Why not?" he asked. "Charlie was always so proud of your writing. He said you were going to write the next great American novel," he grinned.

"I know," I said, still looking at my lap, though I could feel Edward's eyes on me. "I'm just not as confident as I used to be, I guess. And I feel like there are so many other things in the world that are way more important that I could be doing, you know?"

"Like what," he chuckled, "being a cop? Not that I don't think you'd be a great one, but your father would choke me from the grave if I let that happen," he smiled.

"No, Edward," I said sarcastically, "I'm not planning on joining the force anytime soon. But I was thinking about something earlier today," I paused, not really sure how Edward would react. I shook my head, "Nevermind, it's stupid," I whispered.

"What is it, Bella?" he asked, leaning forward in his chair. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I'm here and I won't judge you," he said.

"Well, I thought about the private sector. I'm just a civilian, but I know more about police work than most police officers, especially when it comes to the investigations. Charlie taught me a lot. So, maybe I could, I don't know, be a private investigator or something. And not just like those on TV who spy on cheating spouses, but like working with the police to solve crimes. There are things that I could do that protocol won't allow someone like you to do." I stopped and looked more closely at Edward, trying to gauge his reaction. His face was blank. Edward didn't say anything, only stared me. I hesitated before I continued, feeling very self-conscious. "I don't know, I was just thinking. It's stupid," I said, embarrassed. I couldn't believe I just spilled my guts like that, and only after one drink.

How much alcohol was in this sucker? Apparently, any amounts of alcohol went straight to my brain, permanently erasing my verbal filter.

Edward crossed over the space of the living room to sit by me on the couch. Just like a breeze of warmth, his scent enveloped me again, and I felt calmer. More peaceful. It was getting really strange how this man had that kind of effect on me.

He took the drink out of my hand, setting it on the wooden coffee table. Then with the most intense look in his golden eyes, he took my small hands and squeezed.

"Bella, nothing that comes out of your mouth would ever sound stupid to me," he said softly.

I tried to ignore that ping of electricity that I felt whenever we were this close to each other, but it was so strong- I just knew he felt it too.

"I wish you could see how much the light in your eyes brightened when you talked about that," he said, looking deep into my eyes. Chocolate, meeting caramel. I felt a shiver flow throughout my entire body, giving me chills. "If that's something that you want to do, then I say go for it! Charlie… he'd be proud of you if you drove a garbage truck, for Christ's sake," he laughed.

I couldn't help but laugh too. He was right. Charlie always wanted me to do what made me happy, no matter what it was. I smiled at Edward, silently thanking him, and he returned the smile, nodding his head and releasing my hand.

"Well, enough about all this serious talk. Let's give it a rest for tonight, okay? We have plenty of time to iron out the future," he said, pulling me up from the couch. "How about some music?" he inquired. He seemed really interested in my opinion. It was nice.

We walked over to his entertainment center, which housed about a million CD's and DVD's, that I noticed where carefully organized into alphabetical order. He must've been really fond of his collection, I thought.

"What would you like to listen to?" he asked, leading the way to the bookcase.

I walked over to the extensive collection, already having one song in mind that I knew I wanted to hear tonight.

I ran my fingers through the discs, searching for it. It was my favorite song growing up… Charlie must've sung it to me a million times.

And something told me that Edward would have it.

After a few minutes of searching, I found what I was looking for, along with two others, and pulled it from the shelf, handing it to Edward.

"Nice choice, Swan," he said formally. I chuckled.

He put the discs into the CD changer and I breathed a sigh of relief. Even after all that Edward and I'd been through today, I couldn't help but feel a little relief… like things were going to turn out okay. He pushed play, and the opening guitar melody invaded my senses, and I relaxed.

It was time to dance.

EPOV

I could tell from the very first song that Bella picked out, that this was going to be an interesting night. And here, I was so worried that the only thing we'd have in common musically was, well… nothing.

"What would you like to listen to?" I asked nervously, as I pointed the way to my CD collection. For a reason I couldn't really explain, I was terrified that she would take one look at my CD's and run for the fucking hills. Not that I had weird taste or anything, but I wanted her to like the stuff that I did. I wanted her to like me. And what if she took one look at my alphabetized-by-genre-and-by-name collection and realized what a fucked up, neurotic freak I was?

She walked over to the bookcase, running her tiny fingers across the titles, nodding at the ones she recognized.

So far, so good.

She stood there, browsing, for a few minutes. One by one, and very carefully, she picked out three CD's, and handed them to me. I snuck a peek as I put them in the changer and I was surprised at what she picked out. Although they were three very different selections, they complimented each other. If music gives you any insight into someone's personality, then Bella Swan remained an enigma to be discovered, a puzzle to be solved. It just made me want to know even more about her.

We listened to the music and made small talk, as I made metal notes on the subjects of interest that made her face light up. She looked me right in the eyes as she spoke with such a fire in her. I couldn't help but be enamored. As the time went by, and one drink turned into two, then three, then four… Bella became more relaxed, laughed a bit more, and I could tell that we were both feeling pretty fucking good. I wasn't complaining, though. I felt content, for a brief moment. I didn't have to think about anything except for what music to play next, and the beautiful girl keeping me company, sprawling lazily on my leather couch.

As the beginning to my favorite Van Morrison song began to play, I took a big swig of my beer, feeling particularly fucking buzzed at this point. I remember thinking that this was my favorite song; it just always stood out to me. I hadn't overlooked the irony that it was a song about a brown-eyed girl. My present company may have influenced my opinion a little.

Okay, a lot.

Just as I was about to sit back in my comfy chair, Bella grabbed the drink from my hand, put it on my coffee table, and grabbed my hand, attempting to pull me up. She couldn't move me, but it was fun to see her trying. She was so interesting, from the second the song began to play; it was like I was looking at a younger, happier version of Bella. The tragedy of the last few days disappeared, and she looked so alive and vibrant. She was radiating this aura about her, like she could've lit up this entire dreary-ass town with that smile of hers.

Damn, she was so beautiful.

"Come on Edward, let's dance. It's my favorite," she said happily.

Oh shit.

She wants to dance.

With me.

I neglected to tell her earlier what a fucking disaster I am on anything resembling a dance floor. I wasn't expecting to dance with the girl, only sit back and have a few drinks with her. Now my mind was scrambling to find a way to get out of it. Fast.

I'm going to look like the world's biggest fucking moron.

"I can't dance, Bella," I said, embarrassed. I'd always had two left feet when it came to dancing, but especially after all the alcohol I'd managed to consume in the last four hours.

"Come on, Edward… it'll be fine. It's just us."

"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you," I chuckled.

She took my hand, and that thing - that spark- ignited again the moment our hands touched. I looked into her eyes, just to see if I wasn't crazy. To see if she could feel it too. She had to have felt that.

The look in her eyes, even with the alcohol-induced haze, gave me my answer.

I tried my fucking best to keep what shred of dignity I had left, but it was no use. Edward Cullen dancing was probably the equivalent to an epileptic seizure or some shit- Emmett is going to have fun with this little story for decades.

As I attempted to sway my hips in time with hers, I noticed the evil little grin beginning to form on Bella's face.

"Um, Edward… you really can't dance, can you," she laughed.

I just shrugged my shoulders in response. So now, on top of the other list of things I would do for this girl, apparently making a complete ass of myself is one of them.

I looked down at myself, attempting to sway to the beat, and I couldn't help but laugh at my damn self. I really was terrible. Like a male stripper on a bad acid trip. Or like the scene from "Seinfeld"…the one where Elaine tried to dance. Yeah, it was that fucking pitiful.

"Don't worry, Edward. I won't tell a soul," she winked. "And besides… I think it's kind of cute."

I stopped in midsway, as my mind and the rest of my body caught up with what she said. I looked down at her, and that sparkle in her eyes had me stuck in my spot again. It was almost like those stupid chick-flicks, where time stands still for a second, and you're looking into each other's eyes and shit… it scared the fuck out of me. I wondered silently if the guys in these flicks ever died from being freaked out by a girl.

As the song ended and a slow song began to play, I looked at her, asking her permission silently to dance. She nodded slowly as we reached out to each other, instinctively, without a word, until she was inches away from me. Once Bella wrapped her arms around my neck, I hesitantly wrapped mine around her waist, and took a deep breath.

Now this I could handle. I was the most epic of fails when it came to dancing fast, but slow dancing? This I could do, flawlessly. I tightened my grip around her waist, feeling the tiniest bit of exposed skin above her skirt. Her skin was so soft… I suddenly wanted nothing more in that moment to feel every inch of her skin on my fingers.

She slowly nodded her head, eyes all glassy from the alcohol. I wished now that I had kept track of how many drinks she had. I didn't want her to be sick or anything, but hell, I was too far gone myself to think that far ahead.

She wrapped her hands around my neck, her glassy-eyed gaze never leaving mine. She had this look on her face- I couldn't read it, but it was so intense that it made my heart drop into my stomach. It was as if she could see right through me.

And for the fucking life of me… I couldn't look away.

As the song played on, we moved closer and closer to each other, and about a million fucking things ran through my buzzed brain. My mind was all over the place. I thought about Charlie and how different our lives would be without him. I thought about my siblings and how we'd lost another someone in our lives. And I thought about all the events that led me to this moment. But mostly, of course, I thought about this beautiful, strange, funny, intriguing girl; the girl that was now inches from me, holding me. In that moment, there was only a single thing that I couldn't wait one more day, one more minute to do.

I couldn't fight it any longer.

I needed to kiss her.

I stopped dancing and took my hands from around her waist, moving them instinctively up to her face. As I slowly grazed her flushed cheeks with my thumb, I noticed that it seemed like a different color than when she was embarrassed or flustered.

And warm, I felt very warm touching her cheek.

This was different.

Her eyes still bore into to mine with an intensity that almost sent me running out of my own goddamned house, but instead I returned her gaze with one of determination. I had never, ever been intimidated to kiss a girl before. Ever. But Bella had me shaking from the core; I was so scared that maybe I was reading the signs all wrong, that she didn't want me. Hell, I didn't even know if she liked me.

It would only take about three seconds to find out for sure… either she'd kiss me back, or knock the hell out of me.

I decided, for probably the first time ever, to think positive. I figured I could handle the consequences.

I slowly inched closer to her, praying to the drunken gods that I was doing the right thing. I remember feeling the softness of her face. Her breath, warm and sweet from the whiskey, washing over me, as I closed my eyes, terrified, leaning ever closer, until I felt her lips softly touch mine.

The spark that I always felt whenever I was in close proximity to Bella Swan had no comparison to feeling her soft lips on mine. It was like time stood still once again, and everything was right with the world. She was hesitant at first, and I almost pulled away. But then the most miraculous thing happened.

She started to kiss me back.

Her mouth opened slightly, and I felt her warm breath in my mouth, as I slowly grazed my tongue across her top lip. She followed suit, and suddenly I felt her tongue graze mine.

Warm, she was so warm, all over. I felt it everywhere. I slipped my hand under her shirt, just at the part where it raised from her skirt, not sure how far I could take it. The feel of her warm skin on my hand sent pulsating vibrations up my arm. And she moaned in my mouth. Fucking moaned! It overwhelmed me and made my sway where I stood. Bella steadied me with her hands on my hips, which only sparked my over zealous hormones. Her hands squeezed my shirt tight and I felt the tug and pull of the fabric around my waist.

From that moment on, everything was not so clear.

What started out as a buzz-brained decision, on a whim, with no afterthought whatsoever…turned into a flash of tongues and teeth and bodies clashing, hands reaching, and clothes flying. Everywhere.

Our mouths invaded each other's, passionately and frantically reaching. I couldn't get close enough to her. I wanted to feel every inch of her, on every inch of me. I wanted to feel her heat, her heart, and her soul. Everything, in that moment. It's almost as if even being inside her wouldn't be enough. I wanted to devour her, savor every second of this place in time, because we both knew from the last few days, that all too quickly it could end.

For once in my life, I wanted something to never end.

This thing, this feeling I had for her was so strong; and at first I thought it was just a product of the whiskey talking… but looking back now, I see that it was all about her. I tried to fight what I felt for this girl, who was practically a stranger to me… but so familiar in the most significant of ways. And the way our bodies flowed with each other's, it was like we were, literally, made for each other. I had never felt this way in my entire messed up, tragic existence.

And I damned well didn't want to let that feeling go.

But as we stumbled into my bedroom, drunk with passion and still buzzing from the alcohol that was coursing through our veins, something happened. For the first time in the history of mankind, I, a red-blooded member of the male species, had second thoughts about having sex.

Wait… what the hell?!?!

I have never, NEVER had a second thought about fucking.

Fucking, is like second nature.

Fucking is good.

I sounded like a caveman.

In the past, it's always been a way to forget, a way to feel connected with someone in the most primal of ways. A way to feel something besides the pain and agony of real life. A life where teenagers see their parents murdered in cold blood. A life where nightmares plagued your every thought. For those hours of the night, I didn't have to feel that. I was in control of something. I had control over how it felt to be free. Alive.

But this was altogether different for me. This wasn't about fucking, or even just about me anymore. This was deeper than that, already. I was already connected to Bella, without physically touching her. I was connected to her in a way that I couldn't explain. I couldn't just fuck her. I cared, actually fucking cared, for the girl. She deserved so much more than that.

So when Bella began to take off the last bit of clothing she had on… and my god, she was so fucking beautiful… I froze, like a deer caught in a fucking headlight. She got a curious look on her face, and I could tell she didn't understand what was about to happen. I fucking hated myself for what I was about to do.

"Bella," I whispered.

"Yes, Edward…" she moaned softly, her breath tantalizing my inebriated mind and causing me, for a brief moment, to rethink this sudden burst of chivalry.

"We can't… we shouldn't do this, not now," I said.

"Wait… what?" she screeched, pain in her voice.

"I can't do this to you, Bella. I won't do this. You deserve-"

"Wait. Stop right there, Edward," she slurred. "If you don't want me, then…"

"No! Bella, no," I laughed nervously, looking at her like she was a raving lunatic. How could she think that I don't want her? "That's not it, love. I swear to God, that's not what this is about. Look, I really… I mean… I care about you. I'm supposed to be there for you, not taking advantage of you like this. I just couldn't live with myself if you woke up tomorrow, thinking this was a big mistake."

"But I won't," she pleaded, stepping decisively in my direction.

I took a step back, running a hand through my hair and hoping that the darkness hid the beads of perspiration forming on my forehead. I felt like a bumbling, teenage virgin who'd just lost his fucking nerve mid-foreplay.

"You say that now, but you don't know for sure. I don't know what this is between us, but if it's half as important as I think, we have time. We don't have to jump in to this. You just lost your father, you're not thinking clearly. If, later on, you really want to be with me, there won't be a force on this earth that will be able to stop me from having you. Does that sound okay?" I begged. I silently prayed that she wouldn't hate me for this.

"You're right, Edward… I know that. But I don't want you to be right, dammit. I'm sick of thinking. I don't want to think about anything tonight, I just want to do what I want, for once, without thinking of what someone wants or expects me to do. Why can't we just do that, huh?" she cried, arms flailing. That fire in her eyes almost convinced me to give in to her. And fucking hell, how I wanted her in that moment… her eyes blazing at me, her breathing heavy.

But I just couldn't fucking do it.

I still her movements by grabbing her hands gently, and sat her back down on the edge of my bed.

"Because, Bella… I would never, ever forgive myself if I hurt you. I could never hurt you. I won't. Please understand that, and trust me. Alright?" I pleaded.

She sat there for the longest time, looking me dead in the eyes. Then she slowly nodded her head. "Okay," she whispered.

And I finally let out the breath I was holding.

We sat in awkward silence for what seemed like an eternity, our bodies completely exposed to one another. I couldn't help but feel as if I'd handled things the wrong way, if I allowed things to go too far by allowing myself to give in to my pressing urge to kiss her. I knew what it potentially could lead to, but I didn't want to think about that at the time. In that moment, I just needed her close. And in the process, I'd probably pushed her away. I half expected her to race out the door, and I can't say I would have blamed her.

But she just sat there, silently in the darkness. I'll admit, this reaction scared me more than her running out the door.

Suddenly realizing that she was wearing practically nothing, I slowly rose from the bed, and began gathering Bella's clothes for her. They were haphazardly strewn all over my bedroom like a fucking tornado touched down. I handed them to her with a smile and she took them cautiously. She began to speak as she stood, pulling the shirt over her head.

"Edward?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"I don't want to go home. I don't think I can do it, Edward."

"Bella," I whispered again, as I crossed the room and took her hand softly. "Don't go. Stay with me. I don't want to be alone, either."

After a few moments, she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and whispered, "okay."

And I felt like the biggest prick on the planet for upsetting her like that, but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't let her do something she would regret in the morning, even though I had a feeling that it would've been fucking amazing. My dick was silently calling me a fucking moron for doing this, but my brain, and my heart, knew it was the right thing.

After I pulled on a pair of pajama pants out of my dresser drawer, I sat back against the headboard of my queen-sized bed, and patted the empty space next to me.

"Come on, Bella. Let's go to bed," I whispered.

"Will you… nevermind. It's stupid," she trailed off.

"What, Bella? What is it?" I asked.

"Could you… you know, hold me tonight? Like you did at the hospital? For some reason, I feel safer when you're close to me," she softly pleaded, like she was afraid I would say no.

She really had no clue what I would do for her. All she had to do was ask.

I reached out to her, pulling her toward the bed. She gave me a lazy smile, as I wrapped my arms around her, and I gently kissed the top of her head. She leaned back and looked at me with such vulnerability, such innocence. It was funny, seeing that lioness from just a few moments ago, tuned into such a different version of her, in just a few minutes.

As we moved to lie down together, I breathed her in, caressing her tenderly. It felt so perfect to have her in my arms, like she was supposed to be there. I prayed silently for morning to take its sweet time to come, so I could savor every second of having this beautiful girl in my arms.

I drifted off to sleep with thoughts of a beautiful brown-eyed girl in my mind, her head on my bare chest, and my arms wrapped tightly around her small frame.

That night, I didn't have one nightmare. Not one.

Fic rec time! If you are not reading Auroraluna1's first multi-chapter fic, Face The Music… you seriously need to be. It features a lovely Pianoward. Need I say more?!?

Now, leave me some love… I've missed hearing from you guys. :)